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RE: Speaking - 9/27/2007 8:12:19 AM

toservez

Posts: 1733
Joined: 9/7/2006
From: All over now in Minnesota
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I do not have any always on or when in private restrictions. He has an order called quiet mouth were he is tired of me talking or I am having some difficulty juggling regular conversation and the more power exchange ones. In this mode I am only allowed to speak only for things absolute necessity and phrased in a respectful tone. Got that last Sunday when my team beat his. ;)

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Post #: 21

RE: Speaking - 9/27/2007 1:40:57 PM

kyraofMists

Posts: 3292
Joined: 7/29/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: TemptingNviceSub

Kyra...did you all form your own hand language? or is the one you use ,derived from the language of the deaf?...Tempting

Hi Tempting,

The hand signals that we use were created by him years ago. He got the idea to use hand signals from another dominant and looked at different hand positions until he found ones he liked.

The point of the non verbal communication is to be unobtrusive to other conversations happening and yet still convey to him what we want. There are times when he will make us wait until later to talk to him and times that he will interrupt a conversation with someone else to talk to us. It all depends on what he wants at that time and requesting permission gives him the authority to decide when we will talk to him rather than she and I deciding when we will talk. It doesn't prevent us from speaking our mind; it just gives him the authority to decide when she and I will speak our mind.

We don't just use hand signals to request permission to talk. We have a hand signal that we can use to ask permission to be excused. He uses a hand signal to indicate he wants a drink and I make use of this one during play. If I get thirsty rather than interrupting play I use the signal and then he decides when to stop play and give me a drink.

There have been a number of times at events where people have made the comment that Alandra and I must be mind readers because we do things for him without him having to say anything. Most of that happens because of the hand signals and that we are required to watch for non verbal cues from him.

Knight's Kyra

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Post #: 22

RE: Speaking - 10/8/2007 10:56:41 PM

collarsubkitty

Posts: 13
Joined: 9/9/2007
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well i have talked to my Doms and They and i have agreed that i must ask to speak in public occasions but not in private... if i do start putting that "i told you so" act then it is time for punishment

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Post #: 23

RE: Speaking - 10/8/2007 11:18:49 PM

Lordandmaster

Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
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Yeah, that sounds reasonable to me.

quote:

ORIGINAL: KnottyGirl69

If I speak out od turn, Master gives me a "Look"....that is all I need to know to shut-up...otherwise, He loves to hear what I ahve to say and often asks my opinion.

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Post #: 24

RE: Speaking - 10/9/2007 6:05:45 AM

sweetnurseBBW

Posts: 2464
Joined: 1/26/2006
From: North Carolina
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Some dominants do place restrictions on speech , which is usually discussed beforehand. I have had restrictions on speech and had to ask permission for every single thing in the past. Some like and enjoy it. At this point I do not have restrictions on speech, I still have to be respectful.

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Post #: 25

RE: Speaking - 10/9/2007 5:33:10 PM

cufflynx

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Joined: 10/9/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: RRafe
Sometimes,we all have to learn to shut up long enough to listen.

Mmm, but who enforces it for the dominants? Can get tricky to be respectful, but make sure your full trains of thought and feelings are heard when someone is in the mood to help every word along with empathy and advice before the thoughts are complete. What to do when your dominant has a habit of interrupting? Sorry if that is a hijack.

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Post #: 26

RE: Speaking - 10/9/2007 5:35:53 PM

chellekitty

Posts: 3923
Joined: 3/27/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: cufflynx
What to do when your dominant has a habit of interrupting?

stop speaking until they ask me whats wrong, tell them i felt i was being interrupted, then ask if they want to hear what i have to say, if they say yes, i then ask for permission to speak uninterrupted...if they say no, i save it for another time or let it go, depending on how important it is

edited to add: this is my passive way of dealing with it...i have a passive personality...i don't glare or pout or anything like that while not speaking, that would be passive agressive....i don't demand the right to speak that would be agressive, thats not me...there's nothing wrong with that, its just not me...has absolutely nothing to do with my orrientation....just my personality....

< Message edited by chellekitty -- 10/9/2007 5:38:35 PM >

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Post #: 27

RE: Speaking - 10/9/2007 6:05:35 PM

crouchingtigress

Posts: 4387
Joined: 3/19/2006
From: Maui
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speach restrictions are sexy.....try to look at it as a secret love language, try to look at it like a way to pratice excellence in your life, try to look at it as a way to become a better servant, try to look at it as a way to release your expectations of what you deserve, and try to look at it as a way to stay in the moment, not in the future not in the past...in this exact moment, rife with power, focus and energy...and you are the lucky one that gets to be alive and throb in it.

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Post #: 28