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What Subs Don't Want - 9/26/2007 7:32:19 PM

Sweetlovingpain

Posts: 26
Joined: 2/13/2007
Status: offline

What subs don't want... is boring to read.

I understand they get heckled and harassed a lot, and that's why I make an effort to read through it to get to something meaningful, but many subs here have a three to one ratio of what they don't want to what they do. After seven months or so, I'd be a millionaire if I had a nickel for every paragraph of subs bitching about men that I've read. I wish I had that time back, so I could do something more productive, like piss on an ant hill, or heckle my mailman.

It's pretty much a downer. Why would anyone want to do anything with a salty, frowning person who wants to impress upon you their ability to complain first thing?

Since we always read what bugs subs so much, here's what bugs me:

1. "Slaves" who swing the conversation immediately to what they expect. You're a slave. Half the fun is me not caring what you want, or holding it over your head.
2. People without the critical thinking abilities to parse language, humor, sarcasm, etc... If you can't take a joke, don't go fuck yourself. Go kill yourself.
3. peoplewho Type stuf like this n write back 2 e-mails with "ty" or "LOL"... L2engrish.
4. Subs, slaves, any of 'em really, who over (wasted) time amount to be simple freeloaders who'll do anything for a roof over their heads. Get on welfare, your asses will sting less.
5. Vanilla chicks who flick their beans to BDSM porn until they decide to make a profile here and turn out to be, ouch, woefully vanilla. Go lie to some vanilla dude until he buys into it and leave the rest of us alone.

And here's a good lesson: The world is full of kinky people. It's not special.

Post #: 1

RE: What Subs Don't Want - 9/26/2007 7:36:47 PM

RRafe

Posts: 2060
Joined: 8/29/2007
Status: offline

Victims come in all shapes, roles and sizes. The most amusing are those who complain about other victims.

_____________________________

I seem to be some wierd combination of Ren and Stimpy

(in reply to Sweetlovingpain)

Post #: 2

RE: What Subs Don't Want - 9/26/2007 7:39:43 PM

SolarAndViolet

Posts: 85
Joined: 8/26/2007
Status: offline

I'm guessing one too many subs annoyed you, eh?

1) I think there's a difference between 'not caring' and 'not giving what they want'.
2) Not everyone speaks English as their first language. My toy is an example of that.
3) I can't stand grammar like that, and some people I absolutely refuse to read their posts.. well, we had to agree on at least one thing, now didn't we.
4) I don't think it's just subs or slaves that ever amount to 'freeloaders'. That's a problem with the person, not their identified role in a kinky relationship. I've met some Dom(me)s who are no better. Blatant generalizations seem to be the opiate of the annoyed, and I've long since grown tired of the "So, so and so must hate all such and such, right?" threads. This one isn't any better.
5) Corrupting a girl is a positively joyous experience.. until it's the 10th one you've done while trying to find the right fit for a long term relationship. Still, it isn't for everyone. Some are scared or anxious. As a Dom, you get a chance to guide.. and establish a.. waaaait for it.. relationship based on trust and depth of understanding. What an awful idea.

Your mileage may vary. Mine certainly did from what I'm reading here.
-Solar

_____________________________

Vici, Vidi, Veni... (S)

Happy to be owned by Sir (V) (violetaelf)

(in reply to Sweetlovingpain)

Post #: 3

RE: What Subs Don't Want - 9/26/2007 7:42:25 PM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Sweetlovingpain

1. "Slaves" who swing the conversation immediately to what they expect. You're a slave. Half the fun is me not caring what you want, or holding it over your head.

Until I am your slave, I am your equal. You will care about what I want/expect in a d/s relationship because if we can't come to agreement about a relationship that suits us both, neither of us are going to be entering into it.

quote:

2. People without the critical thinking abilities to parse language, humor, sarcasm, etc... If you can't take a joke, don't go fuck yourself. Go kill yourself.

Just to be clear - is it ok when dominants do this?

quote:

3. peoplewho Type stuf like this n write back 2 e-mails with "ty" or "LOL"... L2engrish.

Can't say I mind "lol" or "ty" that much but as a rule we both hate chatspeak.

quote:

4. Subs, slaves, any of 'em really, who over (wasted) time amount to be simple freeloaders who'll do anything for a roof over their heads. Get on welfare, your asses will sting less.
5. Vanilla chicks who flick their beans to BDSM porn until they decide to make a profile here and turn out to be, ouch, woefully vanilla. Go lie to some vanilla dude until he buys into it and leave the rest of us alone.

Will you be providing us with the ultimate and twue defination of vanilla now?

quote:

And here's a good lesson: The world is full of kinky people. It's not special.

That one I can agree with 100%.

By the way, do you feel better now?

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to Sweetlovingpain)

Post #: 4

RE: What Subs Don't Want - 9/26/2007 7:50:11 PM

amelliagrace

Posts: 1792
Joined: 8/4/2007
Status: offline

Ummm....feel better now?

If you still have something stuck in your craw, or elsewhere, I'd like to recommend - with all due respect - a prune juice and lithium coctail. My dear old aunt, rest her soul, (the one who survived the burning of Atlanta, and was awsome with a firearm) assured me that it work wonders in cases like this.

If that doesn't work it might help to remember that plastering the title "Dominant" across your chest doesn't make you God, and that being "Dominant" doesn't give you any authority whatsoever over a submissive who isn't yours, nor does it make your opinion worth more than it would be if you were nilla, Martian, or a refugee from a prison guards wet dream.

-grace

(in reply to Sweetlovingpain)

Post #: 5

RE: What Subs Don't Want - 9/26/2007 7:50:28 PM

catize

Posts: 3020
Joined: 3/7/2006
Status: offline

quote:

It's pretty much a downer. Why would anyone want to do anything with a salty, frowning person who wants to impress upon you their ability to complain first thing?

Hmmmmmmmmmm, you might want to look at your reflection in a mirror and ask that question out loud.

_____________________________

"Power is real. But it's a lot less real if it's not perceived as power."
Robert Parker, Stranger in Paradise

(in reply to Sweetlovingpain)

Post #: 6

RE: What Subs Don't Want - 9/26/2007 7:55:30 PM

truesub4u

Posts: 2949
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline

Gotta love the way people hate people who spent all their time bitching about other people bitching.... this is gonna get either very boring... or very interesting..... i'm gonna need some coffee for this one.

_____________________________

Wisdom is knowing what to do next, Skill is knowing how to do it, and Virtue is doing it.

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Post #: 7

RE: What Subs Don't Want - 9/26/2007 7:55:33 PM

LadyLynx

Posts: 1098
Joined: 7/24/2007
Status: offline

i know it's annoying to read pretty much the same over and over. But also keep in mind that they are venting. I am sure that you always read a lady's profile (and journal.) and compose thoughtful, considerate emails to her. If you do then your patience will prevail. I also hope that this website isn't your only source of finding submissives. If it is, I urge you to connect with your local bdsm community.

_____________________________

Our community maybe openminded as a whole, but it is still made up of individuals who bring in their own opinions,baggage and agendas!

Known as SwitchWitch in my local community,and on IRC Bondage.

I also go by the nic SwitchWitch on MDS.

(in reply to SolarAndViolet)

Post #: 8

RE: What Subs Don't Want - 9/26/2007 7:57:13 PM

Kelika

Posts: 56
Joined: 4/25/2006
From: Cincinnati
Status: offline

Ok, honestly, as a woman and a submissive woman that hopes to be a slave to a man someday...I thought what he said was funny and quite ok to say considering how much "Dom's" and "Masters" get dumped on for what they say or do.

I mean seriously, I can't count how many times I have seen in type on this board over the last few days about how difficult it is for us submissives and slaves to find a good Dom and we chuckle and laugh on these boards about the stuff that bothers us all the time. Why can't he complain about things that bother him????

It seems very much a double standard in my opinoin.

In regards to the things he said, I saw it from a different view I guess. When he mentioned "slaves who swing the converstion immediately to what they exxpect...." I took it to mean that instead of them saying well I won't do this, I won't do that, eww, ask what he likes, listen and instead of saying what it is you expect him to do in your relationship, get to know him some and -see- if he can be what you expect. That is how I took it anyway; which to me isn't a bad thing.

I admit that I have a hard time taking a joke sometimes because it's a textual environment at first and I could see how that might make me look like a prude if I am not "getting" it. Simple miscommunication at all.

I have a problem with chatspeak as well, although I do sometimes do lol, but a lot of times I say *laughs* too.

And he did say "any of 'em really" when he mentioned free loaders. Which to me encompassed -everyone- including "Doms".

And I do understand the problem with people thinking it is what they want. I can't count how many times I ask someone what they have done, where they have gone, what they have studied, what practical experience they have only to have none. So, yeah, I understand his frustration.

Since I a don't see myself as one of the types he mentioned, I just rolled over like it didn't concern me. The reason why chose to respond though was because from the few responses I thought he might get a little crap for speaking about something others complain about from the other station........a lot!

Well wishes,
Kelika

_____________________________

I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naïve or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman. ~ Anais Nin

(in reply to Sweetlovingpain)

Post #: 9

RE: What Subs Don't Want - 9/26/2007 8:00:46 PM

LATEXBABY64

Posts: 2107
Joined: 4/8/2004
Status: offline

how about when subs attack i seen that on animal planet i did

(in reply to Kelika)

Post #: 10

RE: What Subs Don't Want - 9/26/2007 8:01:27 PM

TemptingNviceSub

Posts: 3054
Joined: 10/1/2005
Status: offline

Amazing..~not~..a person bitching about others who bitch..maybe the thread should be called what Dominants/subs Don't Want...meh...Tempting

_____________________________

I have greatly enjoyed the second blooming...suddenly you find at the age of 50, that a whole new life has opened before you.........Agatha Christie.

You must make tracks into the unknown~~Thoreau

(in reply to Sweetlovingpain)

Post #: 11

RE: What Subs Don't Want - 9/26/2007 8:02:45 PM

Sweetlovingpain

Posts: 26
Joined: 2/13/2007
Status: offline

Yes, I do feel better now, thank you for asking.

Speaking of my stereotypes and prejudices, I have to say, the self-absorbed primadonnas who took this as an opportunity for bluster are a nice break from the petty barbs I expected. Thanks for that.

Especially this one, which I'm sure the author found quite cathartic, witty and profound when she typed it:

"Hmmmmmmmmmm, you might want to look at your reflection in a mirror and ask that question out loud."

I can only guess she showed this to the greasy guy who beats her who swept back his mullet and yelled "OH! BUUURN!" I'm not saying it really happened that way, but it pleases me to think so.

So we're all clear here, I'm fine with myself, even when I'm inconsistent. Some fake "doms" should ponder that.

(in reply to catize)

Post #: 12

RE: What Subs Don't Want - 9/26/2007 8:02:49 PM

OsideGirl

Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Sweetlovingpain

Since we always read what bugs subs so much, here's what bugs me:

1. "Slaves" who swing the conversation immediately to what they expect. You're a slave. Half the fun is me not caring what you want, or holding it over your head.

And you're single? Gee, what a surprise.

quote:

2. People without the critical thinking abilities to parse language, humor, sarcasm, etc... If you can't take a joke, don't go fuck yourself. Go kill yourself.

The above statement is arrogant. Seriously, if you don't like them just stop talking to them. It's the adult thing to do.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to Sweetlovingpain)

Post #: 13

RE: What Subs Don't Want - 9/26/2007 8:08:21 PM

amelliagrace

Posts: 1792
Joined: 8/4/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LATEXBABY64

how about when subs attack i seen that on animal planet i did

Thanks for that chuckle. LOL...I'm still laughing.

-grace

(in reply to LATEXBABY64)

Post #: 14

RE: What Subs Don't Want - 9/26/2007 8:09:39 PM

chellekitty

Posts: 3923
Joined: 3/27/2005
Status: offline

dammit...there is nothing clever left to say...so...umm yea...oh! i remember...whats wrong with salty people...everyone needs salt in their diet...in fact my last blood work up said my sodium levels were too low...so maybe i need to find a salty person to lick....

_____________________________

One thing I know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who will have sought and found how to serve. ~Albert Schweitzer

(in reply to TemptingNviceSub)

Post #: 15

RE: What Subs Don't Want - 9/26/2007 8:12:22 PM

chellekitty

Posts: 3923
Joined: 3/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Sweetlovingpain

Single? But I'm having a life-long love affair with the person I adore the most.

29 years with yourself does not count as a D/s or M/s relationship....sorry....

_____________________________

One thing I know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who will have sought and found how to serve. ~Albert Schweitzer

(in reply to Sweetlovingpain)

Post #: 16

RE: What Subs Don't Want - 9/26/2007 8:20:09 PM

Neala

Posts: 70
Joined: 8/1/2007
Status: offline

Ya know....I've liked what you've had to say. You're getting a lot of flack, but hats off to you. I agree with most of what you have said. I'm uncertain where a lot of people are coming from on this thread but I look forward to you (hopefully) posting more.

(in reply to Sweetlovingpain)

Post #: 17

RE: What Subs Don't Want - 9/26/2007 8:21:54 PM

Sweetlovingpain

Posts: 26
Joined: 2/13/2007
Status: offline

This is the one that finally put me over the edge. The accompanying blog then goes into detail about... not wanting guys older than 38. And I ask myself... why would any person worth a shit ever respond positively to this?

***i do have a picture WITH my head***
**When im ready i will send it**
**Yes my location moves as i am a travel nurse so when my job location moves so do i lol this will change as soon as i find my owner**
**No One Over 38 Please I will not reply**
**No One Over 38 Please I will not reply**
**No One Over 38 Please I will not reply**
**No One Over 38 Please I will not reply**
is that clear enough guys over 38

(in reply to Sweetlovingpain)

Post #: 18

RE: What Subs Don't Want - 9/26/2007 8:29:46 PM

amiciaN

Posts: 228
Joined: 1/20/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Sweetlovingpain

What subs don't want... is boring to read.

I understand they get heckled and harassed a lot, and that's why I make an effort to read through it to get to something meaningful, but many subs here have a three to one ratio of what they don't want to what they do. After seven months or so, I'd be a millionaire if I had a nickel for every paragraph of subs bitching about men that I've read. I wish I had that time back, so I could do something more productive, like piss on an ant hill, or heckle my mailman.

It's pretty much a downer. Why would anyone want to do anything with a salty, frowning person who wants to impress upon you their ability to complain first thing?

Since we always read what bugs subs so much, here's what bugs me:

1. "Slaves" who swing the conversation immediately to what they expect. You're a slave. Half the fun is me not caring what you want, or holding it over your head.

This can work for some, but it is also a favored tactic of abusers.

2. People without the critical thinking abilities to parse language, humor, sarcasm, etc... If you can't take a joke, don't go fuck yourself. Go kill yourself.

Has someone been listening to Foamy again???

3. peoplewho Type stuf like this n write back 2 e-mails with "ty" or "LOL"... L2engrish.

This I agree with for the most part, though lol-roflmao genre is ok with me. I really don't want to type *rolling on the floor laughing my ass off*.

4. Subs, slaves, any of 'em really, who over (wasted) time amount to be simple freeloaders who'll do anything for a roof over their heads. Get on welfare, your asses will sting less.

I dunno about this one... I mean come on, live-in nannies change dirty diapers for a roof over there heads AND demand cash too! The audacity!! Maybe they should all be spanked?

5. Vanilla chicks who flick their beans to BDSM porn until they decide to make a profile here and turn out to be, ouch, woefully vanilla. Go lie to some vanilla dude until he buys into it and leave the rest of us alone.

It sounds like you got one scoop of fudge ripple when you ordered a triple scoop death-by-chocolate hot fudge sundae. How about a banana split instead?

And here's a good lesson: The world is full of kinky people. It's not special.
How about simply "The world is full of people, each one of them unique and therefore 'special'. The lucky ones are kinky".

_____________________________

NChaka's amicia

I have never been lifted so high as when I kneel at His feet.

(in reply to Sweetlovingpain)

Post #: 19

RE: What Subs Don't Want - 9/26/2007 8:32:36 PM

truesub4u

Posts: 2949
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Sweetlovingpain

1. "Slaves" who swing the conversation immediately to what they expect. You're a slave. Half the fun is me not caring what you want, or holding it over your head.

Ok out of all this... and i've read it a few times to try to get an idea of your post. For the most part... it was a typical rant. No problem there, there's been a few on here to say the least. But this one ....and first comment of what bugs you....

How can you seriously not care what a slave wants or doesn't want if you are seeking to have any relationship with said slave? There's NO FUN if you do not care from the get go. From the get go if you do not care... why should said slave care anymore than you? I'm slightly interested on how you figure not caring is fun at all, let alone from the get go.

_____________________________

Wisdom is knowing what to do next, Skill is knowing how to do it, and Virtue is doing it.

(in reply to Sweetlovingpain)

Post #: 20

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