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talking to an owned sub online - 7/22/2005 4:27:42 PM   
klr57


Posts: 2
Joined: 6/10/2005
Status: offline 		I was writing to a sub here on line and ended a question with the word "slave" she wrote back saying she was blocking me because I used the word "slave" and to speak to her master if I had a problem. Was I wrong to use it? Should I appoligize to her Master? If I am blocked how do I appoligize to her?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: talking to an owned sub online - 7/22/2005 4:34:11 PM   
sub4hire


Posts: 6775
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

I was writing to a sub here on line and ended a question with the word "slave" she wrote back saying she was blocking me because I used the word "slave" and to speak to her master if I had a problem. Was I wrong to use it? Should I appoligize to her Master? If I am blocked how do I appoligize to her?


I don't know if you were wrong. If you had written me using that term. I would have written back...told you I was not a slave. Also you do not own me. So, use my name and if you don't know it then use my screen name.

I would think regardless it would be bad protocal to call someone slave or sub when you do not own them. People are human beings first and foremost. You should treat them as such.
I'd ignore it...if you're blocked you're right you cannot respond. Just take it as lesson learned.

(in reply to klr57)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: talking to an owned sub online - 7/22/2005 5:09:03 PM   
Kinkypupper


Posts: 713
Joined: 9/26/2004
From: Portland oregon
Status: offline 		My first comment is that to block you for ending a question with that word is a Little harsh.
Would be interested in seeing the "question" tho.

My answer.. forget it and move on..

_____________________________

Phil Moulton
A Sensual Touch
Locopony Racing
Portland Oregon

(in reply to klr57)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: talking to an owned sub online - 7/22/2005 8:46:48 PM   
EmeraldSlave2


Posts: 3645
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		It's bad manners to use anything but the specific name which has been afforded to you until you have reached a level of social comfort to relax into other forms of reference.

Even with "slave" in my screenname, it is polite to use the full name "EmeraldSlave2" or perhaps a shortened "ES2" until another name has been given.

Trust me, in real life it gets far too confusing with everyone shouting slave sir and master all the time.

(in reply to klr57)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: talking to an owned sub online - 7/22/2005 8:59:17 PM   
FangsNfeet


Posts: 3758
Joined: 12/3/2004
Status: offline 		Some ppl are just too damn picky. I wouldn't worry about messageing her nor her master but leave them in the past. The more you keep on, the more that adds up. With some ppl, I piss them off when I say "Hello." My best advice is for you to move on and not waist time with those two. You'll be happier and they'll be happier. Atleast on the bright side, you did get messaged back rather than just ignored and blocked without ever knowing it.

There are tons of BDSM as well as Gorean chat lines that go around booting tons of ppl because something isn't capped or uncapped or there lengo is there own special code that you just have to learn the hard way. It goes for all masters, slaves, and everthing inbetween.

If you just have to message an apology just send the breif message that it wasn't your intention to offend but only to learn and that they won't have to worry about being bothered by you again.

_____________________________

I'm Godzilla and you're Japan

(in reply to klr57)
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RE: talking to an owned sub online - 7/22/2005 9:36:11 PM   
BlkTallFullfig


Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: klr57
I was writing to a sub here on line and ended a question with the word "slave" she wrote back saying she was blocking me because I used the word "slave" and to speak to her master if I had a problem. Was I wrong to use it? Should I appoligize to her Master? If I am blocked how do I appoligize to her?
I wouldn't worry about apologizing to her since she's already determined she's offended and overreacting about it.
It's okay for her to express annoyance, and in that case an apology never hurts, but I think she took it a little harsher than necessary given this is a BDSM meeting place.. M

_____________________________

a.k.a. SexyBossyBBW
""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to klr57)
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RE: talking to an owned sub online - 7/22/2005 10:01:07 PM   
IronBear


Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline 		Like most have said, either write a short apology and move on or better still just take it as part of your learning experience. If you knew the Dom for some time then and only then I’d be writing. Generally anybody using the term slave to any slave in my collar and especially once they knew she was a Gorean Slave would be entitled to do so. If the comments were too demanding I’d expect her to ask you to email me and to give you my email address. After which time she could terminate the discussion but I’d feel blocking was harsh unless you were making a damned nuisance of yourself.

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to BlkTallFullfig)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: talking to an owned sub online - 7/22/2005 10:22:05 PM   
FelinePersuasion


Posts: 4792
Joined: 11/20/2004
Status: offline 		I wouldn't call anybody slave or address them in that way untill they have known you well enough to want to be called slave or indicated it was what they were to be called.Like emerald said. You use the nick name they have chosen to be called by, in most cases their screen name, untill other wise told diffrently.


She may identify as a slave, but she's not yours. Blocking someone for it was a lil over board. Sure. But it's generally a safe policy to just use screen names till told other wise.


If someone calls me a title or pet name and I don't know them or wish to be called so by them I state so. I simply say my names not_____ it's FelinePersuasion, Siamese or mrscowgirl please use my name.

(in reply to IronBear)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: talking to an owned sub online - 7/22/2005 10:52:50 PM   
junecleaver


Posts: 1145
Joined: 4/6/2005
Status: offline 		I think my question is why do you people care so much? Now if she was in your local scene or something like that I guess I could understand.

Personally I think it's obnoxious to end questions like that and completely unecessary. For me it's kind of like stamping a big TROLL on your forehead. I don't talk like that in RL and no one of my kink friends do either especially to people are not their Dominant/submissive partner.

(in reply to FelinePersuasion)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: talking to an owned sub online - 7/22/2005 11:01:40 PM   
SweetDommes


Posts: 3313
Joined: 10/5/2004
Status: offline 		He said that he ended the question with the word slave, not that he called her one. Yeah, if he called her one, that was a bit out of line, but to block him like that is a bit extreme for something that is pretty minor, IMO.

However, I wouldn't sweat it - life goes on.

(in reply to junecleaver)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: talking to an owned sub online - 7/22/2005 11:55:40 PM   
perverseangelic


Posts: 2625
Joined: 2/2/2004
From: Davis, Ca
Status: offline 		I get stuff like this--
"how are you, slave?"

all the time.

It bothers me, but I politely tell them I am not a slave and would prefer not to be refered to by any diminuative.

It's the way they deal with the second statment, not my initial impression of the first, that determines whether or not we talk more.


_____________________________

~in the begining it is always dark~

(in reply to SweetDommes)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: talking to an owned sub online - 7/23/2005 5:58:27 AM   
smilezz


Posts: 2156
Joined: 6/18/2004
Status: offline 		I get that all the time too...i laugh it off and respond: why yes i am a slave...........just not YOUR slave. Then i happen to add: Hey, my name is smilezz, i don't play the online bullshit...if you still want to talk, great! i very much enjoy speaking with like-minded individuals...if not....was nice speaking with you...have a great day!

Life is just so much easier when you don't act like an ass >smirks<

Happy Saturday y'all...

~smilezz~

_____________________________

=It's not my fault that when I was a baby I was dropped in a box of Glitter & I have been shinin' ever since=

�*:-.,_,.-:* � �*:-.,_,.-:* � �*:-.,_,.-:* � �*:-.,_,-:* �

(in reply to klr57)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: talking to an owned sub online - 7/23/2005 2:57:13 PM   
MizSuz


Posts: 1881
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: klr57

I was writing to a sub here on line and ended a question with the word "slave" she wrote back saying she was blocking me because I used the word "slave" and to speak to her master if I had a problem. Was I wrong to use it? Should I appoligize to her Master? If I am blocked how do I appoligize to her?



It's not about protocol, to my mind, as much as it is about the very same manners you learned in kindergarten. Of course many people want a 'take charge' kind of dominant, but until you have been given leave (also reads 'permission') to conduct yourself as same then it's as presumptuous as calling a woman you just met 'honey' or 'sweety.'

My rule of thumb is we are all human beings first. Getting to know someone as a human is challenging enough, why complicate it by trying to add protocols, nicknames and roles before you've gotten to know the person?

Besides, I'm a HUGE fan of being asked to dominate someone - even better to beg (when I've given them leave to conduct themself that way). My dominance is precious, I don't go throwing it at anyone who might be on the same page as me. Domination can be a lot of work. It has to be earned.




_____________________________

“The more you love, the more you can love—and the more intensely you love. Nor is there any limit on how many you can love. If a person had time enough, he could love all of that majority who are decent and just.”
- Robert Heinlein

(in reply to klr57)
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RE: talking to an owned sub online - 7/23/2005 3:41:31 PM   
lovingmaster45


Posts: 261
Joined: 9/16/2004
Status: offline 		You demonstrated a lack of protocol; she demonstrated a lack of manners.

But what the hell, the tow of you should not have been communicating anyway. She is OWNED.

_____________________________

Master Jerry


(in reply to MizSuz)
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RE: talking to an owned sub online - 7/23/2005 4:10:09 PM   
perverseangelic


Posts: 2625
Joined: 2/2/2004
From: Davis, Ca
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lovingmaster45

You demonstrated a lack of protocol; she demonstrated a lack of manners.

But what the hell, the tow of you should not have been communicating anyway. She is OWNED.


Why on earth not? I am as well, but contact is welcome. I think that the appropriateness of contact depends on the profile. It's obvious she wasn't offended by the contact itself.

Honestly, too, I don't see her as being rude. It doesn't seem that she told him off, simply said that she didn't want to be addressed that way. ~shrug~

_____________________________

~in the begining it is always dark~

(in reply to lovingmaster45)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: talking to an owned sub online - 7/23/2005 6:16:25 PM   
darkinshadows


Posts: 4145
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: UK
Status: offline
And because shes owned she can't correspond?

Wow - a bit spooky, but hey.

To the OP - something that hasnt come up - is the way I have seen alot(not all) slaves speak.

The Op doesn't mention how she addressed herself. Now, of course, I am not in agreement of calling one Dom calling another Doms property 'slave' - however, I can see how it could be a miscommunication, depending on her written style. Anyway, it could be - that this slave addressed herself as 'this slave' ie - 'this slave thanks you'.... or ' this slave must do her Masters bidding'... in which case, it could be very easy to misunderstand the words that should be used between each other.

There is no set protocol, lovingmaster, except the one laid out by the individuals involved. And if she and her Master are not mature enough to allow her the ability to say it is inappropriate, I would suggest that the OP has not lost anything of importance.

Peace and Love

_____________________________
.dark.



...i surrender to gravity and the unknown...

(in reply to lovingmaster45)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: talking to an owned sub online - 7/23/2005 6:46:22 PM   
imtempting


Posts: 1280
Joined: 2/11/2005
Status: offline 		Can you give us the question that you asked? And maybe a sentance or two before it so we can see the context of how the conversation was going..

(in reply to klr57)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: talking to an owned sub online - 7/23/2005 7:04:34 PM   
Mylee


Posts: 217
Joined: 6/19/2005
Status: offline 		I get messages almost daily calling me slave, I laugh it off to, I wonder if sometimes we take ourselves a little to seriously, there's no reason really to get all huffy about someone calling me a slave, I know my place to my Master, slave to Him or not, I just dont find being called slave offensive, *shrugs* but that's just me..

you've already posted here, she may read this then feel badly herself for acting harshly, I say live, learn then let go, owhat will offend one person will warm the heart of another, and in the mean time, since calling unknown women slave seems to offend, I wouldnt use that term unless your asked otherwise to...

Smile, not all of us will condem you for your first attempts at being friendly

~my'lee

(in reply to imtempting)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: talking to an owned sub online - 7/23/2005 7:49:21 PM   
Phoenixandnika


Posts: 748
Joined: 4/22/2005
From: Aberdeen Maryland
Status: offline
quote:

I was writing to a sub here on line and ended a question with the word "slave" she wrote back saying she was blocking me because I used the word "slave" and to speak to her master if I had a problem. Was I wrong to use it? Should I appoligize to her Master? If I am blocked how do I appoligize to her?


I think her reaction was a tad extreme,however; if she was doing as ordered by her Owner then that is his issue. I also think that it would depened on the question you asked when you used the term.

Some bottoms are offended when theya re called slaves. I am the opposite i feel rather insulted when called a subbie. There is a difference between a submissive and a slave, I think before using either term people need to relize that that difference is before using either.

loving master,

This site is NOT just about meeting for a fling or so unowned slaves or submissives can find Dominates, or so Dominates can find submissives or slaves to take as Theirs its about staying in touch with others of the lifestyle. About seeing that there are others out there who think and feel the same way as me, or you.



I have a simple question to your statement. Who are you to judge what another dominate allows of his, weither she be submissive or slave? I am an owned slave. Yes slave and my Master allows me correspond on this forum among several others with others within the lifestyle. Am I looking for a nother Master or Mistress. No, however; as my Owner he encourages me to interact with others within the lifestyle. Why? Simple answer is because as my Owner he sees it as approriate for me. Healthy for me to interact with others within the lifestyle both in real life and online.

I have meet a couple of Dominates and slaves from this community that both my Master and I have meet in real life from here. I am proud to call them my friends and to even insinuate that its wrong to do so simply because I am Owned, I say bah.You are not my Owner, or this girls Owner, so who are you to say what she should or should not be doing?

If you truly have issues with someone being Owned then do NOT messaage an owned submissive or slave. If you do not wish your slave or submissive to corresspond with others that is your choice as her Owner, but not every Dominate is the same just as every slave or submissive is not the same.

Here I thought this lifestyle was about tolerance.

nikaPhoenix










< Message edited by Phoenixandnika -- 7/23/2005 7:56:21 PM >

_____________________________

"Life is neither a bed of roses nor a carpet of thorns, it's just what you make of it."



(in reply to Mylee)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: talking to an owned sub online - 7/24/2005 3:14:54 AM   
BeachMystress


Posts: 2156
Joined: 4/3/2004
From: Naples Island- Long Beach CA - Southern California
Status: offline
It is best to never refer to someone else's sub (or an unowned one for that matter) as slave, pet, bitch, slut, dear or anything other than their stated name/ID. You don't have the position in their life to have the right to refer to them as such. While you may occasionally find someone who responds positively to such, it is more likely that you will offend.

As you are blocked, chalk this one up to experience. You know better for next time.

_____________________________

Beach Mystress
*Do not threaten the weak. Intimidate the strong. ~ Stevenson*
http://beachmystress.jigsy.com
http://www.flickr.com/photos/beachmystress/

(in reply to klr57)
Profile   Post #: 20
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