When should one cut all ties?

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

When should one cut all ties?

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master >> When should one cut all ties?

Page: [1] 2 3 next > >>

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

When should one cut all ties? - 9/27/2007 1:16:55 PM

girlygurl

Posts: 6973
Joined: 8/5/2007
From: in the palms of His hands
Status: offline

OK, so here’s the deal. Master and slave have a relationship that is nothing less than tumultuous. Master has released slave not once but twice in less than a year. The last “release” came after slave threw a fit due to choices Master made with regard to another sub. Shortly after release, ex-slave sends message to ex-Master and his sub that she has an infection and has been tested for STD’s, and she “suggests” they get tested. ex-slave states she will let them know what the test results are. Time passes…. sub asks slave “did you get the results back from your test?” slave responds, “have you been tested yet?” again, sub asked, “did you get the results back from your test?” and again slave says, “have you been tested yet?” sub communicates the obvious game slave is playing (cause she’s pissed at ex-Master) and sub removes herself from said game. slave proceeds to communicate in so many words that she is not going to tell ex-Master or sub what her test results are. AND (with a little prodding) slave fesses up that she’s playing ex-Master and this “getting tested” crap is all a game!

Of course there’s lots of detail that’s been left out, as they are sure to bore you all. Bottom line….. slave is contacting ex-Master again. She’s depressed, needs a friend??? Who knows…. Question. Where does one draw the line when playing the part of a concerned friend? Should the sub keep her mouth shut and not saying anything to Master of her feelings of this “trouble maker” ex-slave?

_____________________________

i see You

happily forever one

Post #: 1

RE: When should one cut all ties? - 9/27/2007 1:24:43 PM

SirCache

Posts: 159
Joined: 3/26/2005
Status: offline

It is the responsiblity of any person to alert their partners to someone who could represent a danger to the relationship. Making light or joking about something like an STD, trying to use it to manipulte or hurt people... no one should be involved with that person. It is in his best interest to know what kind of person this ex-slave is, because it could come back to harm your relationship with him.

(in reply to girlygurl)

Post #: 2

RE: When should one cut all ties? - 9/27/2007 1:29:13 PM

girlygurl

Posts: 6973
Joined: 8/5/2007
From: in the palms of His hands
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SirCache

It is the responsiblity of any person to alert their partners to someone who could represent a danger to the relationship. Making light or joking about something like an STD, trying to use it to manipulte or hurt people... no one should be involved with that person. It is in his best interest to know what kind of person this ex-slave is, because it could come back to harm your relationship with him.

Thank you SirCache, I'll do the right thing by everyone.

_____________________________

i see You

happily forever one

(in reply to SirCache)

Post #: 3

RE: When should one cut all ties? - 9/27/2007 1:30:30 PM

HottLicks

Posts: 174
Joined: 9/21/2007
Status: offline

If it isn't clear to Master what's going on at this point, your input isn't going to do anything but involve you further and that is an endless game. Sit back... watch and determine what is best for you and let Master take care of the problem.

(in reply to SirCache)

Post #: 4

RE: When should one cut all ties? - 9/27/2007 1:31:19 PM

toservez

Posts: 1733
Joined: 9/7/2006
From: All over now in Minnesota
Status: offline

I will take out the specific game the ex is playing as that can color the response just in itself.

People have responsibility that they can only prioritize that is a combination brain and heart. Obviously most of us have a family, friend then strangers approach to life. If a person is causing problems to another person let alone one that is above the food chain then that would be enough to shut down the contact.

Friendship is a two way street. If your friend has no consideration for you and your relationship how much of a friend is she really. To use a cliché you can lead a horse to water but cannot make it drink. If you gave taken your friend to the water and she refuses to drink then you have to step back, otherwise it almost becomes really about you and your issues then her.

_____________________________

I am sorry I do not fit Webster's defintion of a slave but thankfully my Master is not Webster.

"Anything that contradicts experience and logic should be abandoned." - H.H. The 14th Dalai Lama

(in reply to girlygurl)

Post #: 5

RE: When should one cut all ties? - 9/27/2007 2:24:28 PM

kyraofMists

Posts: 3292
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline

In my relationship, I am not allowed to keep things from him; thoughts and opinions are to be expressed in constructive ways. I would ask permission to share my opinion on the subject with him. If he wants to hear it, he will say yes and if he doesn't he will say no. That gives him the decision on whether to share my opinion or not.

Knight's Kyra

_____________________________

"Passion... it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us... passion rules us all. And we obey..." ~Angelus

(in reply to girlygurl)

Post #: 6

RE: When should one cut all ties? - 9/27/2007 2:32:13 PM

celticlord2112

Posts: 5732
Status: offline

Anyone who would play a "game" by hinting at STDs needs to be sent home to momma until he/she grows up.

I would cut ties with the slave immediately. That sort of negativity I do not need in my life. If the dominant has a problem with that, cut ties with him as well.

_____________________________

(in reply to girlygurl)

Post #: 7

RE: When should one cut all ties? - 9/27/2007 2:36:17 PM

Areflectionofyou

Posts: 258
Joined: 4/4/2006
Status: offline

ask respectfully to talk to him about your concerns

(in reply to girlygurl)

Post #: 8

RE: When should one cut all ties? - 9/27/2007 2:48:49 PM

HottLicks

Posts: 174
Joined: 9/21/2007
Status: offline

I just re-read the first post. kyraofMist is right on the mark. You have to tell your Master what is going on and what you know that he doesn't know, in the manner he has chosen for you to approch him with such things. So if I sounded like I was side stepping that, forgive me please. I have trouble reading the print because of my eyes and sometimes miss things and I think I concluded that your Master knew.

Good luck to you!

(in reply to Areflectionofyou)

Post #: 9

RE: When should one cut all ties? - 9/27/2007 2:52:50 PM

HottLicks

Posts: 174
Joined: 9/21/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: celticlord2112

Anyone who would play a "game" by hinting at STDs needs to be sent home to momma until he/she grows up.

I would cut ties with the slave immediately. That sort of negativity I do not need in my life. If the dominant has a problem with that, cut ties with him as well.

Oh how I can relate to this! Getting older has proven that I get very cranky about drama and childish games and I can divorce anyone in life who brings it! Life was meant to be lived and drama constipates good ol fashioned living!

(in reply to celticlord2112)

Post #: 10

RE: When should one cut all ties? - 9/27/2007 4:26:40 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

What servez said :)

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to HottLicks)

Post #: 11

RE: When should one cut all ties? - 9/27/2007 4:27:32 PM

MrDiscipline44

Posts: 1776
Joined: 1/5/2005
Status: offline

I would've cut ties with the cunt the first time I released her. Him taking her back the second time was inviting the drama. Block the bitches emails and move on with life.

_____________________________

If you love somebody, you have to be willing to break them.

Those who can, do. Those who can't, teach.

Have you slapped your slave today?

(in reply to girlygurl)

Post #: 12

RE: When should one cut all ties? - 9/27/2007 6:16:25 PM

Celeste43

Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
Status: offline

Get tested yourself. Why on earth would you believe her either way. And tell the M that his ex said she has a STD and thinks he should be tested. Hell, make an appt for both of you. Can you believe her when she says she wasn't with anybody else? I wouldn't. If he does, that tells you something about his judgment. Of course he chose her to begin with and that tells you a lot about his judgment. Because I doubt that she was the poster child for a mature adult at any time in their relationship.

But I wouldn't have gotten involved with someone who didn't volunteer to get tested after getting out of an old relationship. Nor would I have considered getting into anything with him unless we were both tested.

She may or may not have a std, you can't trust her either way. But the responsibility for your health is yours and not hers.

(in reply to MrDiscipline44)

Post #: 13

RE: When should one cut all ties? - 9/27/2007 6:42:53 PM

RRafe

Posts: 2060
Joined: 8/29/2007
Status: offline

If someone is beating you with a stick-the best way to stop it is to take it away, and break it over thier head.

_____________________________

I seem to be some wierd combination of Ren and Stimpy

(in reply to girlygurl)

Post #: 14

RE: When should one cut all ties? - 9/27/2007 7:26:36 PM

Totalmaster4you

Posts: 1359
Joined: 6/19/2006
Status: offline

Greetings girl,

I understand your dilemma but part of the answer is in the dynamic you have with your Dominant. you say you are a submissive which allows more leeway than a slave has. That's why the differing labels. A slave would understand that the decision of what to do should be in the hands of the Master. Also a slave is not allowed to keep any secrets or shade the presentation of the facts. In that way the Master has all the information to make the best decision for himself and his "family".

For example you shouldn't present the information as you did here. Just give him the basic information such as xxxx was in contact with you and said xxxx later when you pressed her for the truth she said xxxxx. I should have told you immeadiately but I didn't believe her/trust her/upset you etc.

And for the future you need to evaluate how your Dominant handles the situation. If he continues to invite drama into your "families" life you have to decide if you want to have that in your life.
I wish you well,
TM4Y

_____________________________

Sometime ago I decided it was time to change my nic. However I didn't wish to disconnect from my original profile. Since then I've signed Touch your mind (TYM or Tym). Opinions in my posts should be taken as my opinion and my opinion only.

(in reply to girlygurl)

Post #: 15

RE: When should one cut all ties? - 9/27/2007 7:28:06 PM

KnightofMists

Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: girlygurl

Time passes…. sub asks slave “did you get the results back from your test?” slave responds, “have you been tested yet?” again, sub asked, “did you get the results back from your test?” and again slave says, “have you been tested yet?” sub communicates the obvious game slave is playing (cause she’s pissed at ex-Master) and sub removes herself from said game. slave proceeds to communicate in so many words that she is not going to tell ex-Master or sub what her test results are. AND (with a little prodding) slave fesses up that she’s playing ex-Master and this “getting tested” crap is all a game!

mmmmmmmm sub should of said... "yes tested postive".... and then ask..."did you get the results back from your test?"

me thinks slave would of been running to get test *w*

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to girlygurl)

Post #: 16

RE: When should one cut all ties? - 9/27/2007 7:47:59 PM

slaveluci

Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: girlygurl
Where does one draw the line when playing the part of a concerned friend? Should the sub keep her mouth shut and not saying anything to Master of her feelings of this “trouble maker” ex-slave?

If my Master wasn't savvy enough to see this bullshit for what it is, I wouldn't be with Him. He wouldn't be so easily played by such a needy little twit. He wouldn't give someone like that the time of day. But....with all that said, if I were this sub, I would ask for permission to speak honestly with Master about my feelings towards the "trouble maker." He would want to hear what I had to say but He would act in the manner that He felt best. IF He would ever find Himself in such a crazy situation which I don't think He would

. He won't tolerate such drama in His life................luci

_____________________________

To choose a good book, look in an inquisitor’s prohibited list. ~John Aikin

(in reply to girlygurl)

Post #: 17

RE: When should one cut all ties? - 9/27/2007 8:57:01 PM

girlygurl

Posts: 6973
Joined: 8/5/2007
From: in the palms of His hands
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Totalmaster4you
And for the future you need to evaluate how your Dominant handles the situation. If he continues to invite drama into your "families" life you have to decide if you want to have that in your life.
I wish you well,
TM4Y

You're right Totalmaster, and I've stated my views on the situation and will stick by them! I suppose if there were some emotional ties to this slave I would feel bad for her and the situation she's created for herself, but as it stands, I don't give a hoot! And, I've expressed this to my Sir and the fact that I will not welcome her back in to my life. Ummmm... yea, who needs friends like that?

_____________________________

i see You

happily forever one

(in reply to Totalmaster4you)

Post #: 18

RE: When should one cut all ties? - 9/28/2007 9:42:10 AM

Koala

Posts: 63
Joined: 5/5/2007
Status: offline

Get tested, and let the other person know the results. Then block them from all contact.

(in reply to girlygurl)

Post #: 19

RE: When should one cut all ties? - 9/28/2007 10:15:18 AM

LadyHugs

Posts: 2299
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

Dear girlygurl, Ladies and Gentlemen;

It would not hurt to be tested for STD's and the like. It would be a peace of mind that it would be a factual find instead of a part of the puppet on a string which the ex-slave manipulates everybody with.

I agree with posts saying that STDs are no laughing matter and serious enough to check on your own anyway, especially when so many STDs are transmitted and or carried with few symptoms.
If and when the health department asks about the need for one--it can be pointed back to the ex-slave who felt something was wrong but hasn't gotten tested for one reason or another--to be sure --test for your peace of mind. Prank or not--its still a good idea, especially with the height of STD transmissions these days.

Testing is not an admission of guilt and or being 'loose' in the sheets--however, past partners in those sheets might have had sexually transmitted issues. Men can carry and not show signs so do women, as some STD's hitch a ride and thrive.

Just some thoughts.

Respectfully submitted for consideration,
Lady Hugs

(in reply to girlygurl)

Post #: 20

Page: [1] 2 3 next > >>

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master >> When should one cut all ties?

Page: [1] 2 3 next > >>

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.095