RE: What's a slave to do?

RE: What's a slave to do? (Full Version)

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onlyHisgirl -> RE: What's a slave to do? (10/1/2007 8:01:06 PM)
Wait, a minute...did i typo somewhere?!?! Hell, no it hasn't been 3 years...i would have kicked His ass! It's been almost only like 7 months!!!!! But in this short amount of time...i feel like i've been in this relationship for much much much longer....where is the 3 years coming up? Sorry for more confusion ya'll, but thank Y/you for the advice, comments, etc...i'm doing ok. i'm just going to "hang out" on the message boards and keep in contact with some "friends" i've made on here for a while until i feel stronger about myself. i don't think i would be a good submissive to the next Dom if i didn't care about myself as much as Him... :-) have a GREAT Tuesday everyO/one

TakenPet -> RE: What's a slave to do? (10/1/2007 11:49:38 PM)
There has to be trust to be in a relationship. As a Master does he always have to share? No. But to so blatently lie is not cool. If there is no trust how can there be total submission? You cannot submit to someone you can't trust because without trust there is no sense of fulfillment or safety. Good luck to your friend

SixFootMaster -> RE: What's a slave to do? (10/2/2007 12:40:24 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: bandit25 Sorry, I don't buy that. Men and women are either monogomous or they aren't. Again, it's genderless. Many women are unrestrained in their passion for men. I don't consider them the best women or the worst women. Or the arrangement would last as long as the slave was satisfied. You missed the thread of conversation - in this context DMF and I are refering to "the best at attraction". Nowhere did I mention anything about gender bias. Slaves, however, will usually persist until they can not do so any longer - a danger of the mindset and psychology?

SixFootMaster -> RE: What's a slave to do? (10/2/2007 12:52:04 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Kalista07 ... snip... Currently, i truly feel like the luckiest person alive. i mean how many men (Dom's or not) do You know that when they've spent all night with a woman who appears to be sad and stuff, rather than getting pissed off at her inability to tell them what's going on, just grows quiet and silently waits... How many men do You know that would've just held a girl while she cried about the fact that she is angry with herself for allowing the rape to continue to affect her? ... snip ... I would hope more men would, then wouldn't. I know that I've done as much for friends , and for girls in my care, and I would think that any sane, loving man would.

SixFootMaster -> RE: What's a slave to do? (10/2/2007 12:55:15 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: devotedsylph quote: ORIGINAL: SixFootMaster The best men are usually not monogamous because they have no need or desire to be. They are unrestrained in their passion for women, and as such see no reason why they should confine their pleasure to one. That said, if that man finds a uniquely pleasurable and delightful slave or submissive that satisfies their every desire, they may choose by their own will to be monogamous with that person - however such an arrangement would only last for as long as the he was satisfied. I have to completely disagree with you on this. A man isn't better or worse because he chooses monogamy. It sounds to me that if a man's passion is "unrestrained", then it's a lack of self control on HIS part. sylph Sylph - remember that conversational thread is about the men best at attracting women, not "best" under any other criteria. Likewise, I did point out that he may choose to control himself for the right girl, even if he isn't inherently monogamous.

breatheasone -> RE: What's a slave to do? (10/2/2007 1:00:16 AM)
quote: The best men are usually not monogamous because they have no need or desire to be. This is the biggest load of crap I have ever heard ....wow

ededwards -> RE: What's a slave to do? (10/2/2007 1:02:43 AM)
quote: i know that's silly because we're long distance and we have never me I do not think it is silly that you have become attatched nor is it silly that you think it is a relationship both things are true. I do think it is silly that you call it cheating. The more I hear about these long distance cyber relatioships the less I like. I do not think they are a good idea. I am sympathetic to your situation. Maybe you could find a stable couple in the lifestyle to mentor you and assist you in finding a real M. I would recommend you approach the process like a vanilla relationship first to see if your M has any interest in you as a person. Set the bar high if a person has no interest in finding out who you are then it will be difficult to find respect within that dynamic. I cut and pasted this quote from a collarme journal I was reading and thought it said it all for me. Intelligence is the greatest turn on. excitement and enthusiasm is arousing. Desperation and impatience is not. *In order to be valued you must value yourself. Good luck

MsLilac -> RE: What's a slave to do? (10/2/2007 3:25:24 AM)
Okay, I just want to address the ‘hypothesis’ that mean aren’t faithful or monogamous creatures by ‘nature’ - what a crock! I have found that excuse used often by men to support and justify their philandering ways. Monogamy/poly/cheating is genderless. And no - there is no ‘one size fits all’. Some people are poly ‘naturally’, some are monogamous. Both men and women have the ability to be faithful and the ability to cheat. It is this kind of nonsense that has some vulnerable women (and men) believing that they have to put up with this kind of behaviour, because some dudes (and dudettes) use highly flawed and biased pop psych as an excuse for not being able to keep their zips shut. There are men who have great skills of attraction and are monogamous/poly and faithful. I have seen plenty of “best” men practice faithful monogamy. Using the same kind of narrow logic, I could say that women are not naturally monogamous creatures either, as they are continually approached by these glorified ‘hunters’, and after several approaches she is bound to get plenty of better offers than the current/previous one. Considering in this logic she gets more approaches of attraction than men do, she should be less faithful, and have more suitors on the go - and more ’naturally’ akin to poly, so she can play her odds. So there we have it, all women are not naturally monogamous. For women, selection is a skill, and if a man wants a women who is not using her skills of selection, he will have to give up a lot of things that excite him also (oh my, like stop exercising his glorified ‘hunting’ skills maybe, unless he gets really, REALLY lucky, and finds prey stupid enough to put up with it). It is an all encompassing ‘rule’, that women will still be approached whilst current ’prey‘, by other hunters - as she has proved her skills of attraction and selection by simply being attached. The current hunter will have to work incredibly hard to keep her away from other hunters, and stay extremely focused if he wishes to keep his current prey away from other hunters (as they are all looming upon the Serengeti horizon). A general rule of thumb is monogamy and faithfullness is attractive, thus he will have to be that to keep his prey happy. So this passive prey item has it made really, doesn’t she? So, with all the time spent trying to keep prey happy, and away from other hunters, said hunter will have little time to exercise his own hunting skills once he has caught prey. But it’s all fine and dandy, as she is woman, a passive vessel being dictated to by evolution - it is fine to cuckold him without his permission. You men, are, after all, are simply selectees of women - a mere choice. 'Tis a horrible 'fact', but it's undeniable. all said with tongue firmly placed in cheek Seriously though, do you not see where these kind of narrow ‘arguments’ are flawed? I will address the OP in another post.

MsLilac -> RE: What's a slave to do? (10/2/2007 5:38:12 AM)
I understand your intent with the OP, as to throw us off the scent that this friend might be you. You have no reason to feel ashamed, : ). No, you shouldn’t be a doormat at all, there is no excuse for someone lying to you. But I noted you said that you are not ready for/can’t have a real time D/s relationships, and he physically sessioned with the other lady real time? Which would suggest he is looking for more than just online. I really, really hate to sound harsh here cause I can see that you are hurting (and please correct me if I am wrong), but it sounds like he had given up on anything r/t with you, whilst searching for other r/t opportunities - but - keeping/downgrading you to a willing porn outlet, which you happily participated in. I am not saying it was right what he did (to be honest, the he sounds like a prize idiot in how you describe him), but if you both have differing expectations of the relationship, there will be problems. I can say with some experience that online relationships can be intense, they feel like the ‘real’ thing, but (and this is also with experience) at the very best an online relationship is the equivalent of the first 1 or 2 months of dating, no matter how long the online process has been dragged on for. Online is a great way to sustain a LDR where people have met, and continually meet r/t, but for genuinely understanding a person (from more than just their words), there is no substitute. Things change to a whole new level when you meet someone, all that grounding you thought you made online - it doesn’t mean much when getting to know someone offline. In terms of real time, you would of realised if this man was consistent and truthful. You would have been able to see him in all his faults and glories, rather than just living the relationship through his interpretation of himself. You say you feel you cannot live a r/t D/s relationship, but I feel you will be constantly unfulfilled and come across a lot of men like this if you don’t take that plunge. You will find that a lot of men who are happy with online relationships only, are so for a reason; for example, they are married, attached, don’t want to let anyone ‘in’, or living in a fantasy world. I don’t understand how having an extremely vanilla career stops you having a r/t relationship. My men and I have vanilla careers and live in a ‘respectable’ place. But what we do is behind closed doors, it is private. But, you do what is best for you right now, and chalk this dude up to experience. I hope you find someone who makes you happy. Best of luck.

MissSCD -> RE: What's a slave to do? (10/2/2007 5:43:05 AM)
I thought I put some strange things on this forum, but this one may get the award for most rediculous I have seen so far. If you cannot respond to that person, don't. I would not copy and paste something someone else has written in this forum. It is just wrong. Regards, MissSCD

OsideGirl -> RE: What's a slave to do? (10/2/2007 7:29:26 AM)
We're in this lifestyle (for lack of a better word) because it makes us happy. If we're unhappy, we need to take steps to get to happy. I'm always amazed at people that stay in miserable situations simply because they're submissive and somehow feel that it's part of their role. I have one life, I plan on enjoying it.

SixFootMaster -> RE: What's a slave to do? (10/2/2007 2:37:45 PM)
I'm not sure what you're all disagreeing about. It's somewhat sad but unsurprising that a simple comment can be mistaken by so many people at once, even after further clarification. I'll walk you through it. First, we're talking about the men who are best at attracting women. We are not talking about all men, nor are we talking about men who are "the best" by any other criteria - faithfulness, dominance, intuition and so on. This category of man is generally, by nature, polyarmorous. I'm confident in that, at least, you will agree. They are, again in general, experienced with a variety of women, and have learned through practice how best to attract and seduce them. While every woman is different there are commonalities. Not every polyarmorous man is a serial offender, I'd say the split is close to 50/50 between those who genuinely care about each partner they are with, and those that simply take what they want and enjoy it and move on. This doesn't change the fact that experience and practice trumps intuition and talent every - or nearly every - time. Generalities are dangerous to make, but they are useful heuristics. There are always exceptions to the rule.

devotedsylph -> RE: What's a slave to do? (10/2/2007 6:02:03 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: onlyHisgirl Wait, a minute...did i typo somewhere?!?! Hell, no it hasn't been 3 years...i would have kicked His ass! It's been almost only like 7 months!!!!! But in this short amount of time...i feel like i've been in this relationship for much much much longer....where is the 3 years coming up? Sorry for more confusion ya'll, but thank Y/you for the advice, comments, etc...i'm doing ok. i'm just going to "hang out" on the message boards and keep in contact with some "friends" i've made on here for a while until i feel stronger about myself. i don't think i would be a good submissive to the next Dom if i didn't care about myself as much as Him... :-) have a GREAT Tuesday everyO/one I misread the original post. I took 'she has been into this for 3 years' to mean with that dom specifically. Oops :) 7 months is still a good chunk of time to decide if you want to meet someone or not.

onlyHisgirl -> RE: What's a slave to do? (10/2/2007 11:34:54 PM)
Oh, i wanted to meet Him all right...He was supposed to fly out at 3 months but "work wouldn't let Him have the time off". Then He was supposed to relocate but....yeah. All this time i'm supposed to stay away from other guys. He wanted me to give up all my guy friends that i've had for years and are like my brothers. Whatever. i've been talking to a lot of good people on here[:)] and my friends at school are being very supportive. i just felt so dumb and right now that's not a good thing because i'm taking a really hard course and i have a mid-term on Thursday [&o] !!!! Have a great Wednesday, everyO/one [:D]

ddthrill -> RE: What's a slave to do? (10/3/2007 6:29:47 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SixFootMaster The best men are usually not monogamous because they have no need or desire to be. They are unrestrained in their passion for women, and as such see no reason why they should confine their pleasure to one. That said, if that man finds a uniquely pleasurable and delightful slave or submissive that satisfies their every desire, they may choose by their own will to be monogamous with that person - however such an arrangement would only last for as long as the he was satisfied. Got a bridge to sell mister?

sweetcreeangel -> RE: What's a slave to do? (10/3/2007 7:50:58 PM)
trust trust and more trust regredless of who or what is happening with out trust you have nothing thats just my 2 cents

SixFootMaster -> RE: What's a slave to do? (10/3/2007 9:55:05 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ddthrill quote: ORIGINAL: SixFootMaster The best men are usually not monogamous because they have no need or desire to be. They are unrestrained in their passion for women, and as such see no reason why they should confine their pleasure to one. That said, if that man finds a uniquely pleasurable and delightful slave or submissive that satisfies their every desire, they may choose by their own will to be monogamous with that person - however such an arrangement would only last for as long as the he was satisfied. Got a bridge to sell mister? Another brat that can't be bothered to read the preceding conversation.

trusting -> RE: What's a slave to do? (10/3/2007 11:00:51 PM)
i cannot help out too much here... i was never one to be an online sub to anyone. if this Dom is so honest in what he is saying about himself and his feelings for you are genuine then he would make an effort to meet you. falling in love online (in my opinion) is very possible, but you may want to be very cautious as to who you are dealng with. there are many that abuse subs over the Internet for their pleasure... they will tell you whatever you need to hear, giving you the hope of meeting in person only to realize that they are not who they claim to be.

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