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RE: Dommes And Body Image - 10/2/2007 12:19:08 AM

DarkLovelyDomme

Posts: 43
Joined: 8/29/2007
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Growing up, I had sort of the opposite issue as most people on the forum: I wanted desperately to GAIN weight. (To this day, my family tut tuts and suggests I put on an extra 20lbs whenever I go home to visit.) Developed a lot of unhealthy eating habits in an attempt to pack on the pounds that I'm still working to correct.

These days, I'd say I'm quite comfortable with myself. My figure might not be the most classically feminine, but I feel that I know what clothing/lingerie is most flattering to it. Work with what you've got! There's no point being sad over your current bod: in twenty or thirty years, you might be dying to have it back again, so enjoy it now!

(in reply to PsyVamp)

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RE: Dommes And Body Image - 10/2/2007 1:51:01 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SweetDommes

Pact - I have to say, love the new pic.

Something else that women need to do - learn how to take a compliment. I remember hearing people complain about this way before I started getting compliments. When someone says you look wonderful, don't reply with "oh, this old thing" or "my hair just looks awful" or anythign like that - a smile and "thank you" is the way to go. Fortunately, I had mostly learned this lesson by the time I started getting compliments lol I may not agree with their opinion at the time, but they don't want to hear about that. I keep getting compliments, and they dont' feel like their opinion is being dismissed - it's win/win all around.

SweetDommes, thank you very much for the compliment. I was lucky enough to have the dungeon space for a while to do a private photo shoot, and that was a lot of fun.

I have to agree with what you said about taking compliments, too. Sometimes, though it might not be the first response that's thought of, it can make a person feel good just to say thank you.

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RE: Dommes And Body Image - 10/2/2007 9:14:24 PM

ocilla

Posts: 1764
Joined: 6/12/2007
Status: offline

http://www.bodypositive.com/

This is an amazing resource....a friend helped found it and I can't recommend it enough.

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Ocilla

Nature is not a place to visit. It is home.
~ Gary Snyder

It takes a kinky village...

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RE: Dommes And Body Image - 10/2/2007 11:29:21 PM

Aimtoplease101

Posts: 319
Joined: 2/8/2006
From: San Diego, California
Status: offline

This isn't a new thought, but I figured I'd chime in anyway.

People can be very cruel and hurtful when making comments about another's body image, and women seem to be particularly sensitized to such criticism in our culture.

However, it is very true-- as many here have already stated-- that how you act and what you do is a lot more critical to determine how sexy and attractive you are than mere physical presentation. Someone once said that the largest sex organ is the brain, and he or she hit it on the mark.

One of the advantages of D/s play is that many subs will become fetishistically enthralled with a Domme's body, regardless of whether it meets traditional cultural norms of beauty. Thus, for instance, many subs are attracted by BBW Dommes. The Domme is beautiful and sexy in the sub's eyes and mind, regardless of how she might be judged in a vanilla beauty contest.

One outside limit on this might be if a physical issue actually impedes a Domme's ability to engage in a particular activity ("I can't whip you-- I'd have a heart attack"). But the more pernicious threat seems to be that the Domme's own insecurities about her physical presentation create inhibitions that prevent from doing things that both she-- and the sub-- really want to do or have done. For instance, I've never been with a Domme whose feet, ass, legs, etc., I wouldn't love to worship. But I've had Dommes reluctant to let me do those things largely because of her own body image concerns. It's a shame, but it is a real factor that impedes some persons' ability to enjoy themselves.

I don't have any insights as to how to overcome these issues, other than to be willing to take a risk and see what happens. Subs are probably the last people in the world from whom you have anything to fear as far as body image criticism. We worship you as you are, and are greatful for the gift of access to your body when and how you choose to grant it.

Regards, ATP

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RE: Dommes And Body Image - 10/3/2007 4:08:40 PM

MIstrezzTanya

Posts: 26
Joined: 7/11/2005
Status: offline

This is an interesting thread.

I honestly dont have very many body image problems.

I know I have a big body.. its a WORKING big body. I've been big my whole life. I have also been very fit and active my whole life.

Hell... I was a fat high school AND college cheerleader.. yet we won championships.

I actually think I GOT big being a defiant lil something or other..lol

I tend to shun things that are constantly reinforced in the media.. and for women.. body image is BIG BUSINESS. It was interesting for me to discover men as a group tend to look at body PARTS. not the entire package. Thats comforting.

when Im uncomfortable in my skin.. its because I have too much under it.. and I do what it takes to get rid of it. I'll never be a size 6 I never wanted to be a size 6. Im fine in my 14's... I might decide to go down to 12 someday.

I feel like I have control of this body. Just like I control others.

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RE: Dommes And Body Image - 10/3/2007 4:37:41 PM

ObedientYYC

Posts: 80
Joined: 8/25/2006
Status: offline

For those who post pics of themselves, I do admire those very few larger ladies who will post a full body pic.
That kind of "comfortable with myself" confidence is very sexy.

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Post #: 66