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sachiaiko -> RE: About the word "Sadist" (9/28/2007 7:58:12 PM)
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:sighs gently:
Sadly, it appears not of you are actually listening. I am not putting down anyone who considers themselves a sexual sadist with willing partners, etc etc etc. I have issue with the WORD. I too, enjoy pain play, but i would never call myself a sadist because i feel it does not adequately do justice to the reality of who i am, and what i enjoy.
To speak directly to the poor woman who actually thinks i'm in need of therapy. Everyone in my life knows who and what i am. I am in no way ashamed of who I am, i love being a dominant, i adore who i am. I dont feel shame, none of this is actually about me. I DO however, work with people on a regular basis who end up needing a lot of help coming to terms with what they desire, and i think should people use words that do not actually MEAN they are mentally ill then there may be less trouble for them, and others like them.
Again. To those of you who are having a very difficult time actually reading what i have now repeatedly said, again, and again, and again: I do not think that Pain play makes you sick. I do not have an issue with pain play. I do not find it reprehensible, i do not find it digusting, i do not have a problem with ANY OF THAT. What i take issue with is using a word to describe something we do, that actually means MENTALLY ILL. I do not consider myself mentally, therefore, I would never USE the word Sadist or Sadism because it does not ACURATELY describe me, and i do not feel that it ACURATELY describes over 90 percent of the D/s community. HENCE BRINGING IT UP HERE where i thought people would be open minded enough not to base their sense of self on a label that quite LITERALLY means they are mentally ill each time they claim they are a sadist. If you dont have trouble with that, FINE, i am simply trying to affect change because i would rather not OUR comunity be lumped in with the afore mentioned TED BUNDY! But if you guys want to continue calling yourselves ill, go right ahead. I will never refer to any of you as sadists.
AGAIN. I DO NOT HAVE AN ISSUE WITH PAIN PLAY. i DO NOT LIKE THE TERM THAT INDICATES YOU ARE MENTALLY ILL EACH TIME YOU USE IT!
Did anyone NOT understand this last post? For those of you who still are missing what the hell i said, I'm done. I'm not insulting you, i dont think your masochistic partners are VICTIMS. NOT EVEN REMOTELY! You did NOT understand teh HEART of what the HELL i was talking about.
And to think, for years i have been saying the D/s comunity is more open minded, less label addicted, and far more accepting of one another. For christ sake, you people proved my wrong - and now i remember why i choose not to be a part of this ridiculous forum years ago!
Last time. Love who i am. Love pain play. No shame, no guilt, no unhappiness. My whole family knows that i am a dominant and i get into discussions regularly. i TEACH about healthy relationships from all walks of life, i work with people from all over the alternative lifestyle "world" and i have been the sole supporting factor in MANY relationships making it. If you want to call yourself mentally ill, have at it.
I, however, will not do it - so in other words, because i am saying i will not do it, you all think i'm attacking your way of life. when in fact i am saying lets use a different term for it so its not tied IN with sadism, but you all like to use the stupid word, well, maybe you are what the word truly means. If you keep claiming you know what it means, and you clearly are incapable of seeing i am not attacking you even remotely, then maybe you ARE mentally ill. Who knows, who cares? I'll go back to my corner of collarme and avoid close minded idiots from this point on.
Ta ta!
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