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Conflicting emotions - 7/23/2005 1:18:19 PM

MasterBecker

Posts: 5
Joined: 7/23/2005
Status: offline

I know what I want.
I have wanted it for a very long time.
The only difference in what I want now is it's more defined other than that it hasn't changed in 12yrs.
I lock away my desires, need and wont reveel them instead mentally bashing myself for being abnormal, weird, strange.
I fear rejection, humiliation.

I want a female slave,
I want to own her as my property.
I want her to recind everything in her life, she will come to me as she was at birth, naked with nothing.
She will live to serve me that will be her primary reason for being.
She can earn "rights" for example she can earn the right to wear clothing, in the begining that is not her right.
She has 2 basic permissions the 1st is to use the bathroom the 2nd is to sleep in a bed.
She may ask to orgasm and I may allow it but that night she will sleep on the floor. Choices.

Any I weird, deranged ?? or could I find someone wanting to give what I am wanting?

Nathaniel

Post #: 1

RE: Conflicting emotions - 7/23/2005 1:31:04 PM

junecleaver

Posts: 1145
Joined: 4/6/2005
Status: offline

Yes, lots of people want to live out there life like it's a bad porn movie. I have yet to see that work for them. Life does get in the way ocassionally. I would personally never want to be with someone who seperated me from reality and tried to make me live in his own.

But you aren't alone. And weird is just a relative term.

(in reply to MasterBecker)

Post #: 2

RE: Conflicting emotions - 7/23/2005 1:33:44 PM

FangsNfeet

Posts: 3758
Joined: 12/3/2004
Status: offline

From what I've seen, there's always someone. I can make my pet sleep on the floor regardless if she likes it or not.
Do you really want them to like it or not like it but does like the fact that you're in control? You can go through several post made by Submissives/Slaves who say "Thank God, I've been good and Master hasn't punished me." But when they get naughty and punished, the may not have liked the punishment, but still be glad that there Dom did what they said they would do and enjoy the controlling aspects of it.

Either way, what you want is out there. You just have to be patient and get it when you see it.

_____________________________

I'm Godzilla and you're Japan

(in reply to MasterBecker)

Post #: 3

RE: Conflicting emotions - 7/23/2005 1:34:43 PM

MasterBecker

Posts: 5
Joined: 7/23/2005
Status: offline

I neglected to mention that at the same time she will be my most treasred possesion and it will not be a distant relationship we will be very close both phsyically and emotionally

(in reply to MasterBecker)

Post #: 4

RE: Conflicting emotions - 7/23/2005 1:42:30 PM

Isolde

Posts: 213
Joined: 4/18/2005
From: Hamilton, Ontario
Status: offline

There's nothing wierd in having a fantasy or ideal that you dream about. There's a good chance someone out there shares it. It's borderline wierd to expect that reality will/must conform to that ideal without hard work and compromise. No slave will be as perfect as the one you've been fantasizing about, no relationship as easy as the one you play out in your head.

(in reply to MasterBecker)

Post #: 5

RE: Conflicting emotions - 7/23/2005 1:49:16 PM

EmeraldSlave2

Posts: 3645
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

Something you might not have thought about is that it gets really annoying after a few days of constantly being asked "May I have the permission to walk forward sir?" "May I have permission to breath again sir?" and so on and so forth.

(in reply to MasterBecker)

Post #: 6

RE: Conflicting emotions - 7/23/2005 2:01:53 PM

stormsfate

Posts: 849
Joined: 2/1/2005
Status: offline

I don't find what you are seeking to be weird or deranged. As with any relationship, however, it will take time to find the right fit.

Best of luck in finding what you seek.

regards,
fate

Edited to add: E...if he gets tired of that after a few days, he can always relax his requirements in that area :)

< Message edited by stormsfate -- 7/23/2005 2:02:49 PM >

(in reply to MasterBecker)

Post #: 7

RE: Conflicting emotions - 7/23/2005 3:54:03 PM

Kinkypupper

Posts: 713
Joined: 9/26/2004
From: Portland oregon
Status: offline

NO you are not "wierd" but then everyone HERE is "wierd" I suppose.

I still have to beleave there is someone out there for me. there is someone out there for everyone The key is to connect with them and realize it when you do.

Patience thats all you can do and keep trying.

_____________________________

Phil Moulton
A Sensual Touch
Locopony Racing
Portland Oregon

(in reply to MasterBecker)

Post #: 8

RE: Conflicting emotions - 7/23/2005 4:09:46 PM

Lordandmaster

Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline

Does it really matter whether a bunch of anonymous strangers think you're weird?

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterBecker

Any I weird

(in reply to MasterBecker)

Post #: 9

RE: Conflicting emotions - 7/23/2005 4:15:20 PM

Gemeni

Posts: 255
Joined: 2/19/2005
Status: offline

What,you are letting her use the bathroom and sleep in a bed?

Softie!

(in reply to Lordandmaster)

Post #: 10

RE: Conflicting emotions - 7/23/2005 4:26:09 PM

EmeraldSlave2

Posts: 3645
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Gemeni

What,you are letting her use the bathroom and sleep in a bed?

Softie!

I thought it was odd that of all the things to make "automatic" that those two would be chosen.

(in reply to Gemeni)

Post #: 11

RE: Conflicting emotions - 7/23/2005 4:36:49 PM

MstrHellsFury

Posts: 388
Joined: 1/5/2005
Status: offline

just curious if the bathroom is a litter box and the bed is a pile of straw...can you just see the simplicity of it all...and yes I agree...for each there is another..just be patient...

Fury

(in reply to MasterBecker)

Post #: 12

RE: Conflicting emotions - 7/23/2005 5:58:34 PM

perverseangelic

Posts: 2625
Joined: 2/2/2004
From: Davis, Ca
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MstrHellsFury

just curious if the bathroom is a litter box and the bed is a pile of straw...can you just see the simplicity of it all...and yes I agree...for each there is another..just be patient...

Fury

I always wondered about the litterbox thing. I mean, our kitties boxes dont' exactly smell amazing. What's the point of having a human use one if they just flush it right away?

Heh. Guess this kink just ain't mine.

_____________________________

~in the begining it is always dark~

(in reply to MstrHellsFury)

Post #: 13

RE: Conflicting emotions - 7/23/2005 10:15:28 PM

MasterBecker

Posts: 5
Joined: 7/23/2005
Status: offline

EmeraldSlave2

your right of course I'm not about to control how she walks or other similar things, that would be annoying. However should something about her walking bother me I will make comment and expect my wishes to be followed at that time.

stormsfate

Thankyou

Lordandmaster

Yes. Obviously I wont stop wanting what I want nor would I change my kink from 1 thing to another but I think everyone wants to find someone who will say "It might not be my thing but your not the only person that feels that way"

Gemeni

lol, I like you already! Bathroom use is not something I wish to control although on occasion I may order my girl to urinate in the backyard instead of the bathroom more for the humiliation than anything else......(thinking of last g/f here) As for the bed thing well maybe I am soft but I would rather keep the floor for punishment instead of the bed for reward if that makes sense.

MstrHellsFury

Thanks.

_____________________________

MasterBecker

(in reply to MasterBecker)

Post #: 14

RE: Conflicting emotions - 7/24/2005 6:19:47 AM

Synocense

Posts: 255
Joined: 8/8/2004
Status: offline

Hello MasterBecker,

There is absolutely nothing wrong with micromanaging as long as the level of control taken is in sync with the level of control relinquished. In other words; you and your potential have discussed way before she becomes your slave, eachothers wants, needs and expectations. Is there someone out there who matches your criteria? Yes ...and I am certain I am not the only one. I am someone not only wanting the same things that you want, but I need them. Don't think for a moment that you are "weird" or "deranged" just because you strut to a less played tune : )

Best of luck,
Syn

_____________________________

Before you speak, ask yourself..
Is it kind? Is it true? Is it necessary?
Does it improve upon the silence?

(in reply to MasterBecker)

Post #: 15

RE: Conflicting emotions - 7/24/2005 8:43:39 AM

EmeraldSlave2

Posts: 3645
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterBecker

EmeraldSlave2

your right of course I'm not about to control how she walks or other similar things, that would be annoying. However should something about her walking bother me I will make comment and expect my wishes to be followed at that time.

Then you should modify your statements about "nothing" being given rights except those two things.

(in reply to MasterBecker)

Post #: 16

RE: Conflicting emotions - 7/24/2005 9:27:41 AM

pinkpleasures

Posts: 1114
Status: offline

quote:

I want a female slave,
I want to own her as my property.
I want a female slave,
I want to own her as my property.
I want her to recind everything in her life, she will come to me as she was at birth, naked with nothing.
She will live to serve me that will be her primary reason for being.
She can earn "rights" for example she can earn the right to wear clothing, in the begining that is not her right.
She has 2 basic permissions the 1st is to use the bathroom the 2nd is to sleep in a bed.
She may ask to orgasm and I may allow it but that night she will sleep on the floor. Choices.

MasterBecker

Sir, the part that confused me was this:

"I want her to rescind everything in her life, she will come to me as she was at birth, naked with nothing."

i spoke for quite awhile to a Master in California who kept telling me He was going to take me. He told me He would take ownership of all my belongings and all my income, and i would have nothing but what He permitted me to have. He was vague about my rights concerning my kid. For a variety of reasons, we stopped speaking. i was very attracted to Him, but He painted a picture of a life i could not lead...and the issue of property was a part of what drove me away.

Just wondering whether You have the same feelings as He did, Sir?

pinkpleasures

< Message edited by pinkpleasures -- 7/24/2005 9:29:19 AM >

_____________________________

(in reply to EmeraldSlave2)

Post #: 17

RE: Conflicting emotions - 7/26/2005 5:10:41 AM

MasterBecker

Posts: 5
Joined: 7/23/2005
Status: offline

I don't think I do pinkpleasures.

In my mind I have always pictured the woman coming to me with her suit cases in hand ready to move in. The thing is her suit cases and their contents are locked away in another room and she is given something to wear a tracksuit perhaps. In due time the contents of the cases would be inspected and items I chose her g-strings perhaps or maybe a nice pair of heels are returned to her. Other items that I wouldn't be wanting her to have or wear are not returned to her that could include a favorite but daggy sweater, nothing unusual but I wont be allowing underwear to be worn on a daily basis although I may allow it on certain special occasions. Should she be renting a unit the lease would be cancelled and things not wanted or needed by me would be sold .... I am a reasonable person if a certain object or piece of furninture was very special for example it once belonged to her grandmother who has since passed away she could ask for it to be kept.

One other thing again I feel I am a fair person and I have always thought to myself that my girl could earn certain pleasures or privliges etc. Not everything would be sold, some things would be kept but put away from her it could be a wall size family portrait. Should she prove her willingness to learn and to serve me after a period of time I would reward her by giving her the portrait back again. In this way I feel I will get more compliance without breaking the girls spirit.

I hope this answers your questions

_____________________________

MasterBecker

(in reply to pinkpleasures)

Post #: 18

RE: Conflicting emotions - 7/26/2005 5:40:30 AM

tinkJH

Posts: 180
Joined: 5/22/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterBecker

I don't think I do pinkpleasures.

In my mind I have always pictured the woman coming to me with her suit cases in hand ready to move in. The thing is her suit cases and their contents are locked away in another room and she is given something to wear a tracksuit perhaps. In due time the contents of the cases would be inspected and items I chose her g-strings perhaps or maybe a nice pair of heels are returned to her. Other items that I wouldn't be wanting her to have or wear are not returned to her that could include a favorite but daggy sweater, nothing unusual but I wont be allowing underwear to be worn on a daily basis although I may allow it on certain special occasions. Should she be renting a unit the lease would be cancelled and things not wanted or needed by me would be sold .... I am a reasonable person if a certain object or piece of furninture was very special for example it once belonged to her grandmother who has since passed away she could ask for it to be kept.

One other thing again I feel I am a fair person and I have always thought to myself that my girl could earn certain pleasures or privliges etc. Not everything would be sold, some things would be kept but put away from her it could be a wall size family portrait. Should she prove her willingness to learn and to serve me after a period of time I would reward her by giving her the portrait back again. In this way I feel I will get more compliance without breaking the girls spirit.

I hope this answers your questions

So... You feel that you would need to bribe your slave? Your building a relationship with someone to the point where you move them in with you. Then, You sell off all their belonging (The clothing bit I doubt any sub or slave would mind at all.) without reguard to as what type of meaning they might have to the slave. If something has been from her dead grandmother she could ASK to keep it, but you make no guarentee as to if that would be allowed. You also say that if she tried to rent a storage unit to keep her stuff in, you would cancel it. Then, anything else important to her, such as a family portrait, you would keep and basically use as a bribe or she didn't get to see them.

None of that would go well with me, at all. Besides the fact that when I moved r/t with my Master I took 3 kids, a dog and a cat, and everything that I have that was ever my mothers or grandmothers. Since they are both deceased, each and every item I have that was their is special to me. Master might not like them, but he respects the amount of meaning and emotional ties I have to these items. They are safe and sound in the basement, should I ever have the need to go sit around them when I feel the need.

The problem with this, is what happens when the relationship fails? When she decides she has had enough, or you no longer continue with her and she is now left with nothing at all? If she decides she wants to leave, How does she leave? Will you pay to move her? buy her new stuff?

Also, How does she keep in touch with her family? Granted I'm not saying you couldn't find a girl who was distant and really didnt talk or keep in touch with her family or just didn't care. But, what about a girl that is close to her family?

Will she work? Can you support her if she is doesn't? All her medical care, dental care?

The only real problem with fantasies like this, as someone has said, is they seem to overlook the reality of life. You basically have to pick and choose and find what is best suited and close to what you want, then mold the rest the best you can. Otherwise.. you might as well just keep reading books, and hoping.

(in reply to MasterBecker)

Post #: 19

RE: Conflicting emotions - 7/26/2005 6:27:16 AM

Quivver

Posts: 1953
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline

"He painted a picture of a life I could not lead..."

MasterBecker, Pink . . . this is something I too struggle with.
it's not so much an attachment to accumulated things as it is
many of those things represent what has made me, me.
Children being one of the larger issues.

"I have always pictured the woman coming to me with her suit
cases in hand ready to move in." "she will come to me as she
was at birth, naked with nothing"
I don't mean any disrespect, but life happens. Rescinding may
be a lovely thought. but who has ventured into adulthood as a
semi healthy human waiting to hear "come here"?
They'd starve first.
So with that in mind fantasy tends to fly right out the window.
Baggage happens, good baggage, bad baggage, or just accumulated
baggage, it just is. Of course I'd want to share good baggage
yet on the flip side of that scale is the bad baggage that needs cleaned
up before I can knock and ask to come in.

I'm curious MasterBecker how you plan to deal with the baggage
your slave has accumulated?

Q

_____________________________

The problem with communication ... is the illusion that it has been accomplished. ~George Bernard Shaw

(in reply to MasterBecker)

Post #: 20

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