Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

RE: Approaches that mostly do not work..


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Approaches that mostly do not work.. Page: <<   < prev  1 2 [3] 4 5   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
RE: Approaches that mostly do not work.. - 9/30/2007 3:25:09 AM   
RRafe


Posts: 2060
Joined: 8/29/2007
Status: offline 		In all honesty, I prefer to get to know someone in person. This medium belies the complexity and richness of true human interactions. I'm open minded enough not to let something as trivial as a few mistakes in writing to force me to pass up something that could be wonderful.

So I tend to be forgiving and patient-with the small things.

< Message edited by RRafe -- 9/30/2007 3:26:20 AM >

_____________________________

I seem to be some wierd combination of Ren and Stimpy

(in reply to Rule)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Approaches that mostly do not work.. - 9/30/2007 4:51:08 AM   
camille65


Posts: 5746
Joined: 7/11/2007
From: Austin Texas
Status: offline 		General reply.
There is a time and place for chatspeak, but that time/place is not an introductory letter.
For me there is a difference between those that are dyslexic or whose native language is not english and those who make no effort to clean up their text. The former I understand and empathize with but the latter I tend to give short shrift to if it is a continuing habit.

There are some on the forum that fall into the latter catagory but I typically stay quiet. A few I have contacted and offered to help, those developed into friendships.  They have good things to say that will be ignored by many simply because of their style of communication.
Others just plain and simply don't care.

If *you* don't understand why you cannot get past first contact please look carefully at how you go about writing/posting. If *you* need help I would be glad to proofread and correct.
But if *you* continue to butcher the very medium in use then please know you may not get very far with anyone.

It is a lack of respect towards those that *you* write, it shows you do not take the time nor the effort to put yourself in a good light.


_____________________________


~Love your life! (It is the only one you'll get).




(in reply to RRafe)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Approaches that mostly do not work.. - 9/30/2007 4:59:35 AM   
windchymes


Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline 		I got the one from "THEPAINDOCTOR" too, lol   Apparently he was out riding around in his ambulance last night

_____________________________

You know it's going to be a GOOD blow job when she puts a Breathe Right strip on first.

Pick-up artists and garbage men should trade names.

(in reply to camille65)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Approaches that mostly do not work.. - 9/30/2007 5:05:48 AM   
astartefinch


Posts: 10
Joined: 7/15/2007
Status: offline 		Jesus that 'pain doctor' is one seriously scary person, hopefully that approach would frighten off everyone, it sure terrifies me!

(in reply to windchymes)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Approaches that mostly do not work.. - 9/30/2007 6:09:18 AM   
xoxi


Posts: 1066
Status: offline 		omg wyndchymes - *please* tell me that was a form letter!  It's somehow less creepy if I know he didn't write tha especially for me.

And yeah...those were all within the first 3 or 4 pages of my email - and keep in mind over half of my email on here is regular correspondence, not weird guys trolling for 'subflesh.'

As far as the topic goes I tend to judge content far more than spelling.  Grammar goes either way - I know sometimes I forget to say "if my mother were here" instead of "if my mother was here" or "I'm doing well" instead of "I'm doing good" and I think that's a cultural thing in all honesty.  Very few people know all the rules of proper grammar - including my best friend who planned on becoming an English teacher before realizing she made more money at the makeup counter of Fields/Macy's than as a TA.

The two things that really bother me are constant chatspeak and ghetto slang.  Any message that includes "so where u stay at" is beyond ignored.  And spelling errors that show complete unfamiliarity with basic words are usually trashed too - the one that sticks out most clearly was something like "I will forfill your fantasies" - I just sort of stared at my computer for a minute thinking "you'll do WHAT now?"

I try not to judge people who obviously speak English as a second language, but to be perfectly blunt if you're writing me from Egypt and I can only make sense of your email by huffing a can of paint and saying it out loud in an Apu accent...we're probably not going to work out.  Yes, that makes me a cultural elitist or supremacist or whatever else - but at least I'll admit it before they buy me dinner

(in reply to astartefinch)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Approaches that mostly do not work.. - 9/30/2007 7:02:26 AM   
lighthearted


Posts: 1165
Joined: 11/26/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SeeksOnlyOne

quote:

ORIGINAL: lighthearted

I am extremely prejudiced when it comes to spelling and grammer, it makes me wonder what else in their life is as sloppy and unmanaged.

when I actually understood what he was trying to say, well, any time the word "true" appears, it's an automatic strike against them, right up there with "real" and the dreaded..."dominate".

(and yes, I am aware that I begin all sentences with l/c letters, except those that start with "I")


grammar


lol...apparently it's contagious then

_____________________________

"Thou art to me a delicious torment." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

(in reply to SeeksOnlyOne)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Approaches that mostly do not work.. - 9/30/2007 7:37:36 AM   
adoracat


Posts: 1779
Joined: 2/16/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RRafe

quote:

ORIGINAL: adoracat

quote:

ORIGINAL: RRafe

General fast reply.........

I dunno. Iv'e gotten subs that were just a s bad-very dissapointing overall. Especially when they start rattling off the "I do hope you realize that I am sitting on a golden pussy-I'm really STRONG..My GIFT must be EARNED.....yadda yadda yaddda *barf*.

Drop the insecure fantasy garbage you spew to "doms" and just treat me like a human.

Is it really so difficult?


only golden? you havent LIVED till you've had platinum!  mine, bebe, mine!!

*removes tongue from cheek*

anyone can suffer from "full-of-themselves".  and i definitely agree, Rafe. treat me as a human being, and we can discuss anything further from there.

kitten, whose Sir won her in exactly that manner.


In general, I like people.

And in general, I dislike those who cling to negative baggage-life is too short to be a victim.


*nods*  everyone has baggage.  and its not always possible to get rid of the negative stuff.  its how you deal with your negative experiences/baggage that  counts. 

kudos for the positive attitude, Rafe.  :)

kitten

(in reply to RRafe)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Approaches that mostly do not work.. - 9/30/2007 7:56:30 AM   
MidMichCowboy


Posts: 665
Joined: 3/23/2007
Status: offline 		I also have trouble with spelling at times. That is why I have a spell checker (yes, even in IE). At the very least you can cut and paste into a word processing program. There are a lot of tools a person can use to improve their presentation. Spelling and acceptable grammar are the first image you plant in a person's mind when you are online. Why would you not want to take the extra step of making them acceptable? I don't expect classic literature, but I would like to understand what a person is conveying in their profiles or emails.
Most of the relationship mistakes I have made in the past were as a result of poor communication. So, whether it be writing or talking, I am now, very careful and expect the same.
As for him being a poser, I guess I am heartless.
I'd say that he is, like too many others in the world, a little cock rooster. When people feel like they don't measure up, they concoct the damndest facades. Some are very good at it. A lot of people have a façade or mask they present to the public. Some do it to protect themselves if they have been hurt, some do it because they are afraid of the world and some do it to cover what they see as inadequacies in themselves. I’ve even been guilty of it. Now, I’m just tired of it. I feel if someone doesn’t like me, join the crowd


_____________________________

I want to capture your mind, your spirit, your soul, your body, your devotion and your love. Then, will I give you my heart.

(in reply to Rule)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Approaches that mostly do not work.. - 9/30/2007 8:23:55 AM   
Celeste43


Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
Status: offline 		Xoxi wins.

But I don't even use text speak when sending messages on the cell phone. The idea of using it in an email makes me assume you're a minor.

(in reply to MidMichCowboy)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Approaches that mostly do not work.. - 9/30/2007 8:24:53 AM   
krikket


Posts: 1183
Joined: 11/17/2004
From: Washington, DC Metro Area
Status: offline 		When i read a letter like this one, the obvious shortcuts drive me nuts.   If the writer can't take the time to write out whole words, it makes me wonder what other shortcuts they'd be "prone" to when i'm tied up and gagged... (shudders)

They almost always end up being hit by the delete key. 

Cheers
jimini

_____________________________

"And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to bloom."

by A. Nin



When your heart speaks take good notes.





(in reply to Missokyst)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: Approaches that mostly do not work.. - 9/30/2007 8:29:53 AM   
shellzbythesea


Posts: 120
Joined: 5/27/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: astartefinch

Jesus that 'pain doctor' is one seriously scary person, hopefully that approach would frighten off everyone, it sure terrifies me!



Yes, i received one from this guy, as well.  i think i'd be more scared of the sub that actually writes back...if one ever has. 

(in reply to astartefinch)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: Approaches that mostly do not work.. - 9/30/2007 8:41:15 AM   
Missokyst


Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline 		HEY!  I got one of those!  Gawd that man must travel.
Kyst
quote:

ORIGINAL: windchymes

I got the one from "THE-----------" too, lol   Apparently he was out riding around in his ambulance last night


_____________________________

pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding ~Gibran, Kahlil

“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”
― Bob Marley


(in reply to windchymes)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: Approaches that mostly do not work.. - 9/30/2007 8:44:28 AM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Missokyst

HEY!  I got one of those!  Gawd that man must travel.
Kyst
quote:

ORIGINAL: windchymes

I got the one from "THE-----------" too, lol   Apparently he was out riding around in his ambulance last night



I got that one as well as the French guy who wrote Xoxi. I told him I already had big breasts and could never be considered a bimbo, here or in France, but thanks for the offer.

(in reply to Missokyst)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: Approaches that mostly do not work.. - 9/30/2007 8:49:55 AM   
Missokyst


Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline 		I don't see this as spelling errors.  It is more like laziness, though I do know a bit about his background and education was not a high priority in his life.  The UR, where you at?, or spelling errors (which I find tolerable) are things which can be corrected.  Taking time, using spell checkers, or just listening to how people speak, and trying to write as you would hear it, can do wonders for creating a positive image. 
I have begun to think that it is the netspeak, which is the new facade for acceptability.  And that plain and simple, scares the bejeebers out of me.
Kyst

_____________________________

pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding ~Gibran, Kahlil

“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”
― Bob Marley


(in reply to MidMichCowboy)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: Approaches that mostly do not work.. - 9/30/2007 9:13:19 AM   
ThinkingKitten


Posts: 447
Joined: 6/15/2006
From: Ontari-ari-o
Status: offline 		FR here:
kyst: yup, that was a bad one.
I don't expect perfection in an email but blatant abuse of the English language pretty much garners them a "no thankyou" response. And yes, as xoxi said the ones from Eygpt... or the Netherlands, or somewhere else where you read it and go "huh?". Delete.
 
I started communicating with a Dom recently by email. Not a brilliant writer, but OK to start. Once we got into it though, I could spend 20 to 30 mins carefully writing a (hopefully) well thought out and articulate response... and I'd get back a 3 line, running thought, half answers (or no answers) blurb that looked like it took 20 seconds to do. I complained (politely). No change. So I said (wrote) that there was no point in continuing if he couldn't be bothered to communicate better. He replied with the "I'm a Dom. I look forward, I look to create" excuse, but still didn't change anything...ie it was still a running thought, 2 liner with lots of dots used between the bits of thoughts.
 
I gave up. I was tempted to reply that the folks on the Titanic had been forward looking, and seeking to create a record... and we all know what happened there don't we?
 
 

_____________________________

Thinking Kitten

If you can't stand the heat... tell the chef to get out of the kitchen.

(in reply to Missokyst)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: Approaches that mostly do not work.. - 9/30/2007 9:23:03 AM   
Sexynmentalinkc


Posts: 132
Joined: 4/14/2006
Status: offline 		Approaches often neglect the addage:  You *never* get a 2nd chance to make a 1st impression.


If there are grammar or spelling issues, it says a TON to me about the other person's mindset, focus and sensabilities.

Mom being an English teacher didn't help, since I developed a healthy disdain for its misuse. That being said, that issue is lower on the list than just being REAL and honest.

If I can sense that those 2 things are there, in spades, I'm always likely overlook other things.


*shrug*

- Mr. S


_____________________________

"I think all right-thinking people in this country are sick and tired of being told that ordinary, decent people are fed up in this country with being sick and tired. ...I'm certainly not. And I'm sick and tired of being told that I am..."

(in reply to ThinkingKitten)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: Approaches that mostly do not work.. - 9/30/2007 9:32:58 AM   
shellzbythesea


Posts: 120
Joined: 5/27/2007
Status: offline 		my personal favorite "approaches that mostly do not work" are the (thankfully few) Doms that have written to me solely and only to totally blast my ad and berate me and THEN they put me on some type of blocking system so that i cannot respond.  That's probably a good thing as i really shouldn't be wasting my time or energy in replying to that type of nonsense, anyhow.
 
i mean, really...why even write to a person simply to tell them You don't like them?  What is the point in that?  Just move on to the next ad.

(in reply to Sexynmentalinkc)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: Approaches that mostly do not work.. - 9/30/2007 12:53:07 PM   
ELUSIVE1


Posts: 536
Joined: 9/11/2005
Status: offline 		I get those too, not sure what the answer is, last week I received a first email contact here that thanked me for my email???well I was born at night-but not LASTNIGHT...that was obviously bait for me to respond and ask'what email' which I DID NOT DO...the following email I got on that space site got my irish temper going a bit, and rendered this member 'banned' from contacting me...(again,first ever email)

I'm sending you two comments for your guestbook. Now be my good little slave and do both of them then message me back the photos. (I promise I won't send them out. Keep your face out of them if you wish.) What do you think Elusive. Would you like to be my little e-mail pet and plaything.

(You can call me Milord)

ppppshaaaw...as if...he is obviously from another site that accepts 'comments' but he is also on my banned members list...if they would only live by the 'only say online what you would say face to face' rule

< Message edited by ELUSIVE1 -- 9/30/2007 12:58:20 PM >

_____________________________

"Words have no power to impress the mind without the exquisite horror of their reality"

*Poe
http://alt.com/blog/ELUSIVE1NC
http://users.adultspace.com/ELUSIVE1NC/


(in reply to Rule)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: Approaches that mostly do not work.. - 9/30/2007 12:57:35 PM   
bootw0rshipJT


Posts: 71
Joined: 8/23/2007
Status: offline 		I'm never quite 100% sure of how to approach....I'm always polite and and use proper English, but never sure of how to actually to make the reciever sit up and bother to reply.

I think this is just inexperience though to be honest......

(in reply to ELUSIVE1)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: Approaches that mostly do not work.. - 9/30/2007 1:42:35 PM   
krikket


Posts: 1183
Joined: 11/17/2004
From: Washington, DC Metro Area
Status: offline 		Well, geez, having never received anything like that, i think i feel neglected... but... i'm sure i'll survive..lol

giggling,
jimini

quote:

ORIGINAL: ELUSIVE1

I get those too, not sure what the answer is, last week I received a first email contact here that thanked me for my email???well I was born at night-but not LASTNIGHT...that was obviously bait for me to respond and ask'what email' which I DID NOT DO...the following email I got on that space site got my irish temper going a bit, and rendered this member 'banned' from contacting me...(again,first ever email)

I'm sending you two comments for your guestbook. Now be my good little slave and do both of them then message me back the photos. (I promise I won't send them out. Keep your face out of them if you wish.) What do you think Elusive. Would you like to be my little e-mail pet and plaything.

(You can call me Milord)

ppppshaaaw...as if...he is obviously from another site that accepts 'comments' but he is also on my banned members list...if they would only live by the 'only say online what you would say face to face' rule


_____________________________

"And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to bloom."

by A. Nin



When your heart speaks take good notes.





(in reply to ELUSIVE1)
Profile   Post #: 60
Page:   <<   < prev  1 2 [3] 4 5   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Approaches that mostly do not work.. Page: <<   < prev  1 2 [3] 4 5   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.094