Why are we really into BDSM?

Why are we really into BDSM? (Full Version)

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SirEbonyPhoenix -> Why are we really into BDSM? (9/29/2007 6:53:17 PM)
Latetly, I've been pondering this question for a while: Why are we really into BDSM? Are some of us in it for sexual pleasure only? Or maybe, just maybe, we want to truly enhance our relationships with our spouses/significant other? Ever since I got into this lifestyle, this has been one question I've wanted to ask, particuarly as my search for a life partner has gotten frustrating of late.

Viridana -> RE: Why are we really into BDSM? (9/29/2007 6:56:34 PM)
Why am I really into BDSM? because it's fun.

BlackKnight -> RE: Why are we really into BDSM? (9/29/2007 6:58:30 PM)
control, power, makes me erect. ;)

DiurnalVampire -> RE: Why are we really into BDSM? (9/29/2007 6:59:16 PM)
I'm into BDSM mainly becsaue it is the easiest way for me to interact with others happily and consistantly. Angel and I do fantastically, and neither of us would be completely fulfilled in a relationship that didnt have these aspects. DV

MadRabbit -> RE: Why are we really into BDSM? (9/29/2007 7:00:48 PM)
Because dominance and sadism are simply parts of who I am. The thought of finding a partner in an egalatarian relationship that I cant be fully who I am with is a thought that doesnt cross my mind. I would rather be alone and waiting patiently then in a relationship that I am not finding fulfillment in.

DocRudy -> RE: Why are we really into BDSM? (9/29/2007 7:02:47 PM)
Agreed. I tried vanilla relationships for a while. God they were boring. -DR

BlackKnight -> RE: Why are we really into BDSM? (9/29/2007 7:03:14 PM)
yeah, what he said! the mad wabbit that is.

Pyrrsefanie -> RE: Why are we really into BDSM? (9/29/2007 7:17:27 PM)
Because it allows me an outlet with which I can let go and give up control. And also because the level of devotion I show to my Master seems to get odd looks from 'nilla people. They think I bow to his every whim because I'm weak, or "too young to know any better"... I can never get them to understand that it's a choice of mine and that it makes me feel fulfilled on a level that nothing else can match. That and the sex is awesome.

lighthearted -> RE: Why are we really into BDSM? (9/29/2007 7:17:32 PM)
I like getting hurt. it gets me hot. he likes hurting me. it gets him hot. they are a few pieces of a puzzle, that when put together, make a happy "picture" of us.

BlackKnight -> RE: Why are we really into BDSM? (9/29/2007 7:18:53 PM)
I'm bored. l8r

sublizzie -> RE: Why are we really into BDSM? (9/29/2007 7:31:16 PM)
I'm into D/s because, with the right Dominant, I can be totally myself. I see this as something that is appropriate for me to have in my life until I die. It's easier to find people who are interested in D/s around people who are into BDSM than those I meet at church. Just my thoughts........

spanklette -> RE: Why are we really into BDSM? (9/29/2007 7:31:30 PM)
I engage in BDSM, because I enjoy the way it makes me and my partner feel...I engage in D/s because I like the way relationships have a mutual jumping off point. Eventually, my vanilla relationships have all kind of moved in this direction, but defining my needs from the outset makes life a whole lot easier. But, BDSM, that's the icing on the cake. The D/s being the cake...I hope that makes sense.

RRafe -> RE: Why are we really into BDSM? (9/29/2007 7:36:59 PM)
I'm in it to find a fun and creative pervette. Any other reason is quite insane-so far as I am concerned.

DWCdelight -> RE: Why are we really into BDSM? (9/29/2007 7:42:49 PM)
When Master is displeased with me I wonder if I belong in the lifestyle at all. I strive so hard to please Him and then when I tell Him that I'm trying and He comes back with "Trying isn't good enough. You have to DO" I feel inadequate as to know what to do! I feel so bad when I know I've tried as hard as I can and it still doesn't please Him! So I wonder: Am I cut out for the lifestyle or not? I don't ever want to go back to vanilla. I could never be happy in a nilla relationship again. But if I am truly such a bad slave and Master releases me, how will I ever find a Master willing to put up with me? I love the personal things that I do. I call myself Master's PBS--His Personal Body Slave. I also enjoy the sex! I've never had better sex in my life. But I sure don't want to be known as a sex slave because that's not what I'm looking for in a relationship. Nor do I want to get married again--ever! I want a LTR. I want and need a Master who can control me, but is willing to put up with my sassy mouth. A strict but benevolent Master? I guess I'm trying to say that I'm something of a BRAT. I am an enigma to myself, never mind to Master. I think I'm unexplainable. Two more things: 1 - I've only been in the lifestyle two years and was collared by Master shortly after finding it; and 2 - O/our relationship is poly, which is hard to deal with at the best of times. He says His slaves are not in competition with each other, which is a crock. We compete for His time continually and He just can't see this. And there is NEVER enough time!!! Why am I into BDSM? I honestly don't know. I wish I had the answer to that, knew what it was and was satisfied with it. Keep it safe, sane, consensual . . . and fun.

xoxi -> RE: Why are we really into BDSM? (9/29/2007 7:44:34 PM)
Because being held captive and ravished makes me feel pretty And being subservient and pleasing makes me feel useful Also because a real man deserves a real woman and vice versa.

SweetSarijane -> RE: Why are we really into BDSM? (9/29/2007 7:45:04 PM)
I'm into bdsm because I enjoy it on many levels and have fun. I'm into D/s because it's what fulfills me relationship-wise. Simple.

sadomasokisti -> RE: Why are we really into BDSM? (9/29/2007 8:01:53 PM)
Guess I'm lucky Author unknown, but it's the best answer I have seen.

MistressPurpleFL -> RE: Why are we really into BDSM? (9/29/2007 8:11:23 PM)
That is a common question that I have heard asked or have been asked. There are misconceptions from the vanilla world that "folks" into the lifestyle must be sick or at least have some type of mental / emotional problem. I was really young when I had my first "dominant" experience and there was nothing wrong with me (even though I had no name or understood what I was developing. ) Innately I am dominant; it is who I am and for others as well whether submissive or dominant it is innate. For others it is so called to "SPICE" things up. As far as what "NORMAL" is well that is subjective and who has to right to define NORMAL? I say as long as we are truly enjoying ourselves and everyone involved is an ADULT and knows their role then we should continue having fun and being ourselves. A lot of people FEAR what they do not know or have been raised with the idea that anything deviating from the "missionary position" is dirty; poor folks. Just my two cents Mistress Purple

TNstepsout -> RE: Why are we really into BDSM? (9/29/2007 9:09:33 PM)
I just wandered in and can't seem to find my way out.

RumpusParable -> RE: Why are we really into BDSM? (9/29/2007 9:17:08 PM)
Personally, there was never any "getting into it" or such as seems to be implied to have happened at some point by the OP. Nor do I see why this question is so common... Do people I don't know about spend the amount of questioning I've seen to BDSM on why they are into riding rollercoasters, going skiing with their spouse, enjoying getting a massage, etc.? My BDSM activities and interests developed naturally along with my other likes and dislikes as I grew through childhood into adulthood to the age I am, and I am sure will keep doing so. There's never been anything mysterious about my being bossy by nature or liking intense sensations... those things are 100% the same as the fact that I like things organized and chocolate chip ice cream tastes great to me. I just don't understand where these questions even come from. I'm not being contrary at all, I truly don't understand when OPs like this come up (or the same IRL)...

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