RE: Why are we really into BDSM?

RE: Why are we really into BDSM? (Full Version)

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Damocles809 -> RE: Why are we really into BDSM? (9/29/2007 9:36:55 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MistressPurpleFL A lot of people FEAR what they do not know or have been raised with the idea that anything deviating from the "missionary position" is dirty; poor folks. Yup. Fear of pain, fear of physical helplessness, and fear of being dirty can all get the adrenaline flowing. And when the adrenaline's on, our physical sensors get more receptive. And when the nerves in our pants gets more receptive, sexy stuff gets sexier.

truesub4u -> RE: Why are we really into BDSM? (9/29/2007 9:46:28 PM)
<Fast Reply> I'm here because this is my home. I learned very early on that I was always submissive in bed. And my first Master showed me how I really was submissive to men out of bed too. So I was introduced to my submissive side. He showed me I was more than a bedroom submissive. And there's nowhere i've ever been happier. I've tried too. I've lived in silence as my family has stated how sick people like me were. I've lived with friends thinking I was a freak or totally out of my mind for allowing myself to be taken advantage of. Because that's the way they seen it and believed it all to be about. But of course none of them but 1 ever wanted to know more. And that 1 moved on to the gorean lifestyle, because it suited him more than it did me. Over time I discovered more about myself and more of what I really was. Needed, wanted to get and give. To the point that now my submission is deeper than anything sexual. When it became more than sexual, it became to a little harder for me to find a more compatiable dominant figure in my life. Over the past few years, i've started to discover that there are a few more doms out there that think as I do. Now don't get me wrong here... the sex is still good... when it happens .... but it's not what it's all about for me. It's much more deeper. Inside... outside... mentally... painfully... sensually....verbally.....oh lord I could go on... [:)]

rmanrr -> RE: Why are we really into BDSM? (9/30/2007 12:18:47 AM)
Greetings Because it is a part of who I am. Period. Simple.

breatheasone -> RE: Why are we really into BDSM? (9/30/2007 12:25:08 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DWCdelight When Master is displeased with me I wonder if I belong in the lifestyle at all. I strive so hard to please Him and then when I tell Him that I'm trying and He comes back with "Trying isn't good enough. You have to DO" I feel inadequate as to know what to do! I feel so bad when I know I've tried as hard as I can and it still doesn't please Him! So I wonder: Am I cut out for the lifestyle or not? I don't ever want to go back to vanilla. I could never be happy in a nilla relationship again. But if I am truly such a bad slave and Master releases me, how will I ever find a Master willing to put up with me? I love the personal things that I do. I call myself Master's PBS--His Personal Body Slave. I also enjoy the sex! I've never had better sex in my life. But I sure don't want to be known as a sex slave because that's not what I'm looking for in a relationship. Nor do I want to get married again--ever! I want a LTR. I want and need a Master who can control me, but is willing to put up with my sassy mouth. A strict but benevolent Master? I guess I'm trying to say that I'm something of a BRAT. I am an enigma to myself, never mind to Master. I think I'm unexplainable. Two more things: 1 - I've only been in the lifestyle two years and was collared by Master shortly after finding it; and 2 - O/our relationship is poly, which is hard to deal with at the best of times. He says His slaves are not in competition with each other, which is a crock. We compete for His time continually and He just can't see this. And there is NEVER enough time!!! Why am I into BDSM? I honestly don't know. I wish I had the answer to that, knew what it was and was satisfied with it. Keep it safe, sane, consensual . . . and fun. Geez...you sound miserable...I guess I can see why you are wondering why you are in this...

lynn23 -> RE: Why are we really into BDSM? (9/30/2007 12:33:23 AM)
I remember how I first found out about the lifestyle...I was 18 and aproached online by a couple...from that point on, even though I never spoke with them after that one chat, I couldn't get the things they said out of my head...I've realized parts of why I am into this...and i understand this isn't the case for Domme's...but I believe women should serve their men as best they can...not slavery but at least respect them, take care of them...it's so hard to find men that want that now a days...vanilla men take their partners for granted whereas Dom's may not verbally acknowledge respecting their sub, but they at least appreciate them...Also, nilla boys just don't know how to handle a flogger or be dominant and not sound like a jerk....they just don't take control like a Dom can...mmm, now I am trying to remember why I have let myself go so long without all that I just listed...

Bobkgin -> RE: Why are we really into BDSM? (9/30/2007 4:02:27 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SirEbonyPhoenix Latetly, I've been pondering this question for a while: Why are we really into BDSM? Are some of us in it for sexual pleasure only? Or maybe, just maybe, we want to truly enhance our relationships with our spouses/significant other? Ever since I got into this lifestyle, this has been one question I've wanted to ask, particuarly as my search for a life partner has gotten frustrating of late. Because it is the most intimate and challenging (thus meaningful) expression of love and trust I know.

BlackKnight -> RE: Why are we really into BDSM? (9/30/2007 4:05:41 PM)
Cause the kicks keep getting harder to find! I didn't exactly get into bdsm, it was a evolving/naming jank

kirii -> RE: Why are we really into BDSM? (9/30/2007 4:09:44 PM)
The only reason I am into BDSM is for the pain aspect. I like pain; I like being in pain; the more pain there is, the more I like it. I do want to point out though that my intimate relationships with others are in no way centered around BDSM. BDSM for me is not sexual in any way; I do it only for the fun and for the pain that it brings.

Decimus -> RE: Why are we really into BDSM? (9/30/2007 4:10:54 PM)
You know Bob, I have to admit there are quite a few times on the forums I don't agree at all with what you are saying, but with what you just said I fully agree with that as shown by my signature quote.

charlotte12 -> RE: Why are we really into BDSM? (9/30/2007 6:44:07 PM)
I never made a choice to "get into BDSM". There was no conscious decision on my part that wanted to be submissive, i simply discovered that i am. I was submissive before i even knew this lifestyle existed. I cannot say why i am submissive and i've decided it doesn't really help me to try to figure it out. So i can't really say why i am into BDSM other than that it simply feels right and is who i am. So my answer to these kind of questions is usually more along the lines of what feels right rather than why i'm in it. Semantics maybe but to me it is an important disctinction. When i am curled at my Master's feet i feel right. When my hands are bound i feel right and when he grabs my collar, slaps me and tells me "woman do it RIGHT" i get all warm and fuzzy and he usually ends up laughing because i get this huge smile on my face as i scurry to fix whatever i did wrong. So for me yes, it is about sexual pleasure. Yes it is about a deep connection with my partner but it is also about being who i am fully and completely. charlotte

OsideGirl -> RE: Why are we really into BDSM? (9/30/2007 6:50:02 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DWCdelight When Master is displeased with me I wonder if I belong in the lifestyle at all. I strive so hard to please Him and then when I tell Him that I'm trying and He comes back with "Trying isn't good enough. You have to DO" I feel inadequate as to know what to do! I feel so bad when I know I've tried as hard as I can and it still doesn't please Him! So I wonder: Am I cut out for the lifestyle or not? I don't ever want to go back to vanilla. I could never be happy in a nilla relationship again. But if I am truly such a bad slave and Master releases me, how will I ever find a Master willing to put up with me? I love the personal things that I do. I call myself Master's PBS--His Personal Body Slave. I also enjoy the sex! I've never had better sex in my life. But I sure don't want to be known as a sex slave because that's not what I'm looking for in a relationship. Nor do I want to get married again--ever! I want a LTR. I want and need a Master who can control me, but is willing to put up with my sassy mouth. A strict but benevolent Master? I guess I'm trying to say that I'm something of a BRAT. I am an enigma to myself, never mind to Master. I think I'm unexplainable. Two more things: 1 - I've only been in the lifestyle two years and was collared by Master shortly after finding it; and 2 - O/our relationship is poly, which is hard to deal with at the best of times. He says His slaves are not in competition with each other, which is a crock. We compete for His time continually and He just can't see this. And there is NEVER enough time!!! Why am I into BDSM? I honestly don't know. I wish I had the answer to that, knew what it was and was satisfied with it. Keep it safe, sane, consensual . . . and fun. Sounds like maybe you need to find someone that fits you better. My answer is the same as someone else's: BDSM is fun. D/s means that I'm with someone who is strong enough and that I trust enough to give up my control. I love eing able to let go of the reins and know that someone else is capable of handling them.

Lashra -> RE: Why are we really into BDSM? (9/30/2007 6:55:01 PM)
I like living my life my own way. I enjoy having sex the way I want it and being in charge. I enjoy kinky sex and the primal energy that comes from it. I want a man who focuses on me and what I want, don't get me wrong what he wants is important too. But over the years I've learnt that a man who wants everything his way is NOT the man for me, we would end up killing each other. So why do I do it? Its a part of who I am. ~Lashra

Stephann -> RE: Why are we really into BDSM? (9/30/2007 7:18:10 PM)
The B, S + M parts (for me) are just enjoyable. If I dive deeper into it, I could say they are ways I can express powerful emotions and feelings that have no natural, socially acceptable place; throwbacks from tens of thousands of years ago, where mating rituals, competition for resources, and pure survival were a way of life. Evolutionarily speaking, we are a blink of an eye away from other primates. Our bodies are designed to work hard, to experience and embrace anger and fear. Civilization doesn't permit these to be physically expressed anywhere, save in fantasy (books, film, music), or in competitive sports. The D is the real reason I embrace 'BDSM.' I revel in the opportunity to be dominant with my partners. Dominance is a vehicle for me to be me; it isn't an end, but rather a means to an end of a more satisfying, intimate, and emotionally powerful relationship. I feel power, when I see a woman kneeling for me, obeying me, or when I am actively dominating her (holding her down, or simply holding her leash.) This doesn't mean she must be my slave, for me to enjoy her; it means I enjoy the fact that I can hold her submission. Stephan

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Why are we really into BDSM? (9/30/2007 9:08:51 PM)
I am into bdsm (aka the kinky activities) for the same reasons I am into non bdsm. They are enjoyable, they serve me and my life. I am into Ds (aks the relationship authority dynamic) because it fits who I am as an orientation, just as heterosexuals fit into their dynamics.

newsub27 -> RE: Why are we really into BDSM? (9/30/2007 9:29:10 PM)
Simple..........because it feels right!

MidMichCowboy -> RE: Why are we really into BDSM? (9/30/2007 10:51:38 PM)
I don't have a choice. Vanilla relationships don't work. So, I accept what I am.

breatheasone -> RE: Why are we really into BDSM? (9/30/2007 11:24:06 PM)
I'm here for the beer...... Yo, BARTENDER!!!!

ExSteelAgain -> RE: Why are we really into BDSM? (10/1/2007 1:20:55 AM)
I was looking for a new screensaver and came across a montage of Impressionist paintings online and it has me thinking of how D/s is understood. Viewing Monet, Manet, Cezanne and Degas we are not looking at what is actually there, but we feel the sensations created. Those paintings use bright colors and brush strokes that blur lines of the subject as they create feeling. If you take different people viewing an Impressionistic painting or being exposed to D/s, they don’t all get it. Some will be affected by the building effects of the color and pain while others will only wonder why they can’t see the subject clearly and why it hurts so much. WE have a different way of seeing and it is a breakthrough art of feeling, movement, honesty, sex and domination/submission. In our painting the bright colors of day coming in the upstairs bedroom window of your house in the woods slowly change as the evening light begins to veil everything in Impressionistic feeling and truth. The shadow of the moving flogger disappears in the dark, but you still feel it long after I've left.

RapidRon -> RE: Why are we really into BDSM? (10/1/2007 1:42:14 AM)
There was something about it for me ever since I was young, so it's in the prewire somehow. Maybe it has something to do with the intensity of experiences and stimulation. Perhaps in relationships, giving someone your complete trust as you are helpless or receiving that trust as a dominant fulfills some deeper desire to connect in the most natural and naked (figuratively) of ways--without such careful pretenses which are the norm. I know women whom I've had this kind of relationship with develop quickly a firm trust in me, as if they know I really want what is best for them. Ironically, I heard from people that they feel release when bound, and that the out-of-control that they feel helps to take the pressure off of their everyday; when they are in complete control of their taxing lives. I've also heard from someone that the pain from the bdsm physically helped to contrast and balance all the pain in their lives psycologically. There are probably a lot of reasons, many of them pretty deep within our psyches.

pompeii -> RE: Why are we really into BDSM? (10/1/2007 4:41:02 AM)
When you're at work or in social situations, you're always tremendously restrained by protocol. It's like a diplomatic mission where you can never say what it is you mean. You must maneuver coyly in every conversation. Compare that with a downright steamy BDSM session where you actually do what you really want to do and she always enjoys you being the animalistic male that you were born to be. That's what I like about BDSM.

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