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How does a new submissive handle the nervousness - 10/2/2007 3:26:45 PM

Hergirl0824

Posts: 119
Joined: 10/2/2007
Status: offline

Good evening everyone

i am a submissive that is about to take a giant step forward and i need some advice....OK maybe i should give a little background. Ma'am and i met a few months ago and began talking, by email, IM, phone. i had no idea what a D/s lifestyle was about but considered myself somewhat sexually submissive to my partners as in i perfered that my partner took the lead in any activity that we tried. Afte talking with Ma'am for quite sometime she asked if i had ever been interested in the lifestyle and proceeded to show me places where i could get information. That was the end of the subject as far as she was concerned, i on the other hand could not get enough information. the more i read the more i began to see who and what i was really was...a submissive.
Ma'am and i continued our friendship, getting together for lunches and visits to each others home. i told her i wanted to learn more and She has been slowly showing me this world and i couldn't be happier. i informed Her last week that i felt i was ready to make the next step if She was interested in showing me the way. She said She definitely was.

Sorry i know i am being long winded here...so anyway W/we have set a date for next week to have O/our first scene together. i am so excited and feel completely ready but at the same time i am nervous beyond belief. What i was wondering is what advice experienced submissive would give to me to help get over my nerves?

thank you all so much in advance for any replies i receive.

Post #: 1

RE: How does a new submissive handle the nervousness - 10/2/2007 3:30:33 PM

HisCompletely

Posts: 53
Joined: 10/1/2007
Status: offline

Well nervousness is normal, if you wait 8 months for that, imagine that??? Nervousness is something I suppose you will experience no matter what, but your dom/domme will know and let them handle it :) Good luck to you.

(in reply to Hergirl0824)

Post #: 2

RE: How does a new submissive handle the nervousness - 10/2/2007 3:36:36 PM

Archer

Posts: 3207
Joined: 3/11/2005
Status: offline

Why get over the nerves? Just enjoy the ride, nherves tell you you are excited about the possibilities good and bad.

(in reply to HisCompletely)

Post #: 3

RE: How does a new submissive handle the nervousness - 10/2/2007 4:03:22 PM

laurell3

Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline

I'm generally much different at a first meeting than I really am normally, so I tell them that, that I will be nervous and quiet. I kind of have grown to appreciate the nervous tension though, just remember no one's going to lynch you, if it doesn't work out, it doesn't.
Good luck!
l

(in reply to Archer)

Post #: 4

RE: How does a new submissive handle the nervousness - 10/2/2007 4:15:05 PM

youngsubgeoff

Posts: 900
Joined: 9/25/2007
From: The Asylum
Status: offline

everyone is nervous the first time. You wouldent be human if you werent. And Ill let you in on a little secret. The Domme you meeting is nervous too, beleive me.

(in reply to laurell3)

Post #: 5

RE: How does a new submissive handle the nervousness - 10/2/2007 4:24:29 PM

Decimus

Posts: 174
Joined: 9/17/2007
Status: offline

Feed on your nervousness, accept and embrace it, it will be there, you might as well learn to use it towards something helpful. Turn it into adrenaline :) That will increase your senses AND increase your tolerance to pain.

_____________________________

Here is my story that some people have asked for, www.beginningofdreams.com

(in reply to youngsubgeoff)

Post #: 6

RE: How does a new submissive handle the nervousness - 10/2/2007 6:00:48 PM

Hergirl0824

Posts: 119
Joined: 10/2/2007
Status: offline

thank you all for your messages here
i will do my best to relax and let Ma'am worry about the details and use my nervousness to my and Her pleasure

(in reply to Decimus)

Post #: 7

RE: How does a new submissive handle the nervousness - 10/2/2007 6:31:04 PM

TNstepsout

Posts: 1558
Joined: 8/3/2005
Status: offline

Nerves are nerves, there's not much you can do about it. You are about to do something completely new and different and it's normal to be nervous. It sounds to me like you are in good hands. She has guided you very slowly and introduced you and allowed you to learn and come to your own conclusions. I think she is someone who will respect your limits and be very conscious of your nerves and inexperience.

(in reply to Hergirl0824)

Post #: 8

RE: How does a new submissive handle the nervousness - 10/2/2007 8:30:45 PM

Arastella

Posts: 262
Joined: 7/22/2006
Status: offline

God, do I know how you feel hunny. You sound like my echo. My only advice to you would be not to think about it so much. The more you think about it, the more it's gonna stress you out and that's not healthy. Distract yourself with just about anything else that you can think of. That's what I do, otherwise I'd drive myself to insanity with these nerves of mine. So just relax and don't let it get to you so much, if you stress TOO much you may affect the outcome of the experience. Too much nervousness can lead to a less enjoyable experience.

(in reply to Hergirl0824)

Post #: 9

RE: How does a new submissive handle the nervousness - 10/3/2007 12:31:35 AM

Hergirl0824

Posts: 119
Joined: 10/2/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: TNstepsout

Nerves are nerves, there's not much you can do about it. You are about to do something completely new and different and it's normal to be nervous. It sounds to me like you are in good hands. She has guided you very slowly and introduced you and allowed you to learn and come to your own conclusions. I think she is someone who will respect your limits and be very conscious of your nerves and inexperience.

thank you for reminding me of this...with all the nervousness i sometimes forget that Ma'am has always been very sensative to my needs and i am sure this time will be no different
i greatly appreciate your comments

(in reply to TNstepsout)

Post #: 10

RE: How does a new submissive handle the nervousness - 10/3/2007 12:34:32 AM

Hergirl0824

Posts: 119
Joined: 10/2/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Arastella

God, do I know how you feel hunny. You sound like my echo. My only advice to you would be not to think about it so much. The more you think about it, the more it's gonna stress you out and that's not healthy. Distract yourself with just about anything else that you can think of. That's what I do, otherwise I'd drive myself to insanity with these nerves of mine. So just relax and don't let it get to you so much, if you stress TOO much you may affect the outcome of the experience. Too much nervousness can lead to a less enjoyable experience.

thank you for your reply..it helps to know that someone else felt the way i am feeling now..i am trying to relax and keep busy with everything else that is going on in my life...i just know that the next six days are going to go by very slowly lol

and i want to thank everyone that took the time to reply to me...your words of advice will not go unnoticed

(in reply to Arastella)

Post #: 11

RE: How does a new submissive handle the nervousness - 10/3/2007 12:36:25 AM

girlygurl

Posts: 6973
Joined: 8/5/2007
From: in the palms of His hands
Status: offline

I was nervous the first time I played with my Sir.. and the second and third. With time the nerves went away, although there are times even now after 10 months I get nervous. I think it's my strong desire to please Him that does it.

Anyway, my mother said to me once "become friends with your fear/nervousness" umm yea, it sounds stupid but really it's true. Just get that you're going to be nervous and whatever you feel is what you should be feeling. You'll be fine and by the sounds of it, the two of you will have a wonderful time together.

_____________________________

i see You

happily forever one

(in reply to Arastella)

Post #: 12

RE: How does a new submissive handle the nervousness - 10/3/2007 12:37:10 AM

twistedkytten

Posts: 240
Joined: 9/8/2006
Status: offline

embrace them nerves! *grins*.. I don't know about the rest of the folks here... but I still get nervous whenever Master is near! my hands shake making dialing His phone number difficult.
dont forget to breathe... unless your Mistress says not to of course... *grins*

_____________________________

Obedience is life, girl lives to serve her Master

(in reply to Hergirl0824)

Post #: 13

RE: How does a new submissive handle the nervousness - 10/3/2007 12:50:27 AM

Hergirl0824

Posts: 119
Joined: 10/2/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: girlygurl

I was nervous the first time I played with my Sir.. and the second and third. With time the nerves went away, although there are times even now after 10 months I get nervous. I think it's my strong desire to please Him that does it.

i think that is one of the biggest parts of my nervousness... i worry that i won't please Her enough

_____________________________

collared to Mistress Sizzlynn

When i let go of what i am, i become what i might be

(in reply to girlygurl)

Post #: 14

RE: How does a new submissive handle the nervousness - 10/3/2007 12:52:09 AM

Hergirl0824

Posts: 119
Joined: 10/2/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: twistedkytten

embrace them nerves! *grins*.. I don't know about the rest of the folks here... but I still get nervous whenever Master is near! my hands shake making dialing His phone number difficult.
dont forget to breathe... unless your Mistress says not to of course... *grins*

thank you..i will try to remember that the nerves will make the experience even deeper

_____________________________

collared to Mistress Sizzlynn

When i let go of what i am, i become what i might be

(in reply to twistedkytten)

Post #: 15

RE: How does a new submissive handle the nervousness - 10/3/2007 1:18:11 AM

favesclava

Posts: 1608
Joined: 2/15/2007
Status: offline

[/quote]

i think that is one of the biggest parts of my nervousness... i worry that i won't please Her enough

[/quote]
the wonderful thing about being a submissive is that you dont have to worry if you're pleasing. They let us know and usually how to remedy it.
i used to be so nervous i was unable to sleep at all when next to Him. now He orders me to sleep and i pretty much fall out. still get nervous, my heart still beats as fast and i still get breathless.
enjoy, good luck.

(in reply to Hergirl0824)

Post #: 16

RE: How does a new submissive handle the nervousness - 10/3/2007 1:21:43 AM

MRandme

Posts: 661
Joined: 9/24/2007
Status: offline

my Master is also my first. The same steps you took -- interacting online, by phone, etc -- for weeks before we actually met made the nervousness when the time came nearly unbearable. He told me that my nervousness, my newness and inexperience in the whole thing was part of the fun. He liked the fact that i'd never done any of this before and that He got the honor of teaching me.

you are a virgin again, really. And you've been lucky enough to find someone who is going to make that first time a wonderful thing to remember. The second time you meet with Her, those "OMG what-if" nerves are going to turn into "OMG i can't wait" nerves.

Don't let the fact that you are nervous bother you. It certainly isn't going to bother Her.

angie

(in reply to Hergirl0824)

Post #: 17

RE: How does a new submissive handle the nervousness - 10/3/2007 9:07:07 AM

Hergirl0824

Posts: 119
Joined: 10/2/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MRandme

you are a virgin again, really. And you've been lucky enough to find someone who is going to make that first time a wonderful thing to remember. The second time you meet with Her, those "OMG what-if" nerves are going to turn into "OMG i can't wait" nerves.

Don't let the fact that you are nervous bother you. It certainly isn't going to bother Her.

angie

Wow i hadn't really thought about it that way...thank you...your reply really put things in perspective for me

_____________________________

collared to Mistress Sizzlynn

When i let go of what i am, i become what i might be

(in reply to MRandme)

Post #: 18

RE: How does a new submissive handle the nervousness - 10/9/2007 7:26:12 PM

slaveelle

Posts: 116
Joined: 9/28/2007
From: Australia
Status: offline

I agree with Archer. Getting anxious and nervous about a scene is a positive emotion. Enjoy the time you have together. Take a few deep breaths every now and then and just relish in the experience. I hope its a wonderful experience for both of you.

_____________________________

"No bond is stronger than that of the Beast"

(in reply to Hergirl0824)

Post #: 19

RE: How does a new submissive handle the nervousness - 10/9/2007 7:30:45 PM

Hergirl0824

Posts: 119
Joined: 10/2/2007
Status: offline

thank ou very much...i was completely overwhelmed with my nerves but it turned out to be the most wonderful experience i have had

_____________________________

collared to Mistress Sizzlynn

When i let go of what i am, i become what i might be

(in reply to slaveelle)

Post #: 20

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