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RE: How does a new submissive handle the nervousness - 10/10/2007 7:56:01 AM

unleashedmind

Posts: 1
Joined: 8/9/2007
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I have to agree with almost everyones comments-
My first scene was the most nerve rackin but I fed off that and made it apart of that scene as I didnt know what would happen next-
But I do say this to you-
If things get *To much* for you ask to cool down and take a min if you need it- Specking from my first time- I passed out from excitment and nerves and I actually cound up hurting myself whenI did so-
But what you feel as subs have felt at one time or other- So work with it and make it your own- Your submission can never be taken from you- Embace it and love it!

~~UnleashedMind~~

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RE: How does a new submissive handle the nervousness - 10/10/2007 8:07:35 AM

slaveelle

Posts: 116
Joined: 9/28/2007
From: Australia
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Hergirl,
I am so happy to hear your new experience was so positive and enjoyable.
congrats

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RE: How does a new submissive handle the nervousness - 10/10/2007 5:34:01 PM

Hergirl0824

Posts: 119
Joined: 10/2/2007
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thank you so much
and i want to thank everyone who left comments and offered me advice and suuport it really did mean a great deal to me

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RE: How does a new submissive handle the nervousness - 10/11/2007 3:40:17 PM

lonlyrossInNeed

Posts: 3144
Joined: 10/8/2005
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Being Nervouse is noraml
take your time let your partner know you are nervouse dont just say its ok im fine when you know you are not
and embrace your body for what you hope you will like :)

puppy

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RE: How does a new submissive handle the nervousness - 10/11/2007 7:33:40 PM

Jennie13093

Posts: 21
Joined: 1/18/2007
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Going through the same thing tonight and let me tell all of you, i have to work with people all day long, both staff and clients and never do i get nervous doing what i do best. But tonight just waiting for him to call me wants to almost put me over the edge. The only thing stopping me from totally losing it are his words that he wants me. Plain and simple. This Dom wants me. Wow!!! Can't get any more excited than that. So to calm my nerves i keep running through dialogues that we have put together, him and me, Dom and sub, Master and slave. Yikes.......

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RE: How does a new submissive handle the nervousness - 10/12/2007 8:49:39 AM

MadameMarque

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Joined: 3/19/2005
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Your nervousness can be very provocative, to a dominant. It means you're all charged up about her and what you're doing together, which is a compliment. It also means that you're vulnerable and excited, which ought to bring out the predator, in her.

When you're together, instead of being self-conscious, be conscious of her. You'll be amazed how that will improve the experience.

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RE: How does a new submissive handle the nervousness - 10/12/2007 10:03:17 AM

brightspot

Posts: 3052
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I don't think you can do much about your nervousness, outside of deep-breathing and possitive self-talk.

Nervousness a normal reaction to doing things for the first time, so it will always be there, it's how you handle that counts.
Also if you are meeting a Domina who has good intentions and good skills , she will put you at ease, worrying is never helpful.

Missy.

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RE: How does a new submissive handle the nervousness - 10/12/2007 9:36:35 PM

sweetcreeangel

Posts: 70
Joined: 6/3/2007
Status: offline

it is alright to be nervous and would be surpised if you werent.....to get over your nervousious mediate,relax and always remeber to breathe at the beginning of the play make sure you have a safe word so if you feel uncomfortable at any time you may use it and above all else trust and have fun well doing so
be well

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RE: How does a new submissive handle the nervousness - 10/14/2007 7:45:03 PM

HopeLost

Posts: 80
Joined: 2/7/2007
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if you werent nervous it wouldnt be as much fun would it? nothing is worth doing unless there is a little fear. remember that and enjoy your first time. it will never happen again.

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RE: How does a new submissive handle the nervousness - 10/21/2007 12:38:01 PM

HisBetaSub

Posts: 3
Joined: 10/21/2007
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Oh, the nerves?I am also new and though I have been seeing my Sir for a month, now, W/we had what I would consider O/our first real scene (if that what it is called). I guess, in my unknowing mind I call it the first D/s experience. It was pretty simple, actually. Just a simple kneeling position, but, oh,, man, was I nervous. Didn't want to look childish, stupid, whatever. I was nervous, until his voice called me to come to him......then the rest followed through including all that was before that night. The intensity was stronger, maybe because of the build up of the days before. The nervousness will be there until you get more comfortable with whatit is you are doing and her reactions to it. Look at me talking like I know....I think I just know myself.

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RE: How does a new submissive handle the nervousness - 10/21/2007 2:22:22 PM

bostontwo

Posts: 43
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I had a first-scene last night; I was of course very nervous, but I knew from experience that sucking on mints (or candies, or anything) tends to calm me down. Weird coping mechanism, activate!

I must've gone through two dozen Altoids during the night. My mouth is all tingly today, but it helped, and next time I won't be so nervous.

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RE: How does a new submissive handle the nervousness - 10/21/2007 2:45:40 PM

SlaveIvee

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Joined: 10/16/2007
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Nervousness is a good thing. It helps you tell whether or not a situation is "good" ot "bad". Keep the nerves......Sometimes the nerves enhance a scene too!

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RE: How does a new submissive handle the nervousness - 10/21/2007 2:49:56 PM

Lordandmaster

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I agree with all the people who say that the nervousness is natural and even desirable. Think about it--if you weren't nervous, you wouldn't be excited about what you're about to do. If you're nervous, that means it's real. And yes, it enhances the scene. You can let the dom know that you're nervous, and if he knows what he's doing, he'll use it to heighten all your sensations. There's an art to keeping you centered and off-kilter all at the same time.

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