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Minor pet peeve about individuals looking for partners - 7/25/2005 9:15:49 AM   
perverseangelic


Posts: 2625
Joined: 2/2/2004
From: Davis, Ca
Status: offline 		I like to chat with people, and enjoy getting e-mail from individuals. However, one thing has become an increacingly large pet peeve with me.

Many people I talk to tell me that they have been looking for x-years for a partner. I ask them if they're invovled in their local community. They answer "There isn't one." 'I can't find one" or "no one around here does that."

I google their town, and "bdsm munch" and within less than a minute have three or four local groups that hold regular meetings.

I know this is something very little and minor, but it bugs me. I wish people would simply say they don't -want- to be involved in their community, or aren't comfortable with it. God knows I'm not comfortable with the community I've met here.

Anyway, silly little pet peeve, I know, but it's been bugging me and bugging me.

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RE: Minor pet peeve about individuals looking for partners - 7/25/2005 9:38:07 AM   
ShiftedJewel


Posts: 2492
Joined: 12/2/2004
Status: offline
quote:

Many people I talk to tell me that they have been looking for x-years for a partner. I ask them if they're invovled in their local community. They answer "There isn't one." 'I can't find one" or "no one around here does that."


I have to add to that....

Add the fact that they have maybe, if we're lucky... two words on their profile...lol

edited to add.... and no pic

Jewel

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RE: Minor pet peeve about individuals looking for partners - 7/25/2005 9:47:46 AM   
AAkasha


Posts: 4429
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: perverseangelic

I like to chat with people, and enjoy getting e-mail from individuals. However, one thing has become an increacingly large pet peeve with me.

Many people I talk to tell me that they have been looking for x-years for a partner. I ask them if they're invovled in their local community. They answer "There isn't one." 'I can't find one" or "no one around here does that."

I google their town, and "bdsm munch" and within less than a minute have three or four local groups that hold regular meetings.

I know this is something very little and minor, but it bugs me. I wish people would simply say they don't -want- to be involved in their community, or aren't comfortable with it. God knows I'm not comfortable with the community I've met here.

Anyway, silly little pet peeve, I know, but it's been bugging me and bugging me.


They're either lying or their lazy, two qualities you don't want in a partner anyway. So cut them off.

Akasha

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Don't email me here, email me at [email protected]

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RE: Minor pet peeve about individuals looking for partners - 7/25/2005 9:48:59 AM   
EmeraldSlave2


Posts: 3645
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Thanks for the detailed subject line!!!!!

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RE: Minor pet peeve about individuals looking for partners - 7/25/2005 11:32:34 AM   
Phoenixandnika


Posts: 748
Joined: 4/22/2005
From: Aberdeen Maryland
Status: offline 		Along these lines. My Master and I have ajoint profile. It clearly states we are new to the area and looking to meet people involved within the lifestyle but not looking to become poly or to meet people to " play" with but I have lost track of how many do not read the profile, do not care, or can not read it. My Master and I have gotten to the point where we simply delete the emails and do not even respond to them.

nika, Phoenix's deviant slave

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RE: Minor pet peeve about individuals looking for partners - 7/25/2005 12:36:46 PM   
Lordandmaster


Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline 		Maybe they just don't KNOW about the events in their area?

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RE: Minor pet peeve about individuals looking for partners - 7/25/2005 1:29:05 PM   
caitlyn


Posts: 3473
Joined: 12/22/2004
Status: offline 		This isn't a pet peeve or anything, but I always wonder about these guys that are wealthy and want a girl to move in with them and be their submissive or baby girl or whatever ... and that she wouldn't have to work, just clean house, cook and be a trophy girl in the evening.

I have two friend that work as dancers, and they tell me that half the girls they work with would learn to be proper submissives, just to get that kind of offer ... and you have to figure that if a girl works at a strip club she is at least half way good looking. I know my two friends are both hot.

So, why don't these guys with all this experience and cash, go hit some strip clubs? That has to be as good as chatting people up on a website.

caitlyn

(in reply to Lordandmaster)
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RE: Minor pet peeve about individuals looking for partners - 7/25/2005 1:31:55 PM   
Rover


Posts: 2634
Joined: 6/28/2004
Status: offline 		Because girls at a strip club have a motto ("show me the green") that is a bit too "real"?

John

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RE: Minor pet peeve about individuals looking for partners - 7/25/2005 1:33:01 PM   
stormsfate


Posts: 849
Joined: 2/1/2005
Status: offline 		Call me cynical, but I strongly doubt there is "real money" on these boards looking for someone to bring home to momma. Real money tends to stick with real money and "Pretty Woman" was a nice fairytale :)


f

(in reply to caitlyn)
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RE: Minor pet peeve about individuals looking for partners - 7/25/2005 1:53:04 PM   
pinkpleasures


Posts: 1114
Status: offline
i am trying, but i am unable to find a person to attend with that i'm comfortable with. i do not want to go with any Man who has a desire to f**k me, whom i have already turned down for whatever reason. The subbies have been somewhat reluctant. But i will continue trying. i am just not bold enough to attend alone.

And there is another "issue". i do not want to stay in Cleveland. i'd like to return to Florida as soon as i get some medical problems under control; and that transition will take alot of planning, etc. So i may spend another winter in Cleveland *Big Sigh*. i'd sure like to make friends in the local community but i am really not looking for a Dom or Master living here. Though i suppose it's when you're not looking that things tend to happen.

pinkpleasures

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RE: Minor pet peeve about individuals looking for partners - 7/25/2005 2:07:01 PM   
sub4hire


Posts: 6775
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

But i will continue trying. i am just not bold enough to attend alone.


Pink,
E-mail the organizers and tell them your fears. You won't be alone that way.


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RE: Minor pet peeve about individuals looking for partners - 7/25/2005 2:27:13 PM   
slavedesires


Posts: 669
Joined: 3/2/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sub4hire

quote:

But i will continue trying. i am just not bold enough to attend alone.


Pink,
E-mail the organizers and tell them your fears. You won't be alone that way.





I did that sub.

My name isnt shy for nothing.
So i emailed the local sub meeting organizer and told her i really would like to go to "a" meeting but found myself stuck to the house when the meeting time came, even tho i said i would attend...out of social anxiety.
She asked for my phone number and literally talked with me the whole way there.
I felt cared for by a sub who understood my social anxiety fears.

~~shy

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RE: Minor pet peeve about individuals looking for partners - 7/25/2005 2:31:45 PM   
Rover


Posts: 2634
Joined: 6/28/2004
Status: offline 		Some communities have "outreach" programs specifically to help those new to the lifestyle, or new to the area, feel comfortable taking that first step towards becoming actively involved.

By way of example, our local group, Pittsburgh Leather Archives for Newcomers (PLAN) can be viewed at www.pittsburghleather.org (is it kosher to post links?)

John

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Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Minor pet peeve about individuals looking for partners - 7/25/2005 2:52:40 PM   
dominmd


Posts: 474
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		My excuse was the same to a point. I can seem to find anything I want on the internet. It took me weeks to go to a local shop after I found their website. Then many more months to go to a meeting for a local group. The night of my first meeting while at the shop, I was told something like this "They always say they are too busy to go". I had plans for that night, but I cancelled. I decided it was time to go and meet people more like me.

So, sometimes yes people are just flat out lazy. While other times we are just too nervous. It is just another fear to conquer. Look at one of my first posts, Emerald pointed out that there are PLENTY of people in my area. BTW, thanks Em

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RE: Minor pet peeve about individuals looking for partners - 7/25/2005 2:57:49 PM   
EmeraldSlave2


Posts: 3645
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: dominmd
Look at one of my first posts, Emerald pointed out that there are PLENTY of people in my area. BTW, thanks Em


LOL I will need to come and read this again AFTER tonight's board meeting.

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Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Minor pet peeve about individuals looking for partners - 7/25/2005 5:12:53 PM   
BeachMystress


Posts: 2156
Joined: 4/3/2004
From: Naples Island- Long Beach CA - Southern California
Status: offline
A lot of people have no clue how to find their local scene, so I'm constantly giving people ways to find munches/events near them. I'm not foolish enough to think they are going to run out and attend the munches right off, since it is hard for many people to go into a strange social situation. But once they know it is there, they at least have the chance.
quote:

By way of example, our local group, Pittsburgh Leather Archives for Newcomers (PLAN) can be viewed at www.pittsburghleather.org (is it kosher to post links?)


It is very kosher, and appreciated, to post links. I grew up about an hour outside of Pittsburgh and have a friend who is Domme there. I've been trying to find her more information about the local scene, and haven't been thrilled with what I've found. I like the link you've posted a lot more. Thanks!

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RE: Minor pet peeve about individuals looking for partners - 7/25/2005 6:53:54 PM   
perverseangelic


Posts: 2625
Joined: 2/2/2004
From: Davis, Ca
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster

Maybe they just don't KNOW about the events in their area?



See, they tell me they've looked and looked and looked, and that events locally don't exist. If they didn't say they'd looked, it'd be no big thing, y'know?

I am totally not upset with people who don't have the desire to look. Heck, I don't have the desire to do lots of things. I just HATE it when people tell me theyv'e looked ALL OVER and that NO ONE locally does this.

~shrug~

Like I said, just a random pet peeve.

< Message edited by perverseangelic -- 7/25/2005 6:55:59 PM >

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RE: Minor pet peeve about individuals looking for partners - 7/25/2005 6:56:06 PM   
LdyAuburn


Posts: 179
Joined: 5/9/2004
Status: offline 		To add a little to your pet peeve, I do get annoyed with them when you have gone to the trouble of telling them about local events, func tions and organisers in their area. Some months down the track you see they are still saying they havnt found anything local


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RE: Minor pet peeve about individuals looking for partners - 7/25/2005 7:04:07 PM   
imtempting


Posts: 1280
Joined: 2/11/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LdyAuburn

To add a little to your pet peeve, I do get annoyed with them when you have gone to the trouble of telling them about local events, func tions and organisers in their area. Some months down the track you see they are still saying they havnt found anything local




Feels a little guilty...

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RE: Minor pet peeve about individuals looking for partners - 7/25/2005 7:04:45 PM   
PrincessinLatex


Posts: 191
Joined: 7/4/2005
Status: offline 		This isn't directed toward anyone in particular. . .
and I'm just playing devil's advocate here but even if you find a lot of links for groups in a certain area. . .it doesn't meant that they are still active. Things *really* died down in the Atlanta area. You might still find links for PEP, KPOG, and the Sanctuary. . . .but they all shut down.

Just food for thought.


Princess

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