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What is your sub to you? - 10/2/2007 4:55:07 PM   
LostMyself


Posts: 72
Joined: 9/4/2007
Status: offline 		Most of us agree that a sub is property, but do most doms consider a sub as a significant other as well?  My former master and mistress referred to me as their girlfriend sometimes (mostly around like strangers and stuff) but it's still a relationship between two people with emotions, thoughts, etc.  I have yet to speak to a dom who wasn't looking for a sub who is interesting, intelligent, has similar interests, etc.  Despite the D/s dynamic, if it's an ongoing monogamous (or triad, whatever) all parties are human.  I guess from reading a lot of the posts on the boards that seem so rigid in protocol, I wonder how others deal with the dynamic of more or less equal intelligence in addition to a D/s dynamic.  The dominant is still looking for a companion and such, right?


< Message edited by LostMyself -- 10/2/2007 4:59:18 PM >
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: What is your sub to you? - 10/2/2007 4:59:39 PM   
LATEXBABY64


Posts: 2107
Joined: 4/8/2004
Status: offline 		it is all in how you proceve it. all relationships are different. no two are a like how a person bonds with another. is the path people decide in the relationship

(in reply to LostMyself)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: What is your sub to you? - 10/2/2007 4:59:51 PM   
PsychoticWolf


Posts: 91
Joined: 7/13/2007
Status: offline 		Unless you have a slave who's completely emotionless and wants to live that way, behind every submissive their's a lady (for most), and a person, who has a heart, and feelings.
They as well need to be cherished and rewarded when they do well. In most monogamous relationships, they will still be your girlfriend, your lover, your friend, your pet, and whatever else you consider them.

_____________________________

"If what you seek in Reality, turns out to be Fantasy, but your Fantasy becomes Reality. . . In which can you put hope into, to find *the* person."

(in reply to LostMyself)
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RE: What is your sub to you? - 10/2/2007 5:03:56 PM   
EclipseAbove


Posts: 220
Joined: 8/11/2005
Status: offline 		I can't speak for anyone else, but for me my slave is my wife and my significant other.  In many respects she is an equal partner in the relationship as far as her contributions are concerned (intelligence, friendship, etc.), but she also defers to me when it comes to decisions.  Our involvement with D/s has evolved with the relationship, so I don't think we ever really "dealt" with it as a separate issue.

(in reply to LostMyself)
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RE: What is your sub to you? - 10/2/2007 5:12:37 PM   
InkedMaster


Posts: 342
Joined: 7/14/2007
Status: offline 		What is my sub to me? well she's many things, she's everything, she is my world, my slave, my confidant, my cumguzzler, my life, my slut, my equal, my whore, she is one I can go to and ask advice and know the answer I get is one to be valued. Just the other week I asked her advice on me buying another Harley, now not any ordinary HD but an old rat 81 shovel, I listened to her, took what she had to say to heart and passed on the deal. Am I sorry, hell no. You see we are a team, we enrich each others life and we complete each other as an individual. So while she may endure and suffer for me out of love...she is everything to me

_____________________________

TOURETTE SYNDROME: It's no mother f*cking joke, you God d*mn c*ck sucking f*ck!

"I need this parade like I need a fucking hole in my head." - John F. Kennedy

-Owner of eyesopened- and damn PROUD of her!


(in reply to PsychoticWolf)
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RE: What is your sub to you? - 10/2/2007 5:15:29 PM   
SexyBlackMan2


Posts: 108
Status: offline 		Emotional connection is what makes a wonderful relationship. I don't think you can have a true relationship without it.

(in reply to LostMyself)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: What is your sub to you? - 10/2/2007 5:20:53 PM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		Angel is my intellectual equal, my baby, my partner, my best friend, my playtoy... but he is not my boyfriend.
I do not have the romantic feelings necessary toward him nor does he toward me.  Is it posible they might develop... sure. But they arent necessary right now for us to be perfectly happy.
I have had subs and slaves that were my significant others before, and I have had others that are strictly proerty and playmates.  Depends on the boy or the girl and the situation.  Even within my own relationship history, the answer is never the same twice.

DV


_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to SexyBlackMan2)
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RE: What is your sub to you? - 10/2/2007 5:41:20 PM   
LadyAmayeta


Posts: 8
Joined: 9/19/2007
Status: offline 		My baby is my pet, my lover, my slave, my toy, my boyfriend, my foot rest, my knight, my protector, my advisor, my bitch, my lover and my best friend.  He is my world, my everything and my most prized possession.  

(in reply to DiurnalVampire)
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RE: What is your sub to you? - 10/2/2007 5:41:55 PM   
Cloudz


Posts: 836
Joined: 9/13/2005
Status: offline 		He is my love.

_____________________________

Enjoy the Journey,
~Cloudz

"Life isn't about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain."


(in reply to LostMyself)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: What is your sub to you? - 10/2/2007 5:57:58 PM   
Celeste43


Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
Status: offline 		I like to describe us as CEO/executive assistant. CEOs value their executive assistants enormously. They keep their schedules straight, they can remind them of problems needing to be solved, they buy presents for their mothers, they make doctor appointments etc. The CEO will never be as efficient without her as he is with her.

She gathers essential information needed to make a decision, getting reports from all different people and presents it to him. He needs her to be as intelligent and competent as possible.

The same is true here but even moreso, because we not only respect each other's competence, we love each other. However he still makes the final decisions.

(in reply to Cloudz)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: What is your sub to you? - 10/2/2007 6:08:28 PM   
CuriousLord


Posts: 3911
Joined: 4/3/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LostMyself

Most of us agree that a sub is property


slaves are property.  sub's are guided, controlled to some degree, but they are not possessed.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LostMyself
but do most doms consider a sub as a significant other as well?


It dependson the relationship.  We do not know what are "most"- the best people can give you is their particular prejustice.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LostMyself
I have yet to speak to a dom who wasn't looking for a sub who is interesting, intelligent, has similar interests, etc.


Many claim to be looking for their equal.  (It's important to note that most individuals are sorely unable to appreciate those more intelligent than them.  Most, when saying that they're seeking an "intelligent" other mean that they are seeking another of similar intelligence.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LostMyself
I wonder how others deal with the dynamic of more or less equal intelligence in addition to a D/s dynamic.


I am at a loss to understand fulfilling relationships in which the Dom is less intelligent than the sub.  A leader, by the nature of making the great decisions, seems to be the one with the greatest need for intelligence.  How could a sub stand for being led by someone she could see through?  Someone, to her, who was simplistic?

However, I've not found too many issues with dealing with slaves of just about any intelligence level.  When one does not follow for reason, the analogous emotion to a manual override- love and devotion- seems to maintain the dynamic regardless.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LostMyself
The dominant is still looking for a companion and such, right?


Could be.  Or a pet.  Or a servant.  Or, oddly enough, a guardian.

(in reply to LostMyself)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: What is your sub to you? - 10/2/2007 7:04:10 PM   
feralcat


Posts: 116
Joined: 10/22/2005
Status: offline 		My boy is my pet, my muse, my sounding board, my shoulder-to-cry-on, my bitch, my lover, my errand runner, my alarm clock, my guinea pig, my rubber toy, my "can tell him anything" friend, my advisor, my "muscle" when I need it.... ;-) and so much more. We compliment each other well. I wouldn't want it any other way.

Feral

(in reply to LostMyself)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: What is your sub to you? - 10/2/2007 7:16:15 PM   
DocRudy


Posts: 153
Joined: 9/19/2007
Status: offline 		She serves me, is my pet, my slave, my property, but she is also my best friend, future wife, and future mother of my children. In short, she is everything to me.

-DR

(in reply to LostMyself)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: What is your sub to you? - 10/2/2007 7:40:30 PM   
downkitty


Posts: 224
Joined: 10/1/2007
Status: offline 		He calls me his pet, and I like that. 

He also calls me slutface, but that's ok, I like that too!

(in reply to DocRudy)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: What is your sub to you? - 10/2/2007 7:53:28 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Depends on the relationship.  In the past, my owners were my owners- I was not their girlfriend, companion, sweetheart or lover.  They usually already had a primary for those purposes.

My current relationship, we are partners in just about every sense of the word.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to downkitty)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: What is your sub to you? - 10/2/2007 8:53:19 PM   
Missokyst


Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline 		I was never "property", and never wished to be that.  I have always done this as a significant other, bf/gf relationship.  As someone who recently leased a big dumpster, and tossed out 20 yrs of my life's "stuff"  I don't see property as a valuable commodity.  I see it as last years trend.  I would hope for more than that.
Kyst
quote:

ORIGINAL: LostMyself

Most of us agree that a sub is property, but do most doms consider a sub as a significant other as well? 



_____________________________

pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding ~Gibran, Kahlil

“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”
― Bob Marley


(in reply to LostMyself)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: What is your sub to you? - 10/2/2007 9:23:57 PM   
KiandPhoenix


Posts: 205
Joined: 8/1/2007
Status: offline 		For me, Phoenix and first and foremost my friend, then my lover/companion/finance/partner, and last my sub. When we have a fight, or need to look at her submission for adjustment, we revert to the lover side. If we have a huge fight (rarely) we stand by friends first, and treat each other as we would a friend rather than an enemy. I think this is why I remain friends with my ex's. Will my next partner be the same? Maybe, maybe not. We have discussed some possible additions to our house as girlfriends, and others as just service oriented slaves, depending on the person and their desires.

Currently Phoenix is considering her first male slave. Of the people who she is choosing from, the ones she feels fit her the best are not the type of people she can see herself in a romantic relationship with, and therefore they are being viewed by her as property. This fits with the desires of the people she is looking at, so it will be a very large contrast to our relationship.

In both cases we expect intelligence. If we are left alone with someone, we expect to be able to carry on a conversation with them. We have to have some things in common or else we are not compatible.
~Ki

(in reply to Missokyst)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: What is your sub to you? - 10/2/2007 9:55:17 PM   
Honsoku


Posts: 422
Joined: 6/26/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CuriousLord

I am at a loss to understand fulfilling relationships in which the Dom is less intelligent than the sub. A leader, by the nature of making the great decisions, seems to be the one with the greatest need for intelligence. How could a sub stand for being led by someone she could see through? Someone, to her, who was simplistic?



Hijack:

Intelligence comes in many forms. I don't think the dominant always has to be more intelligent, just wise enough that the submissive can have faith in the quality of the dominant's decisions. That said, I think the vast majority of submissives would prefer someone they thought was more intelligent than they were. Since there aren't a whole lot of (if any) good objective ways to measure intelligence, being considered more intelligent or not would largely be a matter of the other person's opinion.

Now back to your regularly scheduled programming.

(in reply to CuriousLord)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: What is your sub to you? - 10/3/2007 8:53:09 AM   
WickedMs


Posts: 4
Joined: 9/15/2007
Status: offline 		My slave is a very special gift. She is my property and even though she has consented to not ask for release one understands the reality of her ongoing affirmations of her submission to me. I am very fond of her but I know that she'll never be a wife or girlfriend to me. I do love her for what she is to me, which is my property.

Steven

(in reply to Honsoku)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: What is your sub to you? - 10/3/2007 9:17:12 AM   
interestedfemale


Posts: 18
Joined: 9/24/2007
Status: offline 		Ok since i'm very new, this might be a stupid question here, but i'm going for it.
recently like today, i received another email from someone reading our profiles.
i'm thinking that this person has it all wrong, and reading the posts on this thread i think i'm right.
so i guess what i'm looking for is some sort of validation here.
this is the email.

lost?   speak English much? 

D/s isn't about love, it's about control.   You are like a dog that needs to be trained.  You clearly need a lot. 

Good luck to both of you.
 
thank you everyone in advance
warmly
maddie

(in reply to WickedMs)
Profile   Post #: 20
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