Stephann
Posts: 4214
Joined: 12/27/2006
From: Portland, OR
Status: offline
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I've done it. I don't regret moving to Chile even a little bit. I was able to find myself in a way I never could have here in the US.
Your milage may vary, of course. From what I know of the situation, I'd say go for it; but with a few caveats and reasons. Go, because you're obviously not content in your current life. This isn't to say you're miserable; I think everyone should travel a little, for the sake of travelling alone. Just make it clear you're not travelling 'for' him; he may be the catalyst, but you're making this trip for you.
Bring enough money so that you can support yourself for one month should he not even show up at the airport. I remember when I arrived in Chile, things went pretty bad with the woman I met. I had to be self-sufficiant within two weeks; it wasn't easy let me tell you. You really have no way to know 100% that he's not married or engaged, not in a wheelchair, and short of having seen him on webcam, that he is who he says he is. He might be living in his mother's basement. The possibilities of things going horribly wrong, relationship wise, are endless. Don't go into it with your eyes closed is the point; be prepared for the worst.
Get a round trip flight for that one month. You can decide, later, if you want to pay to move the flight back (or forward) if need be. If you end up loving where you are, one month is pretty good in terms of knowing for sure. If you end up hating it, you won't be stuck there so long that you can't get back in a reasonable amount of time.
Learn everything you can about where you're going. That should be obvious, but you need to do it from a survival perspective; day one, you won't have a car, a home, or family to help in case of an emergancy. You'll pretty much only be able to take what you can carry, physically (invest in a backpacker's backpack, and a big suitcase with wheels.) Take minimal clothing; bring five days worth of clothes, plus 'necessities' (a dress for job interviews, for example.) Three pairs of shoes should be the limit; remember you have to carry this stuff. Bring photographs, but limit yourself to two or three books. Maybe something that you really like, decoration wise to adorn your new space wherever it may be, to at least offer a sense of comfort from 'home.'
Find a job there, as quickly as humanly possible. I'm not sure how Australia is about working and visas, but I remember having no trouble working in Chile without a visa. The US and Japan are pretty naziish about worker's visas, while Latin America has a much more relaxed approach to them. I wouldn't imagine it being too daunting to get a worker's visa in Australia though; it's traditionally been very immigrant friendly. I know working after week two won't sound very thrilling in terms of the new relationship, but if you end up there five or six weeks (and your return ticket has expired) and you catch him sleeping with another woman, you could find yourself in a seriously difficult situation quickly.
Yes, a lot of my advice makes the assumption that the guy won't work out. The reason I give it is because there's a very good chance that exactly that will happen. If it doesn't, at least you are ready for it. If it does work out, then your hard work and planning for the worst won't be wasted; it'll help establish you in a new country and life with a sensible approach.
Good luck!
Stephan
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Nosce Te Ipsum
"The blade itself incites to violence" - Homer
Men: Find a Woman here
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