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RE: Question for male Doms seeking female subs - 10/11/2007 3:22:28 PM

StrictMentor

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Joined: 9/22/2007
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My buddy used to say "I like my women like I like my coffee- white, weak & sweet."
One day a waitress he said that to replied "Well, I like my men like the coffee they brew here - black & strong"

That stopped him from saying it- for a few weeks!

(in reply to InkedMaster)

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RE: Question for male Doms seeking female subs - 10/11/2007 3:28:10 PM

Celeste43

Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
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quote:

ORIGINAL: tulitukka

To that kind of statement (my ex didn't do it like that) I would have a very simple answer: I would tell them there are polite and considerate ways and of communicating (and choosing the timing of communicating) your desires and comparing me to your ex is not one of them, especially when we are in a middle of having sex or a scene. Should you do that again, I will be forced to punish you. If you need assistance in figuring out polite ways of expressing your needs, I will glad to help you. As an example, you may beg me to do something, and being content and happy with what ever decision I make. In addition, often it may be better to approach these things when we are not having a scene. If you have concerns or question, you may bring them up now.

That only works in a d/s relationship. It doesn't work in a first time encounter between top and bottom because you haven't proven yourself sufficiently trustworthy to submit to. If you don't believe me, then try it the next time you ask to top someone at a dungeon; refuse to negotiate a scene, threaten punishment and see how much success you have.

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RE: Question for male Doms seeking female subs - 10/11/2007 3:42:34 PM

PryderiLoup

Posts: 90
Joined: 9/8/2007
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I personaly love strong adventurous women, and one long term relationship was with a woman that had more experience than me. It was great because I learned a lot about safe play, we tried a lot of things I had never done.

On the other hand, she had a very clear concept of what a D/s relationship should be, and it did not always match what I wanted. Since she was experienced, she knew the difference between fantasy and reality. In truth, she understood the dynamic much better than me, and it hurt the power exchange, among other, off topic, things.

But this can be an issue whether the sub is experienced or not, and where I fell down was not being clear enough up front, when we met. I have a new saying now. "I would rather scare away the right sub, than capture the wrong sub"

quote:

ORIGINAL: sammiebabygirl

How do you feel about a sub who is experienced, strong, very open and sexually adventurous? Would she be a fantasy come true or intimidating?

Just curious.

jen

(in reply to sammiebabygirl)

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Post #: 23

RE: Question for male Doms seeking female subs - 10/11/2007 4:58:50 PM

ddthrill

Posts: 45
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sarcasm is a good thing

< Message edited by ddthrill -- 10/11/2007 5:46:37 PM >

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RE: Question for male Doms seeking female subs - 10/11/2007 5:04:47 PM

InkedMaster

Posts: 342
Joined: 7/14/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: StrictMentor

My buddy used to say "I like my women like I like my coffee- white, weak & sweet."
One day a waitress he said that to replied "Well, I like my men like the coffee they brew here - black & strong"

That stopped him from saying it- for a few weeks!

My version I used to say was "I like my women like I like my coffee - ground up and kept in the freezer"

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TOURETTE SYNDROME: It's no mother f*cking joke, you God d*mn c*ck sucking f*ck!

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-Owner of eyesopened- and damn PROUD of her!

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RE: Question for male Doms seeking female subs - 10/11/2007 5:47:35 PM

ddthrill

Posts: 45
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quote:

ORIGINAL: InkedMaster

quote:

ORIGINAL: StrictMentor

My buddy used to say "I like my women like I like my coffee- white, weak & sweet."
One day a waitress he said that to replied "Well, I like my men like the coffee they brew here - black & strong"

That stopped him from saying it- for a few weeks!

My version I used to say was "I like my women like I like my coffee - ground up and kept in the freezer"

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RE: Question for male Doms seeking female subs - 10/11/2007 8:04:24 PM

littlebitxxx

Posts: 732
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I'm thinking there's a lot would probably say they want strong, sexually open and adventurous and then not know quite how to handle what they get. Sometimes I just shake my head and tell 'em "Be careful what you wish for, ya just might get it."

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The people that mind don't matter and the people that matter don't mind.

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RE: Question for male Doms seeking female subs - 10/12/2007 7:02:41 AM

ddthrill

Posts: 45
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littlebitxxx
you siad it well. Also some men doms are weak people and think they want a sub girl because they think the girl will be easy
But there are strong, real masters who need strong subs, right here too. the weak ones probly too chicken to write!

Subs can be strong and submissive at the same time , don't think not nobody.
its so sad all the games wreck things and no one really knows

< Message edited by ddthrill -- 10/12/2007 7:46:19 AM >

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RE: Question for male Doms seeking female subs - 10/12/2007 7:19:32 AM

FrankAr

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Joined: 10/1/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: sammiebabygirl

How do you feel about a sub who is experienced, strong, very open and sexually adventurous? Would she be a fantasy come true or intimidating?

Just curious.

jen

Greetings jen,

I personally would not care how she was before meeting me, due to the fact that I personally break down the female to the core and then build her up to the best that I PERCEIVE that she can get to in my eyes. What other people may have taught the female before me, and this then she thinks of being experienced, I might not like. Thus I take the female to the core and then re-build her to my satisfaction.

Be well.

Frank Ar.

< Message edited by FrankAr -- 10/12/2007 7:21:05 AM >

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RE: Question for male Doms seeking female subs - 10/12/2007 7:21:39 AM

Dquem

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I would find her experience a benefit. We could use it as a foundation to grow and explore greater things together

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RE: Question for male Doms seeking female subs - 10/12/2007 7:23:32 AM

RRafe

Posts: 2060
Joined: 8/29/2007
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Just because she has experience with kink-doesn't mean she will get off on MY kink.

Experience is great-being compared to past experience constantly bites rocks.

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RE: Question for male Doms seeking female subs - 10/12/2007 7:32:26 AM

ddthrill

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Thats true, the second part above. It goes both ways, hard hard hard.

hope

< Message edited by ddthrill -- 10/12/2007 7:38:39 AM >

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RE: Question for male Doms seeking female subs - 10/12/2007 9:17:43 AM

Jacobthm

Posts: 237
Joined: 7/9/2007
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Personal strength, and experience as well as individuality are things I generally prize when I'm looking for a mate/toy/whatever. I do enjoy a bit of an initial power struggle in the begining stages of a relationship. However there is a niche for everyone.

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RE: Question for male Doms seeking female subs - 10/12/2007 10:14:00 AM

Dnomyar

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Why would you want a power struggle? If you are a switch that might be ok.

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RE: Question for male Doms seeking female subs - 10/15/2007 12:57:47 AM

rmanrr

Posts: 358
Joined: 7/25/2006
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Greetings
After no net for a week or so I am starting to catch up heh. 1. I got what I wished for...and you are it My woman.

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Jarl Rmanrr

"the road untravelled is the loneliest." Me
Courage...the ability to overcome obstacles during the course.
"to be insane is to be original!"...Me

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RE: Question for male Doms seeking female subs - 10/15/2007 1:10:36 PM

EbonyPhoenix68

Posts: 70
Joined: 6/25/2007
From: Central Indiana
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Let's put it this way: If she lives in my area, is willing to committ herself to me 24/7 and is reasonably attractive, then I say yes.

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RE: Question for male Doms seeking female subs - 10/30/2007 4:10:38 AM

tulitukka

Posts: 95
Joined: 10/11/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Celeste43

quote:

ORIGINAL: tulitukka

To that kind of statement (my ex didn't do it like that) I would have a very simple answer: I would tell them there are polite and considerate ways and of communicating (and choosing the timing of communicating) your desires and comparing me to your ex is not one of them, especially when we are in a middle of having sex or a scene. Should you do that again, I will be forced to punish you. If you need assistance in figuring out polite ways of expressing your needs, I will glad to help you. As an example, you may beg me to do something, and being content and happy with what ever decision I make. In addition, often it may be better to approach these things when we are not having a scene. If you have concerns or question, you may bring them up now.

That only works in a d/s relationship. It doesn't work in a first time encounter between top and bottom because you haven't proven yourself sufficiently trustworthy to submit to. If you don't believe me, then try it the next time you ask to top someone at a dungeon; refuse to negotiate a scene, threaten punishment and see how much success you have.

Yes, I was talking about an existing D/s relationship. Anything that has already gotten to the point where she has agreed that I can punish her for disobedience (assuming the command above is within negotiated limits). I don't go around ordering people who have not willingly submitted to me.

If the other has not submitted to my authority, the situation is a little bit different. I would then let her know what I feel is a polite way for her to tell about her previous experiences. If she is incapable of being polite, I have no wish to play with her. Of course, I'm interested in submissives, not in masochists, and being unable to satisfy my relatively simple wishes tells me that she is probably not compatible with me.

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RE: Question for male Doms seeking female subs - 10/30/2007 5:25:55 AM

RRafe

Posts: 2060
Joined: 8/29/2007
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I think that a lot of experience depends on what it was. It it made the sub bitter-I prefer not to deal with experiences like that-not my load to bear. If they were good-it can still be difficult-if I get held up to making them repeat.

Every time you are with a new person-you start anew, forcing someone to live with the ghost of your past is unfair to both of you.

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RE: Question for male Doms seeking female subs - 10/30/2007 5:36:37 AM

TwoSeekOne

Posts: 24
Joined: 2/9/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: sammiebabygirl
How do you feel about a sub who is experienced, strong, very open and sexually adventurous? Would she be a fantasy come true or intimidating?

This really is out of context without dealing with who the person is in the first place. The right person those are fantastic qualities, the wrong person they can be a problem. I don't think it's an issue of being intimidating, but about what kind of person this is and how have her previous experiences shaped her. Compatibility is something that is above any level of experience, sexual orientation, deviance, or kink. Compatibility is a basic human issue involving personalities, chemistry, and instinct.

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RE: Question for male Doms seeking female subs - 10/30/2007 6:09:40 AM

TheChauvinist

Posts: 76
Joined: 10/14/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: sammiebabygirl

How do you feel about a sub who is experienced, strong, very open and sexually adventurous? Would she be a fantasy come true or intimidating?

Just curious.

jen