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RE: Dommes interested in service oriented subs - 10/8/2007 6:11:47 AM   
BossyShoeBitch


Posts: 3931
Joined: 1/13/2007
From: South Florida
Status: offline 		Domi,
I can assure you my house is anything but a shambles...
and my go go hole is in pretty good shape too.. 

_____________________________

A clever man can get out of situations a wise man never gets into...
A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.

(in reply to domiguy)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Dommes interested in service oriented subs - 10/8/2007 7:21:43 AM   
MadameMarque


Posts: 1128
Joined: 3/19/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: camille65

My house is almost in that condition. I feel too embarrassed for a residential cleaning company (yeah I know that is their purpose..to clean).I don't know where to start and I only have about 2 hours of energy a day lol which is why it has gotten to the state it is! Ahhh to be soon moving to a smaller easier to take care of place. My question is serious though. I feel much less embarrassed asking advice here cuz no one can actually see the mess.


"I feel too embarrassed for a residential cleaning company (yeah I know that is their purpose..to clean)."

Camille, exactly.  This is what struck me about the original post. 
If someone wants to be of service, and you say you need cleaning and they say they want to do it, should you be ashamed when they show up to clean, and you actually do need cleaning?  If a submissive feels that the dominant not doing the work, themselves, makes them lazy and a slob, it seems a losing enterprise for them to offer themselves up as a service submissive, as they would always consider themselves to be picking up the slack, on work that they feel the dominant should have done, themselves.
 
I do realize that it's a matter of degree, as to whether the state of a place has gone far enough out of control to be a bit shocking to someone else.  If you want to take the sting out of people seeing it for the first time, whether they are professional cleaners or someone else coming to assist, you might warn them, ahead of time, and even send a couple of digital photos, or let them visit and assess.  Basically, so that the first time someone sees your place is not the same day they come to clean it.
 
As I said before, it is only responsible, to warn someone, before them come, if there is any hazard or something not normally to be expected, such as fleas, other pests, medical waste, mold, fire hazard, etc.  Other than that, if a person knows their place is going to be a "surprise," it would steel people, to give them some idea, in advance, what to expect.
 
In the OP's case, had there not been fleas (the dominant really acted badly not to warn about them, before having someone over), she might have had the sub for a short, initial visit, and at that time, looked at the work to be done.  This is a good idea, in any case, and especially if you know that your place is pretty extreme.
 
 

(in reply to camille65)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Dommes interested in service oriented subs - 10/8/2007 7:46:31 AM   
chiaThePet


Posts: 2694
Joined: 2/4/2007
Status: offline 		I am a boy whom loves everything in it's place, though as with others, there are
times when it would appear a cyclone has spent an hour or two rearranging
the landscape of my humble abode. Some who know me, have used the words
anal retentive more than once to describe my passion for neatness. For them, I
respectfully offer a firm butt clench in agreement.

If one offers to serve in this manner, they should not expect the Dominant to call
in the Merry Maids before they arrive and wipe their feet on the welcome mat.

However, if Porky or Petunia offer up a buffet of uncommon filth, repleat with
infestation and disease, I would thank them for their time, grab my mop and
bucket and head for the nearest hot shower.

What's for lunch? Oh, BLFlea on toast, no thank you, i'm watching my fate.

chia* (the pet)

_____________________________

Love is a many splendid sting.

You can stick me in the corner, but I'll probably just end up coloring on the walls.

(in reply to SparksWillFly4U)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Dommes interested in service oriented subs - 10/8/2007 11:09:15 AM   
camille65


Posts: 5746
Joined: 7/11/2007
From: Austin Texas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MadameMarque


"I feel too embarrassed for a residential cleaning company (yeah I know that is their purpose..to clean)."

Camille, exactly.  This is what struck me about the original post. 
If someone wants to be of service, and you say you need cleaning and they say they want to do it, should you be ashamed when they show up to clean, and you actually do need cleaning?  If a submissive feels that the dominant not doing the work, themselves, makes them lazy and a slob, it seems a losing enterprise for them to offer themselves up as a service submissive, as they would always consider themselves to be picking up the slack, on work that they feel the dominant should have done, themselves.I can't figure that sentence out for the life of me. I get 'if a submissive feels that a dom having a messy house makes the dom lazy, then it seems futile to offer their services because they would be picking up what the dominant should have been picking up'.?
 
I do realize that it's a matter of degree, as to whether the state of a place has gone far enough out of control to be a bit shocking to someone else.  If you want to take the sting out of people seeing it for the first time, whether they are professional cleaners or someone else coming to assist, you might warn them, ahead of time, and even send a couple of digital photos, or let them visit and assess.  Basically, so that the first time someone sees your place is not the same day they come to clean it.
 
As I said before, it is only responsible, to warn someone, before them come, if there is any hazard or something not normally to be expected, such as fleas, other pests, medical waste, mold, fire hazard, etc.  Other than that, if a person knows their place is going to be a "surprise," it would steel people, to give them some idea, in advance, what to expect.
 Dear gods no. No mold (that green stuff on the shower wall is my friend Eddy haha jk), fleas, pests, medical waste or unrecognizable sticky piles.  Just a foot of dust and dog hair, serious scrubbing and organization is needed. I'm guessing a good 15 hours of vacuuming alone lol. It has been 2 full years since a proper cleaning has been done. A garage full of beer bottles from my ex need to go and about 40 more boxes of books need to be wiped down then packed.
In the OP's case, had there not been fleas (the dominant really acted badly not to warn about them, before having someone over), she might have had the sub for a short, initial visit, and at that time, looked at the work to be done.  This is a good idea, in any case, and especially if you know that your place is pretty extreme.It 'feels' extreme to me. I am very uncomfortable having strangers in my house and handling my stuff. For some reason knowing that it is a service submissive makes that easier. They want to do it. A service just wants the cash. So it comes across differently in intent to me.Part of it is that I am pretty isolated out here and have had few people over since 05 when I got divorced. Part of it is how weird I would feel if something got moved and my long lost favorite vibrator were found by a commercial house cleaner. Plus I have stacks of kinky sex books laying around. I just get creeped out at the thought of being judged by my surroundings.
 
 


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~Love your life! (It is the only one you'll get).




(in reply to MadameMarque)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Dommes interested in service oriented subs - 10/8/2007 12:13:08 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		Yes, MadamM meant that a submissive going into a service job with a judgmental chip on his/her shoulder might as well not bother, since the idea of SERVICE is to HELP the person being served, not to sneer at them for not meeting some possibly arbitrary standard.  If picking up after messy folks gives you a good feeling, do it.  If it makes you feel all superior, rethink your motives, or quit calling yourself a service sub.

I have often felt that service oriented folks should be out there helping others in the community, regardless of their orientation.  There are several scene people in my area who became very ill, or were injured, and all sorts of kinksters came to help them.  The point could be made that yes, no one's cleaning fetish was being served, and the tops who came out were just being charitable.  So?    Is that so hard to do?  Is the point of service getting our jollies, or SERVING? 

Camille, I would certainly not be ashamed to approach someone in the scene to do work for you.   As a Fellow Sicko :) I know how it is, and I know how demoralizing it is to look around and see clutter. Get some scene friendly, or at least sex-positive people to help you deal. 



_____________________________

[page 23 girl]



(in reply to camille65)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Dommes interested in service oriented subs - 10/8/2007 1:45:12 PM   
SparksWillFly4U


Posts: 4
Joined: 10/6/2007
Status: offline 		Not to beat the point to death. You should have seen the toilet. I wouldnt go in there with a atomic waste safety suite on, and I have a thing for latex/rubber.

(in reply to camille65)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Dommes interested in service oriented subs - 10/8/2007 2:33:46 PM   
gypsygrl


Posts: 1471
Joined: 10/8/2005
From: new york state
Status: offline 		The way you phrased the question makes it kind of loaded.  Obviously, you were unhappy by what you found when you went in to offer service and you have every right to decide that its a situation that's not right for  you.  But, in my opinion, its not reasonable to expect a d-type to live in such and such a way live just to accomodate the conditions you set on your service.  It seems like  a basic compatibility issue.  If you'e not thrilled by the prospect of figuring out how to get rid of fleas or tackling some other domestic challenge, that's your issue.  Its precisely the sort of thing I'm likely to sink my teeth into.  I've done rental cleanouts and the like, and always kind of enjoyed the really bad ones. 

When I clean a house, it doesn't bother me if its dirty.  It's kind of the point, and I'm not crazy about cleaning a house that doesn't need it.  I get a lot more satisfaction out of cleaning something that really needs cleaning.  When I clean my own place, I usually wait untill its actually dirty so I don't have a weekly cleaning schedule or anything like that.  I clean when it gets dirty enough to bother me.  The same with dealing with clutter and that sort of thing.  When I feel the walls start to close in, its probably time to get rid of some stuff.

_____________________________

“To be happy is to be able to become aware of oneself without fright.” ~Walter Benjamin


(in reply to SparksWillFly4U)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Dommes interested in service oriented subs - 10/8/2007 2:41:01 PM   
cloudboy


Posts: 7306
Joined: 12/14/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SparksWillFly4U

Not to beat the point to death. You should have seen the toilet. I wouldnt go in there with a atomic waste safety suite on, and I have a thing for latex/rubber.



Oh my God!! You are cracking me up. Sounds like you encoutered a NIGHTMARE. In case no one's drawn you a picture yet, its never too late to RUN FOR THE HILLS. I realize you that you feel committed to your obligation and promise, but one might well infer she didn't keep up her implied obligation to make the arrangement reasonable.

From now on, though, include a PIGSTY cause into all your future agreements.

< Message edited by cloudboy -- 10/8/2007 2:45:49 PM >

(in reply to SparksWillFly4U)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Dommes interested in service oriented subs - 10/8/2007 3:19:55 PM   
orfunboi


Posts: 1223
Joined: 10/22/2005
Status: offline 		Nope. What would be the point in having someone to clean up after you, if you had to clean first. If you don't want to do housework, just say so. Don't try to make the Domme out to be the bitch. Find someone who isn't looking for that and have fun.

(in reply to SparksWillFly4U)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Dommes interested in service oriented subs - 10/8/2007 3:22:50 PM   
orfunboi


Posts: 1223
Joined: 10/22/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SparksWillFly4U

Actually she was a COMPLETE slob, should have checked her house out first however in public, very neat, car very clean etc. But I committed & I honor my commitments but should have left when she opened the door and invited me in. BTW, I was told to have my spandex hood on at the door.
How bad you say? A ton of flea bites & developed contact derminititis afterwards.


Just curious, but how much actual contact had you had before making this commitment? You might want to get to know her a little better next time and make sure you understand exactly what you are getting into.

(in reply to SparksWillFly4U)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Dommes interested in service oriented subs - 10/8/2007 5:00:43 PM   
kc692


Posts: 3701
Joined: 3/24/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: camille65

quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy

It is a scientific fact the 96.7% of all Dommes dommeciles are in shambles.....You should count your blessings that they only wanted you to clean.....Imagine if you were asked to perform some sort of sexual tasks....If a woman is to lazy to clean her home....I can only imagine that her go-go hole should most likely be closed down by the EPA as well.

quote:

ORIGINAL:  BossyShoeBitch

Why would you not be ashamed for a sub, who could potentially wind up being a friend to you, to see your house but ashamed for cleaners to see it?


 domidearest it is not laziness, it is lupusness.BSB I don't know what makes it different honestly. I just would feel more comfortable for some reason and wondered if it were a feasible idea. Oh I have thrown away tons of stuff, I'm slowly packing my house so I can sell it. Knick knack stuff is down to an absolute minimum  and yesssss it feels fantastic to be rid of useless stuff.Bah it was a dumb idea I know.


It was not a dumb idea at all!!!! And for some of those before you posted this one to assume that there is absolutely no reason you could have to justify a messy home or needing help, those of us that have been on the boards a while know you have health problems.  Notwithstanding the health problems, have you ever made contact with a local bdsm group, yahoo group etc in your area?  Although you are not dominant, there are some service subs that although they want a dominant, might be able to "scratch part of their itch" in helping you. 

< Message edited by kc692 -- 10/8/2007 5:04:40 PM >

_____________________________

Anyone can overpower; not many can INSPIRE.....

This is only MY opinion. If it's not yours, let's agree in advance to agree to disagree, OR, you can just get the fuck over what I had to say:)

(in reply to camille65)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Dommes interested in service oriented subs - 10/8/2007 5:08:46 PM   
gypsygrl


Posts: 1471
Joined: 10/8/2005
From: new york state
Status: offline
quote:

Although you are not dominant, there are some service subs that although they want a dominant, might be able to "scratch part of their itch" in helping you.


Yes, I've done something like this in the past: served just because there was a need and it felt good and not out of a feeling of attachment.


_____________________________

“To be happy is to be able to become aware of oneself without fright.” ~Walter Benjamin


(in reply to kc692)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Dommes interested in service oriented subs - 10/18/2007 8:21:06 PM   
patrice3737


Posts: 62
Joined: 10/21/2006
Status: offline 		As someone who is a service submissive and regularly works as a no strings maid, i clean whatever i'm asked to clean, regardless of the condition of the home. Fortunately i have worked for people who keep their homes in good condition, so have never experienced a disaster, but if i personally agree to no strings housekeeping, then it is unconditional as to how neat the home is when i arrive. i'm the maid and will deal with whatever i find.

(in reply to camille65)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Dommes interested in service oriented subs - 10/18/2007 8:27:23 PM   
MrDiscipline44


Posts: 1776
Joined: 1/5/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SparksWillFly4U

Hello All
Is it reasonable for a sub to expect that a Domme that is looking for a service oriented sub (cleaning, etc), that she doesn't live like a pig in the first place??
That she is either too lazy herself or just a slob when it comes to general housework and how she lives in general? That she expects a sub to make up for all that? Just curious.
Well, if she did all the cleaning herself, what the hell would she need or want you for? Sounds to me like a lazy sub that uses the guise of "service oriented" to try and get his rocks off.

_____________________________

If you love somebody, you have to be willing to break them.

Those who can, do. Those who can't, teach.

Have you slapped your slave today?

(in reply to SparksWillFly4U)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Dommes interested in service oriented subs - 10/18/2007 8:40:07 PM   
chellekitty


Posts: 3923
Joined: 3/27/2005
Status: offline 		thank you MrD!!! oh god...i did it again...

as a service oriented sub...it drives me nuts to go to a house for either no-strings house work or paid house work and to be stuck there doing tedious shit like dusting the fucking perfume bottle collection....i would much rather be picking up laundry (and washing laundry and dishes) and trash and then vaccuming and sweeping and mopping and doing stuff and seeing a visable change once i am done...and it feels fucking awesome to throw out bags of trash when i am done...

but maybe i am a weird one....


_____________________________

One thing I know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who will have sought and found how to serve. ~Albert Schweitzer

(in reply to MrDiscipline44)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Dommes interested in service oriented subs - 10/18/2007 8:50:14 PM   
MrDiscipline44


Posts: 1776
Joined: 1/5/2005
Status: offline 		Well, if you're wierd I'm wierd too. I'm not going to have a girl come to my house just so she strut around in a little maids outfit and do nothing. I want a girl thats going to roll up her sleeves and pull out the knee pads.

_____________________________

If you love somebody, you have to be willing to break them.

Those who can, do. Those who can't, teach.

Have you slapped your slave today?

(in reply to chellekitty)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Dommes interested in service oriented subs - 10/18/2007 8:52:05 PM   
patrice3737


Posts: 62
Joined: 10/21/2006
Status: offline 		i think i'm the weird one as i love the tedious stuff, as well as the laundry, dishes etc. One of my favorite jobs recently was spent standing for nearly two hours dusting and washing the wooden slats on closet doors for a woman for whom i provide regular no strings maid service for. Another favorite is folding endless loads of laundry.
i do recall now, arriving at the home of another woman who i used to clean for a few years ago, finding a note to dust all of the knickknacks. There were, i swear, at least two hundred, as this lady collected them. i was there for hours. It is fun though to arrive somewhere and find nearly every dish someone owns dirty and waiting for me to wash...

(in reply to chellekitty)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Dommes interested in service oriented subs - 10/19/2007 12:36:19 AM   
Gwynvyd


Posts: 4949
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: camille65

My house is almost in that condition. I feel too embarrassed for a residential cleaning company (yeah I know that is their purpose..to clean).I don't know where to start and I only have about 2 hours of energy a day lol which is why it has gotten to the state it is! Ahhh to be soon moving to a smaller easier to take care of place. My question is serious though. I feel much less embarrassed asking advice here cuz no one can actually see the mess.


I am gonna make a big ol confession here.. I have OCD. Some days is better then others.. but it does get ickey at times.  Mine is for cleaniness. Hands, house (not that you can tell currently with boxes still about from the move)

I sometimes get so frantic and stressed I will stay up for a day and a half no sleep, just coffee and juice and clean everything.

I have old friends who are horders... serious ones. Pets, and stuff. I twitch merely thinking about thier homes. I dont hang out with them any more though since we all moved apart. But I did help with orgainizing and helping them get down a cleaning pattern.

The best tips I can give you on orgainizing and cleaning

* pick a room, start in a corner. Form things into piles. Keep goes into a basket, give away, and garbage goes right in the bin beside you that you brought with. Anything you simply can not live without if of good quality and be honest if you are going to really use it soon and frequently~ goes in the give away basket. Once the keep basket is full go about putting the items where they actualy belong. Then go back to where you left off. Do not go from room to room distracting yourself. It takes 500 times more energy and stresses you out quick. The rest, in the bin. Old mail is a biggie. Old magazines? Toss... almost no one has time to pour back over the whole thing again... cut out and keep articles in a binder with pockets to orgainize later if this is part of your stuff. Same with news papers. Old mail? if the bill is not the current one, toss it. Records are online now. Flyers? toss.. they *will* mail you a new one. get a billpay folder ( Flavia is my fave! and cheap at walmart ) stick the bills, and receipts in there each month. One handy place, You always know if you paid it or not.

I know it is overwhelming... I become easily overwhelmed myself. ( even when my house looks like the cover of good housekeeping there is more stuff I could have cleaned ) Just do it small manageable bites at a time.

*If you dont have orginizing bins, or places for everything Wal-mart has some awesome canvas tote things that stay square, and have a pocket with a label on the front. They are like $7. Also thier plastic section is good for that type of stuff.  Everything needs a place, and to make it's way there. Once you have a system down it isnt so hard up keeping it. 10 mins a day of picking up ( even with a teenager as I have) should do the trick for day to day once you have it all done.

Feel free to email me off list if you like hun.


Gwyn,
deadly with a swifter!

_____________________________

Self avowed Geek-Girl~
Come for the boobs, stay for the brains.

Be the kinda woman that when your feet hit the floor in the morning the Devil says "Oh shit, shes awake..."
~ Softandshy's "Shiney"

(in reply to camille65)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Dommes interested in service oriented subs - 10/19/2007 12:40:27 AM   
Gwynvyd


Posts: 4949
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: patrice3737

i think i'm the weird one as i love the tedious stuff, as well as the laundry, dishes etc. One of my favorite jobs recently was spent standing for nearly two hours dusting and washing the wooden slats on closet doors for a woman for whom i provide regular no strings maid service for. Another favorite is folding endless loads of laundry.
i do recall now, arriving at the home of another woman who i used to clean for a few years ago, finding a note to dust all of the knickknacks. There were, i swear, at least two hundred, as this lady collected them. i was there for hours. It is fun though to arrive somewhere and find nearly every dish someone owns dirty and waiting for me to wash...


Ok I will say this for the rest of us.. " Ok, Dayum.. and you live Where honey?"

*looks longingly at the bags and bags *twitches* of clean clothes she moved that needs to be put away*

If I wait a whole another week my girl will be back up here to finish putting them away.

I hate all things laundry related.

Gwyn,
so missing her laundry fairy wife.

_____________________________

Self avowed Geek-Girl~
Come for the boobs, stay for the brains.

Be the kinda woman that when your feet hit the floor in the morning the Devil says "Oh shit, shes awake..."
~ Softandshy's "Shiney"

(in reply to patrice3737)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Dommes interested in service oriented subs - 10/19/2007 12:43:12 AM   
chellekitty


Posts: 3923
Joined: 3/27/2005
Status: offline 		i love swiffer wet jets....

_____________________________

One thing I know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who will have sought and found how to serve. ~Albert Schweitzer

(in reply to Gwynvyd)
Profile   Post #: 40
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