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RapierFugue -> RE: Machismo and BDSM (10/9/2007 12:02:03 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Bobkgin
I see once again a thread has become about me and my imagined foibles and beliefs, and not so much the topic.
A pity, it was going so well, too.
Now Bob, that’s a tad naughty isn’t it? That makes it seem like you’re trying to give the impression that your hugely intellectual debate was going swimmingly until some rough kids from the village turned up and pissed in your chips.
When in actual fact, reading it through, it reads much more like;
a) you put forward a POV, couched as a question.
b) You get replies which don’t agree with you. Lots of them.
c) you then rationalise this into “you’re all wrong, it’s so unfair, nobody wants a debate”, when by your own rules, “debate” means “agrees with Bob”.
Communication within a forum situation isn’t about constantly asking “but why? Why? Why? Why? Why?”, it’s about thesis, antithesis, synthesis, in that someone puts forward an idea, people chuck rocks at it but don’t get it right themselves, but it sparks ideas in people’s heads that bring forward other, more evolved ideas, which are in their turn subjected to scrutiny, and thus the theory evolves and changes.
I’m seriously, honestly, not having a pop at you; all I’m pointing out is that you are, as someone else said, your own worst enemy, in the way you conduct yourself. I have been accused of similar things at other times in other places and you know what? Turns out they were right, I was being a stubborn, stone-headed curmudgeon. Proclaiming oneself to have an open mind doesn’t actually mean one possesses an open mind.
I think some of it isn’t so much how you think as how you write; your writing style is very confrontational. I know about this as I too, as mentioned above, am no stranger to the purple-faced eppy and the keyboard tantrum. You’re different; it’s all kept in check, but to the point where you just keep plugging on with the same argument, regardless of what anyone says in return … we can all see what you think, but what have you learned?
Hope you’ll take that in the spirit it is intended, old sport. It’s just that, ATM, watching you respond in threads you’ve started is a bit like watching someone trying to swat a fly on the end of their own nose with a lump of 2x4; entertaining, but only because of the copious blood-letting.
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