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submissive rebel? - 10/10/2007 9:08:15 AM   
subartist


Posts: 43
Joined: 8/31/2007
Status: offline 		What do you all think about the question of a submissive personality?  There seems to be two sides to me, on one hand I'm passionately interested in activism and radical politics, union organizing, challenging authority and hierarchy, etc.  And yet, my submissive side is a very real and long standing part of me as well.  My deepest wish is to be taken over by a woman who can make me hers, and control me and my life.  There seems to be this contradiction, or division, between two different sides to my personality, how can I long to submit to someone, giving her control, and at the same time dedicate myself to challenging authority and the ideals of equality, democracy, etc.?  I don't exactly fit the bill of the submissive personality.  But it just seems like a contradiction, I don't really divide myself like that, and it doesn't feel contradictory to me.  I am always both submissive and rebellious, just in very different ways.  I think my submissive side comes from how I wish to relate to women, or especially to someone in a relationship.  I am not just generally all around submissive, in fact to others, I'm not really so submissive at all.  But my submissive side is still very real, and always present.  Does this make sense at all?  Any thoughts about this?
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RE: submissive rebel? - 10/10/2007 9:24:25 AM   
MstrssPassion


Posts: 2444
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: West Palm Beach, FL
Status: offline 		one is your outward self to the world which is how you wish society to respect your being

& the other is your personal, intimate side that is only to be shared with a special someone

I don't see a conflict but so long as you see it that way you are going to have reservations about fully commiting to either


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RE: submissive rebel? - 10/10/2007 9:57:38 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		I don't see it as a contradiction either.  Obviously, there is a difference within you between challenging and acceptance.  The rebel in you asks questions, challenges positions, and is defiant to those things imposed on you from outside sources.  The submissive in you yearns for a trust that is earned, control willingly given, and complies to the right Dominant.  It really isn't that unusual.  Just because you are submissive to One, doesn't necessarily mean you are submissive to anyone.

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RE: submissive rebel? - 10/10/2007 9:58:37 AM   
LadyLynx


Posts: 1098
Joined: 7/24/2007
Status: offline 		definately not a contradiction.  in the bdsm community, the majority of subs I met have very dominant personalities, very specific ideas and concepts that they are willing to accept.  You know what you are comfortable with, and what your not. 

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I also go by the nic SwitchWitch on MDS.

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RE: submissive rebel? - 10/10/2007 10:31:52 AM   
stockingluvr54


Posts: 673
Joined: 6/22/2006
Status: offline 		I don't think your much different than most of us sub minded males? We've been conditioned through out our lives to have dominant personalities and appearances and I believe that most of us do just that? I like to call it my "public side". Somewhere out there in Domina land there is a special woman who will have what it takes to actually see and appreciate your "private side".....

jmo......

< Message edited by stockingluvr54 -- 10/10/2007 10:33:38 AM >

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RE: submissive rebel? - 10/10/2007 12:11:16 PM   
toservez


Posts: 1733
Joined: 9/7/2006
From: All over now in Minnesota
Status: offline 		I will echo I do not see the contradiction outside of the perpetuation of a stereotype that being submissive means being weak minded. On the contrary, your post clearly shows how all these things are tied into you by a passion for living life to your desires and beliefs.

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I am sorry I do not fit Webster's defintion of a slave but thankfully my Master is not Webster.

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RE: submissive rebel? - 10/10/2007 12:15:14 PM   
AAkasha


Posts: 4429
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline
I have yet to ever hear of a dominant woman that specifically is seeking a meek, timid, spineless type of submissive. The "quivering worm" stereotype is mostly perpetuated by porn invented by men.  I think dominant women, for the most part, seek qualities in men they find attractive on a very personal level - but rarely does it include overtly "submissive" qualities, at least on the surface. 

Personally, I don't find myself attracted to submissive men.  I find myself attracted to men who are capable of submitting - under the very, very right circumstances, and only to the RIGHT woman.

Akasha


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RE: submissive rebel? - 10/10/2007 1:06:21 PM   
cloudboy


Posts: 7306
Joined: 12/14/2005
Status: offline
Seems to me you might have a problem if your Domme was a strident, conservative, Republican.

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RE: submissive rebel? - 10/10/2007 2:02:01 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		Well I just make "conservative politics" a hard limit.

Chiming in, I don't see a problem here.  I have yet to meet the dominant female who wants a crawly whiner guy.  It takes serious stuff to be my submissive!

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RE: submissive rebel? - 10/10/2007 2:17:24 PM   
Celeste43


Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
Status: offline 		There is no dichotomy here. What you've forgotten about is consent. You want a world in which people have the opportunity to choose for themselves. And you want to exercise your own choice for your interpersonal relationships.

It's all about informed consent.

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RE: submissive rebel? - 10/10/2007 3:31:08 PM   
MistressDolly


Posts: 917
Joined: 8/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: stockingluvr54

I don't think your much different than most of us sub minded males? We've been conditioned through out our lives to have dominant personalities and appearances and I believe that most of us do just that? I like to call it my "public side". Somewhere out there in Domina land there is a special woman who will have what it takes to actually see and appreciate your "private side".....

jmo......


Absolutely. :)

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m i s t r e s s d o l l y . c o m

m y s p a c e


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RE: submissive rebel? - 10/10/2007 5:25:14 PM   
aidan


Posts: 904
Joined: 5/28/2005
Status: offline 		I don't see a contradiction at all, duder. I'm in the same boat. Most of the people in my life wouldn't know I was a submissive masochist unless I told them (ok, they might guess at the masochist part). I'm outspoken against anything I feel is oppressive, I fight for equality and intellectual advancement, I don't back down from arguments or debates if I feel they're important, I question all authority and institution. In short I'm a very unsubmissive person.

Buuuut...In the right circumstances, with people I'm comfortable with, on a certain intellectual and emotional level...I submit. I enjoy being...Well, perhaps not dependant, but...subjugated? I dunno. Point is, it works for me.

And actually, I think it helps a little bit in the public realm. I think that the small bit of submissve nature I have lets me remove my ego in a lot of situations, helps me differ to people who are better qualified or better informed or better suited to a task. Too many people who claim to be "independant", "outspoken" or "non-conformist" are really just stubborn and narrow-minded. Compromise and discretion (think police discretion, not secretive discretion) is an important part of getting things done.

And actually, I think a person needs something of a submissive nature to truly be a good activist. I've had long debates about the nature of the Campbellian hero archetype and submission. How you need to be able to give of yourself to be both a good submissive and a good leader. "The needs of the many out-weigh the needs of the one or the few," and what-not.

So keep on keepin' on, subartist. In the words of somebody who I can't remember: "Nobody wants to play with a dumb toy."


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RE: submissive rebel? - 10/10/2007 6:11:05 PM   
hardbodysub


Posts: 1654
Joined: 8/7/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha


I have yet to ever hear of a dominant woman that specifically is seeking a meek, timid, spineless type of submissive. The "quivering worm" stereotype is mostly perpetuated by porn invented by men.  I think dominant women, for the most part, seek qualities in men they find attractive on a very personal level - but rarely does it include overtly "submissive" qualities, at least on the surface. 

Personally, I don't find myself attracted to submissive men.  I find myself attracted to men who are capable of submitting - under the very, very right circumstances, and only to the RIGHT woman.

Akasha



If you think it's perpetuated and invented by men, you haven't looked at many domme profiles.

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RE: submissive rebel? - 10/10/2007 7:22:39 PM   
youngsubgeoff


Posts: 900
Joined: 9/25/2007
From: The Asylum
Status: offline 		Not a strange thing at all. Im the same way bro. Being a musician, especially a metal musician, I have to appear a certain way on stage. But offstage, away from the lights and music and all that, Im really a nice, sweet guy (Or so Im told anyway).  Im a submissive, but it doesnt mean Im spineless. In fact, very few subs I know are spineless. Most are strong, opinionated people. And theres absolutely nothing wrong with that.

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RE: submissive rebel? - 10/10/2007 7:57:49 PM   
laurell3


Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline 		It's not a contradiction or even uncommon in my experience.
l

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RE: submissive rebel? - 10/10/2007 9:42:23 PM   
FullfigRIMaam


Posts: 718
Joined: 6/21/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: cloudboy
Seems to me you might have a problem if your Domme was a strident, conservative, Republican.
I agree that this is the only instance your being a submissive would be in contradiction with your views/behavior.
Otherwise, not a contradiction at all.   In fact, lovely sounding.    Welcome to the boards subartist.     M


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RE: submissive rebel? - 10/11/2007 5:25:35 AM   
YesMistressIrish


Posts: 1135
Joined: 5/1/2007
From: Calif
Status: offline 		Hi subartist! The feelings you have are very natural and a big part of the process of growing into your male-subness. Of course you feel some conflict. Accepting yourself fully for all that you are is paramount. The rest will fall into place.
*waves hi to subartist, stockinglvr54, Aiden (good to see you), youngsubgeoff andhardbodysub*
I am feeling just a tad remorseful for not keeping up with emails. (wink)
 
Irish

< Message edited by YesMistressIrish -- 10/11/2007 5:30:08 AM >

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Fortune favors the strong/bold.

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RE: submissive rebel? - 10/11/2007 7:04:53 AM   
IamJustMe2C


Posts: 94
Joined: 10/2/2007
Status: offline 		Look at it like this You are going to work and when you go to work you have to put on a power suit and a power tie and be in a position of power. When you get home you get to take off the power suit and tie and be your self again.
    For you the power is in the suit. you only put it on when you have to and only to go to work the rest of the time you are you. There is nothing wrong with this. This is called life and this is the life we live in. We have to have jobs to survive and pay the bills. Do not wory your self over it it will be ok.

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Submission is a gift unlike any other. The one who can sculpt that gift in a graceful manner is a Master.

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RE: submissive rebel? - 10/11/2007 7:11:09 AM   
DocRudy


Posts: 153
Joined: 9/19/2007
Status: offline 		As others have said, submission does not equate to an amputated spirit.

-DR

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RE: submissive rebel? - 10/11/2007 8:15:48 AM   
InnocentYoungSub


Posts: 210
Joined: 8/7/2007
Status: offline 		Like many other subs have said I don't think people who know me would guess me to be a submissive. I have a strong personality and a concrete idea of who I am, no one else defines that for me. Submission is a gift for the right person, IMO. 

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I live for.. I die for.. I breathe for..

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