submissive rebel?

submissive rebel? (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress

Message

subartist -> submissive rebel? (10/10/2007 9:08:15 AM)
What do you all think about the question of a submissive personality? There seems to be two sides to me, on one hand I'm passionately interested in activism and radical politics, union organizing, challenging authority and hierarchy, etc. And yet, my submissive side is a very real and long standing part of me as well. My deepest wish is to be taken over by a woman who can make me hers, and control me and my life. There seems to be this contradiction, or division, between two different sides to my personality, how can I long to submit to someone, giving her control, and at the same time dedicate myself to challenging authority and the ideals of equality, democracy, etc.? I don't exactly fit the bill of the submissive personality. But it just seems like a contradiction, I don't really divide myself like that, and it doesn't feel contradictory to me. I am always both submissive and rebellious, just in very different ways. I think my submissive side comes from how I wish to relate to women, or especially to someone in a relationship. I am not just generally all around submissive, in fact to others, I'm not really so submissive at all. But my submissive side is still very real, and always present. Does this make sense at all? Any thoughts about this?

MstrssPassion -> RE: submissive rebel? (10/10/2007 9:24:25 AM)
one is your outward self to the world which is how you wish society to respect your being & the other is your personal, intimate side that is only to be shared with a special someone I don't see a conflict but so long as you see it that way you are going to have reservations about fully commiting to either

LadyPact -> RE: submissive rebel? (10/10/2007 9:57:38 AM)
I don't see it as a contradiction either. Obviously, there is a difference within you between challenging and acceptance. The rebel in you asks questions, challenges positions, and is defiant to those things imposed on you from outside sources. The submissive in you yearns for a trust that is earned, control willingly given, and complies to the right Dominant. It really isn't that unusual. Just because you are submissive to One, doesn't necessarily mean you are submissive to anyone.

LadyLynx -> RE: submissive rebel? (10/10/2007 9:58:37 AM)
definately not a contradiction. in the bdsm community, the majority of subs I met have very dominant personalities, very specific ideas and concepts that they are willing to accept. You know what you are comfortable with, and what your not.

stockingluvr54 -> RE: submissive rebel? (10/10/2007 10:31:52 AM)
I don't think your much different than most of us sub minded males? We've been conditioned through out our lives to have dominant personalities and appearances and I believe that most of us do just that? I like to call it my "public side". Somewhere out there in Domina land there is a special woman who will have what it takes to actually see and appreciate your "private side"..... jmo......

toservez -> RE: submissive rebel? (10/10/2007 12:11:16 PM)
I will echo I do not see the contradiction outside of the perpetuation of a stereotype that being submissive means being weak minded. On the contrary, your post clearly shows how all these things are tied into you by a passion for living life to your desires and beliefs.

AAkasha -> RE: submissive rebel? (10/10/2007 12:15:14 PM)
I have yet to ever hear of a dominant woman that specifically is seeking a meek, timid, spineless type of submissive. The "quivering worm" stereotype is mostly perpetuated by porn invented by men. I think dominant women, for the most part, seek qualities in men they find attractive on a very personal level - but rarely does it include overtly "submissive" qualities, at least on the surface. Personally, I don't find myself attracted to submissive men. I find myself attracted to men who are capable of submitting - under the very, very right circumstances, and only to the RIGHT woman. Akasha

cloudboy -> RE: submissive rebel? (10/10/2007 1:06:21 PM)
Seems to me you might have a problem if your Domme was a strident, conservative, Republican.

LadyHibiscus -> RE: submissive rebel? (10/10/2007 2:02:01 PM)
Well I just make "conservative politics" a hard limit. Chiming in, I don't see a problem here. I have yet to meet the dominant female who wants a crawly whiner guy. It takes serious stuff to be my submissive!

Celeste43 -> RE: submissive rebel? (10/10/2007 2:17:24 PM)
There is no dichotomy here. What you've forgotten about is consent. You want a world in which people have the opportunity to choose for themselves. And you want to exercise your own choice for your interpersonal relationships. It's all about informed consent.

MistressDolly -> RE: submissive rebel? (10/10/2007 3:31:08 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: stockingluvr54 I don't think your much different than most of us sub minded males? We've been conditioned through out our lives to have dominant personalities and appearances and I believe that most of us do just that? I like to call it my "public side". Somewhere out there in Domina land there is a special woman who will have what it takes to actually see and appreciate your "private side"..... jmo...... Absolutely. :)

aidan -> RE: submissive rebel? (10/10/2007 5:25:14 PM)
I don't see a contradiction at all, duder. I'm in the same boat. Most of the people in my life wouldn't know I was a submissive masochist unless I told them (ok, they might guess at the masochist part). I'm outspoken against anything I feel is oppressive, I fight for equality and intellectual advancement, I don't back down from arguments or debates if I feel they're important, I question all authority and institution. In short I'm a very unsubmissive person. Buuuut...In the right circumstances, with people I'm comfortable with, on a certain intellectual and emotional level...I submit. I enjoy being...Well, perhaps not dependant, but...subjugated? I dunno. Point is, it works for me. And actually, I think it helps a little bit in the public realm. I think that the small bit of submissve nature I have lets me remove my ego in a lot of situations, helps me differ to people who are better qualified or better informed or better suited to a task. Too many people who claim to be "independant", "outspoken" or "non-conformist" are really just stubborn and narrow-minded. Compromise and discretion (think police discretion, not secretive discretion) is an important part of getting things done. And actually, I think a person needs something of a submissive nature to truly be a good activist. I've had long debates about the nature of the Campbellian hero archetype and submission. How you need to be able to give of yourself to be both a good submissive and a good leader. "The needs of the many out-weigh the needs of the one or the few," and what-not. So keep on keepin' on, subartist. In the words of somebody who I can't remember: "Nobody wants to play with a dumb toy."

hardbodysub -> RE: submissive rebel? (10/10/2007 6:11:05 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: AAkasha I have yet to ever hear of a dominant woman that specifically is seeking a meek, timid, spineless type of submissive. The "quivering worm" stereotype is mostly perpetuated by porn invented by men. I think dominant women, for the most part, seek qualities in men they find attractive on a very personal level - but rarely does it include overtly "submissive" qualities, at least on the surface. Personally, I don't find myself attracted to submissive men. I find myself attracted to men who are capable of submitting - under the very, very right circumstances, and only to the RIGHT woman. Akasha If you think it's perpetuated and invented by men, you haven't looked at many domme profiles.

youngsubgeoff -> RE: submissive rebel? (10/10/2007 7:22:39 PM)
Not a strange thing at all. Im the same way bro. Being a musician, especially a metal musician, I have to appear a certain way on stage. But offstage, away from the lights and music and all that, Im really a nice, sweet guy (Or so Im told anyway). Im a submissive, but it doesnt mean Im spineless. In fact, very few subs I know are spineless. Most are strong, opinionated people. And theres absolutely nothing wrong with that.

laurell3 -> RE: submissive rebel? (10/10/2007 7:57:49 PM)
It's not a contradiction or even uncommon in my experience. l

FullfigRIMaam -> RE: submissive rebel? (10/10/2007 9:42:23 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: cloudboy Seems to me you might have a problem if your Domme was a strident, conservative, Republican. I agree that this is the only instance your being a submissive would be in contradiction with your views/behavior. Otherwise, not a contradiction at all. In fact, lovely sounding. Welcome to the boards subartist. M

YesMistressIrish -> RE: submissive rebel? (10/11/2007 5:25:35 AM)
Hi subartist! The feelings you have are very natural and a big part of the process of growing into your male-subness. Of course you feel some conflict. Accepting yourself fully for all that you are is paramount. The rest will fall into place. *waves hi to subartist, stockinglvr54, Aiden (good to see you), youngsubgeoff andhardbodysub* I am feeling just a tad remorseful for not keeping up with emails. (wink) Irish

IamJustMe2C -> RE: submissive rebel? (10/11/2007 7:04:53 AM)
Look at it like this You are going to work and when you go to work you have to put on a power suit and a power tie and be in a position of power. When you get home you get to take off the power suit and tie and be your self again. For you the power is in the suit. you only put it on when you have to and only to go to work the rest of the time you are you. There is nothing wrong with this. This is called life and this is the life we live in. We have to have jobs to survive and pay the bills. Do not wory your self over it it will be ok.

DocRudy -> RE: submissive rebel? (10/11/2007 7:11:09 AM)
As others have said, submission does not equate to an amputated spirit. -DR

InnocentYoungSub -> RE: submissive rebel? (10/11/2007 8:15:48 AM)
Like many other subs have said I don't think people who know me would guess me to be a submissive. I have a strong personality and a concrete idea of who I am, no one else defines that for me. Submission is a gift for the right person, IMO.

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.03125