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The devil made me do it. - 10/10/2007 4:36:48 PM   
RRafe


Posts: 2060
Joined: 8/29/2007
Status: offline 		I guess I'm a bit amused about something I have  seen over and over. Perhaps it's to do with conditioning and shame. Many of the past girls I have played with got off on submission and bondage-for the reason that they felt "forced". Some of the stuff they liked in that regard got downright wierd. Fortunately-I'm a wierd sort of guy-not a big issue.

Anyone else noticing this?

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I seem to be some wierd combination of Ren and Stimpy
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RE: The devil made me do it. - 10/10/2007 5:05:03 PM   
hisannabelle


Posts: 1992
Joined: 12/3/2006
From: Tallahassee, FL, USA
Status: offline 		greetings rrafe,

not weird at all to me :) sometimes feeling forced to do it is half (or all) the fun. feeling forced to do things i find shameful or humiliating is sometimes a huge turnon for me, for example, and sometimes, yes, it can play off of social conditioning or other things (although not always).

i would be surprised if this wasn't a common experience for many people.

respectfully,
annabelle.  


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i have the kind of beauty that moves...

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RE: The devil made me do it. - 10/10/2007 5:14:16 PM   
WinsomeDefiance


Posts: 6719
Joined: 8/7/2007
Status: offline 		I think that's one aspect of bondage I find most appealing.  The sense of helplessness and the freedom from 'accountability' it inspires.  While I always hold myself accountable for my decisions - and would never imply otherwise - it is nice to enter into that headspace where I feel helpless and can surrender to the sensations/situation as if the choices are removed so that I don't have to feel guilty for being umm, naughty.

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RE: The devil made me do it. - 10/10/2007 5:15:24 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Most people need permission to enjoy something, specially something they've been taught or believed is wrong for so long.  A lot of subs are also people pleasers who always need to work to make sure everything else is taken care of.

By forcing it- both issues are resolved.  The sub is forced to relax and take what they are given, free from expectations of others on all levels.

I like forceplay just because of the struggle and adrenaline.

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RE: The devil made me do it. - 10/10/2007 5:47:21 PM   
Twicehappy2x


Posts: 1096
Joined: 3/27/2007
Status: offline 		 
Not for me, it is hard to force the willing or the enthusiastic.

I am terrible at role play, somehow the "on no not that" just does not come off well if you are grinning and spreading your legs when you say it.

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The human heart is not a finite container but an ever expanding universe with all the stars contained there in.

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RE: The devil made me do it. - 10/10/2007 5:49:04 PM   
Tigrita


Posts: 484
Joined: 8/16/2007
From: California
Status: offline 		I don't feel actively submissive if that makes any sense.  But the only primary partner I'm be satisfied with is one stronger and more dominant than myself (and I am pretty strong and dominat myself).  I do feel like my submission has to be forced to some degree in most circumstances.  I don't really want to be submissive, I want to be dominated.  I don't know if that makes any sense. 

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~ Tigrita

There is no right path, only the path you take.

Success is making life happen, versus just letting life happen to you.

"Many of the things I enjoy, I enjoy because I don't enjoy them." - Charlotte

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RE: The devil made me do it. - 10/10/2007 5:55:01 PM   
WinsomeDefiance


Posts: 6719
Joined: 8/7/2007
Status: offline 		It makes a great deal of sense to me, Tigrita.

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RE: The devil made me do it. - 10/10/2007 5:57:23 PM   
flowspen


Posts: 133
Joined: 5/5/2007
From: Memphis
Status: offline 		To me being forced has a very enticing appeal but beyond that mentally it is like i am not actually responsible for what i have done, i dont have to carry the guilt i may feel for allowing myself to do something i may feel is bad but that i deeply desire.  like eating the forbidden fruit the snake made me do it!! 

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RE: The devil made me do it. - 10/10/2007 5:57:32 PM   
RRafe


Posts: 2060
Joined: 8/29/2007
Status: offline 		The primal aspects of this are undeniable. I ended up have to overbuild most of my bondage gear-because so many girls really enjoyed struggling against the stuff. It's amazing how a little 120 pound thing can absolutly shred porrly made stuff from sex shops-I was impressed!

But I guess that passion and adrenalin can do that. But I respect that,so I just make it as secure as possible-so they can feel safe..if that makes any sense.

_____________________________

I seem to be some wierd combination of Ren and Stimpy

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RE: The devil made me do it. - 10/10/2007 6:02:22 PM   
Twicehappy2x


Posts: 1096
Joined: 3/27/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: flowspen

i dont have to carry the guilt i may feel for allowing myself to do something i may feel is bad but that i deeply desire.  like eating the forbidden fruit the snake made me do it!! 


Oh my, showing my generation again. I firmly believe, if it causes no unasked for harm nor involves the innocent or unable to consent;
 
 If it feels good, do it!
 
I feel zero guilt about doing anything i want to under the above circumstances.
 
Though there are a few things i would love to do that the law would frown on, like race a dirt bike around the local golf course, lol.

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The human heart is not a finite container but an ever expanding universe with all the stars contained there in.

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RE: The devil made me do it. - 10/10/2007 6:07:41 PM   
flowspen


Posts: 133
Joined: 5/5/2007
From: Memphis
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Twicehappy2x

quote:

ORIGINAL: flowspen

i dont have to carry the guilt i may feel for allowing myself to do something i may feel is bad but that i deeply desire.  like eating the forbidden fruit the snake made me do it!! 


Oh my, showing my generation again. I firmly believe, if it causes no unasked for harm nor involves the innocent or unable to consent;
 
 If it feels good, do it!
 
I feel zero guilt about doing anything i want to under the above circumstances.
 
Though there are a few things i would love to do that the law would frown on, like race a dirt bike around the local golf course, lol.


You know you may see me saying the same thing to someone else to not feel guilt but to enjoy.  i do know for me though that some things i like go directly against how i was raised, or my views on society and they create corevalue issues within me.  That is hard for me to control for it is at my core that says, hey this isn't right though my mind and body says hey it is right.  i have just found that when actually more forced to do it the conflict doesn't flare up as high compaired to if i just do it.

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RE: The devil made me do it. - 10/10/2007 6:12:30 PM   
Dilseachd


Posts: 53
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		I have always felt the whole "force me to do something" thing was an interesting situation.  First....if someone wants to do something..then why must they be "forced"...if they already want to do it?    It basically comes down to guilt removal.  As previously mentioned if someone feels guilty about doing something  because of their particular raising..social norms etc then if they find someone to "force" them into it then blame/guilt is taken off of them and put onto the "horrible mean evil dominant" who did not give them a choice.

Once the bondage is in place.. and the session begins then you can relax and get into your space.  I do understand the rush and thrill of being in that "forced" situation where you cant walk away.   It does become easier to deal with a situation you dont particularly like if you have no choice and can it change it from a situation that would disgust you normally into a highly erotic one.

This doesnt just have to be some particularly "weird" or perverse thing either.  For instance in myself.  I love needle play..adore the endorphins they bring...but I just cant stick one in myself...no matter how I try to work myself up for it...cant.   But I can let someone else do it in a heartbeat...and I dont even have to be bound for it.   Not really the same as a "forced" issue but I think it falls into a similar mindset.

Regards to all.

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RE: The devil made me do it. - 10/10/2007 6:13:39 PM   
Tigrita


Posts: 484
Joined: 8/16/2007
From: California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: WinsomeDefiance
It makes a great deal of sense to me, Tigrita.


Thanks Winsome =)

Haha, pretty much the only thing I'll really sit still for (come running for and go "me! me! me!", in fact) without any physical or mental force is shibari.  That is an awesome feeling even though it isn't forced to initiate in my circumstances (though it could be of course).  Kind of confuses me why I like it so much since that fact is so different from the way I enjoy other things. 

_____________________________

~ Tigrita

There is no right path, only the path you take.

Success is making life happen, versus just letting life happen to you.

"Many of the things I enjoy, I enjoy because I don't enjoy them." - Charlotte

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RE: The devil made me do it. - 10/10/2007 6:15:11 PM   
RRafe


Posts: 2060
Joined: 8/29/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: flowspen

quote:

ORIGINAL: Twicehappy2x

quote:

ORIGINAL: flowspen

i dont have to carry the guilt i may feel for allowing myself to do something i may feel is bad but that i deeply desire.  like eating the forbidden fruit the snake made me do it!! 


Oh my, showing my generation again. I firmly believe, if it causes no unasked for harm nor involves the innocent or unable to consent;
 
 If it feels good, do it!
 
I feel zero guilt about doing anything i want to under the above circumstances.
 
Though there are a few things i would love to do that the law would frown on, like race a dirt bike around the local golf course, lol.


You know you may see me saying the same thing to someone else to not feel guilt but to enjoy.  i do know for me though that some things i like go directly against how i was raised, or my views on society and they create corevalue issues within me.  That is hard for me to control for it is at my core that says, hey this isn't right though my mind and body says hey it is right.  i have just found that when actually more forced to do it the conflict doesn't flare up as high compaired to if i just do it.


Ive noticed this in girls afterwards too. A lot of them actually begged to be bound during a lot of the stuff they felt "dirty" about doing. I would not have bothered otherwise-but I'm helpful that way.

_____________________________

I seem to be some wierd combination of Ren and Stimpy

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RE: The devil made me do it. - 10/10/2007 6:21:51 PM   
flowspen


Posts: 133
Joined: 5/5/2007
From: Memphis
Status: offline 		RRafe...   LOL... it is good that your helpful that way.. :)

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RE: The devil made me do it. - 10/10/2007 6:24:43 PM   
RRafe


Posts: 2060
Joined: 8/29/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: flowspen

RRafe...   LOL... it is good that your helpful that way.. :)


Well, it's because I am so NICE!  wanders away to create weapons of ass-destruction

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I seem to be some wierd combination of Ren and Stimpy

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RE: The devil made me do it. - 10/10/2007 6:37:33 PM   
gypsygrl


Posts: 1471
Joined: 10/8/2005
From: new york state
Status: offline
quote:

because so many girls really enjoyed struggling against the stuff


I don't like being restrained, per se, but I like struggling against restraints.  I just need to fight sometimes, and restrainsts give me the feeling that I can fight without hurting the other person or having them take it personally.  I know its not them I need to fight but knowing that doesn't take away the need.

I also get really hyper and edgy and have a hard time sitting still when I'm like that.  I often fantasize about being bound really really tight, so tight my eyeballs pop out, when I'm feeling that way. (Guess how I'm feeling right now?)


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RE: The devil made me do it. - 10/10/2007 6:44:28 PM   
lighthearted


Posts: 1165
Joined: 11/26/2006
Status: offline 		I like the restraint aspect, but not because I feel any shame...I just like the idea I'm powerless to stop whatever's gonna happen. 


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"Thou art to me a delicious torment." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

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RE: The devil made me do it. - 10/10/2007 6:52:13 PM   
subtee


Posts: 5133
Joined: 7/26/2007
Status: offline
quote:

I ended up have to overbuild most of my bondage gear-because so many girls really enjoyed struggling against the stuff. It's amazing how a little 120 pound thing can absolutly shred porrly made stuff from sex shops-I was impressed!


Yea, uh, I can help ya out there...Inspector #43 here, yea it's kinda my specialty...quality control (so to speak), so, uh, I'd be happy to help you "test" your equipment, ya know, make sure it's up to code and whatnot, for safety's sake...just throwing that out there..."service with a smile" (and a little scream or two)

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RE: The devil made me do it. - 10/10/2007 6:57:34 PM   
RRafe


Posts: 2060
Joined: 8/29/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: subtee

quote:

I ended up have to overbuild most of my bondage gear-because so many girls really enjoyed struggling against the stuff. It's amazing how a little 120 pound thing can absolutly shred porrly made stuff from sex shops-I was impressed!


Yea, uh, I can help ya out there...Inspector #43 here, yea it's kinda my specialty...quality control (so to speak), so, uh, I'd be happy to help you "test" your equipment, ya know, make sure it's up to code and whatnot, for safety's sake...just throwing that out there..."service with a smile" (and a little scream or two)


hmm.......do you promise to really tug and throw yourself around? I mean, how can I be sure you aren't just humoring me? I'm gonna be offering this stuff commercially-I have a tough market to satisfy!

_____________________________

I seem to be some wierd combination of Ren and Stimpy

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