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FTopinMichigan -> RE: BBWs and BDSM (9/16/2005 6:54:58 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Handspankingdom
NOTE: <quotes snipped, and numbered for easier response, posted below. [:)]>
#1 - Handspankingdom writes:
I agree there is no need for rudeness, but to express that your preference is not for BBW's or tattoos as rude, would depend on how it was relayed.
#2 - Handspankingdom writes:
I feel this has more to do with the way society portrays men (chiefly loathing women's advocacy groups- who constantly demonize men). If a women is a sub, she's exploring her sexuality, if a guy is a sub, he's a dirty minded, self gratifying, wanker (I often hear and see the word 'worthless'), trying to get his rocks off. In addition, how many female dommes are seeking a female sub for financial domination?
In general, many female dommes seem to be far less tolerant/understanding/accomodating of male subs then female subs (chiefly because the female sub has broader options) and society has branded men as 'thinking with their penises'. To this extent, it is not a wonder to me why orgasm denial, cbt and pro-domination has found a serious following amongst female dommes (they seem to love and hate our appendages all at the same time).
#3 - Handspankingdom writes:
You conclude your message by sharing your experiences with male subs and formulating the opinion that female subs are more confident and having more than one domme would suggest they have a greater level of self esteem? This is self fulfilling logic and tradition seems to play a role in this. Many female dommes seeking complete control will not allow their male sub to 'play' with others as they are seeking property (or worse their past romances may have capsized because of a cheating mate, and taking these romantic frustrations out on the sub results).
Hi, Handspankingdom.
Re response: #1
Yes, the stating of a preferences is, and should, be offered, when in initial conversation with someone unknown. I enjoy someone that is up front with themselves, and even like when they are rude, as it shows their true self to me, right from the start. My own reference was not about a man "just" stating his preference, although he backtracked and flubbed his way through his latter comments, to try to make it a "preference." His rant about it, was not "just" a preference, but more a rant for him, about those he "didn't" enjoy. "What I like" is probably a better way to express oneself, over "what I don't like" in a woman, especially when you don't know the lady you are talking to online. I think most folks would agree on this.
Re:#2:
I do find it interesting, how you see the general perception of male submissives. In my own local community, I've seen male submissives rejected, and judged, by BOTH women AND men. Men seem more judgmental over male submissives than anyone. The terms you've offered, are the way I've heard "men" express complaints about sub males, I've not heard that from the Domme friends I have.
As a female dominant, I would have no experience with how many Dommes seek financial domination, whether it be from a man or a woman. I'm also only interested in a man...one man, where ever he is [:)], so I have no base of infomration with contact to female submissives, except as friendship. You do seem to have experience with Dommes, and to offer your take on it, is helpful to understand others.
I do think you may be generalizing a bit, which is something we all do. (Oops..did "I" just generalize again! [:D] ) While my own interests are quite different than those you've listed, I do agree that many relationships have aspects of the "love-hate" things that we all deal with everyday in our lives. I love my job, but I hate to work. Some of my partners crave deep pain, and then when it happens, they dread and hate it...until after.
Re:#3
On my concluding remark, I believe you may have misread my comment, as I can't follow your response to it, with regards to my own words expressed.
I wrote about self esteem not being an issue in the female subsmissives, that I've met, but pointed out that some even have more self esteem that a few Dommes that I met.
I wrote: Some even have more than a few Dommes that I've met.
Prehaps a better sentence structure would have been: Some (fem subs) even have more self esteem, than a few Dommes that I've met.
That was my previous closing sentiment. [:)]
K
PS
quote:
ORIGINAL: Handspankingdom
(I found your profile nice, but noticed you too were a bit ambiguous about your body size). For what it's worth, I see this as perfectly normal.
Oh...and the ambiguity of my "weight" is not a secret at all, as I see it. The photo is pretty self explanatory, showing a good portion of my body, and my profile/journal indicates I've gotten healthy through life style changes. (I've found most people don't READ profile/journals...so they miss pertinent facts.) I think you'll find that many women don't list their actual weight in a profile, and listing my weight by pounds would not accurately reflect my body size, as muscle weighs more than fat. I've slimmed down almost five sizes since the picture was taken, if you're wondering, and the photo is left there to attract the type of men that may be more interested in me as lady, over the type of body they might get to play with. [;)] I'm upfront about making changes to my body...that's listed. I suppose if they are seeking a BBW they could be a little disappointed...but I'm still curvy, and still getting stronger. "I can kick butt, without smearing my eyeliner." (A fridge magnet I have...that's true!)
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