jadedserendipity
Posts: 3596
Joined: 10/12/2007
Status: offline
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Well lets see, this is tons of fun but I am not having a good day and maybe a vent will do me some good..... I was the second child born into a loveless marriage you see my parents were together solely because my mother acted upon an ignorant impulse. So my mother being the eldest of the girls in her family thought always that the eldest is the first to do everything period, end of story, that is just how it is. The day her younger sister came home saying she was engaged my mother harped on my father and being that they grew up in rural texas and this was the late 60's early 70's and they were young my father proposed my granny and grandpa agreed and they were married. Okay folks so what comes after marriage I mean we all know the lame song we learned in kindergarten....a baby carriage.... Yes so my aunt was married as well at this point and she was also pregnant so my mother thought it high time to try her hand out at pregnancy and motherhood, and so my parents concieved my sister..... Lucky her..... My parents literally hated one another though my father had his pride and they were going to stay married because you just did not divorce..... So they stayed together through all of the bad times and my mother had every intention of never having another child simply getting my sister through school and then leaving my father. Well one night for some god forsaken reason unbeknownst to any of us when my sister was 12 they decided I suppose to try the loving husband a wife act and guess what..... They concieved lucky little ole me.... woo-fucking-hooo! And so this was their shot they were going to try and do things right this time..... It was doomed from the start. You see the Dr's told them I was to be a boy and my father was over joyed, well guys guess what I was, am, and always will be a girl.... Yeah so he hated me from the moment I slid into this world until the day he was yanked out.... Once I was born my mother tried her very best to take care of me, and my father provided not well, but provided nonetheless, because he would not allow my mother to work. He was an alcoholic abusive worthless excuse for a man..... In my eyes my mother was/is a saint, she took care of me kept me from recieving a punishment (more like beating from hell) from my father, she taught me to read, she loved me no matter what, even the day she discovered my 5 foot long mural in crayolas behind her sofa...... I clung to my mother she was my sanity and my happiness. My sister moved out when she was 16 to live with my aunt and uncle, she was married by 19.... And my entire world came crashing down around my tiny 7 year old body the day my momma died....... My father decided I was too much of a chore, and he hired a nanny to raise me he was never home he was always out drinking I rarely saw him for the next year...... When he finally started to come around he had met some woman whom he told me was to be my new mommy....bullfuckingshit and over my dead body!!!...... I met her, and she was nice, she just did not need to be anywhere near me or my mothers home! Well they married and began living together in my mothers home, and she became the reason I recieved the one physical beating I ever got from my father.... I was black and blue back to knees.... He refused to stop because I refused to cry..... Amazingly adult of him right?..... I could not sit, I did not go to school for over a week, I was miserable, and I hated her, she was no better than he...During the course of their marriage I was sexually abused by one of their friends a man in his late 40's and my father talked about it to everyone(I hated him)..Physically abused by both of them, mentally and verbally abused like no other..... What an amazing duo they were..... Of course their marriage too was doomed from the start, you see she was but a gold digger and wanted him because when she met him he was throwing money around like there was no tomorrow...... And so when the days came of him drinking away the money to pay the bills with things between them were strained.... Finally the day came when she left just like I knew she would..... And he fell even deeper into his drinking..... We were evicted from the home I grew up in.... I was 14 and so lost..... My Aunt, not the one who spurred my mothers itch to marry but her baby sister and best friend in the world, took me in and finished raising me. My father died when I was 16 the day before my junior year of high school, I flew home to attend his funeral and collect my parents things, you see by now my sister had a life of her own and absolutely refused communication with our stepmother.... She had things like both sets of my parents wedding rings, their matching diamond watches and bracelets, my moms Christmas tree skirt...... Although she left him they never divorced, and so she controlled it all..... Well she refused me anything of his or of theirs and because of their marriage I have no claim...... I celebrate Christmas every year wishing for my mothers tree skirt, I would love to have their wedding rings just to remind me of them, but I have nothing, and so that is my family.....
I know that was long as all hell but I started typing and it just kinda flowed from my fingers.... Sorry if your eyes are burning now....
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-:Anias Nin:- I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naive or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman.
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RE: complain about your family here - 
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) by being soft. When your as hardened as I am the pitty bounces off along with the insults.
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