My search for a female submissive for us.. (Full Version)

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kitttty -> My search for a female submissive for us.. (10/11/2007 6:20:07 PM)

My Master has ordered me to find a submissive partner for us. I am not sure if he intends for her to submit to me or if he intends for us to submit to him together without a hierarchy of authority on our parts. I am not familiar with how to go about finding a female submissive or even another curious girl at all. Someone suggested this site to me and I will use it as best I can, but it just seems so hard to believe I can find someone- maybe because I myself would not wish to be the third person in a relationship. I do not mind the thought of serving Master with another girl at all though- it totally turns me on. I guess I am just really afraid of Dominant partners I do not know, which is why I would be hesitant to submit to one if I were contacted over the internet somehow. This is really important to him, and therefore it is to me too. What should I do?



Exquemelin -> RE: My search for a female submissive for us.. (10/11/2007 6:37:59 PM)

Talk to your Master and figure out exactly what he's looking for and try to figure what you want as well. And um, why are you submitting to random doms?



sambamanslilgirl -> RE: My search for a female submissive for us.. (10/11/2007 6:49:08 PM)

my advice - tread carefully

many of us submissives/slaves are already collared and owned by Dominants/Masters who don't like to share. 

however do talk to your master about what he's seeking in a 2nd




Missokyst -> RE: My search for a female submissive for us.. (10/11/2007 6:53:27 PM)

If you only want someone to play with you both, why not hire someone?  It is faster, easier, and there is no need to commit to something until you find someone who would enjoy being the other corner of a triangle. 
Edited to add..
I never get why men get their women to find them another girlfriend, but dang it sure happens a lot on these sites.
Kyst 



kitttty -> RE: My search for a female submissive for us.. (10/11/2007 7:03:27 PM)

quote:

And um, why are you submitting to random doms?


Was I not clear? I am afraid of submitting to random doms, which is why 1) I wouldn't do it and 2) can't understand why some other woman would want to.

quote:

If you only want someone to play with you both, why not hire someone?


Well, I am broke, but I suppose I could ask the Master at least.

I wonder if it is more likely to find a Master that would share if my Master shared me with him? Again, I will say that I am afraid of all Masters I don't know, but I assume there are some that I could slowly come to trust within specified limits.



shellzbythesea -> RE: My search for a female submissive for us.. (10/11/2007 7:08:57 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: kitttty

My Master has ordered me to find a submissive partner for us. I am not sure if he intends for her to submit to me or if he intends for us to submit to him together without a hierarchy of authority on our parts. ....

I do not mind the thought of serving Master with another girl at all though- it totally turns me on. ....


i was requested to do the same at one time but at least my Dom told me what she would be (used) for.  i would definitely want to know that before proceeding as it could totally change the whole dynamics of Y/your relationship.
 
As for the 2nd part of your note...when i read your profile i didn't get a real sense that it is something you want, as well.  you may attract another participant more easily if she knows she is wanted by both partners.



LuckyAlbatross -> RE: My search for a female submissive for us.. (10/11/2007 7:15:43 PM)

Until you both have decided exactly what this "third person" will be in the relationship, going to seek it is rather futile.

And I agree that if you just want someone to play with on occasion, paying for it is the much simpler and efficient way to go.



kitttty -> RE: My search for a female submissive for us.. (10/11/2007 7:16:49 PM)

The issue is not that I don't want her. The issue is that I am worried that I won't be able to find her and my failure would be an enourmous disappointment to the Master. This is why I sort of wish I didn't have to do this. In a sense, if I didn't have to I would still want to try. I am just anxious because it is a requirement of me that depends on the cooperation of another person. This is in my mind, outside of my control and I hate the fact that pleasing my Master depends on things outside of my control.



kitttty -> RE: My search for a female submissive for us.. (10/11/2007 7:18:15 PM)

quote:

Until you both have decided exactly what this "third person" will be in the relationship, going to seek it is rather futile.


I think what will happen depends largely on the interests of the third person.



LuckyAlbatross -> RE: My search for a female submissive for us.. (10/11/2007 7:18:24 PM)

It's ok if you hate it.  The point is, do you accept it?



kitttty -> RE: My search for a female submissive for us.. (10/11/2007 7:31:38 PM)

I accept the task. I do not accept the ramifications of failure. I failed once before and that resulted in Master not speaking or writing to me for a few weeks. It royally sucked. It's so frustrating. I just wish I knew how to find a willing woman.



TwistedLady -> RE: My search for a female submissive for us.. (10/11/2007 7:36:13 PM)

Call me silly, but why are you the one on here looking for someone for your Master? It seems to be your Master who wants another lady. I'm thinking it should be up to him to find someone. How can you disappoint him? It's right near impossible to find a partner for someone else besides yourself. I know I'd personally be insulted if a sub came to me asking if I would consider their Dom/Master.

In short, I'd advise you to try and if you can't, don't worry about disappointing him. Perhaps he should come here, make a profile for the two of you, and do some searching himself. After all, only he knows what he wants in another partner.


Edit: I've never been able to figure out how to use the reply buttons. I always seem to reply to the wrong person. 



obis -> RE: My search for a female submissive for us.. (10/11/2007 7:38:10 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: kitttty
My Master has ordered me to find a submissive partner for us. I am not sure if he intends for her to submit to me or if he intends for us to submit to him together without a hierarchy of authority on our parts. I am not familiar with how to go about finding a female submissive or even another curious girl at all. Someone suggested this site to me and I will use it as best I can, but it just seems so hard to believe I can find someone- maybe because I myself would not wish to be the third person in a relationship. I do not mind the thought of serving Master with another girl at all though- it totally turns me on. I guess I am just really afraid of Dominant partners I do not know, which is why I would be hesitant to submit to one if I were contacted over the internet somehow. This is really important to him, and therefore it is to me too. What should I do?


Crazy idea -- ask him?



sambamanslilgirl -> RE: My search for a female submissive for us.. (10/11/2007 7:45:58 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Missokyst

I never get why men get their women to find them another girlfriend, but dang it sure happens a lot on these sites.
Kyst 

reason why i left my former ...he wanted a stable and i wanted no part of it



kitttty -> RE: My search for a female submissive for us.. (10/11/2007 7:49:08 PM)

He says to put ads out on CL, which I am doing althogh I am so far not getting real responses.

quote:

I'm thinking it should be up to him to find someone. How can you disappoint him? It's right near impossible to find a partner for someone else besides yourself.


Yes, that would be the fair and equitable way of doing things now wouldn't it? It would also be fair if I didn' have to call him Master/Sir while he gets to call me whatever he wants.

These are my two 'easy' tasks this year for Master- 1) get another girl to play with. Doesnt matter if she is thin or fat or old or young. He will even accept a girl who isn't submissive but just wants a three some. She just has to want to play with us.

The second easy task is that I have to get into law school (and probably go).



iammachine -> RE: My search for a female submissive for us.. (10/11/2007 7:58:17 PM)

quote:

I am not sure if he intends for her to submit to me or if he intends for us to submit to him together without a hierarchy of authority on our parts.


That is something that you should definitely figure out before you start actively talking to and looking for a third. :) Communicate with your partner, what are his needs? What are yours? What is absolutely important to both of you, and what are you more flexible about? What role will this third person have? Finding play partners is easier than finding more long term partners, but either way you need to consider their needs as well once they are being brought into the equation.

With those things in mind, you can start looking at people. Don't expect anyone to fit into a preconceived notion of what you want, simply keep in mind the characterisitcs you do want and take notice of whether or not those are present in this person. You're likely to talk to and meet a lot of people before you find one that is quite "right", but hopefully you might be able to make a few new friends in the process. As always, YMMV, that's just the way that I tend to operate and it works quite well for me. I find meeting and learning people for all of their qualities is much simpler and more successful than trying to meet an idea. :)



iammachine -> RE: My search for a female submissive for us.. (10/11/2007 8:00:58 PM)

quote:

He says to put ads out on CL, which I am doing althogh I am so far not getting real responses.


By "real" do you mean "compatible"? Watch out for that trap!

Anyway, couples looking for a third are a dime a dozen, so yeah, good luck. :)



KiandPhoenix -> RE: My search for a female submissive for us.. (10/11/2007 8:04:36 PM)

Finding any third is a lot easier than finding a compatiable third. Finding a third who will do more good than damage is also just about as hard. Everyone has their place, but getting someone else is going to be quite a task. It will take a lot of work every day, and even then it might take years.

I don't want to discourage you, I really do wish you well in your search.

~Ki



Aceton -> RE: My search for a female submissive for us.. (10/11/2007 8:06:06 PM)

Wow, sorry, but any man that sends his girl out to find a girl for him is such a royal pussy that I can't even begin to describe it. Any master that cuts his sub off for failing when she tried her best.... well, I don't know you from a hole in the wall, but I am going to assume that you're a decent person worthy of being treated well, so I'm going to tell you this even though I know you don't want to hear it and won't listen anyway. He's an asstard (IMNSHO). Forget finding another girl and find a guy who doesn't need his sub to pick up chicks for him.



thegirlincharge -> RE: My search for a female submissive for us.. (10/11/2007 8:06:27 PM)

Ahhhhh....yet another Dom sending his submissive out to do his trolling...yawn.



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