RE: 9 out of 10 said they prefare being sick

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RE: 9 out of 10 said they prefare being sick - 10/12/2007 8:35:53 AM

toservez

Posts: 1733
Joined: 9/7/2006
From: All over now in Minnesota
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Celeste43

Just because they aren't looking for a relationship doesn't mean they don't make friends. Just because you are looking for a relationship doesn't mean everyone else is. And just because you prefer your relationships, d/s, and your s & m to be combined doesn't mean that others have to also.

What's the purpose of this except to proclaim that because you're looking for one thing, and anybody who is looking for something else is beneath you?

Could not write this any better if I took a week to.

By the way I seriously doubt it is 90% only looking for no strings good time. No way near my experience on the other side.

I never have understood this obsession with many on the other side of wishing, praying and hoping to the point of actually buying into their own delusions that practically everyone but them is some how bad, dangerous or fake. Building yourself up by tearing others down is so not attractive.

_____________________________

I am sorry I do not fit Webster's defintion of a slave but thankfully my Master is not Webster.

"Anything that contradicts experience and logic should be abandoned." - H.H. The 14th Dalai Lama

(in reply to Celeste43)

Post #: 21

RE: 9 out of 10 said they prefare being sick - 10/12/2007 9:39:08 AM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: JarlMarak

Why is it that it seems that 9 out of 10 Dom's here are only in to playing and not interested in any thing else. This seems to have the effect of making most others not wanting to contact them.

7 and a half out of 10 submissives would like to know where you got those numbers. I bet the same place I got mine.

quote:

So Question to the Boards is, Would you spend time with someone who you would not talk to or spend time with outside play?

Depends on the person, where I am in life (single, attached, owned) and the circumstances. If things were right, sure. In that situation it would all about my needs getting met.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to JarlMarak)

Post #: 22

RE: 9 out of 10 said they prefare being sick - 10/12/2007 10:24:51 AM

sundownhawk

Posts: 151
Joined: 8/17/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: JarlMarak
Would you spend time with someone who you would not talk to or spend time with outside play?

Oddly phrased question that I will take to mean would I spend time with people who are not play partners.
The answer is yes, they are called friends.

_____________________________

The number one job of the dominant is to continually seduce consent from the bottom. ~Joseph W. Bean~

(in reply to JarlMarak)

Post #: 23

RE: 9 out of 10 said they prefare being sick - 10/12/2007 11:00:44 AM

dawntreader

Posts: 3045
Joined: 11/23/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kana

Sigh, just today I think I am gonna lay down the lance, chose not to tilt at any windmills and not give a rats ass what anyone else does and instead maybe focus on what I am doing.
I mean truly, I could give a shit what 9 out of 10 doms do here. If anything, all the ___________ (fill in the blank) just make the guys who are real look that much better. So thanks trolls.

Greetings Don Quixote,

9 out of 10 subs agree with you

j

_____________________________

It is choice - not chance - that determines our destiny~
Jean Nidetch

There is a war going on for your mind...if you are thinking, you are winning~
Flobots

(in reply to Kana)

Post #: 24

RE: 9 out of 10 said they prefare being sick - 10/12/2007 11:15:10 AM

CreativeDominant

Posts: 11032
Joined: 3/11/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: xoxi

"Has now become"?

Have you missed the past, oh, two thousand years?

I've been here for 52 of them...~smiles~. And because it is that way for some does not make it right...or wrong. But neither does believing that it should be part of a committed relationship make those of us who believe in anything...including sex...being conditional upon a deeper relationship as not our way. Do I personally get the idea that some things come with time and a deeper understanding and caring about each other? Yes, I do. I would not expect a submissive to immediately fuck me within 10 minutes of meeting me. But then, I do not expect her to submit in any way, let alone completely, within 10 minutes of meeting me. But neither do I feel that it necessarily HAS to be that I give you my heart and soul in exchange for yours in order to get to any sort of submission or to any of the "dirty" stuff. Let's face it...the carrot that is dangled until you commit may be a carrot sorely lacking in flavor or willingness to be "cooked" in a variety of ways and in a frequent manner. Then what? Break the heart of the one you committed to because that carrot just doesn't do it for you or live the rest of your life with someone who dangled something that you thought might be worth having but in the cold light of day, really isn't? There's a line that is walked on that is different with each person we meet.

quote:

You are right there are quite a few scummy pieces of shit that will lie to a girl to get in her pants. I've had it happen to me. But if I like someone I want a commitment from them. Not just sex. And if they like me back they should want one from me.

Not necessarily. You can like someone deeply and yet, not want to make that commitment just yet...due to career pressures, family pressures, wanting to be cautious, not wanting to feel pressured, whatever reason.

quote:

I'm not using sex as a bargaining chip to get them to commit but rather saying these are my terms, if I'm giving my body to you I want to be able to give my heart and mind as well. Because I'm one of those submitty types who wants sex to be a power exchange. Anything less than that just feels cheap.

It can. And if it feels that way for you whenever that situation arises, then that is what it feels like for you.
But it can feel wonderful too and the power exchange with sex included can be wonderful and not be...or become...an ongoing thing.

I've played somewhat of a devil's advocate in this thread because while I do believe what I have said above, I also know that I seek a long-term relationship. I've stated on other threads that I prefer to own someone, not rent or borrow them anymore. I've stated that I wish to have a being, a partner. But, I have also stated that I have been burnt and I have lived long enough to make observations and draw conclusions about what it is that I want and like and what it is that I feel about sex. I can understand your viewpoint and still disagree with it but realize that my disagreement comes from a differing perspective and differing life experiences than yours. You have noted scummy guys who get involved with a girl just to get in her pants...I have noted girls who withhold sex until there is a commitment and then, what they have withheld wasn't all that worthy to begin with OR in some cases, once granted, it came with all kinds of other conditions.

(in reply to xoxi)

Post #: 25

RE: 9 out of 10 said they prefare being sick - 10/12/2007 12:45:13 PM

Lashra

Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline

I must be the odd duck Domme because I definitely am in this for more than just play. I am in it for the loving D/s relationship that I have with my submissive. We are both happy with our relationship and couldn't give a rats ass what other people think about it. What other Dominants do in their relationships is their business. I am not going to tell them they they are sick or wannabes just because they do not do things the way that I do.

~Lashra

_____________________________

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”

(in reply to JarlMarak)

Post #: 26

RE: 9 out of 10 said they prefare being sick - 10/12/2007 12:49:45 PM

Prinsexx

Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: JarlMarak

Why is it that it seems that 9 out of 10 Dom's here are only in to playing and not interested in any thing else.

Because they understand irony.

(in reply to JarlMarak)

Post #: 27

RE: 9 out of 10 said they prefare being sick - 10/12/2007 2:26:19 PM

laurell3

Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: chiaThePet

Well, we're spending time with you outside of play.

Guess that takes care of that.

chia* (the pet)

LOL

Honestly, I'm not sure where you get your stats from, but since you're not going to sleep with them, what skin is it off your nose what they prefer to do? I'd much rather have someone be honest about their relationship motives than be chastised by an unaccepting community into a bad situation.

Personally I prefer an LTR and find that depth of the relationship makes the experience much better. However, I have in the past had "play partners" as the search is frustrating and long and every single one of them spoke to me outside of play and were very good friends.
l

< Message edited by laurell3 -- 10/12/2007 2:29:12 PM >

(in reply to chiaThePet)

Post #: 28

RE: 9 out of 10 said they prefare being sick - 10/12/2007 3:52:55 PM

Prinsexx

Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline

I thought the OP was about emetophelia....
a friend sent me some porn once and it had a nubile young sub being forced after rough oral sex to throw up over the toilet whilst her Dom asked over and over if she realised how special she was...after a few viewings I found it truly arousing.....since I tend to try to do without shame it still remains one of those scenes I have never carried through though, heaving of course used to happen (I say used to ) sometimes after deep throat......whilst I can just about tolerate my own puke it's really difficult for me to get that a dominant might get off on it...
but the guy in the porn certainly did as it was for real and not a mock-up

< Message edited by Prinsexx -- 10/12/2007 3:55:03 PM >

(in reply to JarlMarak)

Post #: 29

RE: 9 out of 10 said they prefare being sick - 10/12/2007 4:06:34 PM

LadyLynx

Posts: 1098
Joined: 7/24/2007
Status: offline

*squicks* lol sorry prinsexx, couldn't help it

To the OP: Now I am a switch, but I consider myself to be more toppy. To answear your question, am I just looking for play partners? No. I mean play partners are fun, don't get me wrong, but they have to be friends as well. If I can't connect with someone on a emotional non bdsm associated scene, then chances are, I can't top or bottom to them. Ideally I want a relationship. A close bonded,loving,romantic,candle lit dinners, relaxing massages, and of course not forgetting playtime. I am not the sort of person that will just settle. I am detirmined to get the best I can out of life, and those around me.

_____________________________

Our community maybe openminded as a whole, but it is still made up of individuals who bring in their own opinions,baggage and agendas!

Known as SwitchWitch in my local community,and on IRC Bondage.

I also go by the nic SwitchWitch on MDS.

(in reply to Prinsexx)

Post #: 30

RE: 9 out of 10 said they prefare being sick - 10/12/2007 4:14:24 PM

slaverosebeauty

Posts: 1941
Joined: 12/12/2004
From: Cali
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: JarlMarak
Would you spend time with someone who you would not talk to or spend time with outside play?

Short answer - No.

Detailed answer - I want someone who I have a well rounded relationship with. In and outside of play or M/s. If we cannot have a drink or dinner or just walk around holding hands in {gasp} public, then it't not a relationship I would engage in.

When someone wants that kind of 'descrete' relationship, its almost as if they are cheating on someone or not being honest with who they are and their true or deep desires. I would not want to be aroudn either of those people.

_____________________________

http://slaverosebeauty.livejournal.com/

"Friends live on in our hearts, regardless if they are here or not."

(in reply to JarlMarak)

Post #: 31

RE: 9 out of 10 said they prefare being sick - 10/12/2007 4:34:09 PM

CuriousLord

Posts: 3911
Joined: 4/3/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

Where did you get your stats from?

I second this.

I haven't noticed a particular trend being so strong towards tops versus Dom's. Then again, I can't say I'm exactly a patron of the other side of the site's Search option.

(in reply to RCdc)

Post #: 32

RE: 9 out of 10 said they prefare being sick - 10/12/2007 4:40:19 PM

SeeksOnlyOne

Posts: 2012
Joined: 5/14/2007
Status: offline

i read this whole thread and i still dont know who is sick.....im confused once again

_____________________________

it aint no good til it hurts just a little bit....jimmy somerville

in those moments of solitude, does everyone sometimes think they are insane? or is it just me?

(in reply to JarlMarak)

Post #: 33

RE: 9 out of 10 said they prefare being sick - 10/12/2007 6:12:23 PM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: CreativeDominant

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm....O.K..

Fellow dominants....how many of you want a non-sex relationship? Hmmm? Submissives...how many of you want a non-sex relationship? By non-sex, I mean sharing intimate thoughts and emotions with each other, working towards caring about each other's lives and interests, sharing D/s and maybe BDSM play BUT...you have no interest in sex with this person...don't want it...won't have it.

I am anxious to see how many hands get raised.

{deleted for space}

My hand is raised. Sex with submissives? Goes utterly against the chain of command for me.

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]

(in reply to CreativeDominant)

Post #: 34

RE: 9 out of 10 said they prefare being sick - 10/13/2007 4:49:41 AM

JarlMarak

Posts: 15
Joined: 6/17/2006
Status: offline

I take this opportunity to thank all who have left a reply to my post.

An if I might say you have all left me with more information to in lighten my.

Thank you all.

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

Post #: 35

RE: 9 out of 10 said they prefare being sick - 10/13/2007 6:23:20 AM

chiaThePet

Posts: 2694
Joined: 2/4/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: JarlMarak

I take this opportunity to thank all who have left a reply to my post.

An if I might say you have all left me with more information to in lighten my.

Thank you all.

Very gracious I must say, all things considered.

You're very welcome.

chia* (the pet)

_____________________________

Love is a many splendid sting.

You can stick me in the corner, but I'll probably just end up coloring on the walls.

(in reply to JarlMarak)

Post #: 36

RE: 9 out of 10 said they prefare being sick - 10/13/2007 6:35:31 AM

orfunboi

Posts: 1223
Joined: 10/22/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: JarlMarak

Why is it that it seems that 9 out of 10 Dom's here are only in to playing and not interested in any thing else.

Could be several reasons for this...maybe you haven't talked to the right Dom's.....maybe you haven't talked to enough Dom's.....maybe your just the type of person who likes to make up statistics on internet boards.....maybe your not looking at the right threads. Who knows?

As to your question "Would you spend time with someone who you would not talk to or spend time with outside play?" Well if i don't talk to them or spend time with them, how could i ever negotiate playing with them and if i don't like them why would i talk to them.

(in reply to JarlMarak)

Post #: 37

RE: 9 out of 10 said they prefare being sick - 10/13/2007 6:39:50 AM

dollylima

Posts: 48
Joined: 8/13/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SeeksOnlyOne

i read this whole thread and i still dont know who is sick.....im confused once again

I am the one who is sick. Terrible head cold. No relief in sight.
So are half the people I work with and at least three members of my family.
I hope that clears things up for you.

_____________________________

I want the scissors to be sharp
And the table perfectly level
When you cut me out of my life
And paste me in that book you always carry.
-Billy Collins

(in reply to SeeksOnlyOne)

Post #: 38

RE: 9 out of 10 said they prefare being sick - 10/13/2007 6:42:49 AM

GoddessMine

Posts: 250
Joined: 9/27/2007
Status: offline

Oh mai gah, Me too. I'm eating My nose drippings.

Love,
GM

_____________________________

Pleasure of the Text? Pleasure of the Goddess, more like it.

(in reply to dollylima)

Post #: 39

RE: 9 out of 10 said they prefare being sick - 10/13/2007 6:52:00 AM

MadRabbit

Posts: 3460
Joined: 8/9/2006
Status: offline

My studies have shown that 9 out of 10 Doms prefer to bust a nut on a submissive's face whether it was during play or a relationship.

The one who didnt was lieing to create some "Holier Than Thou Kinky Sex" image of himself.

_____________________________

Advice for New Dominants
The Unpolitically Correct Lifestyle Definitions

Obama is NOT the Messiah! He's just a VERY NAUGHTY BOY

(in reply to JarlMarak)

Post #: 40

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