9 out of 10 said they prefare being sick

9 out of 10 said they prefare being sick (Full Version)

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JarlMarak -> 9 out of 10 said they prefare being sick (10/12/2007 4:06:56 AM)
Why is it that it seems that 9 out of 10 Dom's here are only in to playing and not interested in any thing else. This seems to have the effect of making most others not wanting to contact them. So Question to the Boards is, Would you spend time with someone who you would not talk to or spend time with outside play? I am and most likely always will be one of those people who come here to meet and correspond with others Dom and sub. In some of my correspondence the subject has come up in different ways and at different times. I am Dom and have to say that some other Dom's are great but there are more who make my think of Big stick's with Big nails in them. I once got told "laugh and the world laughs with you, Fart and a Dom will see if they can do it louder." that is Funny but such a sad indictments on Dom's behavior. So to answer for myself my own question as you might guess it would be No I would not like to spend time with that kind of person.

Celeste43 -> RE: 9 out of 10 said they prefare being sick (10/12/2007 4:12:24 AM)
Just because they aren't looking for a relationship doesn't mean they don't make friends. Just because you are looking for a relationship doesn't mean everyone else is. And just because you prefer your relationships, d/s, and your s & m to be combined doesn't mean that others have to also. What's the purpose of this except to proclaim that because you're looking for one thing, and anybody who is looking for something else is beneath you?

RCdc -> RE: 9 out of 10 said they prefare being sick (10/12/2007 4:14:33 AM)
Where did you get your stats from? the.dark.

kyraofMists -> RE: 9 out of 10 said they prefare being sick (10/12/2007 4:15:50 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: JarlMarak Why is it that it seems that 9 out of 10 Dom's here are only in to playing and not interested in any thing else. This seems to have the effect of making most others not wanting to contact them. Because you have a skewed perspective and are not seeing the full aspect of what other dominants are or what they want is one possible answer... I would really love to see the analysis that came up with the statistic that 9 out of 10 dominants only want play. I personally, have not seen very many dominants on here (i.e. the forums) that are not interested in anything other than play. I don't spend much time on the profile side. The ones that have come on the forums like that are generally trolls and are usually one post wonders. Knight's Kyra

RCdc -> RE: 9 out of 10 said they prefare being sick (10/12/2007 4:19:39 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: kyraofMists The ones that have come on the forums like that are generally trolls and are usually one post wonders. Knight's Kyra ...and why do I gain the impression that the OP is no more different?[;)] It seems no more than a 'look at me I am looking for a stable relationship and all the others are bad-bad-doms.'Post. Meh - I am cynical this morning... makes note to beg Darcy to thrash the cynisim outta me later... Peace the.dark.

Celeste43 -> RE: 9 out of 10 said they prefare being sick (10/12/2007 5:19:42 AM)
And why is it that someone who is in an open relationship, interested in play partners only is by definition sick? A closed mind is a wonderful thing to lose.

WinsomeDefiance -> RE: 9 out of 10 said they prefare being sick (10/12/2007 6:50:41 AM)
I must be working off a different test subject because I've found that 9 out of 10 s'types fuss about not getting enough play! (disclaimer here - my stat's are complete BS - I've never met a sub who didn't want MORE play time, but I thought it only fair to offer that one potential oddball a fair representation in the poll) Edited to add a serious note: I know there are a lot of people out there, all wanting something. A small percentage are compatible with what I'm looking for. An even smaller percentage are compatible with ME. It isn't anyone's fault or any indication of 'sickness'. Not in my estimation, anyway.

babygurlinTX -> RE: 9 out of 10 said they prefare being sick (10/12/2007 6:57:59 AM)
While I do want both bdsm and stable Ds in a relationship, I know from past experience there is NEVER enough play time in a living together relationship. Just can't be, too much real life is in the way. A bdsm only or a weekend only relationship, even if the couple does include some Ds interaction has the benifit of being focused on the couple for "x" amount of time without kids, bills, garbage, work, etc. But, then there is that lull in between visits. I'd love a full time Ds relationship with as much bdsm in it as possible and then maybe someone just for the bdsm, but I think I'd only want sexual interaction between myself and my Dominant. babygurl

xoxi -> RE: 9 out of 10 said they prefare being sick (10/12/2007 6:58:43 AM)
A closed mind also keeps the trash out. Stand for nothing, fall for everything and all. It's good to know who one is and where one's boundaries lie. Not sure about the validity of the stats but based on the emails I've recieved they seem disturbingly accurate. And I have in my profile 'no casual play - relationships only' soooo I'm guessing it's not skewed towards my preference. Casual play doesn't interest me at all. Wouldn't do it. To answer the question in the OP. No interest whatsoever. As far as the 'closed mind' stuff goes, people have every right to do what they want. As long as they respect other people's right to view them however they want. Whether that's as prudish or slutty or freaky or closed minded. I for one wear 'closed minded' as a badge of honor - it means I've scouted the terrain, tried quite a bit, and decided where to lie my boundaries. YMMV.

RRafe -> RE: 9 out of 10 said they prefare being sick (10/12/2007 6:59:49 AM)
Fast reply. Why do relationship fanatic wannabes always whine about people who get to play? Jealous?[:D]

xoxi -> RE: 9 out of 10 said they prefare being sick (10/12/2007 7:01:11 AM)
Not even close love. The two times I tried casual play, with two 'well respected' and totally hot Doms in my area, I couldn't even get wet much less get off. Nothing wrong with the scene. Just the emotions weren't there to make it worthwhile.

RRafe -> RE: 9 out of 10 said they prefare being sick (10/12/2007 7:03:37 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: xoxi Not even close love. The two times I tried casual play, with two 'well respected' and totally hot Doms in my area, I couldn't even get wet much less get off. Nothing wrong with the scene. Just the emotions weren't there to make it worthwhile. I don't get off on one timers either. I do tend to have relationships with girls I play with. I'm just tired of the whining and puffing up some people do, about the ones who CAN.

xoxi -> RE: 9 out of 10 said they prefare being sick (10/12/2007 7:07:24 AM)
giggles Perhaps you are a bit....closed minded? [;)] LOL just kidding. But I feel the same way about recieving 9 'i want ur sex' emails for every 1 'you seem like an insightful person would you like to talk further' email....and then it turns out the latter was also just code for 'i want ur sex' as well [8D]

CreativeDominant -> RE: 9 out of 10 said they prefare being sick (10/12/2007 7:20:59 AM)
Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm....O.K.. Fellow dominants....how many of you want a non-sex relationship? Hmmm? Submissives...how many of you want a non-sex relationship? By non-sex, I mean sharing intimate thoughts and emotions with each other, working towards caring about each other's lives and interests, sharing D/s and maybe BDSM play BUT...you have no interest in sex with this person...don't want it...won't have it. I am anxious to see how many hands get raised. The point is that most of us, whether we want a relationship or not, are also sexual beings. Yes, some do want to only engage in casual D/s and/or BDSM relationships of a brief tenure and some want long-term, D/s BDSM, romantic relationships. I would be willing to bet...though I don't have the stats...that even for those seeking long-term relationships, one of the key things you will find at that person's core is the idea of "I want your sex".

xoxi -> RE: 9 out of 10 said they prefare being sick (10/12/2007 7:26:21 AM)
Yes but there is a difference between "I want your sex" and "I want you to be my girlfriend and then your sex will be mine."

chiaThePet -> RE: 9 out of 10 said they prefare being sick (10/12/2007 7:31:08 AM)
Well, we're spending time with you outside of play. Guess that takes care of that. chia* (the pet)

Kana -> RE: 9 out of 10 said they prefare being sick (10/12/2007 7:39:03 AM)
Sigh, just today I think I am gonna lay down the lance, chose not to tilt at any windmills and not give a rats ass what anyone else does and instead maybe focus on what I am doing. I mean truly, I could give a shit what 9 out of 10 doms do here. If anything, all the ___________ (fill in the blank) just make the guys who are real look that much better. So thanks trolls.

CreativeDominant -> RE: 9 out of 10 said they prefare being sick (10/12/2007 7:48:40 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: xoxi Yes but there is a difference between "I want your sex" and "I want you to be my girlfriend and then your sex will be mine." True...but one could argue then that the sex has now become a bargaining chip...a carrot at the end of the stick... rather than something normal to be explored like everything else in the relationship before making a decision to go further. In those types of situation, isn't it possible that the sex becomes a trophy to be obtained? And rather than it being a spontaneous or sometimes reckless thing that happens, it becomes conditional? After all, it is entirely possible that some guys, when faced with such a dilemma, decide to do what it takes to become the "boyfriend", get the sex, and then decide it's "not working" (because all they did indeed want was the sex and were willing to "play her game" to get it). I don't do much casual play anymore...as a matter of fact, it has been quite awhile. But in all honesty, I have no intention of waltzing into a situation where I MUST become the boyfriend in order to get the sex. I like to "kick the tires"...a statement used on here before...and no, I don't expect it to happen right away but I don't expect it to be conditional either. If it happens, it happens. If it does not, it does not.

RRafe -> RE: 9 out of 10 said they prefare being sick (10/12/2007 7:53:11 AM)
Exactly. It's still playing the old vanilla "pussy power" game if getting it is conditional on doing everything her way. In which case,who actually holds the upper hand?

xoxi -> RE: 9 out of 10 said they prefare being sick (10/12/2007 7:53:17 AM)
"Has now become"? Have you missed the past, oh, two thousand years? You are right there are quite a few scummy pieces of shit that will lie to a girl to get in her pants. I've had it happen to me. But if I like someone I want a commitment from them. Not just sex. And if they like me back they should want one from me. I'm not using sex as a bargaining chip to get them to commit but rather saying these are my terms, if I'm giving my body to you I want to be able to give my heart and mind as well. Because I'm one of those submitty types who wants sex to be a power exchange. Anything less than that just feels cheap.

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