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I told her about my tying up fantasy.. she said she doesn't like that..

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ORIGINAL: TakenPet

Well communication is the key, how can you truly be happy when you are not open and honest or willing to share something that is seemingly important to you?  Share a little more each time, and keep talking it over with her.  She may be open to more than you think.  Start slow and don't push too much at once at her.  Take your time and talk her through it. 

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ORIGINAL: topcat

Sure, you can ease someone into anything, but the amount of effort involved would be tremendous, and I'd say you'd likely be looking at two or three years before there's really any payoff to it. If you are willing to defer your rewards to that extent, this would be my approach.

Judging form what you've said, I take it that you have some level of trust with this subject, and that she expresses a willingness to participate in the process. That's actually a hugh first step out of the way.

For starters, don’t use any jargon for this stuff- when you label something, you give it a string of associations in the others head, many of which maybe negative.

You are going to have to stick to light bedroom bondage for at least 3-4 months, to build on that  foundation of trust. You are also going to have to do a lot of work to make sure that she has a good time with it. A good tactic is it have regular, vanilla sex two or three times to every incident of bondage, and when she's tied up, make damn sure that it's great sex for her. Go heavy on the aftercare, eat her till she cries, make her breakfast in bed, tie her up and shave her legs, draw her a hot tub afterwards or before.

Create a situation where she WANTS you to tie her up.

If something doesn't go well, never express anger. Calm disappointment, taking the blame on yourself, will go a long way to shaping her response to the next step. "gee, girl- I'm sorry. I thought that would have been really great for you. I liked it- thanks for letting me try it."

Make any pain play you introduce VERY light, and make it a side bar to whatever else you are doing. Spank her, a little, gently, and then go on with things, or make it a short, light flogging, and then gently and tenderly fuck her. Always let her know that you wanted more, but thank her for what you did.

Debrief her after every scene- not immediately, but after a few hours, or perhaps the next day. What worked for her? Why was something scary? What if you had done 'B' before 'A' instead of after?

If you play it right, you will create a mindset where she feels safe and treasured, and is aware that you want more of what, so far, has been a pleasant and reasonable interaction. She will express a willingness for more, and once the 'thin edge of the wedge' is in place, you'll be able to introduce more and more intense levels of work into the relationship.

It takes time. Time and Patience, Time and Patience and Work. Focus, commitment, dedication. An awareness of the others innermost thoughts, drives and desires. An exacting level of technical skill and the unerring ability to apply it.

It takes Mastery.