RE: mom thinks my Sir can't commit

RE: mom thinks my Sir can't commit (Full Version)

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Dnomyar -> RE: mom thinks my Sir can't commit (10/15/2007 4:48:45 AM)
I see the bible is back. God screwed Mary and she belonged to another man. As far as the op. Listen to your mother. She knows best.

laurell3 -> RE: mom thinks my Sir can't commit (10/15/2007 5:02:15 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: kitttty quote: To many, the only difference between the two, is that marriage is legally binding. I've known and met many who think just as highly of a collaring ceremony and treat it much like a wedding, there's just no legal joining viewed and acknowledged by the state. This is even more silly. Have a collaring ceremony think of it as highly as a wedding and treat it much like a wedding and then separately arrange for wills and insurances etc. to provide for both partners. Do this all just to avoid marriage- why? Why not just get married? Because it has some religious significance? Sort of but everyone from atheists to wiccans get married with whatever ceremony they choose and they get the same secular marriage license. Really if marrriage is so meaningless and just a peice fo paper, why are the gays and the polygamists fighting so hard for it? Why are the conservatives fighting so hard to keep it for temselves? quote: And I've also known people to last forever without getting married. Namely most of those couples being gay couples that COULDN'T get married. Yet they stayed together. Who is to say that those that do collarings and not weddings won't last forever if that is what they want? And who says that weddings last forever? If your entire psychological being exists in a vacuum, then it doesn't matter if you are collared or married. Otherwise, yes, marriage and collaring are the same except for that little tiny ENORMOUS legal binding socially recognized bit. On this thread we have two people that won't get married in part because they are getting alimony from the previous marriage. This is how powerful marriage is- it affects your life decisions even when its gone and over with. Try getting alimony if your collaring bit doesn't work out. I will never be so naive as to believe that my relationsip with any Master can't turn exploitative or bad some other way and if that happens I don't want to be screwed because of it. A collar is a peice of leather. A marriage is a legal contract so solidly regarded that is not only recognized in every state, but automatically recognized in every corner of the world. If your spouse emirgrates to Morocco or Argentina, you can go with them automatically because the whole world sees you as conjoined lives. Really, if a Master doesn't ever want to marry me, it means he doesn't totally want to own me. And I bet the reason a lot of kinky folk don't want to get married is because they don't strongly aspire for their relationship to last forever. Marriages usually don't last forever, but the people getting into them usually want it to last forever at least. Besides, I am 25 and I want to have babies so any guy that is against marriage on principle is sort of hindering my life since I don't like my fertile years squandered on guys that don't want to commit. I'm not about to have kids with some guy who says "Here's a collar. I promise I'll stick around". Yeah I can see how one would think that at 25, especially when you want to have children. I can also see at 25 one thinks THEIR view is the right way. Well, at 41, I've seen alot of life, and alot of relationships and I can tell you FOR ME there is really no reason TO get married other than to appease people that think like you and demand it. That's just not a good enough reason for me to do anything, ever. My partner and I are no less commited to each other because we chose not to legalize our relationship, I just have an intimate knowlege of how much divorce costs and how painful the whole process can be and chose to avoid it. l

Celeste43 -> RE: mom thinks my Sir can't commit (10/15/2007 5:09:22 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: kitttty The Bible is awesome. It says a man can't have sex with a woman unless he owns her as either a wife, a concubine or a slave. Likewise a woman can't have sex with a man unless she is owned by him. If you violate this rule then you get snuffed at the footsteps of the girl's father's house. Who needs Gor when you can read the Old Testament? Perhaps that's a New Testament thing you're quoting. The Old Testament prohibits women being enslaved for sexual purposes. It also prohibits women being married against their will. But that's just us Jews who prohibit rape during war, you Christians seem to operate in a very different manner.

CelticPrince -> RE: mom thinks my Sir can't commit (10/15/2007 6:31:24 AM)
pleasure, What is mom doing in the equation anyway? CP

thornhappy -> RE: mom thinks my Sir can't commit (10/15/2007 6:29:43 PM)
Quick reply to those who wonder why folks don't get married - I'm 48, no kids, and certainly no plan for any. My dom also is childless. I'm all for living in sin because I don't want my Social Security benefits based on my dom's (much lower) income. In emergencies (we've both had a run or two to the ER or walk-in clinic), we say we're engaged - so we can accompany each other in the treatment area. thornhapppy

Lumus -> RE: mom thinks my Sir can't commit (10/15/2007 6:32:11 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: pleasureforck I know I shouldn't care what she thinks but she's my mom and never shuts up. lol... Egad. I think my mum knows your mum.

chellekitty -> RE: mom thinks my Sir can't commit (10/15/2007 6:43:46 PM)
so to throw a fork in all your infalible equations (tongue in cheek...i am just teasing)....i am 24 years old, i want kids, i am bisexual and polyamorus....i also want to get married...eventually...and i can do all of those things before i mentioned marriage, without getting married...i can also be collared and owned (no, they are not the same)...marriage, for me, is a religious union before God and doesn't have a damned thing to do with the government....now don't get me wrong...if i find a man (because thats all i can legally marry at this time, don't get me started on "seperation of church and state"...) that i want to marry, i will accept the government assigned benifits...but my primary purpose for getting married will not be for those benifits...or for having kids...my reproductive organs work just fine without a marriage license...if you don't believe me, go down to the welfare office or heck walmart... oh and on the OT....if your relationship is working fine for you, tell your mom to mind her own business....i suspect that it bothers you so much because it hits a nerve of truth for you....are you lying to yourself and saying that he is committed and in the back of your mind really not believe it? i could be wrong...has happened on ocassion...but you need to do some serious thinking here.... good luck... chelle

kitttty -> RE: mom thinks my Sir can't commit (10/15/2007 10:09:23 PM)
quote: Perhaps that's a New Testament thing you're quoting. The Old Testament prohibits women being enslaved for sexual purposes. It also prohibits women being married against their will. But that's just us Jews who prohibit rape during war, you Christians seem to operate in a very different manner. 1) I am Christian since when? There's a strange assumption there. 2) So, I've been using the bible as masturbation fodder for more than a decade now and I can tell you the good stuff is all the OT. Now, much of the references to enslaving women for sex are somewhat glossed over by modern day religious leaders, but how did you miss the story of Hagar? This is my favorite part of the OT, http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Judges%2019&version=9; In this story in judges, this dude captures this girl and rapes her. She runs back to her father (whores against him, it is called) and he comes and gets her and the dad says 'taker her', but before they leave the usual biblical horny mob (like the one in Soddom and Gomorrah) come up and want to screw someone. The dude ends up offering the chick and they rape her to death. He then chops her up into 12 peices to explain to the tribes of Israel that it's wrong to offer some girl in your household when a horny mob wants someone to rape. Note that the first time this happens is in Genesis and it takes until Judges for this custom to be corrected. Otherwise, everything about the tone in this passage suggests that a woman refusing to be enslaved for sex is commiting the sin- the Levite is the good guy in this story. Go figure. Read further to Judges 21 for more fun stuff. A slightly better known story is of the attack on Midian, which not only permits rape during war- it demands rape during war and claims that this is the direct will of God. (Numbers 31). I haven't found any other religious text to be quite the cunt candy that the old testament is. Well, Aztec beliefs are up there. But Iv'e tried, really. The OT takes the cake. quote: Well, at 41, I've seen alot of life, and alot of relationships and I can tell you FOR ME there is really no reason TO get married other than to appease people that think like you and demand it. That's just not a good enough reason for me to do anything, ever. My partner and I are no less commited to each other because we chose not to legalize our relationship, I just have an intimate knowlege of how much divorce costs and how painful the whole process can be and chose to avoid it. I'm demanding what exactly of you? And you say it yourself. You fear divorce and choose to avoid it by never getting married- in a sense it is a fear of commitment (which is not bad). I'm not sure what that has to do with kink.

laurell3 -> RE: mom thinks my Sir can't commit (10/16/2007 11:54:35 AM)
quote: Well, at 41, I've seen alot of life, and alot of relationships and I can tell you FOR ME there is really no reason TO get married other than to appease people that think like you and demand it. That's just not a good enough reason for me to do anything, ever. My partner and I are no less commited to each other because we chose not to legalize our relationship, I just have an intimate knowlege of how much divorce costs and how painful the whole process can be and chose to avoid it. I'm demanding what exactly of you? And you say it yourself. You fear divorce and choose to avoid it by never getting married- in a sense it is a fear of commitment (which is not bad). I'm not sure what that has to do with kink. I have zero fear of commitment. I just have very little faith in the sanctity or ideal of marriage. Am I jaded? probably. Do I still very much commit to who I am with? Yes. I'm not sure what many of the posts on this forum have to do with kink, but it's communication about life and our views and that's what the forum is about as well. l

KnightofMists -> RE: mom thinks my Sir can't commit (10/16/2007 3:20:35 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: pleasureforck .... she's my mom and never shuts up. lol...I'm not asking for advice, just venting. [sm=tongue.gif] Get her a gag.. .and you put in ear plugs

Dnomyar -> RE: mom thinks my Sir can't commit (10/18/2007 11:38:51 AM)
Throw in a butt plug for good measure. That way she ca'nt talk out of her ass.

meticulousgirl -> RE: mom thinks my Sir can't commit (10/18/2007 12:52:10 PM)
in many ways and i'm not going to say anything else out of respect but "our mothers need to learn how to mind their own business" mine tends to behaive the same way and it's like no matter what you do, no matter how nice the guy is (it could be any guy) he's not only not good enough but, he cant committ fast enough either. My mom hated my ex until we split up now she wants us back together. as far as Master goes if she has negative opinions she doesn't state them, there's no reason for her to be like that if she does because he is great to my whole immediate family but at times even though i'm an adult and have made my own decisions for years i kind of feel obligated to choose sides sometimes (my Owners or hers) and the fact that she puts me in that position irritiates the hell out of me. So yeah i completely understand where you are coming from. ~meticulous~

apiercedkitty -> RE: mom thinks my Sir can't commit (10/18/2007 7:41:04 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: kitttty You fear divorce and choose to avoid it by never getting married- in a sense it is a fear of commitment (which is not bad). I'm not sure what that has to do with kink. Not wanting to be married because someone wants to avoid divorce has nothing whatsoever to do with fear of commitment - there can most certainly be commitment without marriage.

OsideGirl -> RE: mom thinks my Sir can't commit (10/18/2007 7:47:13 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: apiercedkitty quote: ORIGINAL: kitttty You fear divorce and choose to avoid it by never getting married- in a sense it is a fear of commitment (which is not bad). I'm not sure what that has to do with kink. Not wanting to be married because someone wants to avoid divorce has nothing whatsoever to do with fear of commitment - there can most certainly be commitment without marriage. If the reason you don't want to get married is because of the possibility of divorce, then it is fear of failure.

slave4urneeds -> RE: mom thinks my Sir can't commit (10/28/2007 11:19:13 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: OsideGirl quote: ORIGINAL: pleasureforck . It's frustrating not being able to tell her I'm collared and that we feel it is a commitment just like marriage. Your collar means nothing to a court of law and in that case I do think that legalities count. I've seen many people end up losing just about everything because there was nothing legal in place. So, unless you live in a common law marriage state, you're just a girlfriend. A very good friend of mine lost just about everything when her Dominant/fiance died suddenly of a heart attack. His family came into the house that they lived in and cleaned it out. Even taking items that were hers or that they had bought together. So, in some manner your mother may be correct. Unless he's taking care of the legalities to protect both of you in the case that something happens, then ....yes, he's unable to commit. GO GIRL!! i agree 100%. Besides stop and think about how many so called doms out there offer collars so freely. Do you think they would offer a wedding ring so freely? Not likely. If they wanted to get married they would. i know many in the lifestyle that after they have entered an M/s relationship they have gotten married. The shoe is always on the other foot when it comes to marriage and the dominant. They want you to commit to them and fulfill your needs, but how many really stop to fulfill the needs of their slave or are willing to fully commit to the relationship??

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