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question - 10/13/2007 4:34:00 PM   
Rushemery


Posts: 310
Joined: 9/10/2007
Status: offline 		  Is it a red flag for someone to tell you they love you in after 4 or 5  IM's and emails and maybe a phone call or more. And do most women fall in love that quickly? I ask because  I have been on many sites for a couple years and this has happened quite a few times and they really get angry and say I have issues, when I am honest and tell them that I have feelings for them but I wont tell them I love them until I look them in the eyes and then Ill know, I have met a few but there wasn't anything there or they lied about their appearance, many people say to wait 6 months but I don't follow that rule if they don't wish to. 
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RE: question - 10/13/2007 4:42:21 PM   
came4U


Posts: 3572
Joined: 1/23/2007
From: London, Ontario
Status: offline
quote:

Is it a red flag for someone to tell you they love you in after 4 or 5  IM's and emails and maybe a phone call or more.


IMO they are either very lonely n desperate or very creepy.

I'd say it is a red flag.


(in reply to Rushemery)
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RE: question - 10/13/2007 4:43:23 PM   
laurell3


Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline 		WHAT? They've never met you but they love you?  Do you need to ask this question?  Run, now, fast.
l

(in reply to came4U)
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RE: question - 10/13/2007 4:43:41 PM   
velvetears


Posts: 2933
Joined: 6/19/2006
Status: offline 		It sounds to me like they have ulterior motives for telling you they love you.  If you truly love someone you don't get anry if they don't say it back, hurt a little maybe.  Love entails so much more then a few IM's or emails and i am with you - unless i actually meet that person i would hold back such a strong emotion from developing.  Learned the hard way a longggggggg time ago when i had a ltr for about a year and we met - it was a disaster and i left feeling empty and bewildered.  i had very strong feelings for this dom and invested to much into something i consider wasn't real in the end. 

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Religion is for people who are scared of hell, Spirituality is for people who have been there

(in reply to Rushemery)
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RE: question - 10/13/2007 4:44:26 PM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Rushemery

Is it a red flag for someone to tell you they love you in after 4 or 5  IM's and emails and maybe a phone call or more. And do most women fall in love that quickly? I ask because  I have been on many sites for a couple years and this has happened quite a few times and they really get angry and say I have issues, when I am honest and tell them that I have feelings for them but I wont tell them I love them until I look them in the eyes and then Ill know, I have met a few but there wasn't anything there or they lied about their appearance, many people say to wait 6 months but I don't follow that rule if they don't wish to. 

I fell head over heels in love with my husband the moment I saw him; of course, this was in person. Over the internet; I would be a bit leery of anyone saying 'i love you' unless you have met in person also. Just me though.

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If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.


(in reply to Rushemery)
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RE: question - 10/13/2007 5:06:53 PM   
Rushemery


Posts: 310
Joined: 9/10/2007
Status: offline 		Thanks, thats how I feel as well, I normally say its not going to work out and try and end it nicely I do believe in love at first sight or at least lust but not online, it started happening on one night stands as well so I stopped them as well and just went back to dating ex girlfriends thanks again --Russ

(in reply to IrishMist)
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RE: question - 10/13/2007 5:13:52 PM   
Littlepita


Posts: 1430
Joined: 10/6/2005
Status: offline 		I fell madly in love with my dom over the Internet. No, I didn't go tell him in 4 or 5 IM's and emails. However, I did have some really strong interest in him and wanted to know a whole lot more by that time.

Funny story is that he wasn't going to tell me that he loved me until we were able to meet face to face, but after a couple months of every day communicating and him saying everything but those three little words he finally did type them one night in IM. I was a happy and relieved girl that he finally said it!

I would be really leery of someone blurting out their thoughts/feelings about love so early in the relationship. I especially would walk away if they didn't understand your need to say, "I love you" in your own time and way.

_____________________________

“I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naive or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman.” – Anais Nin

(in reply to Rushemery)
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RE: question - 10/13/2007 5:37:19 PM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Littlepita

I fell madly in love with my dom over the Internet. No, I didn't go tell him in 4 or 5 IM's and emails. However, I did have some really strong interest in him and wanted to know a whole lot more by that time.

Funny story is that he wasn't going to tell me that he loved me until we were able to meet face to face, but after a couple months of every day communicating and him saying everything but those three little words he finally did type them one night in IM. I was a happy and relieved girl that he finally said it!

I would be really leery of someone blurting out their thoughts/feelings about love so early in the relationship. I especially would walk away if they didn't understand your need to say, "I love you" in your own time and way.

Well Pita, even I can say that your relationship was special... many of us remember it unfolding

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If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.


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RE: question - 10/13/2007 7:14:01 PM   
adoracat


Posts: 1779
Joined: 2/16/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Rushemery

Thanks, thats how I feel as well, I normally say its not going to work out and try and end it nicely I do believe in love at first sight or at least lust but not online, it started happening on one night stands as well so I stopped them as well and just went back to dating ex girlfriends thanks again --Russ


*smiles softly*

i met and married my husband in 15 days.  that was almost 15 and a half years ago. 

yes, it can strike that fast.  Daddy told me he loved me within about 3 weeks...and we hadnt even spoken on the phone then.  (we have been in a slightly long distance relationship for just over 6 months now....and yes we see each other in person as often as we can)

so yes, it can happen.

kitten

(in reply to Rushemery)
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RE: question - 10/13/2007 7:33:52 PM   
Littlepita


Posts: 1430
Joined: 10/6/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: IrishMist

Well Pita, even I can say that your relationship was special... many of us remember it unfolding


Thank you!

_____________________________

“I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naive or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman.” – Anais Nin

(in reply to IrishMist)
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RE: question - 10/13/2007 7:47:53 PM   
slaveluci


Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: laurell3

WHAT? They've never met you but they love you?  Do you need to ask this question?  Run, now, fast.


Well, that's certainly one opinion.  Master and I loved each other before we ever physically met.  We chatted online and by phone daily for weeks before we ever had the pleasure of meeting and spending time together.  I loved Him way before I ever was in His presence and He loved me as well.  I agree that many times loving someone so quickly COULD be a creepy sign that someone is desperate or weird.  But it certainly doesn't HAVE to indicate any such thing.  Don't run if you don't want to.  It is possible to love someone you haven't sat in the same room with yet.  Of course I could be wrong.  But I'm not................luci

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(in reply to laurell3)
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RE: question - 10/13/2007 8:33:50 PM   
TemptingNviceSub


Posts: 3054
Joined: 10/1/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Rushemery

Is it a red flag for someone to tell you they love you in after 4 or 5  IM's and emails and maybe a phone call or more. And do most women fall in love that quickly? I ask because  I have been on many sites for a couple years and this has happened quite a few times and they really get angry and say I have issues, when I am honest and tell them that I have feelings for them but I wont tell them I love them until I look them in the eyes and then Ill know, I have met a few but there wasn't anything there or they lied about their appearance, many people say to wait 6 months but I don't follow that rule if they don't wish to. 
I think it depends on what has been developing within those IM's and phone conversations..personally however..and being older, I would view such a person with a bit of a jaundiced eye..but the more youthful person may have a more immediate passion than one who is older..I try to think back to when I was in those 20-30's time frame and I can see it happening..but now...I prefer to watch it bloom a little slower to savor the discoveries that come with each interaction, and eventually matching those discoveries to the face across from my own...Tempting

_____________________________

I have greatly enjoyed the second blooming...suddenly you find at the age of 50, that a whole new life has opened before you.........Agatha Christie.

You must make tracks into the unknown~~Thoreau

(in reply to Rushemery)
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RE: question - 10/13/2007 8:38:19 PM   
slaverosebeauty


Posts: 1941
Joined: 12/12/2004
From: Cali
Status: offline 		Their is a difference between love and lust; what you call 'love' may actually be 'lust.'  I have fallen in love only a few times in my life, both with men I had met online; I was never in love with my exhusband and we met in person. 
 
Women can fall in love with an 'image' or a 'persona;'  I know bottom-types who would and do swear that they are in love with their tops and yet, they have never met and may never meet, or they have only known them for a short amount of time.  Is it possible? Yes, anything is possible with matters of love; yet, it comes down to intent and truth.  

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http://slaverosebeauty.livejournal.com/

"Friends live on in our hearts, regardless if they are here or not."

(in reply to TemptingNviceSub)
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RE: question - 10/13/2007 9:11:25 PM   
chiaThePet


Posts: 2694
Joined: 2/4/2007
Status: offline 		Well "Rush", ever think about changing the name?

Just a thought.

chia* (the pet)

p.s. Will you marry me?

_____________________________

Love is a many splendid sting.

You can stick me in the corner, but I'll probably just end up coloring on the walls.

(in reply to Rushemery)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: question - 10/13/2007 9:46:10 PM   
Rushemery


Posts: 310
Joined: 9/10/2007
Status: offline 		why would I change my name, its been mine sense I was a teen and and everyone in this area knows it and can find me,  and your other question maybe

(in reply to chiaThePet)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: question - 10/13/2007 10:04:01 PM   
chiaThePet


Posts: 2694
Joined: 2/4/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Rushemery

why would I change my name, its been mine sense I was a teen and and everyone in this area knows it and can find me,  and your other question maybe


It loses all the fun if I have to explain it.

A maybe on the first post huh, damn, I think I love you!

chia* (the pet)

_____________________________

Love is a many splendid sting.

You can stick me in the corner, but I'll probably just end up coloring on the walls.

(in reply to Rushemery)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: question - 10/14/2007 1:50:00 PM   
littleone35


Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline 		Master told me he loved me first but that was in our first meeting.  He never told me that over the phone though not until we were already together.   I could  not tell him that at the first meeting but i did soon after  i knew i like him a lot but i was unsure of my feelings now 20 months later i know for sure i am crazy(am in love) about him as he STILL is about me.

Matt's littleone

(in reply to chiaThePet)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: question - 10/14/2007 1:54:45 PM   
RosesHaveThorns


Posts: 312
Joined: 10/14/2007
Status: offline 		Unless...They are using a very, erm, casual sense of the word, (Using it like describing how much they love shopping, or ice cream or something) something is not right here.

I am not going to say that people can't fall in love over the internet, my sister met one of her fiancees that way, but...4-5 IMs? No.

(in reply to littleone35)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: question - 10/14/2007 2:15:48 PM   
eyesopened


Posts: 2798
Joined: 6/12/2006
From: Tampa, FL
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Rushemery

Is it a red flag for someone to tell you they love you in after 4 or 5  IM's and emails and maybe a phone call or more. And do most women fall in love that quickly? I ask because  I have been on many sites for a couple years and this has happened quite a few times and they really get angry and say I have issues, when I am honest and tell them that I have feelings for them but I wont tell them I love them until I look them in the eyes and then Ill know, I have met a few but there wasn't anything there or they lied about their appearance, many people say to wait 6 months but I don't follow that rule if they don't wish to. 


i can't imagine being sure about being in love without the use of all 5 senses.  i felt something was absolutely right about my Master the very first time He emailed me, just a hunch.  We talked on the phone, the hunch got stronger.  We met and spent a weekend together.  i pretty much knew how He felt yet we didn't say the words.  After another month of IM and phone conversations, some lasting 2 or more hours, we knew but still didn't say the words until we were face to face again.  Then and only then did we declare what we had felt from the beginning.  If i were you i'd be VERY skeptical, not so much of someone declaring love in a couple of IMs but that they lash out as soon as you honestly tell them the truth about your feelings.  THAT is the red flag, in my opinion.

_____________________________

Proudly owned by InkedMaster. He is the one i obey, serve, honor and love.

No one is honored for what they've received. Honor is the reward for what has been given.

(in reply to Rushemery)
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RE: question - 10/14/2007 3:09:22 PM   
imtempting


Posts: 1280
Joined: 2/11/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: slaverosebeauty

Their is a difference between love and lust; what you call 'love' may actually be 'lust.'
;

Yes I agree. Lust is easy to get, love is not. I've lusted after many a girl but loved yet a few.

(in reply to slaverosebeauty)
Profile   Post #: 20
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