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ORIGINAL: Ashkitty

So many wonderful replies, too many good quotes to keep at heart.
Thank you, everyone.

Meh. Mreh. mew.
To shed a little light... yes.. for the past few months I've been in a relationship with a natural dom.

Natural as in leading personality, but otherwise... no.. Dom-ness. And no interest in changing that.. "been there, done that, not my thing." which is perfectly respectable.

For a while it was fine... he bosses me around a bit, naturally, and won't let me get away with things -- to a point. (If I try really hard, I can always get things my way.) But it seems to be happening less... or am I just less affected?
It's still... fine... but I keep transgressing, in my mind.

Thinking of what it used to be like.. with my Doms.. the highs and lows of exilleration and misery so much more... intense? Intense! Intensity! Augh!

Yet, I am so terribly torn in all my thinking. By all accounts, I'm so happy, comfortable, and gracious in this relationship...
Except for lack.

...and the silly wish that I hadn't fucked things up then in the first place. But that is neither here nor there.

This is ridiculously hard to talk about.