RE: What were you missing in life? (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive



Message

Dilseachd -> RE: What were you missing in life? (10/14/2007 9:45:41 AM)

I was tortured to death by a sexy insurgent in my last life and that trauma carried over into my Kharma in this one.

*sighs*...why must it always be that we were abused or have some sort of mental illness to want to serve or to be a masochist.

I was born this way...yea I said it.   

Admittedly you are new to this..in time perhaps you will understand better.

Regards,
Dils



velvetears -> RE: What were you missing in life? (10/14/2007 9:55:51 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

I'm like I am because I didn't get a pony.



i was raised a city kid and i wanted a pony too lol.... my parents pointed out we'd have to tether him to a parking meter and he'd have no grass to eat - what bubble bursters!  Probably why i am the way i am [8D]



mistoferin -> RE: What were you missing in life? (10/14/2007 10:01:45 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: velvetears

quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

I'm like I am because I didn't get a pony.



i was raised a city kid and i wanted a pony too lol.... my parents pointed out we'd have to tether him to a parking meter and he'd have no grass to eat - what bubble bursters!  Probably why i am the way i am [8D]

 

Yup, same here. New York City isn't really the best place to keep a pony. I even had an uncle that lived in the Catskills who had a couple of ponies. I could ride them every weekend and all summer long....but it just wasn't the same as having MY OWN pony.



gentlestarZR -> RE: What were you missing in life? (10/14/2007 10:57:08 AM)

why are the first thoughts when people see bdsm were those slaves were abused as kids or molested or something ..
i think thats stupid .. sure it happens but honestly for me .. i what put me down this path along tiem ago was vanilla was so boring i seen porn and it jsut didnt do anything for me .. day after day of that i'd go crazy i need variety! but my need does go down to the core of my slavery... giving my Master all of me is special and wonderful .. its not because i was abused as a kid or something .. i found a man that matches my needs and wants and there for i can dive deeper into all those sick great fantasys that were always filling my thoughts .. i started the lifestayle young i was lateteens when i found out just what my thoughts were and that i wasnt alone.. i feel safe and loved when i give all that i am .. it has nothign to do with bad experiences as a child .. i am me thats all i can say ..

its hard to explain that i just craved these things for along time .. that my mind was just over active but now i feel at peace and my Masters arms are just a home feeling for me ..
i guess i just dont like when submission is looked down on when people think it came /comes from something bad in our lives .. not with all, i am proud of what i am .. and i was made to be a slave. 



came4U -> RE: What were you missing in life? (10/14/2007 11:14:51 AM)

My parents were so over-protective that I had an EZ Bake Oven and wasn't allowed to have the lightbulb.  eeeesh.

How cruel! [:(]

Mayhaps the odds on an average bdsm website of the formerly abused seems higher on average to you , OP, but don't drag all of us into that spectrum. Perhaps it is that unlike other forums or chat circles it isn't likely an 'emotionally' varied setting such as this.  Look at any vanilla chat room with flirting or blatant verbose language like "I like to f*k , suck you, run in the muk.. bla bla" and who knows what underlying issues they have.  Talk to any vanilla off the street and give them an outlet to discuss openly to you and you may find out horrid issues from his/her past.

Don't lump all submissive into one tiny tightened pile categorized as 'yep, must be something wrong with her' ideals. Cuz, I was raised sane as I could be..the fact that I choose to be a lil 'insane' as an adult is my doing.  I much prefer it and I now buy my own lightbulbs. [:)]




pleasureforck -> RE: What were you missing in life? (10/14/2007 11:20:07 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

quote:

ORIGINAL: velvetears

quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

I'm like I am because I didn't get a pony.



i was raised a city kid and i wanted a pony too lol.... my parents pointed out we'd have to tether him to a parking meter and he'd have no grass to eat - what bubble bursters!  Probably why i am the way i am [8D]

 

Yup, same here. New York City isn't really the best place to keep a pony. I even had an uncle that lived in the Catskills who had a couple of ponies. I could ride them every weekend and all summer long....but it just wasn't the same as having MY OWN pony.


I always wanted a pony too. Seems to me this is a pattern. Maybe we've solved the mystery of submissives everywhere. [sm=biggrin.gif]



RosesHaveThorns -> RE: What were you missing in life? (10/14/2007 12:15:46 PM)

I wanted a baby ocelot...But nooooo. My parents said that it was illegal! But I know they were lying...Or that the zoos where hogging them all.

But in all seriousness, a better question to ask is why the original poster feels like that he needs to demonize other people's fantasies in order to validate his own. That he must take the most extreme and in some cases, unstable examples to portray every dom and master out there.

Perhaps the OP is insecure due to family issues. Perhaps he is missing acceptance. Perhaps it is a religious thing. (Not bashing everyone who is religious, some of my good friends are highly religious, but not all religious people regard people into BDSM well or respectfully)

Look deep into your psyche, and tell us the real answer. Do you love hatred and intolerance?

*realizes that she is a new poster and goes back to hiding under a rock*



Hergirl0824 -> RE: What were you missing in life? (10/14/2007 12:18:51 PM)

Well unlike most of the replies here i WAS missing something in my life...no it wasn't a pony, i was raised a farm girl..i had a pony...but no i wasn't abused as a child, my childhood was quite happy ( unlike my 14 year marriage)..the thing i have been missing all my life that has lead me down the path to this lifestyle is......submission. i have always felt that something was missing in my life and had a void and i have found it in the ability to surrender to someone else...i know the OP didn't want to hear this BUT this is the way i am...the way i was born...the real me



earthycouple -> RE: What were you missing in life? (10/14/2007 12:20:46 PM)

LA said it best.

Now, does anyone find it strange that the OP said he wouldn't respond to domish types, and warned domish types not to post yet he's not responded to subs either?  I wonder what he missed out on in life that he feels the need to be so controlling and demanding and expecting but doesn't follow through?



Hergirl0824 -> RE: What were you missing in life? (10/14/2007 12:30:37 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: earthycouple



Now, does anyone find it strange that the OP said he wouldn't respond to domish types, and warned domish types not to post yet he's not responded to subs either?  I wonder what he missed out on in life that he feels the need to be so controlling and demanding and expecting but doesn't follow through?


Good question lol



FullCircle -> RE: What were you missing in life? (10/14/2007 12:40:19 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Woodhunter
I am a Dom that's new to BDSM and have a fetish for light bondage and find there are some very sadistic Master's/Dom's out there that you sub's/slave's seem to gravitate to and I don't know why. Fisting, mutilation, beaten unconscious, ritual murder, choking, male sub's forced into unprotected sex with other men for no other reason than their Master/Mistress said so. Why??? When you acquire AID's and your Master/Mistress/Dom/Domme kick's you out the door because he/she has used you all up, then what are you going to do?

Question or advertisement? Job done I suppose. No emails yesterday?

quote:

ORIGINAL: Neala
Ritual murder? I think I missed that in Kink 101.


That one passed me by also.



RosesHaveThorns -> RE: What were you missing in life? (10/14/2007 12:48:28 PM)

Perhaps I am being too harsh, but he could just be a troll.

Or, too many people were disagreeing with him, and he decided not to bother. But he did rather imply that many masters don't care for the well-being of their partners, and that subs are psychologially unstable people. So maybe there is a reason that he wasn't given much positive response if he calls many people here crazy.

However...I will say that I somewhat agree with him. I do think that people's pasts do influence kinks. However, it does not need to be tramuatic. I heard a story once of a woman liking wearing leather, for she was praised as a child for wearing shiny leather boots. Not abuse in the slightest.

Now, there isn't really a good way to prove this that I know of, as you can't really make an experiment or experiment on kids. And I do realize that many people think people are born that way, which could also be true, given the results of the studies done on twins seperated at birth that showed similar personality traits. So, both could also be true. I don't think there is a way to tell, nor do I think it's that important in every case, or that there is one cause for EVERY kink out there.

What matters, in my opinion, is focusing on respect and enjoyment of others and yourself.

And truthful representation of others, while we are at it.



FullCircle -> RE: What were you missing in life? (10/14/2007 12:55:57 PM)

This is a question I’ve always been interested in myself but sometimes over analysing something to the point of understanding it takes away the magic of not knowing. Women that wear boots that finish just below the knee turn me on and to a certain extent the attractiveness of the woman wearing them is of no consequence. I know I find it a turn on because they are usually confident types and I love confidence but I really don’t need to understand it anymore than that. Also part of me would rather not know if this fetish has something to do with my childhood. How can you enjoy something mystical when you fully understand why you enjoy it?



Decimus -> RE: What were you missing in life? (10/14/2007 1:32:52 PM)

*sigh* I did always want a Oscar Meyer Weenie whistle! And when I didn't get it I just didnt' believe in Santa any more.........


Wait this was about my completely non existant torment and mentally abused affliction as a child that caused me to be a sub.......

*Humor aside I agree with LA!*



littleone35 -> RE: What were you missing in life? (10/14/2007 1:38:39 PM)

Well i WAS born this way always have been.  Oh and by the way my Master doese not beat, humilate me or abuse me he is sensual not sadistic.

I grew up in a happy well adjusted 2 parent family.  With friends ans siblings so nothing there i think you are barking up the wrong tree not all subs/slaves were abused as children.

Matt's littleone




RosesHaveThorns -> RE: What were you missing in life? (10/14/2007 1:45:47 PM)

On the flip side, would you feel like it is more a part of you if you know exactly why you act in such a way? That you know the defining moment in which an important part of your being came into existence? Knowing what it is exactly that you want to recreate, and how?

Like many things, it could be that there is no right answer, but either works for different people.

I think that the answer to this question relies heavyily if you believe that doms/subs are born, or made.



FullCircle -> RE: What were you missing in life? (10/14/2007 2:00:09 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: RosesHaveThorns
On the flip side, would you feel like it is more a part of you if you know exactly why you act in such a way? That you know the defining moment in which an important part of your being came into existence? Knowing what it is exactly that you want to recreate, and how?

Like many things, it could be that there is no right answer, but either works for different people.

I think that the answer to this question relies heavyily if you believe that doms/subs are born, or made.


I think if you knew the defining moment you’d grow to understand you couldn’t recreate such a precious moment from your history and therefore any attempt to do so would fall short in some way. At the moment I don’t understand therefore no experience I have will fall short of that I am trying to subconsciously recreate.

When we hear a piece of music such as ‘Adagio For Strings’ is it the music that makes us feel sad or the association with the scene in the film ‘Platoon’ where the people in the helicopter who had just escaped looked down upon the people they had to leave behind getting cut down with bullets? That’s the kind of thing you are asking me.



downkitty -> RE: What were you missing in life? (10/14/2007 2:04:39 PM)

I was not chained enough, caged enough, shackled enough, or otherwise treated like property enough.  Hence, as an adult, I seek to compensate for that clear deficiency in my childhood by getting as much of it as I can in my adulthood.

Respectfully,

Amy




beeble -> RE: What were you missing in life? (10/14/2007 3:40:20 PM)

What was I missing in life?  Hmmmm...  Yes, that's it.  I was missing a troll thread about how the only reason for getting into BDSM is that you were abused as a child.  Now I've got one so my life is complete.



lilrissa -> RE: What were you missing in life? (10/14/2007 4:41:35 PM)

what makes you think that we had to have a bad childhood?? My childhood was fabulous! I was and am very loved, spoiled even. I was born this way. I have always had a deep need to please. I have always strived to be respectable and honest as well as trustworthy and obediant growing up.  I enjoy seeing to the needs of others and being the one that is pleasing to them.
That need carried over into my adult life. I do not care to be beaten or have someone pretend to kill me, used as someone's doormat etc.  The Masters i have been collared to have adored me and treated me as something precious (which i am) and as any good real Master would. 
There is nothing in my past of neglect or abuse that makes me who i am.  I was born with a submissive soul and slave heart.



Page: <<   < prev  1 [2] 3 4 5   next >   >>

Valid CSS!




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy
4.296875E-02