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hey everyone ;) - 10/14/2007 2:30:04 PM

sammyBoy1980

Posts: 17
Joined: 6/13/2006
Status: offline

hey im sammy, just a have a quick question? how do i get anyone to talk to me on here? i sent a few mails to some dominas/Mistresses..but havent gotten one singel reply lol..i must suck big time.

or is everyone professional?

/sammy

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Post #: 1

RE: hey everyone ;) - 10/14/2007 2:39:10 PM

littlesarbonn

Posts: 1710
Joined: 12/3/2005
From: Stockton, California
Status: offline

The women on this site, like many others, get tons and tons of email from guys, so they may rarely respond to anyone unless they are already convinced it's something they desire to do.

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RE: hey everyone ;) - 10/14/2007 2:42:54 PM

sammyBoy1980

Posts: 17
Joined: 6/13/2006
Status: offline

yeah that was what i was thinking too...just thought it weird that i got no response at all..altho maybe im just boring compared to all the other subs/slaves..
lol anyways ill stop complaining

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Post #: 3

RE: hey everyone ;) - 10/14/2007 3:02:47 PM

SunNMoon

Posts: 1058
Joined: 3/18/2007
Status: offline

Hi,
Post on the boards more often then you might get a response. And keep trying.

Kat
PS
I liked your profile.

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"We agreed to S&M only, sex and mockery." - Gray’s Anatomy.

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Post #: 4

RE: hey everyone ;) - 10/14/2007 3:11:13 PM

sammyBoy1980

Posts: 17
Joined: 6/13/2006
Status: offline

thanks will do that ;)...

..but i got to write more there and probably more interesting stuff....lol.
i was thinking maybe i have some collarme me setting blocking all incoming messages or something hehe.

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Post #: 5

RE: hey everyone ;) - 10/14/2007 3:12:49 PM

SunNMoon

Posts: 1058
Joined: 3/18/2007
Status: offline

if you want to test it you can test on me

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"We agreed to S&M only, sex and mockery." - Gray’s Anatomy.

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Post #: 6

RE: hey everyone ;) - 10/14/2007 3:51:54 PM

MaamJay

Posts: 2101
Joined: 9/2/2005
Status: offline

Not a bad introductory profile, now all you have to do is get Dommes to look!

I second the idea of writing more on the boards, that can get you noticed in a good way if you seem reasonably articulate and that you think about your responses and questions. Also you might notice a Domme that appeals ... check out Her profile and if She is of interest, it gives you something to strike up a conversation.

Are you reading the profiles and journals carefully of the Women you write to? Nothing turns people off quicker than someone writing inappropriately. For eg, don't write to Me as My profile clearly says you need to be in Australia! Make sure you read it first and refer to something in Her profile in your note. Don't offer yourself to all and sundry ... that's demeaning to the Domme as much as to yourself. you don't even know Her! Why would She want something that is given away so freely to just anyone? I'm not saying you do this ... but you'd be amazed at how often it happens!

Just some hints and tips here ... good luck sammy.

Maam Jay aka violet[A]

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Post #: 7

RE: hey everyone ;) - 10/14/2007 3:53:45 PM

youngsubgeoff

Posts: 900
Joined: 9/25/2007
From: The Asylum
Status: offline

Ive noticed this alot too. You send someone an email, and you get nothing. Not even a, "not interested, thanks". It seems common courtesy is dying out in this world.

< Message edited by youngsubgeoff -- 10/14/2007 3:55:40 PM >

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Post #: 8

RE: hey everyone ;) - 10/14/2007 4:10:53 PM

TNstepsout

Posts: 1558
Joined: 8/3/2005
Status: offline

You seem very sweet and genuine and you're cute too. So I'm certain, with patience, you will find a lovely Mistress. There is not really a trick to getting a Domme to respond, it's more of using good practice in general. There are already many, many threads on this subject so I hate to repeat myself, but for the most part when you contact a Domme read her profile first and understand what she's looking for, send a message that indicates that you read her profile. Be polite and respectful but not gushing and over the top. Show her that you want to get to know her as a person, not just have her wear the Mistress suit of your fantasy.

Scroll back through the posts on this board. There are a lot of good ones on how to write a good profile and what an opening email should be like.

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Post #: 9

RE: hey everyone ;) - 10/14/2007 4:17:15 PM

sammyBoy1980

Posts: 17
Joined: 6/13/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MaamJay

Not a bad introductory profile, now all you have to do is get Dommes to look!

I second the idea of writing more on the boards, that can get you noticed in a good way if you seem reasonably articulate and that you think about your responses and questions. Also you might notice a Domme that appeals ... check out Her profile and if She is of interest, it gives you something to strike up a conversation.

Are you reading the profiles and journals carefully of the Women you write to? Nothing turns people off quicker than someone writing inappropriately. For eg, don't write to Me as My profile clearly says you need to be in Australia! Make sure you read it first and refer to something in Her profile in your note. Don't offer yourself to all and sundry ... that's demeaning to the Domme as much as to yourself. you don't even know Her! Why would She want something that is given away so freely to just anyone? I'm not saying you do this ... but you'd be amazed at how often it happens!

Just some hints and tips here ... good luck sammy.

Maam Jay aka violet[A]

hey ;) thanks for the response and noticing me lol ! i think your right in what you wrote, i should read the profiles more carefully and probably write more in my messages to them right?

usually i just dropped a one liner first saying hi etc..and hoping they will check profile if interested.. but i dont think that is a good stratetgy. so ill try to learn from my mistakes.

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Post #: 10

RE: hey everyone ;) - 10/14/2007 4:18:14 PM

LaMistressa

Posts: 460
Joined: 12/4/2006
Status: offline

You might also want to attend munches or local events in your area. Where you live, you have a lot of resources at your disposal. Good luck!

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Post #: 11

RE: hey everyone ;) - 10/14/2007 4:23:49 PM

sammyBoy1980

Posts: 17
Joined: 6/13/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaMistressa

You might also want to attend munches or local events in your area. Where you live, you have a lot of resources at your disposal. Good luck!

thanks, yeah i should look into it..i never been to any bdsm events or such. just a newbie..guess im to eager lol.

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Post #: 12

RE: hey everyone ;) - 10/14/2007 5:31:59 PM

GoddessDustyGold

Posts: 2822
Joined: 4/11/2004
From: Arizona
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sammyBoy1980

hey ;) thanks for the response and noticing me lol ! i think your right in what you wrote, i should read the profiles more carefully and probably write more in my messages to them right?

usually i just dropped a one liner first saying hi etc..and hoping they will check profile if interested.. but i dont think that is a good stratetgy. so ill try to learn from my mistakes.

Hi sammyBoy1980, and welcome to the boards. You should think about sticking around and reading some of the older and even current threads which will give you lots of information.
Your response (I bolded above) shows Me what I suspected. Most of the Ladies on this board, and I imagine most of the ones who are not here either, are not here to respond to one liners saying "hi"... I often wonder why I get those so often. It is not an instant messaging chat system on the email end of things, so I do expect an actual email with some substance. If I receive something like that, first of all, I can see your basic stats at the bottom, so I don't even need to look further. You are in another state, and you are not in My age parameters. I also have pretty specific information regarding what I seek and what I expect in an introduction. So if the writer does not even make an attempt to "sell Me" then I cannot be bothered. Might seem cold, but we do get an awful lot of mail, and most of it is in the vein of what you are doing.
All that said, I do think you are on the right track with your profile, and you do mention realizing that it is also about pleasing the Domina. So you get a few brownie points for that. But you should get to some real time local events/munches, make yourself helpful, talk to the Dominas. If you did that consistently with Me in My area, I might consider taking you on for some training and playtime eventually. Anybody can send out fluffy emails and waste time chatting on IM, but not too many are actually willing to follow it through. The trick is not to be a fly by night "do me" boy, and to be sincere and honest.
Good luck!

< Message edited by GoddessDustyGold -- 10/14/2007 5:33:39 PM >

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Dusty
They that give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety
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Don't blame Me ~ I didn't vote for either of them
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Post #: 13

RE: hey everyone ;) - 10/14/2007 7:31:32 PM

MsSonnetMarwood

Posts: 1898
Joined: 2/10/2005
From: Eastern Shore, Maryland
Status: offline

To the OP - dropping a Domme a one liner basically asking her to look at your profile isn't going to get you much of a response. I know I probably wouldn't bother. You don't have to send your life story, but you at least need to acknowledge you thoroughly read her profile and something about it prompted you to write to her, specifically. Think no fewer than 4-5 sentences with about 10 minutes on your part to write it.

quote:

ORIGINAL: youngsubgeoff

Ive noticed this alot too. You send someone an email, and you get nothing. Not even a, "not interested, thanks". It seems common courtesy is dying out in this world.

Their lack of response is their "not interested, thanks", just not in so many words.

Let me give you a common scenario exchange of emails:

him: "Hi, nice pic.   Let's get to know each other?" (or something of this nature)
Her: "not interested, thanks"
him: "y not? I have pics. wutz ur yahoo?"
Her: "I'm just not interested. Good luck in your search."
him: "oh pleeeeeeeeze I'd do ANYTHING you say! PLease dominate me!"
Her: "You live 3000 miles away and my profile says I'm only looking for someone who lives locally. We're not compatable. Please move along."
him: "I'll come visit! I'm into <insert pornographic list of sexual demands here>" and adds a penis pic for good measure.
....at this point, she stops responding....
him: "You <insert expletives here> Fake! Fake! Whore!   You just want money!"

Soooo while not all emails end like this, they frequently do.   Sometimes if you're not interested, it's just easier to let that be known by not responding.

< Message edited by MsSonnetMarwood -- 10/14/2007 7:33:43 PM >

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Post #: 14

RE: hey everyone ;) - 10/14/2007 7:35:18 PM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

I think I still have in my profile that I don't respond to "everyone". I have been on this site a long time, so I don't get flooded with mail anymore (and that block function rules!) but even now one-liners don't get my attention. Though I do wave at the screen and say Hi when someone writes me to say just that.

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Post #: 15

RE: hey everyone ;) - 10/15/2007 12:20:31 PM

RosesHaveThorns

Posts: 312
Joined: 10/14/2007
Status: offline

Not a Domme, but mentioning something in the written bio that interests you might make you seem more sincere, honest, and serious about that Domme, not just messaging females out of the blue en masse. (Not that you do, but it seems like some are)

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Post #: 16

RE: hey everyone ;) - 10/15/2007 12:51:18 PM

ShiftedJewel

Posts: 2492
Joined: 12/2/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlesarbonn

The women on this site, like many others, get tons and tons of email from guys, so they may rarely respond to anyone unless they are already convinced it's something they desire to do.

Yanno.... reading this really depresses me... a lot.

Jewel

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Post #: 17

RE: hey everyone ;) - 10/15/2007 6:33:27 PM

Najakcharmer

Posts: 2121
Joined: 5/3/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sammyBoy1980
hey ;) thanks for the response and noticing me lol ! i think your right in what you wrote, i should read the profiles more carefully and probably write more in my messages to them right?

Abso-fucking-lutely.

quote:

usually i just dropped a one liner first saying hi etc..and hoping they will check profile if interested.. but i dont think that is a good stratetgy. so ill try to learn from my mistakes.

Learning from your mistakes is good. Dropping one liners is bad. I automatically delete and usually block people who are quite that indiscriminate, since it's obvious that they are not interested enough in talking to me to find something worth discussing on my profile.

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Post #: 18

RE: hey everyone ;) - 10/15/2007 6:47:05 PM

DiannaVesta

Posts: 1087
Joined: 2/6/2006
From: Mid-Atlantic area
Status: offline

You're a cute boy. Why don't you set up a cam show and invite a bunch of women? I'll come! lol

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Post #: 19

RE: hey everyone ;) - 10/15/2007 7:37:06 PM

Imajican

Posts: 39
Joined: 8/6/2007
From: Lincoln, Nebraska
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sammyBoy1980

hey im sammy, just a have a quick question? how do i get anyone to talk to me on here? i sent a few mails to some dominas/Mistresses..but havent gotten one singel reply lol..i must suck big time.

or is everyone professional?

/sammy

Nope, not professional.

I am by no means an expert on such things but there are some suggestions I would recommend based on the emails I've gotten on CM over the last couple months.

Send messages that are polite, personalized, and substantive. Read the profile of the person you're sending email to and note how you complement that profile rather than sending generic form letters saying you have a lot to give. I am so tired of hearing "I have a lot to give" from people. I want to hear what it is you think you can offer me. It's also common that people want to give me something I have listed as a dislike which only shows that they apparently didn't bother to read my profile so it's nothing more than time wasted for both parties involved.
Write intelligently, correct typing errors, use complete sentences and avoid shorthand (i.e. don't use "ur" and similar laziness.) While I don't expect perfection, I think it's lazy to jot a message then not take the time or effort to correct mistakes. In a text-based world it serves you to write well.
Avoid coming off as pushy, needy, or overly forward. Opening the door is one thing, throwing yourself at the door another. I much prefer that somebody get to know me on a friendly level and progress from there, rather than having somebody who wants *anybody* to do whatever to them. Willingness is good, but in my opinion willingness should be directed toward somebody, not open to just anyone.
Don't immediately put the ball in the dominant's court. To some extent it's about making a good first impression and coming off as somebody worth getting to know or at least someone worth learning more about.

There are other things I don't care for such as somebody calling me Mistress. It is in the same vein of somebody saying they're ready and willing to do X, Y, and Z for me. They don't know me so how do they have any idea that they *want* to do anything at all with me. Personally I also dislike when somebody attaches naked pictures to their email as I prefer to get to know somebody and leading-off with one's penis isn't really my bag.

Basically you want to contrast yourself from the hundreds of trolls out there who lack substance and can't seem to get out more than a 5-word sentence. I always try to respond to polite, well-written email even if it isn't from someone I'm interested in for whatever reason simply because I appreciate the time and effort they took. I've done the same with the profiles of people where they've written something informative and genuine. It's easy to tell when somebody has taken an effort in presenting themselves as worth getting to know.

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