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what do you do? - 10/14/2007 9:19:26 PM

Missokyst

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Joined: 9/9/2006
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I want to cry. I want to cut. I want to run away into the night and never return. I won't, but I want to. What do you do when things hurt you so bad you think there is no recovery? How do you cope with deep sadness and survive.
Give me some tips people. Tonight, I need them.
Kyst

_____________________________

pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding ~Gibran, Kahlil

“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”
― Bob Marley

Post #: 1

RE: what do you do? - 10/14/2007 9:27:09 PM

laurell3

Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
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I want to sometimes too. It took me a long time to realize that crying can be helpful, cathertic, releasing. Call friends, call a support line, take deep breaths, journalize your thoughts, take a look at your accomplishments, take an inventory of the good things about yourself, but do not harm yourself. And when you get through this moment, get some help.

Remember this though, you are not alone. We all as people have fears, doubts, saddness, pain, feelings of worthlessess, loss of hope and every other imaginable feeling.

Good luck to you, I'm sorry you're having a hard time.
l

(in reply to Missokyst)

Post #: 2

RE: what do you do? - 10/14/2007 9:32:26 PM

FangsNfeet

Posts: 3758
Joined: 12/3/2004
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I dust myself off. I shower, put on my hottest outfit, do what I can with what I can afford at the salon and mall, and then I pop in Garth Brooks "Friends In Low Places" and move on. The best way to move on is not to just move along, but to move in style. On my first night, I usually need a little help from Jack, Capt, and Jose. After I wake up, that's when I decide to breath and plan steps of what I need to do now. I'm still alive after all and I can do this one day at a time.

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I'm Godzilla and you're Japan

(in reply to Missokyst)

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RE: what do you do? - 10/14/2007 9:35:09 PM

Missokyst

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Joined: 9/9/2006
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Thanks for the thoughts. I could use some liquid right about now. If only I didn't have to get up so danged early!
Maybe tomorrow.
Kyst

(in reply to FangsNfeet)

Post #: 4

RE: what do you do? - 10/14/2007 9:39:08 PM

GoddessMine

Posts: 250
Joined: 9/27/2007
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I like to take walks.

Love,
GM

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Pleasure of the Text? Pleasure of the Goddess, more like it.

(in reply to Missokyst)

Post #: 5

RE: what do you do? - 10/14/2007 9:39:53 PM

FangsNfeet

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Joined: 12/3/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Missokyst

Thanks for the thoughts. I could use some liquid right about now. If only I didn't have to get up so danged early!
Maybe tomorrow.
Kyst

See there, you're already thinking about tommorow. The sun will continue to rise and so shall you. You're going to be fine.

Goodnight, I also have to get up too damn early.

_____________________________

I'm Godzilla and you're Japan

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Post #: 6

RE: what do you do? - 10/14/2007 10:03:44 PM

Damocles809

Posts: 532
Joined: 7/12/2006
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Work out, stretch, meditate, drive somewhere new.

Make a list of all the awful things I survived before.

Make a list my current options. Weigh the pros and cons of each.

Think of the worst case scenrios for each option. Prepare for the worst, and hope for the best.

(in reply to FangsNfeet)

Post #: 7

RE: what do you do? - 10/14/2007 10:17:35 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
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When it really gets that bad, I pray. Not "to god" or anything, I just pray. When I'm really at the end of it all, end of crying, end of emptiness, I pray.

I also pray at other times, but that particular is what I do at that time.

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Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

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Post #: 8

RE: what do you do? - 10/15/2007 12:36:05 AM

CuriousLord

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Joined: 4/3/2007
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Sit down and reevaluate things.

It seems a lot of pain comes from disappointed expectations- things you believe in being shown as false. More comes from wanting too much- thinking you should have that lover, that job, that grade, that family.. that whatever it is. And, why don't you have it? Why can't you get it? And then there's the pain. It's because, somehow, whatever you did wasn't surficient.

So, then, there needs to be the release. Maybe it was too much. Maybe that area's a weakness for you. Maybe it was a bad situation. Maybe fate just acted oddly. But, the maybe's aside, that's something to look more into another day when you're feel introspective. Today, you just need to accept that, whatever it was, it wasn't something you could achieve (gain, hang on to, whatever).

And, maybe, when you release that- it's an ego downer. Maybe if you release that job you wanted, you feel less useful. Or, if you release trying to hold onto that lover, you feel less desirable romantically. Or, whatever it is. And then you just have to reevaluate all of that, and see what you really believe, and just accept it.

I believe there's a lot about acceptance that can get one past such hard feelings. The only problem comes in when you're not willing to accept it- when the ego gets in the way- for better or for worse. And, in those cases, all you can do is act. If you can't continue to act for it, it's time to consider telling the ego to take a hike.

(in reply to Missokyst)

Post #: 9

RE: what do you do? - 10/15/2007 12:50:16 AM

pahunkboy

Posts: 33061
Joined: 2/26/2006
From: Central Pennsylvania
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you might feel better if you talk it out.

the blue pages of the phone book have cousellor info.

what is going on ?

(in reply to CuriousLord)

Post #: 10

RE: what do you do? - 10/15/2007 2:29:16 AM

SeeksOnlyOne

Posts: 2012
Joined: 5/14/2007
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http://positivepause.com/

_____________________________

it aint no good til it hurts just a little bit....jimmy somerville

in those moments of solitude, does everyone sometimes think they are insane? or is it just me?

(in reply to Missokyst)

Post #: 11

RE: what do you do? - 10/15/2007 2:52:06 AM

pahunkboy

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Joined: 2/26/2006
From: Central Pennsylvania
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quote:

ORIGINAL: SeeksOnlyOne

http://positivepause.com/

wow- i did not know i needed that too

(in reply to SeeksOnlyOne)

Post #: 12

RE: what do you do? - 10/15/2007 5:03:33 AM

Missokyst

Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
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I couldnt handle the positive pause, but your tag line made me feel a tad better. I want to believe that.
Kyst

quote:

ORIGINAL: SeeksOnlyOne

Though no one can go back and make a brand new start,....Anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending...

_____________________________

pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding ~Gibran, Kahlil

“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”
― Bob Marley

(in reply to SeeksOnlyOne)

Post #: 13

RE: what do you do? - 10/15/2007 5:36:30 AM

pahunkboy

Posts: 33061
Joined: 2/26/2006
From: Central Pennsylvania
Status: offline

if u need to talk- feel free to drop me an email

(in reply to Missokyst)

Post #: 14

RE: what do you do? - 10/15/2007 5:43:23 AM

PrettyOHDomme

Posts: 61
Joined: 8/26/2007
Status: offline

I work out. Pushing yourself physically gives you the same endorphins as cutting, without the psychological repercussions.

Eat some dark chocolate.

Concentrate on your breathing. 10 very slow, very deep breaths do a lot to help me past the "demons."

Have sex.

Honestly, sometimes, I chat with my doc and up my medication. You'd be surprised at how many people are or have been on anti-depressants.

*hugs*

I know you have lots of friends on here, but I'd also love to chat if you need to.

-Ellen

(in reply to pahunkboy)

Post #: 15

RE: what do you do? - 10/15/2007 5:58:01 AM

IrishMist

Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Missokyst

I want to cry. I want to cut. I want to run away into the night and never return. I won't, but I want to. What do you do when things hurt you so bad you think there is no recovery? How do you cope with deep sadness and survive.
Give me some tips people. Tonight, I need them.
Kyst

I focus all my energy on ONE thing that brings me absolute peace and contentment; it helps to keep the demons at bay so that I can get past the sadness and the hurt.

_____________________________

If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.

(in reply to Missokyst)

Post #: 16

RE: what do you do? - 10/15/2007 6:00:38 AM

HisSongstress

Posts: 103
Joined: 3/2/2007
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I find it helpful to acknowledge that I feel this way. And that those that love me don't shriek and run from my life. The honesty of saying that I feel like dying but am chosing not to is very empowering.

Fall is very difficult for me. Seasonal affective disorder changes me into an insecure, unmotivated, passive creature. I hate being this way. I am in denial every fall. So.....

I acknowledge that I have to deal with things. I do what works. I go back to the doctor and adjust meds. I eat right, sleep right, exercise, I limit my stress, I talk to my friends and lovers about how I feel.....do I want to do any of those things? NO!!! I want to die.... but that is not reality..... it is just chemical. I know that rationally. It helps me to know that this pahse will pass and that I can make it easier if I do the things that have worked in the past. But it is un-fucking-belieably difficult

Reaching out to others is difficult. Congratulations!!!!!

best!

song

_____________________________

"More, please." ....Oliver Twist

Before discovering bdsm, my motto was "Like me or bite me." But here, everyone seems to think that is an invitation.

(in reply to Missokyst)

Post #: 17

RE: what do you do? - 10/15/2007 9:17:28 AM

Missokyst

Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline

There are many times I wish I could rely on medication. Some years ago I tore the infispinatus musle from my shoulder blade. It never completely detached, but did enough damage that I always have some degree of pain. I have learned to deal with that without meds. Sometimes I can use that pain when I need a masochistic push. It doesn't seem to be working today. I feel numb, mentally heavy, and slow. I am a masochist who has always chosen pain to deal with things that normal people get passed. But it feels like there isn't enough pain in the world to get passed this.. sad.
Maybe walking will help. Thanks for all the suggestions.
K

_____________________________

pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding ~Gibran, Kahlil

“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”
― Bob Marley

(in reply to HisSongstress)

Post #: 18

RE: what do you do? - 10/15/2007 9:31:08 AM

brightspot

Posts: 3052
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Missokyst

I want to cry. I want to cut. I want to run away into the night and never return. I won't, but I want to. What do you do when things hurt you so bad you think there is no recovery? How do you cope with deep sadness and survive.
Give me some tips people. Tonight, I need them.
Kyst

After the fire that took most of my favorite things and killed two of my cats also causing me to become homeless for a while(but had shelter at my sister's). Also dealing with my mother dying of cancer....I am quite often hanging from a very thin thread. What helps me is to think of the people and animals that count on me in their lives.

I think in the context of believing that life is a school and sometimes we go through very dark periods where we learn are most valuable lessons.

I also remind myself that (and this is very difficult to believe until the light starts peeking in again) that "when one door closes, a new and better one will open".

I also try and remind myself that there are sooooo many more people that have much, much worse things they are trying to overcome in their lives.

Good Luck! Missy

< Message edited by brightspot -- 10/15/2007 9:34:40 AM >

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"Comedy is NOT Pretty!" ~Peter Nelson

But..."May at Least One person have a sense of Humor!" ~KML.

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(in reply to Missokyst)

Post #: 19

RE: what do you do? - 10/15/2007 12:07:47 PM

Missokyst

Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline

You are right. I am not diabetic, I don't have any of a variety of ailments that effect so many. I do have a back injury but after 10 yrs I have learned to deal with that. And, I have my son, who is my happy place. If it were not for that costume I promised him I don't know what I would do.
I will concentrate on my son, and try hard not to make him my savior.
Thanks for reminding me other people have it harder than I.
Kyst

_____________________________

pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding ~Gibran, Kahlil

“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”
― Bob Marley

(in reply to brightspot)

Post #: 20

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