RE: Falling In Love

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

RE: Falling In Love

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master >> RE: Falling In Love

Page: << < prev 1 [2] 3 next > >>

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: Falling In Love - 10/17/2007 5:18:05 AM

BeingChewsie

Posts: 1633
Joined: 10/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble

quote:

ORIGINAL: BeingChewsie

Quick reply:

I don't think there is any etiquette on it. R told me he loved me for the first time this past weekend after 7 years and 8 months of belonging to him, so I can speak to the what if you fall and love and the other doesn't part..that was my life for about the past 6.5 years. Some days it was hard but I knew it wasn't something he was intentionally holding back, he just wasn't in love with me. Everything else was so incredible that it made it OK but I can say without a doubt that I have wanted to be loved more than anythng and it is everything I thought it would be :):):).

You know BeingChewsie, I've always enjoyed reading your posts, but I don't think I've ever read a single post of yours that I enjoyed quite so well as this one. My heart is just beaming for you.

Celeste

Thank you Celeste :) I felt like I won the lottery when I earned a spot in his life so many years ago. I feel like I won again now. It was so heartfelt, so sincere, and so out of the blue from him. I'm still floating :).

_____________________________

"In fact, it is my contention that most women are accepting of way less than optimal circumstance constantly, and are lucky to be 'snagged' by the right man, if ever. But it is more by happy accident than by their design. "
~Ron and Hup

(in reply to BitaTruble)

Post #: 21

RE: Falling In Love - 10/17/2007 9:17:29 AM

meticulousgirl

Posts: 969
Joined: 2/20/2007
Status: offline

Like with just about everything else that we do in this lifestyle there is no right or wrong on this issue.

i know that i have learned that it is almost impossible for me to not love my Master. Whether you choose to let someone in when we practice this lifestyle or not it's your decision. Do what you feel is right for your situation, for you and your s.o. and dont let the forums sway you (not on this issue anyways) one way or another.

We all want to be loved and cared for but at the same time i'm going to say it and i mean it.

If you dont mean it, dont say it......it's that simple dont be something your not to impress there's to many fakes and wannabees and there is nothing worse to me then to be told that and then to have it be taken back....

~meticulous~

(in reply to OnyxDelphi)

Post #: 22

RE: Falling In Love - 10/17/2007 12:33:26 PM

HypnoticDan

Posts: 463
Joined: 5/23/2007
Status: offline

quote:

What is the social etiquette for falling in love with your Dom/Sub/Master/Slave?

quote:

Etiquette, one aspect of decorum, is a code that governs the expectations of social behavior, according to the contemporary conventional norm within a society, social class, or group.

-- Wikipedia

Hmm....
1. Avoid serenading from below their window, loud fights in the street, and other PDAs. No need to irritate total strangers.
2. Respect the other person. Let them know your feelings are growing. Far easier and more honest than building something up that could blow up in your face.
3. Put it in a letter. That will have all kinds of formality to it, help you clarify your thoughts, and should be seen as a romantic gesture given the time and thought you put into it.

Once you're in love, that's a whole other ball of fish.

(in reply to OnyxDelphi)

Post #: 23

RE: Falling In Love - 10/20/2007 1:41:28 PM

tigereyes60

Posts: 2
Joined: 9/19/2007
Status: offline

I very much enjoyed reading this. Thank you for posting your thoughts, very enlightening.

tigereyes

"every man dies, not every man really lives"

(in reply to biracalsub4wmDom)

Post #: 24

RE: Falling In Love - 10/20/2007 1:48:38 PM

tigereyes60

Posts: 2
Joined: 9/19/2007
Status: offline

This is very interesting, O/ours is a new relationship. I find I am falling for my Sir, but i worry whether to express how i am feeling, as i do not want it to damage, hurt or ruin what we have.

tigereyes

(in reply to michelleryder)

Post #: 25

RE: Falling In Love - 10/20/2007 2:06:06 PM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: OnyxDelphi

Is it wrong, should there be a fine line?

Only for some. For others a d/s relationship without love is completely unacceptable.

quote:

What do you do if you're not in love and the other one is?

The same thing you would do in a vanilla situation. Personally, I would leave the situation to not lead them on.

quote:

Is it wrong, is it right...and more importantly...what do you do?

Well, since I will not enter into a relationship where both parties are not open to falling in love, there really isn't a conflict for me. Valyraen feels the same.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to OnyxDelphi)

Post #: 26

RE: Falling In Love - 10/20/2007 2:40:32 PM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: BeingChewsie

Thank you Celeste :) I felt like I won the lottery when I earned a spot in his life so many years ago. I feel like I won again now. It was so heartfelt, so sincere, and so out of the blue from him. I'm still floating :).

Just wanted to add my congrats as well.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to BeingChewsie)

Post #: 27

RE: Falling In Love - 10/31/2007 7:12:00 AM

biracalsub4wmDom

Posts: 109
Joined: 7/26/2007
From: Illinois
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: tigereyes60

This is very interesting, O/ours is a new relationship. I find I am falling for my Sir, but i worry whether to express how i am feeling, as i do not want it to damage, hurt or ruin what we have.

tigereyes

My advice would be not to hide your feelings. I would think your Sir would want to know what you're thinking & feeling. And probably feel as if it is his RIGHT to know as well.

_____________________________

blessings...

biracialsub

***Please respect that I am OWNED & not seeking a Master. Thank You***

(in reply to tigereyes60)

Post #: 28

RE: Falling In Love - 10/31/2007 9:24:46 PM

girlygurl

Posts: 6973
Joined: 8/5/2007
From: in the palms of His hands
Status: offline

Is it wrong to love? imo... heavens no!
“The more you love, the more you can love—and the more intensely you love. Nor is there any limit on how many you can love. If a person had time enough, he could love all of that majority who are decent and just.”
- Robert Heinlein

girly

(in reply to OnyxDelphi)

Post #: 29

RE: Falling In Love - 10/31/2007 10:39:35 PM

MasterFireMaam

Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline

There is no social etiquette. If you want your relationship run that way (or don't), that's what you get...'cause you're the Master, that's why. You don't have to explain it...you only have to say, "This is how it will be."

Master Fire

_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to OnyxDelphi)

Post #: 30

RE: Falling In Love - 11/1/2007 7:25:19 PM

southernhart

Posts: 120
Joined: 9/27/2007
Status: offline

We, both love and cherish each other deeply and it has made our relationship so so high that we are never coming back down. Our love for each other makes a strong and invinceable and simply heightens everything for us.

(in reply to Gwynvyd)

Post #: 31

RE: Falling In Love - 11/1/2007 7:52:21 PM

MrSpectacular

Posts: 1153
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline

No rules - when it hits you you will know and you will not be able to control it - Sub or Dom
To answer the other part of your question - it hits couples at different times or sometimes not at all. That is often why relationships end.

_____________________________

Yes I am Spectacular and they are real!

(in reply to Gwynvyd)

Post #: 32

RE: Falling In Love - 11/1/2007 10:50:04 PM

slavegirljoy

Posts: 1207
Joined: 11/6/2006
From: North Carolina, USA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: OnyxDelphi

What is the social etiquette for falling in love with your Dom/Sub/Master/Slave.

Love is a feeling and i don't know of any etiquette governing feelings. Expressing that feeling is another matter. When my Master first spoke to me of becoming His slave, He made it very clear that i would be His slave for life and nothing more, not His girlfriend or wife or anything other than His slave. So, when i began to feel a deeper fondness for my Master growing inside me, it was very frustrating for me because i was afraid of overstepping my place, as His slave, if i were to express my feelings for Him.

It took a long time and several entries in my journal, which my Master reads, and discussions and tears and, gradually, it became clear that my feelings for my Master were not something to be afraid of and that they were welcomed by Him and that He had developed deeper feelings for me, too and these feelings were not going to cause my place in His life, as His slave, to change or change the way He uses me or change the way i serve Him.

i asked Him for permission to display my affections for Him through a hug and a kiss and He granted it. He also started to show affection for me by giving me a kiss or a hug. He has also moved me into His bed from my bed on His floor and has kept me there for the past month. For the first 22 months of my being His slave, He expected to see His slave wearing His collar, chained and asleep on His bedroom floor, when He got home from work. Now, He expects to see His slave wearing His collar, chained and asleep in His bed. He enjoys me being in His bed and i like being there. But, if He were to say to me that i need to go back to my bed on His floor, i would do so, without any bad feelings. i sleep well in both places and i know that He cares for me, just the same, whether i am sleeping in His bed or on His floor.

quote:

Is it wrong, should there be a fine line? What do you do if you're not in love and the other one is?

How can feeling love for someone be wrong? It can definately complicate a relationship, especially when one person feels love for the other and the feeling isn't returned. How to handle that really depends on how each person wants to handle it and what each is willing to live with. i am a very loyal person and i would never let my feelings interfere with my loyalty to my Master. i agreed to be His slave for life and that's what i feel bound to do. There was no love offered and no love guaranteed but, if love develops, even if it is one-sided, that doesn't give me cause to go back on my word to my Master to be His slave for life.

quote:

Is it wrong, is it right...and more importantly...what do you do?
-Master Fiik

Love is a feeling. How can that be wrong? Feelings just are what they are. What i did was let my Master know how i was feeling, through my journal and through discussions.

You can't make someone love you but, neither can you stop feelings of love from developing, if they are. You can't just say "don't love me" and expect that to be the end of it. Love happens, sometimes, especially over time, when two people are living together in a very intimate way and are depending on each other for meeting some very deep needs in each other. Love isn't a bad thing and it doesn't need to be a reason to change the Master/slave relationship that's already there. Love can add some to the relationship between the Master and the slave in a positive way. It can also complicate the relationship but, that is just something you have to deal with your own way.

Like with most issues in a relationship, feelings of love are not just going to go away on it's own, so it really is best just to get it out in the open and talk about it and then, figure out how to deal with it.

slave joy
Owned property of Master David

< Message edited by slavegirljoy -- 11/1/2007 10:59:07 PM >

(in reply to OnyxDelphi)

Post #: 33

RE: Falling In Love - 11/3/2007 8:33:09 AM

UNAMAGA

Posts: 1
Joined: 9/28/2007
Status: offline

I do not think it is love ... but the craving feeling I have now is eating me inside ... and I hate that ... Vanilla no longer interests me ...

Maga

(in reply to Gwynvyd)

Post #: 34

RE: Falling In Love - 11/3/2007 5:27:24 PM

Naturegirl4U

Posts: 3
Joined: 10/30/2007
Status: offline

Well, for me I need to be in love to let go and go deeper into submission. I need the connection. I can fuck anybody without feeling a connection. I can even submit to a point. But, to be there with my soul in hand means to be there with love, admiration and trust. Being in love is what sets me free to do what he wants, because when I'm in love it is never a chore. Making him happy becomes my goal without it actually seeming like a goal. What I mean is that things envolve naturally. That love/connection keeps me in the here/now. This has been my experience.

(in reply to Gwynvyd)

Post #: 35

RE: Falling In Love - 11/12/2007 10:57:51 PM

masterlink65

Posts: 683
Joined: 11/3/2007
Status: offline

many slaves never find a proper master, let alone one they can fall in love with. if this is the case with you,,,you should consider yourself very fortunate.

(in reply to OnyxDelphi)

Post #: 36

RE: Falling In Love - 11/13/2007 7:50:15 AM

southernhart

Posts: 120
Joined: 9/27/2007
Status: offline

We fell in love before we met. Then when we met it became deeper and now we are together forever. Everything he does for me and to me is done with complete and total love.

(in reply to masterlink65)

Post #: 37

RE: Falling In Love - 11/13/2007 2:34:04 PM

masterlink65

Posts: 683
Joined: 11/3/2007
Status: offline

i dont see anything wrong with it. seems only natural really.

(in reply to southernhart)

Post #: 38

RE: Falling In Love - 11/13/2007 3:25:41 PM

Padriag

Posts: 2633
Joined: 3/30/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: OnyxDelphi

Is it wrong, is it right...and more importantly...what do you do?

I think any dominant so foolish as to fall in love with their submissive should be fined two dozen long stem roses, with thorns, deliverable to said submissive.

I know, I'm harsh... but ya got get tough about these sorts of things.

_____________________________

Padriag

A stern discipline pervades all nature, which is a little cruel so that it may be very kind - Edmund Spencer

(in reply to OnyxDelphi)

Post #: 39

RE: Falling In Love - 11/13/2007 6:38:26 PM

breatheasone

Posts: 4004
Joined: 7/14/2007
Status: offline

My Master and I both agree that for us it was as close to "Love at 1st sight" as either of us will ever get. I realize thats not logical and I wrestled with it for a while my ownself, but it happened none the less. It has been 7 months now (and they said it wouldn't last LOL)

_____________________________

Romans 10:13,For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.
Mike posts in black font
candy posts in pink font

(in reply to Padriag)

Post #: 40

Page: << < prev 1 [2] 3 next > >>

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master >> RE: Falling In Love

Page: << < prev 1 [2] 3 next > >>

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.111