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Jinger -> RE: Ask me anything (10/23/2007 10:53:42 AM)
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quote:
Clarity is not my strong suit. Neither is logic. Go with your gut on this one.
Well then I'm going to assume you meant what I said: You love to serve, but your Dominant partner doesn't want/need your service. And you're asking "How can I accept that, and obey and still feel like you're serving?"
I've had to deal with this situtation once or twice. There I would be, ready to do absolutely whatever I was told and all I'd hear was "Just be quiet or something." In other words, my service was not needed.
Now first off...that relationship was bad. If they ALWAYS say "just be quiet or something" then you very well may have a neglectful Dominant. Which is what I had. Not serving is one thing, but to have someone not need or want your service at all is quite another. If that's the case then move on, because they're not worth the honor of your ability.
However, if for the moment they just don't need you? Then occupy yourself with personal tasks. I would sit and work on my posture while at the same time looking pretty. I also opening read books on BDSM and service so that I might better understand in general my role as a submissive. But these are just two examples, there are a number of things you might do that don't directly serve the Dominant while at the same time giving you a sense of purpose.
And while you do these things, the Dominant may very well take notice and become aroused. Arousal is good.
Use your imagination! Even stuff like yoga is a way to improve yourself.
If all else fails and you feel you need to be of service, anything at all, then communicate! Tell Her/Him how you feel, and if they honestly can't think of a single use for you? Well then...ummm...why are you serving them in the first place?
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