Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

RE: No limits - and what it really means


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: No limits - and what it really means Page: <<   < prev  1 2 [3] 4 5   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
RE: No limits - and what it really means - 10/16/2007 9:12:21 AM   
slavegirljoy


Posts: 1207
Joined: 11/6/2006
From: North Carolina, USA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Bondagenexus
Am I a potentially bad Dom? Just living in the wrong era? :)

Sorry but, i can't answer these questions for you.  Hopefully, you will be able to answer them for yourself, at some point.  As for me, there is no doubt that i am living in the wrong era and that i am at least 150 years too late.  i wasn't cut out for this modern world and have never felt really at ease with it but, i make do the best i can.  The best way for me to live happily in this modern age is to turn control of my life over to one Man, i call Master, who i trust completely and who provides for my welfare and then some. 
 
As to what no limits means,  why ask a bunch of anonymous strangers on the Internet?  Why not ask the person(s) you are or, will, consider getting personally involved with, how they define limits, no limits, submission, etc.?  Their answers, combined with how you define these terms/ideas, is what is going to really matter to you in your personal relationship(s).  That, and it makes for great conversation starters, when you can't think of anything to talk about. 
 
Good luck to you in your journey.
 
slave joy
Owned property of Master David

(in reply to Bondagenexus)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: No limits - and what it really means - 10/16/2007 9:14:10 AM   
MadRabbit


Posts: 3460
Joined: 8/9/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Bondagenexus

And whoever put money in the pool for "no answers gained" just lost a fair bet.  I'm definitely getting an unexpected and wonderful education here.


Give it time, little Jimmy....give it time....

It always starts off rational for the first few pages....

_____________________________

Advice for New Dominants
The Unpolitically Correct Lifestyle Definitions

Obama is NOT the Messiah! He's just a VERY NAUGHTY BOY

(in reply to Bondagenexus)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: No limits - and what it really means - 10/16/2007 9:15:27 AM   
TotalState


Posts: 278
Joined: 9/3/2007
Status: offline 		I would never, ever mess with hard limits, because when I negotiate, I make damn sure that they really are hard limits.  Honesty is so important in negotiation.  If I were a sub, I wouldn't trust *anyone* who says that they like to mess with hard limits.

Soft limits is a different matter.  Those can be brought up and pushed a little.

Even more different are those "not-really-limits-but-I'd-like-to-be-forced".  And I love doing just that.  I just make damn sure which is which first.


_____________________________

Spanking with a smile, living with feeling.

(in reply to Bondagenexus)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: No limits - and what it really means - 10/16/2007 9:17:09 AM   
mistoferin


Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline 		Short answer....anyone who has to "define" what they mean by "no limits"......HAS limits.

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to Bondagenexus)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: No limits - and what it really means - 10/16/2007 9:18:31 AM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MadRabbit

It means...

I am either going to read a thread full of people making fun of you for using the
"T-word"...

or...

You have just began another Collarme.com voyage into the world of No-Limit discussions where logic, reality, and rationality have no bearing and a whole lot of supposedly mature adults begin to entertain ideas of absurd silliness that have no bearing off the Internet.

Edited to Add : Oh wait...wait....

Nevermind

Bobs gone. This might not be that bad

LMFAO

Bad... Bad, Bad, Bad



_____________________________

If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.


(in reply to MadRabbit)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: No limits - and what it really means - 10/16/2007 9:19:13 AM   
Bondagenexus


Posts: 50
Joined: 10/2/2005
Status: offline 		That may be it. I may need a submissive who is open to having limits pushed.  Pushing limits at times becomes synonymous with growth... or even life.

I have vast experience in creating trust and I don't ever see myself giving up that bent.

(in reply to Tigrita)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: No limits - and what it really means - 10/16/2007 9:19:35 AM   
toservez


Posts: 1733
Joined: 9/7/2006
From: All over now in Minnesota
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Bondagenexus

quote:

ORIGINAL: toservez

2) People in real time over romanticizing their relationship by stating this. What they are just actually saying is my limits line up with my other and/or I have yet to encounter something or admit to others or myself that something is a limit since it will never be brought up by my other again.


Yeah! Thank you for more clarity.

I've seen the delusional and/or over-romanticized notions of no-limits in others.  And I'll admit that maybe I'm not seeing it in myself.  Yet.

What I'm wrestling with is my own fascination with my bottoms when they say "no limits."  It is an incredible, incredible turn on.  Even if they aren't truly submissive, they will bask for days [after whatever happened in the wake of their offering "no limits" to me] because I just gush about how wonderful it was and by extension how amazing they were.

As I search for a submissive, I'm hitting a similar intense reaction in myself in Domination that I also obviously get from topping with no limits. I'd flip out by having a submissive request that she find out what life would be like if she allowed me carte blanche in shaping her life and then have her follow through.

The clarity I got is that a well-informed slave choosing no limits is most likely a case of describing a Master and slave who are just so right for each other that it is easy for the slave to say she has no limits because they are just really unlikely to encounter anything that would show up as a limit.


Another way to look at how some people are not clouding the discussion with limits is just how open people are to things. As a person who came into this life without the Internet I did not even know what the word limit was. I was introduced to things by talk and actions and my owners and me judged by my reactions. I can tell you I have limits I would never of thought I would have that some even have question how I can call myself a slave and I also do not have limits in some areas most assume are a given. I got these from talking and experience not from Internet research.

People want to romanticize the things they do or want to do and paint worst case scenarios on things they do not. That is just natural behavior. The truth is almost every new thing I have ever done with every owner I have had has not been the work of any great erotica literature but been more about learning and trusting each other in that area before indulging and pure enjoyment. I think it is natural but a shame that often we project these false images based on how we want things to be.

What you describe to me of a submissive giving you carte blanche is a sincere request and can be a wonderful journey. It is the journey that my Master and I are still learning closing in on a year. But the journey does not have limits but just possible limits that will be discovered. I think what the people that are talking about with you is there desire to truly want to be in a relationship that their owner can truly indulge in their desires on a deep level because that is truly a delicious way to live. But this is not no limits but more lets see where we take each other type talk.



_____________________________

I am sorry I do not fit Webster's defintion of a slave but thankfully my Master is not Webster.

"Anything that contradicts experience and logic should be abandoned." - H.H. The 14th Dalai Lama

(in reply to Bondagenexus)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: No limits - and what it really means - 10/16/2007 9:19:37 AM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

Short answer....anyone who has to "define" what they mean by "no limits"......HAS limits.

I like that 

_____________________________

If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.


(in reply to mistoferin)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: No limits - and what it really means - 10/16/2007 9:23:03 AM   
Bondagenexus


Posts: 50
Joined: 10/2/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DiurnalVampire

Where is LA and her epic list of "read this before beating the dead horse" links?


My apologies to all those who are witnessing a dead horse being beaten.  I'm my world, the horse is staring me down the nose and snorting so loud it tickles my ears. :)

If there's any gold in the name calling frenzy of some past dead horse of a topic, definitely give me a link and I'll slip away quietly to study it for a while.

(in reply to DiurnalVampire)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: No limits - and what it really means - 10/16/2007 9:23:22 AM   
bandit25


Posts: 3029
Joined: 6/18/2005
Status: offline 		Bob left?  When did that happen?

(in reply to MadRabbit)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: No limits - and what it really means - 10/16/2007 9:25:41 AM   
camille65


Posts: 5746
Joined: 7/11/2007
From: Austin Texas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Bondagenexus

quote:

ORIGINAL: DiurnalVampire

Where is LA and her epic list of "read this before beating the dead horse" links?


My apologies to all those who are witnessing a dead horse being beaten.  I'm my world, the horse is staring me down the nose and snorting so loud it tickles my ears. :)

If there's any gold in the name calling frenzy of some past dead horse of a topic, definitely give me a link and I'll slip away quietly to study it for a while.
 Just because it is a dead horse for some, doesn't mean it is a dead horse for all.

_____________________________


~Love your life! (It is the only one you'll get).




(in reply to Bondagenexus)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: No limits - and what it really means - 10/16/2007 9:29:13 AM   
Bondagenexus


Posts: 50
Joined: 10/2/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

Short answer....anyone who has to "define" what they mean by "no limits"......HAS limits.


That's profound.

I imagine that even the person who sparked this thought for me (by asserting she has no limits) does in fact have at least the limit of who she offers no limits to.  Otherwise one would figure she'd be chainsaw fodder by now. :)

(in reply to mistoferin)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: No limits - and what it really means - 10/16/2007 9:35:08 AM   
Bondagenexus


Posts: 50
Joined: 10/2/2005
Status: offline 		Oh yeah!  If, in a public play setting, a submissive says she has no limits, I get shut down inside because...

I don't know whether to believe her.

I fear it's going to go badly if I show her the edge of my limits.

And my pattern of wanting to please my temporary date is so very strong.  Who wants to be known as a selfish top who doesn't satisfy?  Yuck.

Hell yes, I know the feeling of dealing with her offer of no limits in discord with my own, at least in play.

(in reply to RRafe)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: No limits - and what it really means - 10/16/2007 9:38:45 AM   
Bondagenexus


Posts: 50
Joined: 10/2/2005
Status: offline 		Yes, being known as someone who occasionally craves pushing hard limits can't be all good.  And yet my longtime lovers are raving fans.  I guess now that I've thrown that out there, it will serve me by filtering out those who would be a bad fit. :)

You hit the nail squarely on the head.  Honest, upfront, clear communication of all limits - especially as they shift over time - is essential.

(in reply to TotalState)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: No limits - and what it really means - 10/16/2007 9:40:24 AM   
Bondagenexus


Posts: 50
Joined: 10/2/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MadRabbit
Give it time, little Jimmy....give it time....
It always starts off rational for the first few pages....


LMAO!!!

(in reply to MadRabbit)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: No limits - and what it really means - 10/16/2007 9:43:12 AM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline 		~~ fast reply to the OP now that my happy happy dance is over ~~

For myself, and myself only; when I am discussing the concept of 'no limits' I always use it in the context of being with a person who I trust implicitly and in doing so, he sets the limits within the relationship, not me.
So, even if I can say that I have no limits; I am still adhering to the limits that he sets.


_____________________________

If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.


(in reply to Bondagenexus)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: No limits - and what it really means - 10/16/2007 9:46:28 AM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		For me, I expect someone to have a few limits and reasons for them. If they have none, I just assume thats becasue they havent actualy experimented enough to have found them yet. I work alot with novices, so thats what I run into. I dont like someone with a huge list of hard limits that they have never even tried. However, I also dont believe that someone who professes to be no limits will stay that way as they get more experience.

My 2 cents
DV



_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to Bondagenexus)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: No limits - and what it really means - 10/16/2007 9:48:38 AM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: toservez


quote:

ORIGINAL: Bondagenexus

quote:

ORIGINAL: toservez

2) People in real time over romanticizing their relationship by stating this. What they are just actually saying is my limits line up with my other and/or I have yet to encounter something or admit to others or myself that something is a limit since it will never be brought up by my other again.


Yeah! Thank you for more clarity.

I've seen the delusional and/or over-romanticized notions of no-limits in others.  And I'll admit that maybe I'm not seeing it in myself.  Yet.

What I'm wrestling with is my own fascination with my bottoms when they say "no limits."  It is an incredible, incredible turn on.  Even if they aren't truly submissive, they will bask for days [after whatever happened in the wake of their offering "no limits" to me] because I just gush about how wonderful it was and by extension how amazing they were.

As I search for a submissive, I'm hitting a similar intense reaction in myself in Domination that I also obviously get from topping with no limits. I'd flip out by having a submissive request that she find out what life would be like if she allowed me carte blanche in shaping her life and then have her follow through.

The clarity I got is that a well-informed slave choosing no limits is most likely a case of describing a Master and slave who are just so right for each other that it is easy for the slave to say she has no limits because they are just really unlikely to encounter anything that would show up as a limit.


Another way to look at how some people are not clouding the discussion with limits is just how open people are to things. As a person who came into this life without the Internet I did not even know what the word limit was. I was introduced to things by talk and actions and my owners and me judged by my reactions. I can tell you I have limits I would never of thought I would have that some even have question how I can call myself a slave and I also do not have limits in some areas most assume are a given. I got these from talking and experience not from Internet research.

People want to romanticize the things they do or want to do and paint worst case scenarios on things they do not. That is just natural behavior. The truth is almost every new thing I have ever done with every owner I have had has not been the work of any great erotica literature but been more about learning and trusting each other in that area before indulging and pure enjoyment. I think it is natural but a shame that often we project these false images based on how we want things to be.

What you describe to me of a submissive giving you carte blanche is a sincere request and can be a wonderful journey. It is the journey that my Master and I are still learning closing in on a year. But the journey does not have limits but just possible limits that will be discovered. I think what the people that are talking about with you is there desire to truly want to be in a relationship that their owner can truly indulge in their desires on a deep level because that is truly a delicious way to live. But this is not no limits but more lets see where we take each other type talk.




another way to look at it would be that there are submissives/slaves who do not limit their Doms/Master's behavior or activites by way of their own personal preferences or squick factors.
 
for example:
consider the slave that has never shaved her genital area and equates it with being desirous of a pre-pubescent state and a general turn-off, but in service to Master, who desires it to be kept smooth because that is His preference, she keeps it that way, in spite of her own previous personal preferences.  without Him as her Dom/Master, it would be kept as she desired...but upon becoming His, His will is what is desired.
 
the slave who was raped at a young age by way of being forced to jack off the rapist into a toilet...hand jobs and fondling a penis have always been on her squick-list, but in service to Master, she fondles Him and gives Him hand-jobs because it pleases Him.
 
she does not set limits on Him according to her unresolved past issues, preferences or pleasures, and it has no resemblance to over-romanticizing the mutual enjoyment of the same activities.

(in reply to toservez)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: No limits - and what it really means - 10/16/2007 9:50:22 AM   
TotalState


Posts: 278
Joined: 9/3/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Bondagenexus

Yes, being known as someone who occasionally craves pushing hard limits can't be all good.  And yet my longtime lovers are raving fans.

See, that suggests to me that you weren't pushing a truly hard limit.  And that suggests a lack of analysis on both you and your lovers' behalf.

EDIT:  Of course, limits can change.  But that's the sort of thing re-negotiating and post-scene navel gazing uncovers.  If I'd break a truly hard limit, I'd fully expect to be a dom without a sub.


< Message edited by TotalState -- 10/16/2007 9:52:53 AM >

_____________________________

Spanking with a smile, living with feeling.

(in reply to Bondagenexus)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: No limits - and what it really means - 10/16/2007 10:00:24 AM   
Bondagenexus


Posts: 50
Joined: 10/2/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TotalState

quote:

ORIGINAL: Bondagenexus

Yes, being known as someone who occasionally craves pushing hard limits can't be all good.  And yet my longtime lovers are raving fans.

See, that suggests to me that you weren't pushing a truly hard limit.  And that suggests a lack of analysis on both you and your lovers' behalf.

EDIT:  Of course, limits can change.  But that's the sort of thing re-negotiating and post-scene navel gazing uncovers.  If I'd break a truly hard limit, I'd fully expect to be a dom without a sub.



Fair enough.  For my part, they were very, very clear about those limits - and I was reasonably elegant in pushing them.

It's almost come down to a philosophy for me that those limits are there for me to push.  I'm certainly drawn to it.

(in reply to TotalState)
Profile   Post #: 60
Page:   <<   < prev  1 2 [3] 4 5   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: No limits - and what it really means Page: <<   < prev  1 2 [3] 4 5   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.094