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do you feel a split? - 10/16/2007 8:38:14 AM   
mydomsabstrd


Posts: 1775
Joined: 10/5/2007
Status: offline 		im just wondering if other subs/slaves sometimes feel a split in their personalities.  meaning that you are one way with your Dom/Master and another completly different person with everyone else?

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damn right
i used to care.....now i take a pill for that
i said shush girl, shush your lips, do the hellen keller and talk with your hips!!!!
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RE: do you feel a split? - 10/16/2007 8:47:05 AM   
toservez


Posts: 1733
Joined: 9/7/2006
From: All over now in Minnesota
Status: offline 		No, I know this answer is common and seems too simplistic but I do not change in front of my Master it just feels natural.

I guess I would like to compare it that do you feel weird after taking orders at work all day to then go into a restaurant and feel different because the wait staff are now serving you? No, because over time this is just natural to everyone.

I am not saying that there is a this is different feeling that comes when first happens like first start serving my Master in some way, first move in with him, first 24/7 and things of that nature. In general though things like conscious differences just do not happen as with most people in life we take on different postures based on the situations and we would never consider this a change in our personality. We are still who we are.


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I am sorry I do not fit Webster's defintion of a slave but thankfully my Master is not Webster.

"Anything that contradicts experience and logic should be abandoned." - H.H. The 14th Dalai Lama

(in reply to mydomsabstrd)
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RE: do you feel a split? - 10/16/2007 8:49:06 AM   
NewJustlookin


Posts: 361
Joined: 8/22/2007
Status: offline 		Dear Mydomsabstrd,

I do feel the same way, Though I choose to be this way. Not because I'm afraid of what other might think, or whatever. I believe that poeple should do it how they feel. Though it does help a lot to be more open. I do open to other's then I would to family memeber. Some of my friend know I'm all about D/s relationship, and my family have no clue. If you feel you should be open and be your self then so be it. If that who you why change unless it's effecting your life then you might want to open up. I will one day tell my parents but when I feel comfy to tell them.

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RE: do you feel a split? - 10/16/2007 8:54:45 AM   
mydomsabstrd


Posts: 1775
Joined: 10/5/2007
Status: offline 		i understand where you are coming from.  everyone i know knows about that side of my life, because it is my life.  you should have heard the convo between my mother and i on this lol  but it had to be done. and far be it from me to not aggrivate my mother.

_____________________________

damn right
i used to care.....now i take a pill for that
i said shush girl, shush your lips, do the hellen keller and talk with your hips!!!!

(in reply to NewJustlookin)
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RE: do you feel a split? - 10/16/2007 8:59:58 AM   
pseudopsychotic


Posts: 145
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline 		::Fast reply::

I think it's more like...Another side of myself?
Like you're not the same person at work that you are at the bar right?
Bar Me and work Me have totally different traits, yet both are part of who I am.
There's a time and a place for everything..yaddayadda.
&& Yeah, I think you are supposed to be different around your Dom, because you have a totally differnt relationship.
But that's just my opinion.

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Got a problem with me Solve it.
Think I'm trippin? Tie my shoe
Can't face me? Turn around

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RE: do you feel a split? - 10/16/2007 9:01:53 AM   
mydomsabstrd


Posts: 1775
Joined: 10/5/2007
Status: offline 		sorry toservez  i missed your comment somehow,  im not saying that i change in front of Him.  i am how i am with him.   and this is sooooooo much harder to explain than i thought it would be.  

_____________________________

damn right
i used to care.....now i take a pill for that
i said shush girl, shush your lips, do the hellen keller and talk with your hips!!!!

(in reply to mydomsabstrd)
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RE: do you feel a split? - 10/16/2007 9:11:23 AM   
Shawn1066


Posts: 987
Joined: 10/7/2007
Status: offline 		Not really a split...no.  There's a different level of comfort.  There are, of course, some things that are acceptable in front of one's Mistress/Master that are not acceptable elsewhere.  It's never a COMPLETE different...just subtle things.

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RE: do you feel a split? - 10/16/2007 9:15:28 AM   
NewJustlookin


Posts: 361
Joined: 8/22/2007
Status: offline 		Well keep trying to explain it maybe we'll understand it better. I've got all the time in the world to listen. But like pseudopsychotic said " I think you are supposed to be different around you dom, because you have a totally different relationship"  But also you can be the same way around other people the only problem they proabably won't get it.



< Message edited by NewJustlookin -- 10/16/2007 9:22:55 AM >

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RE: do you feel a split? - 10/16/2007 9:27:29 AM   
mydomsabstrd


Posts: 1775
Joined: 10/5/2007
Status: offline 		thank you everyone for your answers. i think alot of this feeling comes from the fact that i am only submissive to Him, and no one else.  He is the only one that can Dominate me.  if others try i just laugh at them and go ummmm no, dont think so.  others refers to family, friends, bosses, ect.  but in the same instance i do my best to make sure all are happy.  am i making any sense?

_____________________________

damn right
i used to care.....now i take a pill for that
i said shush girl, shush your lips, do the hellen keller and talk with your hips!!!!

(in reply to NewJustlookin)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: do you feel a split? - 10/16/2007 9:40:01 AM   
NewJustlookin


Posts: 361
Joined: 8/22/2007
Status: offline 		Yup I understand that fact that you only let "Your Dom" dominate you. Because you trust him in a "speical way or speical Bond"  the to put then you would lets say your best friend. And yes because you feel you want to make everyone happy doesn't make you submissive. I think of it meaning you care. I treat poeple with respect doesn't mean I'll submit to them in anyway that I to "my Dom". Probably do what you would just laugh at them and probably laugh some more. I hope this has helped in some ways.

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RE: do you feel a split? - 10/16/2007 9:58:44 AM   
mydomsabstrd


Posts: 1775
Joined: 10/5/2007
Status: offline 		acually everyones  has, thank you.

_____________________________

damn right
i used to care.....now i take a pill for that
i said shush girl, shush your lips, do the hellen keller and talk with your hips!!!!

(in reply to NewJustlookin)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: do you feel a split? - 10/16/2007 10:08:24 AM   
mistoferin


Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline 		I understand what you are trying to say but no, I don't feel a "split". I am a multi-faceted person and my submission in a relationship is only one facet of the totality of what makes up "me".

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Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to mydomsabstrd)
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RE: do you feel a split? - 10/16/2007 10:14:16 AM   
daddysprop247


Posts: 1712
Joined: 6/24/2005
From: DC Metro area
Status: offline 		no, i don't personally feel such a personality "split", but i think that what you are describing is fairly common among lifestyle submissives. many only feel submissive to a particular person, who they respect, trust, admire, etc. typically their Dominant/Master, and no one else. i can imagine that dealing with the constant shifts would be a struggle and frustrating at times. in my case i am the same always, my submissive nature is not limited to my Master or any particular situation, it just is. of course this can lead to its own problems, but that is true of anything in life.

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RE: do you feel a split? - 10/16/2007 10:58:53 AM   
mistoferin


Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: daddysprop247
i can imagine that dealing with the constant shifts would be a struggle and frustrating at times.


I don't feel conflicted, frustrated or a struggle at all. Actually, I feel that if I were submissive to the whole world it would make my submission to one less meaningful.

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to daddysprop247)
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RE: do you feel a split? - 10/16/2007 11:02:18 AM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		No one acts with the preacher the same way they act with the whore.

You are in a position to thought dwell on this perfectly natural phenomenon.

Ghengis Ron 

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Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


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RE: do you feel a split? - 10/16/2007 11:09:05 AM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: daddysprop247

no, i don't personally feel such a personality "split"... my submissive nature is not limited to my Master or any particular situation, it just is...



this slave agrees with the above cropped portion of prop's response, as it applies to her as well, but would like to add...
Master has been cultivating within His slave a "Mrs. Merc" persona for His slave to use in situations where she has to deal with vanilla folk.  it is a role, but not an entirely uncomfortable one, as it pleases Him to see it applied in the appropriate situations.
it causes this slave a certain amount of distress and discomfort, because it is so opposed to her nature, but hey, He identified Himself as a sadist to this slave on her way in... 

< Message edited by Mercnbeth -- 10/16/2007 11:39:32 AM >

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RE: do you feel a split? - 10/16/2007 4:34:02 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		I understand what you mean about feeling split, and it's very common, specially for newbies.  But try and see it as more as simply who you are, not what you do.  A wife does not treat anyone like her husband except her husband.  This does not mean she is split or two people, simply that she has unique relationships with different people all going on at the same time.

It helps if you choose friends who will know and understand all of yourself and can enjoy your relationship with your dom on an ongoing basis, rather than primarily in "chunks" such as online or kinky weekends.

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Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

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RE: do you feel a split? - 10/16/2007 7:31:31 PM   
chellekitty


Posts: 3923
Joined: 3/27/2005
Status: offline 		having to wear different "hats" does not make your personality split...the mom hat, the employee hat, the daughter hat, the sister hat, the aunt hat, the neighbor hat, the walmart shopper hat....there are different ways you have to *act* in different situations...but if you choose to have in your mind all the time "what i am doing reflects upon my Dominant" if you are in a power exchange relatonship or "what i am doing reflects upon how the world see's me" in general...then it can tie it all together....in other words...much like the "WWJD" bracelets...think..."WWMDWMTD" (what would my Dom want me to do) before you act....its a conscious effort...and if he wants you to be submissive to all people...and you agree...act that way....or if he wants you to be just submissive to him and never to anyone else....and you agree...act that way...or if there is some where in the middle...and you agree...act that way....i guess the key is communication....funny how that comes up so often...ask a whole bunch of "what should i do if...." questions...

good luck
chelle


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One thing I know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who will have sought and found how to serve. ~Albert Schweitzer

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RE: do you feel a split? - 10/17/2007 5:34:24 AM   
gentlestarZR


Posts: 49
Joined: 10/7/2007
Status: offline 		i'm not gonna say split .. but i am free to be myself with Master ..its not a split its just hiding a little away till i am Masters arms again to be free .. god i love that feeling ..

(in reply to chellekitty)
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RE: do you feel a split? - 10/17/2007 5:50:37 AM   
kyraofMists


Posts: 3292
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline 		Of course I behave differently in front of my Lord than I do in front of other people.  That doesn't make me a different person though; I am still the same person I just choose the behaviors that are appropriate for the interaction that I am participating in.

I am not going to go to work and behave the way I would behave when I am interacting with him.  In fact, when the three of us are interacting with others, my behavior towards them will be different than my behavior towards him and my behavior towards Alandra.  Different relationships require different behaviors.  However, different behaviors do not mean that I am not being the same person when I exhibit those different behaviors.  The differences in the behaviors only demonstrate the differences in the relationships. 

Knight's Kyra

_____________________________

"Passion... it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us... passion rules us all. And we obey..." ~Angelus

(in reply to mydomsabstrd)
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