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RE: Problems with liking an older mistress - 10/18/2007 12:09:14 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DiannaVesta

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

So glad all the other women my age said the rest of the stuff on my mind!  I didn't want to come off like the cranky old Auntie.



Older Auntie? Oh I love that!



Well, we ARE older! <G>   And yeah, okay I AM ultracranky, but one tries to remain cheerful when posting. :)

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]



(in reply to DiannaVesta)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Problems with liking an older mistress - 10/18/2007 12:15:00 PM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: jmasterson


quote:

I suggest you try to find your local scene and go charm women in person. I have played with men 20 years younger than me and had a great time, but I didn't know how young they were until much later :)

I would love to go out to the local scene and meet people but I don't really know where to get started with that. Any advice? ;)



Try this link to find munches in your area and that might lead you to other groups.

http://www.darkheart.com/usalist.html

Now a days you can also usually do a google search on SM + Group or BDSM + Group and find information if you add your state. Not all groups are listed though so might want to ask folks who are in your state if they have recommendations.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to jmasterson)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Problems with liking an older mistress - 10/18/2007 12:38:48 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		Okay, maybe my opinion won't matter to you since I don't have any interest in younger males but I can give an honest gut reaction to your approach and your profile.

"Hey, whats up...I am a hot cut 20 year old and I love to be dominated by all kinds of women. I especially have a fetish and desire to be dominated by an older MILF."

Even if a gorgeous young woman wrote that on her profile, I would not have any interest. Let me explain why

"Hey, whats up" = should be self explanatory but just in case you are clueless.....not many women of the calibre you say you want are going to relate to that type of chatter.

"I am hot" = I don't care if you think you are hot. Have you ANY CLUE how many hot submissives there are out there? Also, your photos will speak for you. You do not need to tell anyone what they can see.

"I love to be dominated by all kinds of women" = well shit, let me get in line then!!! NOT!

"I especially have a fetish and a desire to be dominated by an older MILF." = Do me do me do me. Not what we want to here. What can you do for ME??????? Plus,.....MILF????? oh pullllllleeeeeeeeezzzzzz. No self respecting woman I know wants to be called a MILF. It's crude and disrespectful.

"I am especially into face sitting, ass worship, wrestling, watersports, etc.........you get the picture" = Again, this reads as DO ME, not what you can do FOR ME.

Basically, it all reads like all you are interested in is kinky sex. Nothing wrong with that, but you need to understand that is what it is telling the reader.


_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to jmasterson)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Problems with liking an older mistress - 10/18/2007 12:55:14 PM   
BoiJen


Posts: 2608
Joined: 3/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

"I especially have a fetish and a desire to be dominated by an older MILF." = Do me do me do me. Not what we want to here. What can you do for ME??????? Plus,.....MILF????? oh pullllllleeeeeeeeezzzzzz. No self respecting woman I know wants to be called a MILF. It's crude and disrespectful.



And this is EXACTLY why I LOVE women who don't have any respect for themselves...lol...sorry MsLT many many women I communicate wih like that I tell them I have a thing for them cuz they give off MILF-y vibes. Hell there's a wonderful woman who's only greeting from me is "Hey there oh MILF of my masturbating dreams" and yes that's the first thing I called her when I laid eyes on her. It takes all kinds. Older younger kinky sex lovers and "hardcore" bitch-women. Generalities work both ways...sometimes they apply and sometimes they don't.

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Problems with liking an older mistress - 10/18/2007 12:58:56 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		LOL!  I confess I only found out what MILF meant last week......thank you Wikipedia! 

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]



(in reply to BoiJen)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Problems with liking an older mistress - 10/18/2007 1:16:17 PM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

LOL! I confess I only found out what MILF meant last week......thank you Wikipedia!


Please share with it us cause I don't have a clue.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Problems with liking an older mistress - 10/18/2007 1:17:32 PM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		MILF Mom Id like to fuck

_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to thetammyjo)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Problems with liking an older mistress - 10/18/2007 1:23:23 PM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		If you want to be taken seriously, you have to make your profile sound serious. 
Right now, you wont be taken seriously becaue you sound like the tons of other prettyboy younger guys on here to get their rocks off and be done with it.
Fox is 20, I am 30.  We connect well because the age wasnt the REASON we got together. If you are more interested in the age of your prospects than you are their ability or their other interests, you are going to have trouble. Personally, at least, I have a taste for younger men. However, they have to be mature, provably so within a conversation or two, interesting beyond the bedroom and scene and have goals with their life. You might have great potential, but until you can get that across... we wont know that.

Hope that helps
DV


_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to thetammyjo)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Problems with liking an older mistress - 10/18/2007 1:54:53 PM   
jmasterson


Posts: 26
Joined: 7/1/2007
Status: offline 		To all those saying that I sound like a "do me" sub because I list my interests... part of any personals add is to say what you enjoy so that people can know if they are compatable with you or not. There is a lot of activities covered under BDSM and I say what I am interested in so that others can see if they share those interests and to help people decide whether or not to get farther invovled with me. I know you can use the built in interest list but I chose to emphasize some of my favorite things on my profile so that those who are just browsing can see. I really don't see where you all are coming from on this issue; it is practical for one to list one's interests on a site that focuses on a topic as varied as BDSM.

As for the term MILF being disrespectful, it might be if you are uptight but honestly these days its became a very common term for an older woman who is hot (at least from the eyes of young people), and I've seen women use it to describe themselves on other websites such as Adult Friend Finder. I would compare it to a term like BBW. I don't think it is disrespectful because all it really means is that a woman who is a MILF is older (well compared to me, like I would say a MILF is 30's and up) and attractive.

Thanks to those who gave advice about finding local groups, I'll look into that. I'm sure it would a pretty interesting experience.

< Message edited by jmasterson -- 10/18/2007 1:59:22 PM >

(in reply to DiurnalVampire)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Problems with liking an older mistress - 10/18/2007 2:05:23 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		Hey, no skin off my ass. You will present yourself as you wish. I was just trying to help you out. You don't want to give mine, or anyone else's, opinion any consideration, you forfeit the right to bitch later on.

It's not like I have anything to gain or lose.


_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to jmasterson)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Problems with liking an older mistress - 10/18/2007 2:22:49 PM   
jmasterson


Posts: 26
Joined: 7/1/2007
Status: offline 		I gave everyone's opinion consideration, including your's, but I decided that I didn't agree on the issue of certain people considering listing interests to be inappropriate. I did take a lot of the advice given and I'm planning on rewriting my profile as soon as I get around to it, I do appreciate the advice.

< Message edited by jmasterson -- 10/18/2007 2:23:17 PM >

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Problems with liking an older mistress - 10/18/2007 2:31:39 PM   
youngsubgeoff


Posts: 900
Joined: 9/25/2007
From: The Asylum
Status: offline 		I hear ya man. It is hard for someone our age to be taken seriously, through no fault of our own. Its just that alot of people our age dont really know who we are and what we want, wich can make it harder for the rest of us.

One little peice of advice though: do not just jump into any relationship. Take your time, let it develop. Just keep going too. Dont give up.

(in reply to jmasterson)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Problems with liking an older mistress - 10/18/2007 2:32:47 PM   
BoiJen


Posts: 2608
Joined: 3/7/2007
Status: offline 		I'm telling you guys I haven't had a problem :)

(in reply to youngsubgeoff)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Problems with liking an older mistress - 10/18/2007 2:40:01 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		I know several young women that have had nooooooooo problem at all!

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to BoiJen)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Problems with liking an older mistress - 10/18/2007 2:40:51 PM   
BoiJen


Posts: 2608
Joined: 3/7/2007
Status: offline 		but I'm just a lil boi! lol

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Problems with liking an older mistress - 10/18/2007 2:43:00 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BoiJen

but I'm just a lil boi! lol


Yes, I know one or two others that also have the same wonderful advantage you have. A bit of an understanding of how both gender's brains work. It is a lethal combo.


_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to BoiJen)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Problems with liking an older mistress - 10/18/2007 3:39:11 PM   
RumpusParable


Posts: 1923
Joined: 7/7/2005
From: NYC now!
Status: offline 		And, as with your profile and posts on the boards, you're continuing to look younger than your age.

Take the parts of my post to you that you quoted earlier in response:  you largely and purposefully (I assume you're not of low intelligence) took them in bits out of context and then assigned your own meaning.  You refused to address them as whole statements  or the meaning clearly displayed because they weren't ones you liked... so you played games.

You're doing the same with other female's posts in this thread that don't tell you what you want to hear.  No one said that simply considering yourself attractive is wrong, no one said that addressing your interests was wrong, but you decided to pretend that that is what they said instead of them talking about HOW you addressed these matters in your profile and how it comes across.

And plenty more that is clear and intended game-playing/avoidance on your part.

People posted to help in answering your questions and guiding you in directions that would help you be more successful in what you state desiring; you respond with the exact lack of maturity, do-me'ism and conceit that they are trying to caution you against.

At this point I think it would be safe to tell you that your profile is spot-on for who you are at this point.  Perhaps you will find someone wanting who you are right now, and I genuinely wish you both luck and happiness and much fun should that happen soon.

_____________________________

Relationships come and go, but plastination is forever.

I generally use fast-reply. If directing my post at someone specific I will indicate so.

Minimal summary: Artist, Disabled Veteran, Vegan, Pornographer, and Agender dominant female.

(in reply to jmasterson)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Problems with liking an older mistress - 10/18/2007 6:35:09 PM   
jmasterson


Posts: 26
Joined: 7/1/2007
Status: offline
quote:


ORIGINAL: RumpusParable

You're doing the same with other female's posts in this thread that don't tell you what you want to hear.  No one said that simply considering yourself attractive is wrong, no one said that addressing your interests was wrong, but you decided to pretend that that is what they said instead of them talking about HOW you addressed these matters in your profile and how it comes across.

Ok, let me address this entire statement:
I never said that anybody said that me considering myself attractive was wrong, so I don't know where that came from.  What I did say is that people seem to take issue with that fact that I express that I think that I am attractive. And I agreed with them that I may have came off as cocky in how I expressed that that, and I said that I decided to change my profile because of that. But I did also say that I didn't think it was as big of a deal as people were making it out to be.

Now for the second part of your entire statement: People may have not directly said that addressing my interests was wrong, but they did object to me listing and describing them, such as here:
quote:


ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

"I am especially into face sitting, ass worship, wrestling, watersports, etc.........you get the picture" = Again, this reads as DO ME, not what you can do FOR ME.

Around here I have recently learned that "do me" has a negative connotation, so this statement apparently objects to my listing my interests. Perhaps you think I should be more subtle about it, I don't know. I chose to be direct and simply list what I am into, but around here apparently that leads people to give me the lable of "do me", which obviously has a bad connotation. So this leaves me wondering, what would you people consider to be a proper way to address my interests? I really don't know why people have a problem with my directness about it, why mince words?

As for my other post that was mainly in response to your first reply, I don't think I took anything out of context. I responded to the areas of your post that I either disagreed with or that I thought needed some explaining on my part. For example, I responded to your line about my bisexuality because I thought it was important that people understood that the line about me being picky was only for guys. You seemed to think that my using the word picky made me sound pompous. I know that most people are picky, but I thought that my pickiness towards guys needed emphasis because I AM very choosy with guys. Its not because I think that I am super good looking but its because of the nature of my sexuality that makes me exceptionally choosy with guys.

Anyway, Rumpus, I am wondering if you think that me showing my naked chest on my profile made me seem immature.
quote:

There are ways to address all the things you discuss in your profile that do not sound so vaguely or (again trying to be clear) making it feel reasonable to wonder if you've ever sent or used a penis photo as a way of meeting someone online.

Well incase you did start to wonder no, I don't send penis pics (unless requested). Since I'm bi I have a profile on another website and I hate it when people send penis pics or have that for their profile pic... everyone has a cock, I want to see the rest of a person. Just felt like adding that. ;)

(in reply to RumpusParable)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Problems with liking an older mistress - 10/18/2007 7:25:06 PM   
stella41b


Posts: 4258
Joined: 10/16/2007
From: SW London (UK)
Status: offline 		I just wanted to add two more things to consider if you want to be successful with an older Domme. Please forgive my being blunt, but I'd have thought it was obvious.

Firstly, being 'hot' to her is completely different to what being 'hot' means to you. It's got nothing to do with the way you look. It starts somewhere deep inside you and comes out in the way you come across to other people. Consider everyone else sees you differently to the way you see yourself. You can therefore replace 'hot' with the word 'cool' and you'd be moving in the right direction.

But you can go much further. Consider that you're looking for an older Domme, therefore (I would assume) someone who's a different generation to you. She's female, you're male, and I've yet to come across an older Domme who really cares what society thinks when it comes to someone who takes her feelings, even if that someone is much younger. Nobody else out on the street are going to know who you are to each other anyway. Therefore (if I were you) I would even go as far as 'meek' and 'unassuming'. That is probably what she's looking for, and if you stop and think about it that's what most of the Dommes are telling you in this thread, but each in their own individual way.

Also, second thing, stay well out of her territory. The answers to 'if' and 'what' both lie well inside her territory, not your's. Consider that the 'if' is entirely her decision, not your's, and so is the 'what' (what you do together), and that 'if' you are really nice to her she might allow you on the odd occasion to decide 'what', so long as it fits in with what she wants too.

All the Dommes here are very serious about what they've posted in response. This isn't just fun to them, it isn't a game, referring to yourself as dominant if you're female and allowing certain people to address you as Mistress or Ma'am etc is a very serious matter for them.

Therefore if you're a submissive, doesn't matter who you are, there's only one way to go about this, and that is their way. Unfortunately there's a lot of subs out there struggling with this relatively simple concept. Just make sure you're not one of them.

I wish you the best of luck.

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Problems with liking an older mistress - 10/18/2007 7:39:42 PM   
MissMagnolia


Posts: 3636
Status: offline 		Hmmmmmmmm, the OP asks a question, in the Ask a Mistress section, then disagree's with most of what's been said BY THE MISTRESSES.

A pretty pointless exercise, really.

Even not knowing your age OP, I would block and delete you if you emailed me. You're far too up your own arse to let anyone else get up there.

_____________________________

if at first you dont succeed..then skydiving isnt for you

Resident Whip Cracker AND Resident Orbs Of Joy.


(in reply to stella41b)
Profile   Post #: 40
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