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RE: Problems with liking an older mistress - 10/18/2007 9:23:03 PM

jmasterson

Posts: 26
Joined: 7/1/2007
Status: offline

Thanks, Stella... "meek and unasuming", we'll see how that goes with me, lol

As for MissMagnolia, I think I agreed with most of the mistresses all in all, lots of what they said I am taking in account in my plan to edit my profile. Theres just a few technical things that we have been debating.

< Message edited by jmasterson -- 10/18/2007 9:37:26 PM >

(in reply to MissMagnolia)

Post #: 41

RE: Problems with liking an older mistress - 10/18/2007 9:46:19 PM

Aheeb

Posts: 32
Joined: 12/19/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MissMagnolia

Hmmmmmmmm, the OP asks a question, in the Ask a Mistress section, then disagree's with most of what's been said BY THE MISTRESSES.

A pretty pointless exercise, really.

Even not knowing your age OP, I would block and delete you if you emailed me. You're far too up your own arse to let anyone else get up there.

I would have to agree with You Miss magnolia.
To the OP. First thing is your display picture, it just dosn't seem "subby" or that you are serious about the lifestyle. you might want to hide your face but you can be creative in showing you are serious.
second your profile is way way way to blunt and self focused. You should use that space to inform people about yourself, what you do, what you are going to school for, and you can work in some of your intrests in play since you feel like you have to do that. However, just listing how you liek to play makes you not seem not serious about this lifestyle. (i would also remove the being picky part in your profile yes it might apply only to men but stating that it makes it seem like you have no standard for the Dommes).
Lastly Never, Never, Ever call a Domme a MILF or Cougar. You wouldn't go up to some one on the street and go "you are a SILF" (SILF being Someone Id Like to Fuck) and you better not do that to a Domme but rather go "I prefere mature beauty" or "mature Domme"
Also when asking for advice on the Mistress forum its bad form to try to argue with every thing they say. but what do I know I am just a 20 year old slave who has only served older females :)

(in reply to MissMagnolia)

Post #: 42

RE: Problems with liking an older mistress - 10/19/2007 12:53:25 AM

MissMagnolia

Posts: 3636
Status: offline

"As for the OP", I suggest you reread your responses to most of the suggestions that were made.

Still, your an arrogant 20 year old with 5 minutes in the lifestyle, I'm only 46 with 28 years in the lifestyle, what would I know?
*winks at aheeb"

< Message edited by MissMagnolia -- 10/19/2007 12:54:35 AM >

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(in reply to MissMagnolia)

Post #: 43

RE: Problems with liking an older mistress - 10/19/2007 4:47:05 AM

MsSonnetMarwood

Posts: 1898
Joined: 2/10/2005
From: Eastern Shore, Maryland
Status: offline

So while all the advice given is good.....the reality is that the gent in question's original profile is also probably his most "honest" one - it reflects how he sees thing most clearly. He can rewrite it a million ways to make himself look better, but if that will reflect who he really is - well. A profile should be how he really thinks, because that will come out sooner or later regardless of how his profile appears.

Whether or not he can attract a Domme without a serious, genuine shift in how he views Dommes and the BDSM lifestyle is another matter entirely.

< Message edited by MsSonnetMarwood -- 10/19/2007 5:11:36 AM >

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Deja Moo: The feeling you've heard this bull somewhere before.

(in reply to MissMagnolia)

Post #: 44

RE: Problems with liking an older mistress - 10/19/2007 4:52:52 AM

MissMagnolia

Posts: 3636
Status: offline

Agreed.

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(in reply to MsSonnetMarwood)

Post #: 45

RE: Problems with liking an older mistress - 10/19/2007 5:17:24 AM

RumpusParable

Posts: 1923
Joined: 7/7/2005
From: NYC now!
Status: offline

Ditto, just exactly my thoughts at this point.

To the OP:

I really can't be clearer and you're still doing it, in fact repeating it at this point.

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(in reply to MissMagnolia)

Post #: 46

RE: Problems with liking an older mistress - 10/19/2007 8:30:21 AM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

I hadn't really thought about it that way. After all, honesty is the best policy.

You never know, someone may see him and enjoy knocking the attitude out of him, educating and maturing him into a submissive she is proud to call her own.

I forsee alot of time spent in chastity, on all fours, with a ball gag in his mouth....

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to RumpusParable)

Post #: 47

RE: Problems with liking an older mistress - 10/19/2007 8:44:46 AM

Politesub53

Posts: 14862
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

I forsee alot of time spent in chastity, on all fours, with a ball gag in his mouth....

Sounds like a reward to me Ma`am

i agree about profiles and being honest. The basic character of a person will always shine through, and no how often i type in that i am 6` tall..... i am still 5`9"

(in reply to LaTigresse)

Post #: 48

RE: Problems with liking an older mistress - 10/19/2007 8:47:22 AM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

I would be very displeased if a total stranger called me a MILF. Very.

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(in reply to Politesub53)

Post #: 49

RE: Problems with liking an older mistress - 10/19/2007 9:28:19 AM

sammyBoy1980

Posts: 17
Joined: 6/13/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: jmasterson

I am 20 years old and in college, and I seem to have the problem that I am attracted to older, mature women. Nothing turns me on more than the thought of being dominated by an older woman. Unfortunately at my age it is hard to be taken seriously. I was wondering if I could get any advice from any older doms out there as to what I could do to make myself more appealing. I have heard that I am very physically attractive but an older woman would not be comfortable sexually dominating me.

"older" women rule...in many ways

(in reply to jmasterson)

Post #: 50

RE: Problems with liking an older mistress - 10/19/2007 9:41:30 AM

stella41b

Posts: 4258
Joined: 10/16/2007
From: SW London (UK)
Status: offline

To the OP, I was being deadly serious.

No point in even trying if you aren't prepared to try what 30 or so Dommes are trying to tell you on the boards.

If you're not prepared to even try to be 'meek and unassuming' how the hell can you even call yourself submissive?

Oh and I'd take that 'lol' sneer at my advice back if I were you.

Consider that I'm also a submissive, but I'm a TS female submissive, so I got deep gender issues. Consider that I don't have the looks, because I'm over 40, have a weight problem which has meant a stop start stop start course of hormone therapy, so I ain't the most convincing, slimmest, or even most visibly feminine of transsexual females, also consider that most people in modern society consider me a freak or a weirdo.

Not that it bothers me, I know who I am, and so do the other people in my life. They know what I've gone through, I'm going through, and how I'm responding to it.

An 6 month online relationship with an American Domme ended suddenly for me last week. I deleted my old profile, spent a day or so thinking about what to put in this profile, So this profile isn't even a week old.

Through the profile I already got two Dommes prepared to travel to the UK to meet me. One younger, one older.

However it's looking pretty certain that I'm going to be the submissive partner and slave of a 48 year old novice Polish Domme living in eastern Poland a short drive away from the Lithuanian and Belarussian borders. I previously lived in Poland for 14 years, so I can assimilate just like a Pole and speak the language. She's known me for 2 years, we tried to be together last year but she had major problems and so did I. I'm most likely travelling out to Poland to meet her in November.

Consider also that half my support network and female friends are either Dommes I've served at some point or ones I've come across through the community. A couple are Dommes I've helped in some way.

How so? They know that if they want 'meek and unassuming' from me they get 'meek and unassuming' the way they want it. I don't have to try, I just do, I'm a born submissive.

I wasn't giving you my opinion, I was telling you the truth, just like all the other Dommes here.

And the simple truth is that you don't try, you listen and you do, and you do it their way. End of.

< Message edited by stella41b -- 10/19/2007 9:42:30 AM >

(in reply to jmasterson)

Post #: 51

RE: Problems with liking an older mistress - 10/19/2007 10:52:49 AM

bipolarber

Posts: 2792
Joined: 9/25/2004
Status: offline

j,

I know this is not really my forum to post in, but I do have a bit of experience with the problem that you are experiencing. Aside from the wonderful advice that the other Dommes have already offered you, I might suggest that you work on your abilities as a companion, as well as just a submissive. This means working at understanding the generation of the Domme you are looking for. You need to immerse yourself in the music, movies and books that were popular during the years that your Domme's target age would have been in high school and college. That means rolling back the clock a good 20 years. The reason is simple: when I was owned by a Domme who was 20 years my senior, she had no problem dominating me physically, but psychologically, there was an age barrier. We didn't "get" each other's pop culture references. As such, it created a wall between us. I could never eradicate it completely, but I could minimize it by boning up on the times that she had come into full flower as a person.

Also, it helped to focus on social activities that we could share: plays, concerts, and retro-clubs that were a little before both of our times. (I have great memories of dressing up in 40's style clothing and going to a WWII style dance with her... it was like being in another era entirely.)

Just a thought.

(in reply to thetammyjo)

Post #: 52

RE: Problems with liking an older mistress - 10/19/2007 5:00:30 PM

jmasterson

Posts: 26
Joined: 7/1/2007
Status: offline

Well at this point if a certain person feels inclined to attack my arguments by describing them as being simple "gameplaying" and accueses me of taking things out of conext but never offers any examples to back up these accusations I'm not going to bother myself with responding.

To Stella, I'm sorry I wasn't clearer. That lol laugh was not at your advice but was a result of me picturing myself as meek. One thing I am not is meek. In real life I am often unasuming. I will always defend myself, but I am not offended (and not joking around) I am often unasuming. In play however I would have no problem being meek, it would come naturally as I am submssive. But for me, like many, play and real life are two different things, so I don't think its a problem that I am not meek in real life. And I am not one to try to use my scene persona in my profile or emails around here. Some mistresses seems to like it but I've read many others who think it is a turn off and comes off as being silly. I agree with the latter, so that is why I don't act meek around here, and nor will my profile sound meek.

Bipolarber, I would say my "ideal" range for the "ideal" mistress would be something like 25-35. I woulden't mind a younger one around my age but I just seem more drawn towards those that are a little older. I call that range ideal because its just a generalization; I've also found many, many mystersses older than 35 that appeal to me just as much as those in my ideal range. For a 25 year old mistress there probably woulden't be too much of a cultural gap but I see your point for a 35 year old mistress. Thanks for your advice, I appreciate it.

(in reply to bipolarber)

Post #: 53

RE: Problems with liking an older mistress - 10/19/2007 5:21:47 PM

DiannaVesta

Posts: 1087
Joined: 2/6/2006
From: Mid-Atlantic area
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: bipolarber

j,

I know this is not really my forum to post in, but I do have a bit of experience with the problem that you are experiencing. Aside from the wonderful advice that the other Dommes have already offered you, I might suggest that you work on your abilities as a companion, as well as just a submissive. This means working at understanding the generation of the Domme you are looking for. You need to immerse yourself in the music, movies and books that were popular during the years that your Domme's target age would have been in high school and college. That means rolling back the clock a good 20 years. The reason is simple: when I was owned by a Domme who was 20 years my senior, she had no problem dominating me physically, but psychologically, there was an age barrier. We didn't "get" each other's pop culture references. As such, it created a wall between us. I could never eradicate it completely, but I could minimize it by boning up on the times that she had come into full flower as a person.

Also, it helped to focus on social activities that we could share: plays, concerts, and retro-clubs that were a little before both of our times. (I have great memories of dressing up in 40's style clothing and going to a WWII style dance with her... it was like being in another era entirely.)

Just a thought.

Excellent advice! I agree

_____________________________

(in reply to bipolarber)

Post #: 54

RE: Problems with liking an older mistress - 10/19/2007 6:50:21 PM

bulejkt1972

Posts: 32
Joined: 9/7/2007
Status: offline

Mr. jMASTERson... are you at all sure, you're a submissive?

Maybe none of my business, but I do find it some what interesting that you tend to be quite defensive (even to the point of being mildly arrogant) in most of your replies to a load of pretty good advice here in this thread. But maybe that's just your style and maybe that's in essense the underlying problem.

I'd never suggest that you come on as a self-destructive wimp (which you're obviously not), but a certain degree of manners should probably be part of your "submissive fantasy". This is NOT myspace.com and recognizing where you're at is a fundamental truth in effective communication.

Oh well... best wishes in your search.

h

(in reply to DiannaVesta)

Post #: 55

RE: Problems with liking an older mistress - 10/19/2007 6:53:44 PM

LaMistressa

Posts: 460
Joined: 12/4/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: jmasterson

Bipolarber, I would say my "ideal" range for the "ideal" mistress would be something like 25-35. I woulden't mind a younger one around my age but I just seem more drawn towards those that are a little older. I call that range ideal because its just a generalization; I've also found many, many mystersses older than 35 that appeal to me just as much as those in my ideal range. For a 25 year old mistress there probably woulden't be too much of a cultural gap but I see your point for a 35 year old mistress. Thanks for your advice, I appreciate it.

I'll just be over here in my rocking chair, reeling over the idea of someone 25 being an older Mistress, oy!

(in reply to jmasterson)

Post #: 56

RE: Problems with liking an older mistress - 10/19/2007 9:13:20 PM

BoiJen

Posts: 2608
Joined: 3/7/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: bulejkt1972

Mr. jMASTERson... are you at all sure, you're a submissive?

In this lifestyle we are who we say we are. And while I understand occassional check-ins with one's self to make sure we're still on the right path...this question comes off as judgemental. This might have a lot to do with my own perspective...then I get to reading the rest of this post...

quote:

Maybe none of my business, but I do find it some what interesting that you tend to be quite defensive (even to the point of being mildly arrogant) in most of your replies to a load of pretty good advice here in this thread. But maybe that's just your style and maybe that's in essense the underlying problem.

When you get personally told you're wrong don't you get defenseive? We all have habits as individuals. When given a chance to change them or clear directions to do so our general reactions are one of two: defensiveness or accpetance. That's being human. Consciously or unconsciously this may have to do with the OP's personal state. It does not however have very much to do with how "submissive" anyone is or isn't.

quote:

I'd never suggest that you come on as a self-destructive wimp (which you're obviously not), but a certain degree of manners should probably be part of your "submissive fantasy". This is NOT myspace.com and recognizing where you're at is a fundamental truth in effective communication.

Oh well... best wishes in your search.

h

You suggest that the OP does not have the cognative abilities to decifer the differences between the motivations of different sites. A 12 year old can, a 21 year old can, 39 year old can, 56 year old can...the list goes on. My personal mannerisms change with how personally attacked I feel at the time. Anyone whos' tracked my posts will tell you my reactions can range from "sure no problem" "fuck off you stupid cunt" to a simple "no thank you" or "whatever". Some of these things are based on personal expereince and others are outside factors.

To some of the women who have posted on thsi thread, when the OP has countered and not whole heartedly agreed, they have assumed he knows nothing. That he's some 20 year old with a chip on his shoulder that says he should get what he wants without working for it. To others it's simply his matter of choice effective or ineffective it doesn't matter to them at all.

This thread is about a Domme's age certain characteristics that appeal to the younger s-type. He asked for advice. Upon volunteering it, the women and men who responded opened themselves up to the possibility of their advice being taken or not taken. To judge the OP's "maturity" or in this case his cognative processing abilities, is unfair. And judgemental. One might believe, in some twisted, way that those who are not responding positively to the OP's choices thus far, are bitter at his youth and ability to "bounce back." Or even his choice to say "no."

Now if reading this you became offended...think about what posting things that suggest one is less than who they say they are would dredge up. Or maybe suggesting that one's age is a measure of they are in that characteristic alone.

Yeah I ranted. Yeah I hijacked the thread. And yeah it's past midnight on a really long day.

(in reply to bulejkt1972)

Post #: 57

RE: Problems with liking an older mistress - 10/20/2007 12:57:35 AM

bulejkt1972

Posts: 32
Joined: 9/7/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: BoiJen

Yeah I ranted. Yeah I hijacked the thread. And yeah it's past midnight on a really long day.

You can hijack all you want, sweet heart (by the way, it's cognItive...), but your lix-count is above my mere mortal intellect... I didn't understand ONE SINGLE word of what you were writing...

I think the guy was a jerk, that's all... and I tried to explain why in a sober tone.

But you simply have to decipher your ramblings if I shall have a Chinaman's chance of understanding it... sorry!

Sleep well...;-)

(in reply to BoiJen)

Post #: 58

RE: Problems with liking an older mistress - 10/20/2007 1:00:48 AM

MissMagnolia

Posts: 3636
Status: offline

Oh thank god h, I thought it was just me!!!

_____________________________

if at first you dont succeed..then skydiving isnt for you

Resident Whip Cracker AND Resident Orbs Of Joy.

(in reply to bulejkt1972)

Post #: 59

RE: Problems with liking an older mistress - 10/20/2007 2:00:25 AM

MissMagnolia

Posts: 3636
Status: offline

BTW stella, I wanted to say thank you and that you made an excellent and very valid post.

_____________________________

if at first you dont succeed..then skydiving isnt for you

Resident Whip Cracker AND Resident Orbs Of Joy.

(in reply to MissMagnolia)

Post #: 60

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