RE: Update...

RE: Update... (Full Version)

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submissfifi -> RE: Update... (10/18/2007 9:11:25 AM)
Well neither can I understand why I'm so emotionally involved. This is what all the problems have been about. I just thought thats how it had progressed. But its not the same for him. So this is why things have got to this stage. We have swapped lots of photos and seen each other on cam. I want to meet, he doesn't. He doesn't think I'm ready for him, and feels that the way I have behaved that he doesn't want to meet me. The fact I've behaved like this is because I'm frustrated and actually want to meet. In the meantime thats why his profile states still looking for that someone. What more do I need to do? other than what I already know and have apologised for.

mistoferin -> RE: Update... (10/18/2007 9:19:09 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: submissfifi What more do I need to do? Ummm....drop it and get on with your REAL life? Maybe you should ask yourself why it is that you would want to continue to try to get back a man(that you never really had in the first place) who has treated you like you are yesterday's trash. You should ask yourself why it is that you care so little about yourself. You should ask yourself why, instead of pursuing real life relationships you are chasing fantasy unicorns. You should ask yourself why it is that you are carrying on and on about something that doesn't even exist.

RRafe -> RE: Update... (10/18/2007 9:20:42 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: submissfifi I never said everyone was like this, I said it was few and far between. But the thought of any other dom just isn't exactly what I need. Deep down I still want him, why god only knows. I know that there are some dishonest people out there. I know life can be hard when people break your trust. I have taken a break. Do u think what I did was bad? I didn't enjoy it, but at the same time he would never have told me. I've had girls pull the same shit with me-that this guy did with you. Not using the same excuses-but same dishonesty. I didn't bother to try and find them out-I have friends. When you are in a community-things get back to you through the grapevine. I would not have minded them screwing around -except that is was behind my back-and I would have liked the same options being left open to me. So I could find better. Anyhow, what I learned is this. I just tell someone-if you want to be exclusive-tell me if you change your mind. If you want to play games-do it with someone who gets off on it-I don't.

Rule -> RE: Update... (10/18/2007 9:29:38 AM)
Cut your loss. It was a cyber dom? Then it is no loss at all. Cybers are merely pixels on a screen. He was probably married. Just wait a bit and you are likely to be collared and gagged and added to his other girls by a dom who is the real McCoy.

chellekitty -> RE: Update... (10/18/2007 9:38:44 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MrDiscipline44 Am I fuckin channeling Dr. Phil or what? i was wondering the same thing....this is too weird...i don't like change...but change is good, change is inevitable...its ok...i'll be ok...just breathe chelle... MrD...i give you permission to be just the way you want to be [sm=biggrin.gif] (that was a joke) chelle

MrDiscipline44 -> RE: Update... (10/18/2007 9:41:06 AM)
Damn, cause I sure did have the cuffs and harness ready for ya. [:D]

chellekitty -> RE: Update... (10/18/2007 9:42:36 AM)
cuffs and harness? <perk> for what purpose...wait....tell me more....i might not be joking.....

secretagentgirl -> RE: Update... (10/18/2007 10:56:41 AM)
quote: Deep down I still want him, why god only knows. You want a version of him that sadly doesn't exist. People go through this all the time in all sorts of relationships: kinky, vanilla, friends, and family. Accepting that the person won't/can't give you what you want is one of the hardest things to deal with in life, but the fact is - he is what he is. And that means he's not for you. Be glad you got out when you did... you probably would have been even more invested in it if it was in person (although I'm not denying the power of a cyber connection.) Heartbreak is just part of life, unfortunately. There IS someone else out there who will make you happy and give you what you want. This doofus ain't it. Onward....

BeingChewsie -> RE: Update... (10/18/2007 11:05:40 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: submissfifi Vanilla girlfriends are not going to understand the first concept of a kinky relationship. That in itself will take more explaining than what actually was happening. I have apologised to him for my actions, and I deeply regret them. [sm=banghead.gif] You never had a relationship with him, you never met him. You know what believe me beg him hard enough he'll use you some more. That is obvously what you want is for him to keep using you to get his rocks off without ever meeting you or having any kind of relationship with you. I'd point out how pathetic that is when you want a relationshp but you already know that.

BadJezebel -> RE: Update... (10/18/2007 11:56:56 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: laurell3 psst...the horse is dead....stop beating it and re-beating and re-beating and re-beating .... (pun intended) Dang, I just don't get it..... you're a woman, most likely you have more options than most guys out there..... The statistics are in your favor; there are more male Doms looking for female submissives than vice versa. [;)] While you are more than the sum of your parts, your body parts are still in HIGH demand [:)].... get your hair and nails done, slap a smile onto your face, put on something flattering and sashay out into the world. Figure out what is special about you (besides blind dedication to a cyber dream) and be confident that it's something worth offering someone. Then make sure that person is worth offering it to. Maintain some self respect. Believe me submissives with confidence and self respect are MUCH more attractive than the desperate sniveling losers that want someone, just anyone to pay them some attention. This is partially because what is implied in the latter is that to them, a Domme/Dom might just be that "anyone" rather than "the one" for them --- and that, is not just annoying but slightly insulting.

PryderiLoup -> RE: Update... (10/18/2007 5:32:19 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: laurell3 psst...the horse is dead....stop beating it Wait! I saw a hoof twitch! Never mind, it was just a glitch in the Matrix

SixFootMaster -> RE: Update... (10/19/2007 12:40:08 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: submissfifi Hi, Following on from the whole not allowed to contact Sir post. I went to speak with him the day I was supposed to, only to straight away be accused of being a day early, which I was not. He never talked to me about it, why I behaved that way, nothing. Just that did I want to be owned by him, and that he was waiting on me. Well now that really is ironic, when after setting up a fake profile on facebook, to which he denied using, he was flirting with fake me. I always had a vibe I was one of many, and that he was never really that interested. Next came his profile here, saying how he hadn't meet that someone, and hoped to find it here. How very charming, two weeks no contact with me, whilst he resumes his search for that someone! It gets better, when I asked, note the word asked, not confronted, apparently someone had logged in and changed his profile, how bizzare, and then he said he hasn't used it in months, well thats funny he was looking at my profile 3 days ago, and oh look he logged in a few hours ago too. Wow that hacker is good. I mean come on, credit me with some intelligence, yeah I maybe submissive sexually, but I'm not stupid. Oh I will change it, I will delete it, well there was last night to do that, and first thing this morning when he logged in! Yet it still remains. Then theres sending fake me a photo in a dare via facebook, something which I had asked from him for months, yet a complete stranger on facebook gets it straight away. Theres going on a diet, theres exercising for him, theres doing everything I possible could for him, theres investing my time and energy in him, theres the fact I commited to him. Yet all along I was played. Yeah yell at me for entrapment, or underhand tatics, but was I wrong? no I wasn't? He was never interested in me, never even attracted to me, being describe in a photograph as summery really didn't cut it either. Theres the whole speech about how a relationship should be built on honesty. I was always honest with him, (yeah mention the fake profile) but the whole reason the fake profile exisit was because I couldn't bare two weeks without talking to him. Yeah pathetic, sad, old me. What a sucker hey. And if you all think for one minute I'm happy, I'm not. A guy, a dominat guy that I was very attracted to, who I did everything I could possibly do for, who I had commited too, has broken my trust, my respect,but most importantly my heart. And not one word of an apology. So I know he maybe few and far between. But why do I feel such a fool? k.. Haven't read the other posts, not going to. Wrong to try and get around his rule by making a false profile but I gather you know it is wrong, and don't need to be told that - deserving of punishment, but there's a lot more to consider first. Only hearing one side of a story does make things hard, but it sounds to me like he just isn't into you as much as you are or were into him. Lots of red flags and really, I question whether the guy is Dominant, or merely abusive - a dominant man should have no trouble being up front with anything. No names mentioned, so, my suggestion is - is this the guy you want to be with or not? If not, take a walk, if so, then take a long look at what you're expecting from him.

shazadidev -> RE: Update... (10/19/2007 11:02:52 AM)
My God, get past the pity party already. You were played, you played as well, it's over, it's done. Let it go. Now before you end up creating even more drama, go spend some time growing up a bit and learn that the world revolves around more than just you.

sweetestnettles -> RE: Update... (10/24/2007 12:01:22 AM)
why do people feel the need to be such aseholes to others posting, wanting advice? I suppose for the same reason there are aseholes in real life; some people just have a compulsion to make themselves feel superior to others.

MissMagnolia -> RE: Update... (10/24/2007 12:04:44 AM)
Exactly right, because we are arseholes and because we can.........................

wisteriaV -> RE: Update... (10/24/2007 5:11:20 AM)
Heres a scarry thought for you fi..everyone and I mean everyone will get played at some point in their lives..it will not please us nor will it feel good..you got dropped on your butt..stand up like a big girl, dust yourself off and move on..hell its not the end of the world!

TemptingNviceSub -> RE: Update... (10/24/2007 8:49:05 PM)
What more do I need to do? other than what I already know and have apologised for. What do you need to do!?...you need to stop this submissive frenzy bullsh** and get on with your life!..Do I feel sorry for you?..of course I do...Do I think you got a easy lesson learned?..again..of course I do....Any Dominant who says they do not want to meet you, (even with what sounds as reasonable excuses) is blowing huge smoke rings up your tush..If you are important enough to them, then they will meet with you.(of course this is barring any deception on their part)So is not wanting to meet you says what?..He's not that into you...He's already in another relationship..That he is only capable of Dominance on a cyber level..That you are a convenience and a toy until he finds another submissive he feels is more suitable...This relationship as MrD said has been doomed from practically its conception...You have no trust, no communication, no adult interaction..what is there to fight for?..nada...I think you have far worse problems to deal with..in other words you need to work on you first..know your wants, needs and desires and the difference thereof...learn how to communicate ...learn a level of self control..learn from this cyber experience and what to avoid..I am happy to see you have decided to take a break from searching for another Dominant..you need to first learn about yourself, then you need to read and grow and become a wee bit more savvy then you are right now...and please never become cyber collared again without first meeting the man..OY VEY!...Tempting

beargonewild -> RE: Update... (10/25/2007 7:51:28 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: submissfifi Well neither can I understand why I'm so emotionally involved. This is what all the problems have been about. I just thought thats how it had progressed. But its not the same for him. So this is why things have got to this stage. We have swapped lots of photos and seen each other on cam. I want to meet, he doesn't. He doesn't think I'm ready for him, and feels that the way I have behaved that he doesn't want to meet me. The fact I've behaved like this is because I'm frustrated and actually want to meet. In the meantime thats why his profile states still looking for that someone. What more do I need to do? other than what I already know and have apologised for. have you thought about this from another point of view? Knowing what you know now and imagine you were in a serious relationship with this Dom. Do you think that this would change for the better because of that? Do you want to be in a serious D/s relationship under this situation? The fact of the matter is there was grave errors in judgement made on both sides and what you want apparently isn't what he wants. Move on. Take this experience and learn from it. We all make poor judement calls on a person we had our heart set on wanting to be with and who turns out not to be our "dream" mate/SO/Dom/sub, etc. Probably the best thing you can do for yourself is to move forward with this knowledge to help guide you in making a more appropiate choice in the future.

batshalom -> RE: Update... (10/25/2007 9:40:52 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: submissfifi Thanks for the words of comfort. But why didn't I know these things, you reckon the two week no contact thing was because he never wanted me. Why is life this cruel? what did I do to deserve this? I gave him everything and he was laughing at me the whole time. Actually, probably not. He would have to care in order to laugh. You meant pretty much nothing to him. Sorry to be blunt. Learn from it. Don't commit to someone you don't see, and learn to trust your instincts about people. Onward and upward, eh? Now go eat some cookie dough and drink some wine - it will all be ok in a week. (Don't commit yourself again by the weekend, hey?)

akisha -> RE: Update... (10/25/2007 11:36:25 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: mistoferin quote: ORIGINAL: submissfifi What more do I need to do? Ummm....drop it and get on with your REAL life? Maybe you should ask yourself why it is that you would want to continue to try to get back a man(that you never really had in the first place) who has treated you like you are yesterday's trash. You should ask yourself why it is that you care so little about yourself. You should ask yourself why, instead of pursuing real life relationships you are chasing fantasy unicorns. You should ask yourself why it is that you are carrying on and on about something that doesn't even exist. erin already said exactly what I was thinking. Why are you bothering to continue with this, unless ofcourse you like the stress and drama. Some people seem to thrive on that kind of BS. I just don't get it I talked to one bisexually straight Dominant switch (depending which profile you read) on here briefly. When I realized he had multiple profiles and couldn't tell the truth if it killed him I blocked the profiles I knew and the ones he kept creating to message me with and ignored him. Pretty simple solution if you ask me. I don't see the point in letting a stranger upset me to that degree. In the OP's case, I would have walked the first time i was told there would be a wall of silence between us because of some stupid reason. But that's just me.

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