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how far would you take it? - 10/18/2007 10:23:35 AM

lilshortyslave

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What would You/you do if you were a sub/slave like myself, and you were ordered to dominate?
i told my Master that it went against everything i learnt and therefore i was whipped for not doing as i was told, is this fair?

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RE: how far would you take it? - 10/18/2007 10:33:21 AM

IamJustMe2C

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I am sorry you were put into that possition. If it were me personally It would NEVER happen. My slave/sub would never Top. she is in her element and is a sub/slave for a reason and I have no reason to ask her to do something so hanis as that. It would be the same thing as her telling me that she wanted me to be a sub/slave. It just would not happen. We are who we are. If he wants a switch then he needs to find a switch not a sub/slave.
A Master dosent submit a slave/sub dosent Top but a switch can do either so he has to find out what he wants and not punish you for being something that you are not.

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RE: how far would you take it? - 10/18/2007 10:33:40 AM

beargonewild

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WhenI was owned, yes my former Master did tell me to dominate/top another person he was playing with. I did balk as I was too uncomfortable to do so, yet I went ahead and obeyed.
It isn't for me to say whether he was fair or not in his method of correcting you when you didn't do as you're told. I may think it isn't fair, but the issue is simply your master punished you based upon how he saw fit pertaining to your relationship. For me to say it is or isn't is passing judgment I have no right to do. I think this is something you may want to discuss with him.

< Message edited by beargonewild -- 10/18/2007 10:34:28 AM >

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RE: how far would you take it? - 10/18/2007 10:39:54 AM

wendywoo

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So are you a sub or a slave?

Do you have safewords?

How long have you been in this relationship, and how deeply have you discussed your limits?

The punishment may be justified, or it may not, according to your situation.

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RE: how far would you take it? - 10/18/2007 10:56:54 AM

chellekitty

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Dominate or Top? there is a difference...i couldn't Dominate most people anymore than i could sprout wings and fly....
if requested or order i cold Top just about anyone...Topping is the action...Dominating is the mental...Topping when done at request or by order, i see as a service...and thats what i get off on, giving service...

as to whether it was fair or not...i have no clue....did you negotiate whether you would be punished or not and if you were how you would be punished and for what at the begining of the relationship? if not....perhaps now would be the time to call a time out to the power exchange and tell him you need to discuss punishment, as equals, before it happens again....

chelle

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RE: how far would you take it? - 10/18/2007 11:18:03 AM

toservez

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I am sorry but your question is so vague pretty much anything written is plausible.

What level is your power exchange relationship and/or at what stage? Dominate how?

We are who we are and not even as much as some not quite getting it dominants cannot change us in significant ways. So certainly if your dominant was wanting you to be dominant over another in a relationship type thing or even just in a scene but to be totally believable that is of course just unrealistic.

On the other hand if he just wanted you to top in a scene no matter how well you did it then it depends on your relationship and what you have agreed to. Certainly if you have a significant power exchange relationship a one time or occasional thing like this that may be difficult or gives you no enjoyment but your other it does is not really a bad thing he did just from an abstract point.

It is one thing to punish you for not being able to do it like it was a found limit. It would be another thing to punish you because you did not want to try or devote considerable effort in doing this just for him one time.

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RE: how far would you take it? - 10/18/2007 12:40:48 PM

Tigrita

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I can't answer fory you, it really depends on your dynamic, who each of you is and your motivations for being in the relationship. I'm a switch, but primarily desire to be dominated, then enjoy exerting dominance over others, not my dominant. He enjoys my strength and switchiness, likes me to struggle against him, likes to see me expressing my dominant side with others, lets me be sassy with him sometimes, but has told me that if I can ever top him then I deserve someone stronger and more dominant. If he ever wanted me to top him that would kill it for me, it isn't either of our personalities, it isn't a dynamic I signed on for. I'm not at all attracted to submissive men.

If it doesn't fit for you either, and it is something he needs, maybe you guys can talk about getting that need met for him in another way. Bring in a switch or a pro domme. You have needs to be satisfied in the relationship too, and if one of them is faith in his ultimate dominance over you, it is valid. Personally, I think being able to top someone I wanted to submit to would totally change how I see them and make me not feel submissive to them any more.

Edited to note that I read the OP as a request from the dominant for the sub to dominate/top him. This may not be the correct interpretation. Dunno.

< Message edited by Tigrita -- 10/18/2007 12:47:17 PM >

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RE: how far would you take it? - 10/18/2007 12:49:44 PM

DarkDaddyZ

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There are certain situations that I would have my slave assist in a situation that may require her to top, I wouldn't want her or him to "dominate" though.

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RE: how far would you take it? - 10/18/2007 12:55:45 PM

MrDiscipline44

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Was it fair that he punished you? Yeah, it was fair. You're his slave. He told you to do something (it wasn't illegal, immoral or insane) and you flatout disobeyed. Learn your lesson.

But I do want clearification like Chelle. Did he want you to top someone or to dominate them? There is a huge difference between them.

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RE: how far would you take it? - 10/18/2007 12:59:48 PM

RapierFugue

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quote:

ORIGINAL: lilshortyslave

What would You/you do if you were a sub/slave like myself, and you were ordered to dominate?
i told my Master that it went against everything i learnt and therefore i was whipped for not doing as i was told, is this fair?

No, it’s not fair.

Assuming this was your first offence, you should have got off with crucifixion.

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RE: how far would you take it? - 10/18/2007 1:50:25 PM

CreativeDominant

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Whether or not it "went against everything you learned" isn't really important. You were given an order to do something and you did not even try, you disobeyed. Not only disobeyed but fought doing it with your statements. If what he told you to do is not going outside your limits...sub or slave...and you still did not do it, then he has the right to punish you if punishment is part of your dynamic.

Fair or not? Only you can decide that in your mind. Keep in mind that something can be right...see the above paragraph...and still not be fair. But D/s is not always about being fair. If it needs to be for you, then I can only advise you to step back and take a look at what you really want from a D/s dynamic and then, if it is different from the one you are in now, ask to speak to your Master about it. If he refuses or won't listen or will not compromise his values and intended direction for you, then you have more decisions to make.

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RE: how far would you take it? - 10/18/2007 3:02:35 PM

Tigrita

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Ever consider communication before punishment? Not every limit can be defined by pen and paper going into a relationship. Perhaps this is a limit she did not realize she had or anticipate, or it is outside the realm of the relationship dynamic she thought she was agreeing to. It deserves to be discussed before the bridges of communication are torn down with a whip in my opinion. If something unanticipated comes up that is deeply emotionally destructive to someone and to the way they feel the relationship dynamic that they entered (based on that dynamic) it serves no one's interest to ignore or worse punish those reactions. That won't solve it. Communication is critical to keep it healthy.

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RE: how far would you take it? - 10/18/2007 4:40:29 PM

HeavansKeeper

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I've not yet discussed it with My Pet, but if we were to add another "toy" for the night (or longer) I'd wan the pecking order to be Me > My Pet > New Thing. I don't think I'd have My Pet try and dominate me, so this pertains solely to My Pet dominating a new member.

True, My Pet (as with most other submissives) don't get much training in the art and science of domination, but I would expect my orders to stand. I would be extremely clear in my orders. I rarely, if ever, inspire her to repeat stock answers or follow my orders like a robot. I like her to take my commands and do them with some wonderment sprinkled about. When she is new to a task I give her every last bit of information she'd ever need. It would take months, maybe years, for My Pet to not need very precise orders. I would essentially be dominating New Thing (That's his or her name, now) by proxy. "She gave an awfully rude response, My Pet. Spit on her cheek and slap her across the face." It would still be fun, but technically My Pet is not dominating New Thing. I'm simply delegating.

Would I punish My Pet for not following an order that involved disciplining a (consenual) third party? Yes. Again, I'd be patient, as she is an novice in domination, but over time I would become less tolerant of lag. The same is true of all disciplines I require.

Returning to my previous statement: "I don't think I'd have My Pet try and dominate me" I believe some people can be switches and some cannot. Particularly in 24-7 relationships, switching changes a lot of things. It isn't abnormal for a dominant to have some manner of interest in submission, but there are ways to deal with that without making anyone a victim.

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RE: how far would you take it? - 10/18/2007 6:40:52 PM

ownedgirlie

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I can't really address the issue of "fair" since whether or not I see something as "fair" in my slavery to my Master is inconsequential to me. Lots of things are unfair. But in the big scheme of things the relationship thrives and I thrive in it, so I can deal with unfairness.

As others have said, there are too many unknowns in your OP to really give your question an educated answer. In my own experience, my Master did want me to dominate another - a male submissive - and I did so, with his direction. It was very awkward at first, and then it wasn't, in fact it came to feel quite natural.

There are many things I have had to learn in my slavery to him that were awkward and uncomfortable. My slavery to him is important enough to me to do so. Others may have legitimate reasons to feel differently, and that may be the case with you. The real crux of it, though, is that you need to be asking him about it.

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RE: how far would you take it? - 10/18/2007 10:16:34 PM

LuckyAlbatross

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Was it understood before you made the commitment to eachother that ordering you to dominate him MIGHT be part of the relationship?

If not, then there are serious problems and I would consider the punishment invalidated.

If so, then yeah, he punished you and that's no problem. I don't know that it will really get him the result he wants, but you're his property to fuck up, not mine.

Now, if he's punished you for doing a sucky job at it when he hadn't trained you for it, then I'd also have a problem with the punishment, but you flat out refused so that's not the issue.

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RE: how far would you take it? - 10/19/2007 3:16:49 AM

Focus50

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Well I'd never ask that of my sub/slave because it's a betrayal of our relationship dynamic and a denial of who she is within it. Much the same red flag as ordering her to jump in front of a freight train, as far as I'm concerned....

And to get whipped for it (as in punishment?) is even further betrayal. If I were you, I'd be thinking it to be relationship terminating behaviour....

Focus.

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RE: how far would you take it? - 10/19/2007 4:42:57 AM

TNstepsout

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I agree your description is a bit vague. It kind of depends on what the actual instruction was. If he brought a new girl into the room and said "Hey lil, C'mere, I want you to dominate her". Well then I would say it's a bit unfair. That is not specific enough and you might not know how to do it, or what he really expects.

However, if he led the girl into the room and said, "Hey, lil, c'mere. I want you to put on her collar and restraints and then lead her over to the cross and put her face down on the cross restrained wrists and ankles and then put a blindfold on her", then it would be a perfectly reasonable instruction.

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RE: how far would you take it? - 10/19/2007 4:51:13 AM

MissMagnolia

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Given your website photo's, it doesn't appear that you have many hard limits. Maybe your master felt justified in expecting you to do anything he says and justified in whipping you for refusing him.

OOPS, edited to add that you are a slave. I expect my slave to do whatever I say, whether he likes it or not. But hey, that's me.

< Message edited by MissMagnolia -- 10/19/2007 5:01:21 AM >

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RE: how far would you take it? - 10/19/2007 5:01:48 AM

footpuppyslave

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quote:

ORIGINAL: lilshortyslave

What would You/you do if you were a sub/slave like myself, and you were ordered to dominate?
i told my Master that it went against everything i learnt and therefore i was whipped for not doing as i was told, is this fair?

ok i am lost here.
did master ask you to top him or someone else?

if he wanted you to top him i can see the moral conflict but if he gave you a sub boy or girl to top then there is no need to submit to them so topping is easy.

but each person is different example if my Mistress gave me a woman to top i cant because it is not in my nature to do so.

but if he wanted you to top i think that he should have talked to you and then guided you but be understanding . a top a Dom or Domme can handle things in many ways some kind orthers tuff and ruff.
but if i was a top and in this case i am not i would not whip my sub for not topping when asked or ordered i would find out why they cant and try to be understanding and guide on the right path.

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RE: how far would you take it? - 10/19/2007 5:06:47 AM

master218711

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If you are a slave then suck it up and take it. You have three choices. do it, don't do it and take the punishment, or leave. If you are a submissive, was this something that you discussed at the start of your submitting to him? if not then it needs to be talked about and the punishment was unfair. Even thou my slave is a slave, when she expressed an interest in Domming other females and males (she knows she could never hope to do this to me and I would never submit to anyone) I let her try it. she found that she liked Domming other females but does not have it in her to Domme other males. It is not in her make up to do it.

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