RE: Red Flags list.

RE: Red Flags list. (Full Version)

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domiguy -> RE: Red Flags list. (10/20/2007 5:44:07 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: PryderiLoup Oh, yeah. I never meant to imply that this was inclusive. Personally, if he shows up at Olive Garden with a running chain saw in one hand and a severed head in the other, I would call that a red flag. But I didn't think it needed to be included. The most glaring red flags would be if the words "Olive Garden" or "Red Lobster" ever come out of your Dom's mouth it is best to get the fuck away from the guy as quickly as possible.

IrishMist -> RE: Red Flags list. (10/20/2007 5:53:03 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MrDiscipline44 I find alot of the flags to be crap. Some of them to be common sense. All in all, any noob needs to take this list with a grain of salt. ditto

KnightofMists -> RE: Red Flags list. (10/20/2007 6:17:30 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: PryderiLoup I got this from a friends journal. I think it might be a good thing for some of the newer submissives to consider. I don't agree with all of them, there is one about reading all your communications that made me chuckle. I decided to paste it in it's entirety and let each person decide if the flag is valide or not. there is one flag missing from what I can tell 44) Picture of ME.... avoid people that look like him

Squeakers -> RE: Red Flags list. (10/20/2007 6:59:25 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: UsemeinTexas The Master that I just left would beat me while playing until I had large welts that would be purple bruises the next day. If he thought I needed punishment he would cane me until I bled. He refused to acknowledge the bruises or the wounds. He said I was whinning and complaining when I mentioned them at all and I would get punished again. I fainted twice from these harsh punishments. I left him soon after the second fainting. What I want to know is this: When you leave bruises on your property, is it ok for that person(property) to mention it ? If the bruises are shocking and severe is it ok to mention them once or more than once on separate days? You've only 'mentioned' this numerous times now. I bruise very easily and I have had marks that have lasted for weeks---I comment often on them because I love having his mark. As for if it is okay---I guess that depends on the Dom. Is it complaining? That depends since it has been 'mentioned over and over it does sound like a whine and even though I am not a Dom, I could understand where someone would get annoyed. If it is that much of a problem for you---stick it on a hard limits list---no brusies. And make sure he that he is aware that 'if' you get bruised you must be allowed to bring it up ten times a day or more often.

KiandPhoenix -> RE: Red Flags list. (10/20/2007 3:18:37 PM)
I agree with almost all of them except quote: 7) Only communicates with you at strange hours and gets mad if you try to contact them at other times. We are day sleepers, and I think most of the times we are available to communicate are thought of as strange hours. Even the time we are most available from days off are strange. ~Ki

Alumbrado -> RE: Red Flags list. (10/20/2007 3:26:16 PM)
Several good ones several obvious ones, and several that may or may not actually be red flags... it should be noted that some of these assume that the sub is perfect.

lusciouslips19 -> RE: Red Flags list. (10/20/2007 3:29:32 PM)
Heres another one. He says he's single but when you talk of overnight with him he say "he values his sleep and thrashes around so he has to sleep alone"!!! Yea, like any red blooded man values sleep over sex! This statement was used on me twice. I said Bye bye.

lusciouslips19 -> RE: Red Flags list. (10/20/2007 3:35:01 PM)
I was told by a Dominant never to be with someone who has nothing to lose. So if he doesnt have a job. he has nothing to lose .

Guilty1974 -> RE: Red Flags list. (10/21/2007 1:23:54 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: PryderiLoup 6) Does not give you their home and work phone number at the appropriate time. And who the fck decides what time is appropriate. Not even my girlfriend (who I live with) and my parents have my work phone number. If they need me, the can call my cell phone. Lists such as these are nice, but every relationship is different. Only combinations of red flags such as these in a specific context can give you the idea that something might* be wrong. The individual items are completely meaningless.

MissMagnolia -> RE: Red Flags list. (10/21/2007 1:26:02 AM)
A male sub/slave who can't stay out too late because his Mum worries (YES, actually happened to me, LOL!!)

Guilty1974 -> RE: Red Flags list. (10/21/2007 1:27:27 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19 I was told by a Dominant never to be with someone who has nothing to lose. So if he doesnt have a job. he has nothing to lose . So you rule out not only the unemployed but also many of the chronically ill.Way to go...

MissMagnolia -> RE: Red Flags list. (10/21/2007 1:35:45 AM)
Have you been drinking the bong water guilty? Sheesh, it's not a personal vendetta. Others are allowed opinions without being pounced on because you don't like them. [8\|]

laurell3 -> RE: Red Flags list. (10/21/2007 5:09:34 AM)
Heh, 5 or 6 of these red flags I would definitely qualify for depending on when in the initial conversation phase the people ask these things. Some are obviously never a good sign, but others, not necessarily an indication of anything.

Guilty1974 -> RE: Red Flags list. (10/21/2007 7:23:31 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MissMagnolia Others are allowed opinions And so am I (but at least I now know wat bong water is [:'(])

lusciouslips19 -> RE: Red Flags list. (10/21/2007 7:30:11 AM)
What I have found in my short period on this more ethical site is a Good and decent ethical Master checks in on his subs bruises and keeps an eye on her. My most recent playdates the Dominants were very good men that contacted me repeatedly to see how my bruises and emotions from the experience were doing. Classy very classy. Thast what I go for.

lusciouslips19 -> RE: Red Flags list. (10/21/2007 7:37:04 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Guilty1974 quote: ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19 I was told by a Dominant never to be with someone who has nothing to lose. So if he doesnt have a job. he has nothing to lose . So you rule out not only the unemployed but also many of the chronically ill.Way to go... Well, after threats of being outed at my job by a Dominant with an anger management problem who was living on a year long severance package. he had no jobof his own to fear losing, so yes...better safe than sorry. As far as the chronically ill, i wish them well but they can not protect me if they are always sick. Sorry if this bothers you but I guess we just dont see eye to eye on this.

MstrDennynSlave -> RE: Red Flags list. (10/21/2007 8:00:37 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19 quote: ORIGINAL: Guilty1974 quote: ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19 I was told by a Dominant never to be with someone who has nothing to lose. So if he doesnt have a job. he has nothing to lose . So you rule out not only the unemployed but also many of the chronically ill.Way to go... Well, after threats of being outed at my job by a Dominant with an anger management problem who was living on a year long severance package. he had no jobof his own to fear losing, so yes...better safe than sorry. As far as the chronically ill, i wish them well but they can not protect me if they are always sick. Sorry if this bothers you but I guess we just dont see eye to eye on this. A chronic illness does not mean being disabled. A chronic illness can be diabetes, high blood pressure, bronchitis, or any host of other illnesses. With any of these mentioned, a dom/me can still protect his/her sub/slave without any problems what so ever.

bipolarber -> RE: Red Flags list. (10/21/2007 8:26:11 AM)
To quote "Pirates of the Caribean" ... they're more like guidelines rather than actual rules... I have to chime in on the "bad relationships" with family point. I don't know about you guys, but BECAUSE I'm into BDSM, my family is kept at arms' length. I still love 'em, but they don't seem too keen on having a pervert in the fold. Oh, yeah, and you might add: #) keeps "Grays Anatomy" next to the "Joy of Cooking" on their bookshelf... or #) keeps asking you to "dig a new foundation" down in his crawlspace. or... #) has an unusual amount of quick lime and heavy duty trash bags out in the garage.... #) profile mentions "likes wearing masks" and it turns out to be a hockey mask.

RedMagic1 -> RE: Red Flags list. (10/21/2007 8:43:01 AM)
I agree that the pointers on the list are a good place to start, but there is no substitute for common sense. This is true for a Dom looking for a sub too, of course. Shifting the topic a bit, to (at least this) man's perspective, when I first joined CollarMe, I wasted a lot of time allowing myself to be chatted up by people who were professionals at trying to extract money out of "Johns" on this site. I did a fair amount of research on anti-scam sites, and between that and personal experience, I have put together a list that I've shared with a couple people on how to recognize pro-scam profiles and chatters as quickly as possible. I'm now meeting one new woman, in person, a month, and being offered phone numbers, etc., on line. Still no girlfriend/partner/specialsub, but the results are dramatically different (i.e. better)! I decided to post about this now, because I'm seeing an increase in "this person is a scammer/fake" profiles, so there seems to be rising anger about this here. I guess it would defeat the purpose to put the list up on a message board, but if you are interested, please feel free to mail me, and I'll send you the info and a couple links. You might be interested to know that one expert guesses that about 90% (!!) of the profiles of women on Yahoo Personals are fake. If that is even close to true, CollarMe is doing a great job, and I'm definitely glad to be here.

DiurnalVampire -> RE: Red Flags list. (10/21/2007 8:49:05 AM)
I disagree with a few of the flags, and I resemble some of those remarks. It is a good starting point, though some of them are more of if a person is a good PERSON and not so much a good Dominant. The thing that worries me more than a list of flags is the idea of some newbie using it as a checklist and if nothing on there is checked, they are good to go. Red flags are just the BLINDING reminders that something is off. If you get a feeling something is awry, trust your instincts. Better safe than sorry DV DV

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