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RE: The arguments that will not die - 10/19/2007 12:42:15 PM   
CuriousLord


Posts: 3911
Joined: 4/3/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: catize
What is it about this place that keeps you coming back?


Probably seeing relationships, the D/s type that I had empathized with more than the vanilla type which I'm used to seeing others in.

Still, the charm and novelty wears off.  I'm realize, more and more, that I'm not really like most here.  That, and I've started attending these seminars given by post-grads, and find a lot more stimulation there, so I guess I'm drifting away from here.  I guess this place is still more convenient.

So many of the debates you mentioned, while tired and cliche, carry the even more damning quality of being arguments over instances of arbitrary nomenclature, perhaps most clearly exemplified in the "sub vs. slave" 'debate'.

(in reply to catize)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: The arguments that will not die - 10/19/2007 1:32:54 PM   
IronDuke99


Posts: 5
Joined: 10/19/2007
Status: offline 		New people will always come back to the same, often discussed, but still important topics. I don't think it is at all possible to keep coming up with new topics all the time.

_____________________________

The thing about life is that no one gets out alive...

(in reply to SweetSarijane)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: The arguments that will not die - 10/19/2007 1:59:00 PM   
MzMia


Posts: 5333
Joined: 7/30/2004
Status: offline 		I have been on this site for 3 1/2 years.

For over 2 years I just lurked and did not bother to post.
I started posting last December, and I love the boards.
I log onto CollarMe, usually every day and I always read a few threads.
At the most, I might read half of 10% of the threads on here, because many of
the topics don't interest me.
There are always going to be topics that are repeated often, that is just part of the game.
Why bother reading threads that are boring or repetitious?
There are a few regular people here that always find it necessary to complain or mention
that the topic has been asked 10,000 times before.
I never have felt the need to make that comment, as I don't feel the need to read or respond to most of what is written on the message boards.
But ya know what?
I love the hell out of this place.

< Message edited by MzMia -- 10/19/2007 2:04:10 PM >

_____________________________

Namaste'
To Each His/Her Own
"DENIAL ain't just a river in Egypt." Mark Twain


What's your favorite fetish?
"My partner's whisper"--bloomswell

(in reply to catize)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: The arguments that will not die - 10/19/2007 2:14:57 PM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: catize

All of the above is what is interesting to me, makes me want to check in daily to read and think.  What is it about this place that keeps you coming back?


First... great post catize... I can relate and agree with much of what you shared... Nice to see that you are taking a postive spin on it.

My life is an extremely busy one.  Community involvement is always has been secondary to so many other responsibilities and with my move further away from any active community... it is even more difficult.  The forums allow me to keep a more regular contact with people of the lifestyle on my time schedule.  The following weekend I will be attending my third major event this year.  Besides that, I have believe their has only been a few other evenings that I have been able to enjoy time with lifestyle individuals.  However, the forums also give a completely different taste on things than is gained in events, munches, parties etc.   The forums are very much more an intelletual exercise than anything else.  Reading and exchange thoughts with others on the forums is a great way to see different perspectives of different issues.  Seldom has my opinion changed significantly... but it sure has changed and boardened to a degree.  The changes are not from just long-time lifestylers either or individuals that I particular have admiration and respect for.  It has occur from a variety of people in all the varies boxes you could possibly label. 

Another aspect to the forums is the conversations that is generates between myself and the girls.  We have had most of them... but between the three of us... we watch the boards and there is always something that catches the eye of one of us for a conversation.... even if the conversation lasts only a few minutes. 



_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to catize)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: The arguments that will not die - 10/19/2007 2:43:45 PM   
ExSteelAgain


Posts: 1803
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Georgia
Status: offline 		I come because I like being around those of the opposite sex on the opposite end of the D/s spectrum. I want to read their thoughts and have them read mine. I want to impress female submissives? Honest enough for ya?

I also like reading posters who always write in illuminating, shrewd and hilarious styles while spreading a little rationality such as Catize, Velvet Tears, Lucky Albatross, Domniguy and Simply Michael….oh..and ChainedExistence :)  (There are others that don’t come to mind now.)

_____________________________

You can paint a cinder block bright pastel pink, but it's still a cinder block. (By Me.)

(in reply to catize)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: The arguments that will not die - 10/19/2007 2:58:02 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		People repeat topics?

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to ExSteelAgain)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: The arguments that will not die - 10/19/2007 3:24:49 PM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

People repeat topics?


yeah... but it really not much of a problem if you have a short memory

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: The arguments that will not die - 10/19/2007 3:47:27 PM   
subtee


Posts: 5133
Joined: 7/26/2007
Status: offline
quote:

What is it about this place that keeps you coming back?

 
The hotties. Oh, and all that other cool stuff Catize said. That too.

(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: The arguments that will not die - 10/19/2007 3:59:48 PM   
heartcream


Posts: 3044
Joined: 5/9/2007
From: Psychoalphadiscobetabioaquadoloop
Status: offline 		Thank you catize, your post is really well written. I like coming here to learn and read and the sense I can get about people. I like how folks personality, hearts and brains shows through.

At times what I read thoroughly shocks/horrorfies me and sometimes it makes me really laugh. I have had many more responses too.

Along with folks being told the topic they brought up was already discussed is if someone might drag up an old thread to continue a discussion --that isnt well rec'd either at times.


(in reply to subtee)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: The arguments that will not die - 10/19/2007 4:02:51 PM   
MzMia


Posts: 5333
Joined: 7/30/2004
Status: offline 		LA, I love some of the topics that are repeated.
I am hoping for some variation of one of my favorites: overweight women, overweight people,
Fat Dominants or fat submissives.

Someone please start a thread about overweight people, soon.
Please!

* I also enjoy the threads on financial domination, fake people and why can't I get anyone, also!
peat and repeat, damn life is good.
I love this place

< Message edited by MzMia -- 10/19/2007 4:06:47 PM >

_____________________________

Namaste'
To Each His/Her Own
"DENIAL ain't just a river in Egypt." Mark Twain


What's your favorite fetish?
"My partner's whisper"--bloomswell

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: The arguments that will not die - 10/19/2007 4:21:02 PM   
ELUSIVE1


Posts: 536
Joined: 9/11/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: catize

Submissive versus slave, punishment, limits/no limits; thread topics that get repeated over and over.  Safe words, who is ‘fake’, definitions of BDSM; we are or are not better at relationships than vanilla, and off we go. 
Page after page opinions are repeated, clichés are espoused as if they are actual facts, “what ifs” become the basis of an argument.  Many times I peruse the thread captions and can predict how long it will run, where it will bog down and deteriorate and fade out, only to be restarted a week later by a different person.
No, this is not a rant, (maybe more of a ramble).
I have been on other forums.   One was a small group of people and we all pretty much agreed on everything; we fizzled out because there isn’t much to learn from those who already share your point of view. 
What I want to say here is that, despite the fact that certain ‘debates’ get very tiresome, I have learned some things.
Certain topics, certain posters, push my ‘hot buttons’.  Some of you have been excellent models for me in the way you are able to thoughtfully respond without deriding the person you disagree with.   I am better able to avoid giving knee jerk responses.  Some of you have shared snippets of your lives so vividly that I can catch a glimpse of your days and a better understanding and appreciation for the unique structure of each relationship.   And I am always grateful to any of you who make me smile and laugh. 
Almost everyone who has posted here has, at one time or another said something that was meaningful to me.  I have seldom changed my mind regarding a topic as it pertains to my own life, but many of you have used words in a way that made me catch a glimpse of your side of any given issue, gave me the ability to wrap my head around a different perspective, made me pause long enough to reflect on what it is I hold as true for myself.
And at last, my point; in all the redundant and rehashed themes, there are the occasional gems to be read and savored.  The surprises; someone who is usually abrasive will write an empathetic response; the jokester gives a serious opinion, someone I never agree with says something that I view the same.  I find comfort in shared experiences.  I (sometimes) find growth when a post takes me out of my comfort zone.  
All of the above is what is interesting to me, makes me want to check in daily to read and think.  What is it about this place that keeps you coming back?
not to seem'boring'or trying to'fizzle out' but yes I agree--I point newbies to these forums and those on b.com--interesting subjects and points of view come up all the time

_____________________________

"Words have no power to impress the mind without the exquisite horror of their reality"

*Poe
http://alt.com/blog/ELUSIVE1NC
http://users.adultspace.com/ELUSIVE1NC/


(in reply to catize)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: The arguments that will not die - 10/19/2007 4:23:50 PM   
DarkDaddyZ


Posts: 805
Joined: 4/7/2006
Status: offline 		I come for the recipes!

_____________________________

"Flirting is part of the job description." DJ Jesus (Lucy Daughter Of The Devil)

Vanilla Official Music Page http://www.myspace.com/djzulu

(in reply to ELUSIVE1)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: The arguments that will not die - 10/19/2007 4:34:43 PM   
SweetSarijane


Posts: 3788
Joined: 10/7/2005
From: KC area Missouri
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: IronDuke99

New people will always come back to the same, often discussed, but still important topics. I don't think it is at all possible to keep coming up with new topics all the time.


I agree and have seen it time and time again. I really don't think any of the long time forum members expect new topics all the time and I certainly don't, hence why I periodically take breaks. It's an unrealistic expectation. What I do see is that it's a certain few topics continually rehashed that will tend to frustrate some long term members. There are many topics under the umbrella that very rarely ever get brought up or die out quickly when they do. Some are excellent topics too, but just don't stir the interest like the certain few do.

_____________________________

Sarah2
Deviant Mind
Wild Side Readers KCSass

(in reply to IronDuke99)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: The arguments that will not die - 10/19/2007 5:17:02 PM   
catize


Posts: 3020
Joined: 3/7/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

People repeat topics?

Ha, I bet you typed that with a straight face!


_____________________________

"Power is real. But it's a lot less real if it's not perceived as power."
Robert Parker, Stranger in Paradise

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: The arguments that will not die - 10/19/2007 5:19:13 PM   
catize


Posts: 3020
Joined: 3/7/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

People repeat topics?


yeah... but it really not much of a problem if you have a short memory


Or, as the late, great Yogi Berra said, "This is like deja vu all over again."

_____________________________

"Power is real. But it's a lot less real if it's not perceived as power."
Robert Parker, Stranger in Paradise

(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: The arguments that will not die - 10/19/2007 5:24:32 PM   
catize


Posts: 3020
Joined: 3/7/2006
Status: offline
quote:

 Honest enough for ya? 


Well of course I expected honesty!  Aren't we MORE honest than any other group of people on this planet?  You do know about that magical BDSM honorable pixie dust,  right?

_____________________________

"Power is real. But it's a lot less real if it's not perceived as power."
Robert Parker, Stranger in Paradise

(in reply to ExSteelAgain)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: The arguments that will not die - 10/19/2007 5:27:41 PM   
catize


Posts: 3020
Joined: 3/7/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkDaddyZ

I come for the recipes!


Ingredients: 
1 dominant
1 submissive
1 protector/mentor
Oh, wait............wrong thread!


_____________________________

"Power is real. But it's a lot less real if it's not perceived as power."
Robert Parker, Stranger in Paradise

(in reply to DarkDaddyZ)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: The arguments that will not die - 10/19/2007 5:40:01 PM   
slavegirljoy


Posts: 1207
Joined: 11/6/2006
From: North Carolina, USA
Status: offline 		One reason why i come back, is in hope of finding a great post, like this one, catize.  Another reason is to read the various views, opinions and, experiences of other people, who enjoy BDSM in their lives.  Also, to share my own views, opinions and, experiences with others.
 
One thing that has always made me scratch my head, though, is why some people get so annoyed when a topic is brought up more than once.  It's as though, once a topic has been discussed here, however many times in the past, that it is not supposed to be revisited ever again or, at least not for a certain amount of time.  And, it seems to me, the only topics that cause this criticism are BDSM topics.  Other topics don't seem to generate the same negative comments like, "Not this again." or, "How many times are we going to beat this dead horse?", and so on.  i don't see those same critical remarks made about threads on issues of politics, religion, or war, even though these topics have been discussed over and over again, also.  No one ever seems to get bothered by new discussions of these same, age-old topics.
 
BDSM isn't something that is static and, once commented on, remains the same.  It is evolving, just like everything else in life.  Things change and, if there is a question or an interest in some area of BDSM, why should we have to go to the reference library and read up on what was said in posts from a year or more ago, just because it has been discussed before?  i didn't think that this site was merely a dusty, old library for historical research only.  i thought this was a site for vibrant, ongoing, current discussions about BDSM-related topics, even those that have been going on for a very long time and, continue to go on because that is what we do. 
 
The topics may not be new ones but, the ideas and views expressed are new.  Life isn't static, people aren't static, people come and go, new experiences bring new perspectives, new questions and ideas are generated, even about age-old topics like, the difference between a sub and a slave or, whether a collar is like a ring.  So, why shouldn't they be revisited?  After all, if you feel as though you have already heard it or, read it all before and you don't need to read it again, you don't have to open that thread.  There's no requirement that says, just because a new thread is posted that you have to look at it, read it or, comment on it. 

It also seems to me that a lot of potential for sharing of ideas and gaining insight into the various ways that different people live this BDSM way of life is lost when a good post goes bad because of the criticism that takes over just because someone dares to use any of the 'forbidden' words like, 'true' or 'real' or, when someone mentions one of the 'taboo' topics of 'trainers', 'under consideration' and, such or, when someone fails to follow the 'official CM book of proper grammar and writing style'.  It's always a shame, to me, when i go to a thread that sounds interesting and discover that it's filled with a bunch of bickering and nitpicking over things that aren't even related to the subject of the OP.  That gets real (whoops, i mean very) tiring.
 
slave joy
Owned property of Master David

(in reply to catize)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: The arguments that will not die - 10/19/2007 5:41:22 PM   
dragonslave77


Posts: 32
Joined: 8/8/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ExSteelAgain

I also like reading posters who always write in illuminating, shrewd and hilarious styles while spreading a little rationality such as Catize, Velvet Tears, Lucky Albatross, Domniguy and Simply Michael….oh..and ChainedExistence :)  (There are others that don’t come to mind now.)


Chia the pet has to rank up there as one of the better (if not best) posters. His post recently in a thread about daily rituals (I think it was in "ask a Mistress") had me rolling on the floor.

(in reply to ExSteelAgain)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: The arguments that will not die - 10/19/2007 5:42:27 PM   
CuriousLord


Posts: 3911
Joined: 4/3/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: catize
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

People repeat topics?

Ha, I bet you typed that with a straight face!


People repeat topics?

(in reply to catize)
Profile   Post #: 40
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