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RE: is this complaining ? - 10/19/2007 1:36:57 PM   
SyrRope


Posts: 1
Joined: 10/19/2007
Status: offline 		I believe an easy way to do this regardless of your motivation (whining, praising, showing off) is to say, 'Syr/Sir, may i talk to you about my bruises?' 

I want to see my handiwork and sometimes I forget to look.

(in reply to Shawn1066)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: is this complaining ? - 10/19/2007 2:14:55 PM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline 		If you are not accustomed to receiving bruises and welts on your body, it can be pretty scary to look at, at first, and a bit disconcerting.  I used to stare at my bruises all the time and wonder just how bad the damage was underneath my skin to have caused all of that!

As time goes on, the markings tend to become not only easier to see on your body, but delightful, too.  A dominant who is experienced in marking a submissive will likely already know there isn't any serious injury due to basic striking with various implements, and may find it frustrating to get daily worried reports about what color it is, or if it's still hard and lumpy, or if it is tender or not when you touch it.  While it all might be fascinating and intimidating to you (I know my OCD had me checking them all the time), unless you are in serious pain it is very likely they will fade away and no harm is done. 

Enjoy them if you can.  Try to look at them as reminders of you and your dominant connecting in the bond you are creating and enjoying together.  If you are truly concerned about them, ask him if you can talk to him about them, but expressing a concern once is adequate, unless he is hard of hearing, or had serious memory or ADD issues... :)

I had to learn that in the early days with my Master.  "I heard you the first time, slut.  Telling me again and again is nagging."  It was hard to hear, but a good lesson for me to learn.


(in reply to UsemeinTexas)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: is this complaining ? - 10/19/2007 2:22:47 PM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: UsemeinTexas

when is mentioning the bruises and welts recieved during a session  considered complaining? If I tell my Master that he has caused deep bruises or welts , shoule I keep him updated on the condition of the deep bruises and/or welts, or should I only mention it once? Is mentioning it once considered complaining when I only want to make sure he knows that he has hurt me?


What the hell does your Master think?

What we think is rather pointless.

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to UsemeinTexas)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: is this complaining ? - 10/19/2007 2:29:59 PM   
CreativeDominant


Posts: 11032
Joined: 3/11/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

Did you ever think that maybe I like demons running all up inside me? lmao

Seriously, that statement had to rank up in the top 10 most ridiculous things I have ever seen on collarme.


ACtually mist...you have to have some heaven running all up inside you...I recommend either Me or Rocky Mountain Oysters. 

(in reply to mistoferin)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: is this complaining ? - 10/19/2007 3:17:31 PM   
UsemeinTexas


Posts: 23
Joined: 12/13/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Rule

Your master is responsible for your health and protection, especially since you are a slave. That is not to say that he cannot torture you (in your interest), but he may do so only when you are ready to release all responsibility to him - and to be able to do that, you must feel confident that he is capable of accepting that full responsibility.
 
I get the impression that he is not capable at the moment. In that case he may not be for you. You are to be used as a slave, not to be abused to no purpose. Perhaps he will see the light yet?
 
In any case you ought to have posed the question to your master. You obey him and it is his decision how you should behave.


I did ask my master ,I wanted other masters opinions.

(in reply to Rule)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: is this complaining ? - 10/19/2007 3:22:09 PM   
UsemeinTexas


Posts: 23
Joined: 12/13/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Rule

Speaking purely from the point of view of a theoretician without any experience:
 
According to theory and testimonies, the purpose of torturing a natural slave (not a submissive) is to murder a part of her mind. Caution: That does not work in someone who is not a natural slave, nor in a natural slave that cannot rely on her owner to be responsible for her.
 
It is an ugly business, but a sadist may be up to it. It should be done right the first time, if possible, for it will indeed cause mental damage if not successful - as the hurt part of the mind then does not die, but survives. Another caution therefore: one should not attempt to achieve this if one has not been taught how to do it and if one is not prepared to accept the full consequences and the full responsibility for the creature that results.

YOU SCARE THE HELL OUT OF ME!!

(in reply to Rule)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: is this complaining ? - 10/19/2007 3:27:25 PM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: UsemeinTexas
I did ask my master ,I wanted other masters opinions.


so.... does that mean you didn't like or agree with your Master's opinion?

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to UsemeinTexas)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: is this complaining ? - 10/19/2007 3:28:28 PM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: UsemeinTexas
YOU SCARE THE HELL OUT OF ME!!


What... alittle BS scares you?

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to UsemeinTexas)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: is this complaining ? - 10/19/2007 3:32:24 PM   
UsemeinTexas


Posts: 23
Joined: 12/13/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie

If you are not accustomed to receiving bruises and welts on your body, it can be pretty scary to look at, at first, and a bit disconcerting.  I used to stare at my bruises all the time and wonder just how bad the damage was underneath my skin to have caused all of that!

As time goes on, the markings tend to become not only easier to see on your body, but delightful, too.  A dominant who is experienced in marking a submissive will likely already know there isn't any serious injury due to basic striking with various implements, and may find it frustrating to get daily worried reports about what color it is, or if it's still hard and lumpy, or if it is tender or not when you touch it.  While it all might be fascinating and intimidating to you (I know my OCD had me checking them all the time), unless you are in serious pain it is very likely they will fade away and no harm is done. 

Enjoy them if you can.  Try to look at them as reminders of you and your dominant connecting in the bond you are creating and enjoying together.  If you are truly concerned about them, ask him if you can talk to him about them, but expressing a concern once is adequate, unless he is hard of hearing, or had serious memory or ADD issues... :)

I had to learn that in the early days with my Master.  "I heard you the first time, slut.  Telling me again and again is nagging."  It was hard to hear, but a good lesson for me to learn.



THANK YOU ! THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT I WANTED TO KNOW! HUGS YOU!!!

(in reply to ownedgirlie)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: is this complaining ? - 10/19/2007 3:35:03 PM   
UsemeinTexas


Posts: 23
Joined: 12/13/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

quote:

ORIGINAL: UsemeinTexas
I did ask my master ,I wanted other masters opinions.


so.... does that mean you didn't like or agree with your Master's opinion?

NO that means he TOLD  me to ask other Masters when I didnt understand his point of view!!

(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: is this complaining ? - 10/19/2007 3:36:27 PM   
UsemeinTexas


Posts: 23
Joined: 12/13/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

quote:

ORIGINAL: UsemeinTexas
YOU SCARE THE HELL OUT OF ME!!


What... alittle BS scares you?

NO BS AS IN BULL SHIT DOES NOT SCARE ME, BUT MURDER DOES!

(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: is this complaining ? - 10/19/2007 3:41:07 PM   
UsemeinTexas


Posts: 23
Joined: 12/13/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

quote:

ORIGINAL: UsemeinTexas




What the hell does your Master think?

What we think is rather pointless.


YOU ARE RIGHT ABOUT ONE THING, KNIGHTOFMISTS, WHAT YOU THINK IS RATHER POINTLESS!!

(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: is this complaining ? - 10/19/2007 4:36:30 PM   
adoracat


Posts: 1779
Joined: 2/16/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: UsemeinTexas

quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

quote:

ORIGINAL: UsemeinTexas
I did ask my master ,I wanted other masters opinions.


so.... does that mean you didn't like or agree with your Master's opinion?

NO that means he TOLD  me to ask other Masters when I didnt understand his point of view!!


dear....

you left this out of your original, and subsequent posts.  we arent mind readers, and so we cannot know what you are seeking if you dont give the circumstance which lead to the question.

example:  Daddy and i were discussing tattoos long ago, and he had some designs he liked which i knew my husband would have fits over.  Daddy was angry that i would allow wolf veto power, but what he didnt know is that *i* have veto power over wolf's ink because i have to look at it.  once he knew that bit of information, though, his anger vanished, and he apologised to me.

how can anyone make a qualified guess if they dont know the whole of the situation?

kitten, propped up and hurting....

(in reply to UsemeinTexas)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: is this complaining ? - 10/19/2007 7:58:58 PM   
Celeste43


Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
Status: offline 		Depends on your relationship. If he's leaving obvious welts in places visible so that you could lose your job, or your mother is trying to get you to go to a battered woman's shelter, then he should not be doing this. If your injuries are preventing you from taking care of yourself, or your family, or causing you to not be able to keep your job he's definitely out of line.

It also depends on whether or not you agreed to have severe injuries or if he promised not to do so. If you assumed he wouldn't and he assumed he could, then it's time to talk about it. Before someone calls the cops on him for abusing you, before you lose your job, before you lose custody. If you're at risk because of his behavior, then it needs to stop.

(in reply to Shawn1066)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: is this complaining ? - 10/20/2007 12:52:58 AM   
UsemeinTexas


Posts: 23
Joined: 12/13/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: adoracat

quote:

ORIGINAL: UsemeinTexas

quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

quote:

ORIGINAL: UsemeinTexas
I did ask my master ,I wanted other masters opinions.


so.... does that mean you didn't like or agree with your Master's opinion?

NO that means he TOLD  me to ask other Masters when I didnt understand his point of view!!


dear....

you left this out of your original, and subsequent posts.  we arent mind readers, and so we cannot know what you are seeking if you dont give the circumstance which lead to the question.

example:  Daddy and i were discussing tattoos long ago, and he had some designs he liked which i knew my husband would have fits over.  Daddy was angry that i would allow wolf veto power, but what he didnt know is that *i* have veto power over wolf's ink because i have to look at it.  once he knew that bit of information, though, his anger vanished, and he apologised to me.

how can anyone make a qualified guess if they dont know the whole of the situation?

kitten, propped up and hurting....

 So you are telling me that you do not have an opinion of your own ? I asked the question I was told to ask, in the way I was told to ask. It is a simple question, that deserved a simple statement of opinion. Why did you need to know that Master told me to ask? 

See post # 29. That is the answer tomy question.  I do appreciate everyone elses input. Thank you all for trying to help me !
Be well All!

< Message edited by UsemeinTexas -- 10/20/2007 12:56:55 AM >

(in reply to adoracat)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: is this complaining ? - 10/20/2007 1:28:13 AM   
susie


Posts: 1699
Joined: 11/21/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: UsemeinTexas

quote:

ORIGINAL: adoracat

quote:

ORIGINAL: UsemeinTexas

quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

quote:

ORIGINAL: UsemeinTexas
I did ask my master ,I wanted other masters opinions.


so.... does that mean you didn't like or agree with your Master's opinion?

NO that means he TOLD  me to ask other Masters when I didnt understand his point of view!!


dear....

you left this out of your original, and subsequent posts.  we arent mind readers, and so we cannot know what you are seeking if you dont give the circumstance which lead to the question.

example:  Daddy and i were discussing tattoos long ago, and he had some designs he liked which i knew my husband would have fits over.  Daddy was angry that i would allow wolf veto power, but what he didnt know is that *i* have veto power over wolf's ink because i have to look at it.  once he knew that bit of information, though, his anger vanished, and he apologised to me.

how can anyone make a qualified guess if they dont know the whole of the situation?

kitten, propped up and hurting....

 So you are telling me that you do not have an opinion of your own ? I asked the question I was told to ask, in the way I was told to ask. It is a simple question, that deserved a simple statement of opinion. Why did you need to know that Master told me to ask? 

See post # 29. That is the answer tomy question.  I do appreciate everyone elses input. Thank you all for trying to help me !
Be well All!


Knowing that you have already asked your Master and discussed the situation with him makes a big difference to how people read your OP and respond to that question.

Of course people have opinions of their own but knowing what they are responding to makes a huge difference. If you want clear answers to questions, make the question clear in the first place.

(in reply to UsemeinTexas)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: is this complaining ? - 10/20/2007 2:09:54 AM   
slaveluci


Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: UsemeinTexas

when is mentioning the bruises and welts recieved during a session  considered complaining? If I tell my Master that he has caused deep bruises or welts , shoule I keep him updated on the condition of the deep bruises and/or welts, or should I only mention it once? Is mentioning it once considered complaining when I only want to make sure he knows that he has hurt me?

When I get deep bruises, I always mention them more than once.  Not to complain, but to brag!  It seems no matter how hard I'm beaten, the marks usually quickly fade.  When I get some good ones that stay a bit, I mention them and show them to Him over and over 'cause I'm so proud of them.  He doesn't mind a bit...............luci

_____________________________

To choose a good book, look in an inquisitor’s prohibited list. ~John Aikin

(in reply to UsemeinTexas)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: is this complaining ? - 10/20/2007 2:18:57 AM   
shellzbythesea


Posts: 120
Joined: 5/27/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie


Enjoy them if you can.  Try to look at them as reminders of you and your dominant connecting in the bond you are creating and enjoying together. 


i'd have to agree...few things are as intimate as this.
 
Being still "somewhat" new myself, i do understand her concerns though.  It's initially quite scary to see them just because you begin to wonder if something actually went wrong.  Then they fade and it's a huge relief....but ONLY because you know there is no permanent damage. 
 
Otherwise, i'd like to wear them on my body every damned day so i can relive the experience in my mind over and over again...and because it makes me feel him even when i'm not around him.

(in reply to ownedgirlie)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: is this complaining ? - 10/20/2007 2:24:12 AM   
subnstudent


Posts: 105
Joined: 9/18/2006
Status: offline 		I think it's only 'complaining' when you're trying to evoke a specific reaction from the Dominant. Course in that case, it's actually 'manipulation' which sort of breaks down the boundary between D and s. Communication and actually working with information between the two of you (like explaining why X bothers you and what feelings you have about Y, the D and s both), and renegotiating limits, expectations, and responsibilities, IMO, is a much more useful tool.

And, um, how did you go from a bad relationship 6 days ago to a new Master? (citing profile journal and other posts)


(in reply to slaveluci)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: is this complaining ? - 10/20/2007 2:32:44 AM   
came4U


Posts: 3572
Joined: 1/23/2007
From: London, Ontario
Status: offline 		Your profile does state you like to be flogged so if you claim you like it..did you think it would tickle and not leave a mark?

Like it or don't like it. Sucks that it actually caused bruising and hurts huh?

po thang.

(in reply to subnstudent)
Profile   Post #: 40
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