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RE: Age? - 10/21/2007 9:14:27 AM   
came4U


Posts: 3572
Joined: 1/23/2007
From: London, Ontario
Status: offline 		I agree Primordius

Youth has it's advantages and having babies (although I still have my parts in working order) for me is over and done and whew...

I don't disagree at all that people should stick closer to their age-frame.

(in reply to Primordius)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Age? - 10/21/2007 9:36:20 AM   
LotusSong


Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
Status: offline 		The more I think on this, I have come to the conclusion FOR ME, that "age" is experience in wiitwd.  Let's say, a person can enter a college at no set age.. from age 10 to 70 to study a certain "major". In this case BDSM 101.  How will a freshman compare to a graduate student?  Do you think the graduate student might know a bit more?Maybe \know how to interact with the professors a bit better?  It boils down to learning curves and exposure, then factor in hands-on. 
 
A nurse isn't allowed to practice nursing until she has 4 years (which includes her clinicals- one's book learnin' and the other actual experience) under her belt.  There is a difference between thinking you know and knowing.  All you can hope for is that YOUR "knowing" will be in demand.

(in reply to BIllCT)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Age? - 10/21/2007 9:39:27 AM   
MistressHolly71


Posts: 354
Joined: 7/4/2007
From: Southern Maryland
Status: offline 		I prefer people between 25 & 50 but I go mostly by maturity. 

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Member: Lance's Fag Hags

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(in reply to BIllCT)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Age? - 10/21/2007 9:39:36 AM   
SteelofUtah


Posts: 5307
Joined: 10/2/2007
From: St George Utah
Status: offline 		I want to chime in on this.

I was 16 when my friends Father noticed in me a Natural ability to remove emotion from my relationships when they stopped being the things that I wanted. That basically when the relationship stopped being what I wanted I was no longer emotionally attached to the person. My friends Father who was in the lifestyle equated what I was doing with these girls as "Obey or Leave" mentality and decided to Teach me about the Lifestyle. In Vegas he was well known in many groups but when he started to Mentor me he became ostricized and removed from many groups. Being 16 and Dominant in this lifestyle is VERY difficult.

Case in point. The USUAL age of submissives (In my community and in the Online communities I belonged to) is 30 to 45. I was looking for a TPE or TAE and 24/7 live in relationships. This requires surrender. How many 30 to 45 year olds are willing to surrender complete control to someone who isn't legally able to Vote yet? That said I had LOTS of Sex in the early years because it would seem that that those 30 to 45 year old women wanted to F**K me but not surrender to me.

By the time I was 18 things were still bad and I made LOTS ofr mistakes. A new Group found it's way to Las Vegas called TNG which ment The Next Generation which was 18 to 25 year olds interested in this lifestyle. I made new friends and made LOTS of mistakes because of my upbringing I had serious hang ups about how Kink = Sex. and submissives want Sex not surrender so I did LOTS of stupid things and I have that cross to bear today.

I am now 27 (Well in a few day's I'll be) and I have to say 16 Was WAY too young to get into this lifestyle. I was never treated equally and in many ways today I am still not. I have been active in this lifestyle 8 of the 10+ years I have been involved in it and in many ways have more experience than most of those 40 to 50 something Doms who have been in this lifestyle for 4 years and are seen as Uber Dom Gods, and you ALL know the kind of person I am talking about.

Being Young in this lifestyle means Haveing to accept critisism ALL THE TIME being called a "BABY" and being wasked over because what you say "Coming from the mouths of babes" The Truth is I know that my opinins will change EVERYONE'S do you just have to admit that no one NO ONE has it all figured out just yet.

I have tried to stop caring what people thinkof my age But OBVIOUSLY I have been unsuccessful as it is still pissing me off.

To answer the question Wether you like it or not AGE has a lot to do with this lifestyle, Perhaps not with every individual but age in general has a LOT to do with this lifestyle as a whole.

As Always

Steel

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(in reply to came4U)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Age? - 10/21/2007 9:41:01 AM   
godless13513


Posts: 12
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DiurnalVampire

quote:

ORIGINAL: BIllCT

Does age really matter in matters of D/s or BDSM?
I think it is the physical and mental attraction that counts as well as the acts being performed isn't it?


<snip>
Age can also lend to the physical and mental attraction. How much mental attraction might there be between a  50 yr old man and a 21 yr old woman who have nothing in common but a kink? Or vice versa, a 50 yr old woman and a 21 yr old man?


Some times there can be quite a lot of mental attraction as well.  There are people mature enough that others in their own age range don't fulfill those mental needs.  Or there are older people who think that those in their age range are sticks-in-the-mud.

Just going off my little relationship - started at 20, he was 52.  Probably part of our compatibility is out chameleon-like adaptation to other age groups - we both have friends everywhere from 18 to 82 - many of them mutual.

(in reply to DiurnalVampire)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Age? - 10/21/2007 9:44:10 AM   
MistressHolly71


Posts: 354
Joined: 7/4/2007
From: Southern Maryland
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong

A nurse isn't allowed to practice nursing until she has 4 years (which includes her clinicals- one's book learnin' and the other actual experience) under her belt.


That might be true in some states, but there are associate's degree(2 year) nursing progams in other states.


_____________________________

Sex is fun & pleasure is good for you. -- The Ethical Slut

Self-confessed Yarnaphile

Member: Lance's Fag Hags

My Ravelry

(in reply to LotusSong)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Age? - 10/21/2007 9:51:55 AM   
MySweetSubmssive


Posts: 1139
Joined: 2/7/2006
From: Lehigh Valley, PA
Status: offline 		Disagree!  What about 37 year old women who want to have kids ... now?  (smiling)  We have our priorities in order. 

MSS

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Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Age? - 10/21/2007 9:54:22 AM   
LotusSong


Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressHolly71

quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong

A nurse isn't allowed to practice nursing until she has 4 years (which includes her clinicals- one's book learnin' and the other actual experience) under her belt.


That might be true in some states, but there are associate's degree(2 year) nursing progams in other states.



Do you think that maybe the 4 year degree or the PA (physician's assistant) degree might be more knowlegeable?
 
Do you think that John Waren might know just a bit MORE than myself? :)  (I do!  I've read his book.) 



< Message edited by LotusSong -- 10/21/2007 9:57:58 AM >

(in reply to MistressHolly71)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Age? - 10/21/2007 9:58:49 AM   
domiguy


Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline 		Nothing wrong with pressing the flesh of a younger woman....But on the hole, I prefer a rather well seasoned gash.

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Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Age? - 10/21/2007 10:24:11 AM   
iammachine


Posts: 1549
Joined: 1/25/2006
Status: offline
quote:

Does age really matter in matters of D/s or BDSM?


To some people yes, to some people no. Age matters at least as far as "Is this person a consenting adult?"

As far as that goes, pesonally, to me, age matters a little. How many revolutions someone has made around the sun won't make or break any decisions that I make about them, it's just one of many characteristics that make up that person, and one of many things that I take into consideration.

Myself, I have always hung around people that are somewhat older than I am. My closest siblings were considerably older than I was (6-8 years), I was in college when I was supposed to be in highschool, and frequenting dance clubs at 14. Being around with a group that was older than I me was simply normal, so I identify pretty much anywhere from up to about ten years my senior to pretty much be a peer without batting an eyelash.  I've actually caught myself thinking someone was "really young," then finding out they were a year or two older than myself.

Anyway, as far as age goes, if I consider someone to be in 'peer' range, we probably have enough in common in terms of life experience and interests to not have too much of an issue. Too much of a discrepancy in age, while it isn't something that can't be overcome, can lead to issues with discrepancies that might be difficult to reconcile; differences in interests, life, career, relationship and/or family goals, vigor, wisdom based maturity. As for anything, there are exceptions to every rule, but it's stuff to consider.

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(in reply to BIllCT)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Age? - 10/21/2007 10:28:48 AM   
onthedl94


Posts: 17
Joined: 8/18/2007
Status: offline
It seems that everyone has taken this question and gone way too far with it without asking the originator for any additional details. I mean, why specifically has this question been posed? Is it because there is a significant age difference in the relationship he is currently in or is thinking of entering in to? Or is it because he is currently in or interested in a relationship that is considered taboo (as if BDSM isn’t already considered taboo by the vanilla world), such as with someone who is viewed as too young as mentioned by SteelofUtah? So what is it, BIllCT? What are the details behind your question? Once those details are provided I believe you will recieve a less broad range of responses and get advice more specific to your situation with which you will be able to put to good use.
 
But back to my original response, personally I am more interested in the physical and mental connection between me and my Dom than what age we are.

(in reply to BIllCT)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Age? - 10/21/2007 10:31:12 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Reposted:

Age matters as much as it matters to you.

On many levels, age doesn't really mean much when it comes to the individual.  There really are lots of mature, ready, and open younger people who fit in very well with mature, ready and open older people.

That being said, one's age IS something of an indicator about them- the culture you grow up in is a HUGE influence on your interests and perspectives, the politics, diseases, education style, music, fashion, art, books, they all get experienced in different ways in different times at different ages.

That's not a killjoy- I amaze people all the time by bringing up movie and song trivia from decades before I was born (my mother raised me right).  And for someone older who ENJOYS discovering new things, a younger person is perfect as a gateway into the next generation of cultural discoveries.

As well there IS something to be said for the stability of the old.  Younger people have to go through life stages- finding yourself, job, family, establishing yourself as an adult (a process which is much farther extended than in previous generations, again not a bad thing necessarily).  They often don't have the same problems and responsibilities as older people- ex's, kids, health care, etc.  There's an element of rapid change and instability in being with someone younger.

Finally, none of these has to matter to any great degree at all.  We ARE all still people and May'December relationships are a LOT more common than people believe, and they can work out just great.  It's not all just older men in mid-life crisis and younger women sponging.  We each individually have our own histories, quirks, problems, perspectives and joys.  Age won't take that away and it doesn't make it impossible for a relationship to work.

As long as you keep everything in perspective, and really examine things, as long as you can use the strengths that you have together and become a cohsive unit- then age can be just another part of the person, something you sometimes love and something you sometimes can't stand.

http://www.collarchat.com/m_926958/mpage_1/key_age/tm.htm#926970
why is age such a big deal?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_866797/mpage_1/key_age/tm.htm#866828
Does age equal experience?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_607651/mpage_2/key_age/tm.htm#608245
Age

http://www.collarchat.com/m_550824/mpage_1/key_age/tm.htm#550893
Does age matter in a sub?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_441624/mpage_1/key_age/tm.htm#441638
Does age make experience?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_389399/mpage_2/key_age/tm.htm#389616
Age since weight is being done

http://www.collarchat.com/m_366036/mpage_1/key_age/tm.htm#366124
Should age matter for a sub?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_336445/mpage_1/key_age/tm.htm#336457
Yes another ? about age

http://www.collarchat.com/m_325491/mpage_1/key_age/tm.htm#325694
Does age difference matter?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_290637/mpage_2/key_age/tm.htm#291554
What is the oldest dom you would consider?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_220984/mpage_1/key_age/tm.htm#220997
What is it with girls having masters double their ages?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_209024/mpage_3/key_age/tm.htm#212527
Does age matter? (2)

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Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Age? - 10/21/2007 11:50:06 AM   
xoxi


Posts: 1066
Status: offline 		I was having a conversation with my man about 'mental age' and how it affected our relationship.

He is 32...I see him as a 32 year old man.  I'm 24.  But a lot of times we interact as though I'm younger...it's not exactly ageplay because it's nothing conscious, but when I'm with him I feel like a 16 year old girl with an older, experienced man, still unsure of my own sexuality but unbearably curious....rather than a 24 year old woman who is sexually experienced and confident.  I don't quite know why it happens...but he makes me feel like a total schoolgirl and I absolutely love it.

I don't think we could interact the same way if he were my age.  The inherent age gap between us is what allows us to stretch it out a bit further and makes it natural for him to assume the dominant, experienced role.  I think if he were my age I would feel more pressured to 'act my age' because I would see him as a peer and an equal, rather than an older man.

Besides us girlies have always liked older men.  The only question is in how *much* older we prefer

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Age? - 10/21/2007 11:56:05 AM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		I prefer older guys, but I understand that there are flaws in my reasoning.  I have an expectation that and older guy will be knowledgeable, stable, secure, and able to teach me things.  I do know this is not necessarily true.  

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Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Age? - 10/21/2007 12:20:40 PM   
hisannabelle


Posts: 1992
Joined: 12/3/2006
From: Tallahassee, FL, USA
Status: offline 		greetings billct,

personally, age does not matter to me. i tend to gravitate towards older men, but in general, i am open to dating anyone who's legal. my master is 35 years my senior, so age gap relationships certainly don't bother me...we have enough in common to make it work long-term and enough difference to learn from each other, so it works for us, and that is what matters :)

respectfully,
annabelle.


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(in reply to BIllCT)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Age? - 10/21/2007 12:24:52 PM   
Raechard


Posts: 3513
Joined: 3/10/2007
From: S.E. London U.K.
Status: offline 		I don’t really care much about it; I can talk to people of any background or social standing. If I wanted to limit my experience by having set ideas such as: a person of this age should stick to their own age group or a person of this age should seek someone older by this many years, I’d simply be following the trends that other people lay down and say are right. Therefore I wouldn’t be learning anything for myself. Life is the problem and people are the resources I use to solve it. I’m not going to rule out any resource at this point in time.

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Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Age? - 10/21/2007 12:46:23 PM   
TreasureKY


Posts: 3032
Joined: 4/10/2007
From: Kentucky
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BIllCT

Does age really matter in matters of D/s or BDSM?


D/s and BDSM are two different things as far as I'm concerned.  In BDSM play, age would be far less a factor, but in a D/s relationship it might be more relevant.

(in reply to BIllCT)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Age? - 10/21/2007 12:56:36 PM   
eyesopened


Posts: 2798
Joined: 6/12/2006
From: Tampa, FL
Status: offline 		"how it should be" is a loaded question.  In my experience, relationships work best when relationship goals match.  period.  i've had good relationships that were purely play partners, or friends-with-benefits.  my bad relationships were when i was seeking one kind of relationship goal and my partner wasn't.  Two (or more) people in synch with each other is "how it should be" in my opinion.

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Profile   Post #: 38
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