Under Consideration

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shellzbythesea -> Under Consideration (10/21/2007 3:11:39 PM)
"Under consideration"... i would like to know how many Doms/Masters use this and what exactly it means to each of You, personally? i've been told by some Doms this is just a "ploy" of sorts that a player Dom uses when he's messing around with one sub's head while waiting for another to come along. Is there anyone out there who feels this is a legitimate step before emarking on the Dom/sub journey?

MDTopCouple -> RE: Under Consideration (10/21/2007 3:16:42 PM)
To my Sir, it's sort of like "going out" with or dating someone before making an active commitment to someone. Some take it seriously, some use it as a ploy. It all depends on the people involved. -daisy

smilezz -> RE: Under Consideration (10/21/2007 3:16:49 PM)
There is a similar discussion going on in the: General BDSM Discussion called: more about collars I think the best statement from that thread was made by SimplyMichael ~smilezz~

TheChauvinist -> RE: Under Consideration (10/21/2007 3:22:24 PM)
I personally don't use this term. I find it to be silly. If two people are seriously involved with one another, they can just say so to those that inquire.

shellzbythesea -> RE: Under Consideration (10/21/2007 3:24:15 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MDTopCouple To my Sir, it's sort of like "going out" with or dating someone before making an active commitment to someone. Some take it seriously, some use it as a ploy. It all depends on the people involved. -daisy See, i can kind of understand, accept, and appreciate this first point. If that's what it's meant to be, it makes total sense to me. i mean, who doesn't go on at least a few dates with someone (even in vanilla land) before they even think about committing themselves further? Thank you!

PrettyOHDomme -> RE: Under Consideration (10/21/2007 3:40:22 PM)
I currently have a submissive "under consideration." I mean the phrase to mean that we're getting to know each other. I don't necessarily want to be distracted by anyone else while I'm involved with him, but he certainly does not yet wear my collar. I like the analogy to "vanilla dating." Honestly, who would offer a collar after playing once or twice? However, you do need something to signify a connection. -Miss Ellen

MyMasterStephen -> RE: Under Consideration (10/21/2007 3:52:43 PM)
To me, taking a girl "under consideration" means that I am focussing all my time and attention upon her, trying to work out if we might be compatible long-term, and not seeking any contact with other submissives. It is a preliminary and provisional demonstration of commitment.

AquaticSub -> RE: Under Consideration (10/21/2007 3:53:52 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: shellzbythesea Is there anyone out there who feels this is a legitimate step before emarking on the Dom/sub journey? I think it could be. Just depends on who is using the term. I probably wouldn't care if a dominant I was seriously interested in wanted to use the term, as long as we were both on the same page regarding it's meaning.

Sirandlil1 -> RE: Under Consideration (10/21/2007 5:29:14 PM)
I have used "under consideration" when I was getting to know my lil1. To me it meant I was focused on her and seeing if we were meant to take that next big step.... you stated some "Domes" some feel using "under consideration" as a ploy .....would a true Dom require to use anything as a "ploy"? I think not

shellzbythesea -> RE: Under Consideration (10/21/2007 5:40:44 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Sirandlil1 I have used "under consideration" when I was getting to know my lil1. To me it meant I was focused on her and seeing if we were meant to take that next big step.... you stated some "Domes" some feel using "under consideration" as a ploy .....would a true Dom require to use anything as a "ploy"? I think not i'm talking about Doms that choose NOT to use this term or step in their D/s relationships. These Doms have told me that those who do use this term are players.

Rushemery -> RE: Under Consideration (10/21/2007 5:44:02 PM)
Someone told me they got a lot of "mean" mail after putting that on their profile, I think that would be rude, lol. I tend to hide profiles that I see that on, to me it means they are talking serously to someone so I wont flirt or write them because I feel its disrespectful to the two involved

adoracat -> RE: Under Consideration (10/22/2007 5:31:44 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MyMasterStephen To me, taking a girl "under consideration" means that I am focussing all my time and attention upon her, trying to work out if we might be compatible long-term, and not seeking any contact with other submissives. It is a preliminary and provisional demonstration of commitment. nods i've used that term in the same manner. also...(as i am a sub) it lets dominants know that i am not looking at the time, and allows them to make an informed decision about messaging me. kitten

Celeste43 -> RE: Under Consideration (10/22/2007 5:51:42 AM)
Consideration is analogous to dating seriously. It's more than just for fun but you haven't decided if he/she is The One.

celticlord2112 -> RE: Under Consideration (10/22/2007 5:53:00 AM)
quote: These Doms have told me that those who do use this term are players. Sounds like more nonsense from the "twue Dom" manual. There are those who use these terms and are players. There are those who use these terms and are serious. I would be suspicious of generalizations in either direction. People are individuals in the final analysis. I prefer to take them on that basis.

RRafe -> RE: Under Consideration (10/22/2007 6:53:24 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: shellzbythesea "Under consideration"... i would like to know how many Doms/Masters use this and what exactly it means to each of You, personally? i've been told by some Doms this is just a "ploy" of sorts that a player Dom uses when he's messing around with one sub's head while waiting for another to come along. Is there anyone out there who feels this is a legitimate step before emarking on the Dom/sub journey? I always see it as someone saying they are going steady-leave us alone while we do some exploring.

shellzbythesea -> RE: Under Consideration (10/22/2007 7:13:05 AM)
Thanks to A/all who've responded. i appreciate the viewpoints. :)

CreativeDominant -> RE: Under Consideration (10/22/2007 7:25:05 AM)
Chime me in with Celtic Lord and Rafe and others on this... There are those who use this term and do so with starry-eyed romantic type submissives so they can keep her misdirected while they continue to play others. There are those who use this term and mean it seriously. They have stopped dealing with other submissives, at least on a pursuit-type of level, and are focusing that pursuit-type of attention as well as other types of attention on one submissive. As Rafe said, sort of like the BDSM version of "more serious than friends going out for a good time, we're going steady!!!".

KatyLied -> RE: Under Consideration (10/22/2007 7:33:59 AM)
I consider the words "under consideration" to mean the same thing as "seeing each other". I think that people use it because they like the way it sounds. I would not use it because it does nothing for me. I'd say "we're dating" or "we're exclusive". What are you considering? If you like them? If they like you? If you want to pursue a relationship? None of that requires special terminology.

SimplyMichael -> RE: Under Consideration (10/22/2007 7:37:58 AM)
I love that some subs are "under consideration" because it allows me to spot the wack jobs.

celticlord2112 -> RE: Under Consideration (10/22/2007 7:51:13 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: KatyLied I consider the words "under consideration" to mean the same thing as "seeing each other". I think that people use it because they like the way it sounds. I would not use it because it does nothing for me. I'd say "we're dating" or "we're exclusive". What are you considering? If you like them? If they like you? If you want to pursue a relationship? None of that requires special terminology. While I agree the phrase may be approximated by statements such as "we're dating," I think the phrase has some contextual merit. Given the power dynamics of D/s and M/s relationships, saying one is "under consideration" also indicates the question of a prospective submissive's capacity to serve a particular dominant is being evaluated. I believe two people can like, even love each other, and be completely ill-matched as a D/s or M/s couple. In my experience, if the lifestyle has any intrinsic advantage to the vanilla world, it is this capacity to evaluate the viability of a longer-term relationship somewhat rationally (on both sides).

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