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RE: Questions about BDSM'er cheating - 10/22/2007 2:59:31 PM   
daddysliloneds


Posts: 1351
Joined: 6/28/2006
Status: offline 		this site's been around for 20 years? why your first post today? someone fucked you over so you need to take it out on the world?!
please get a grip on yourself and your assumptions!

oh, and no, i've never cheated nor have i been cheated on!

quote:

ORIGINAL: Justlovemeplz

Simple question: How many people on this site cheat?

Guess we shall never know the real statistics but from numerous conversations over 20 years on this site and others I feel comfortable saying the majority cheats. Very few men are single looking for their soul mate on here but perhaps a few might be. Instead you’ll find them married and cheating giving the excuse that the wife wouldn’t understand my needs and I want to maintain my financial stability or maybe divorced looking for that perfect sub to serve him since his ex wife didn’t.  Of course men don’t have to look far to find so many women looking for their knight in shining armor and being submissive is just icing on the cake. Now here’s the kicker, there are those women who don’t care if your married or even if they our. Here’s another high quality trait for us BDSM’er that we should be proud of! (NOT) God knows we wouldn’t want to take responsibility for our sick distorted behaviors.
This lifestyle is supposed to be about Trust, Communication and Respect but instead it’s consumed with Disrespect and Deceit which if you’re in a current relationship while searching online already makes you NO different than any common immoral person. We should be the part of society that stands out in a crowd with values and morals! We talk about safety but yet we put our own families and ourselves in danger by our reckless behaviors.  
To simply trust someone you just met online or even spoke to for 6 months and feel you know them completely is absolutely absurd! Being to trusting will get you killed because whether you want to believe it or not there are those out there who have a totally different agenda. Haven’t you heard “I thought I was such a good judge of character” from the many victims (male & female) that have physical and emotional scares.
Look inside yourself! Are you guilty? Do you owe yourself and others an apology because you compromised your beliefs and it had adverse effects on friends or strangers? Do the right thing and stand up for the lifestyle that you profess to love. Have respect for yourself! Stop the cheating!! Handle your own situation first before adding someone else to it.  

 


(in reply to Justlovemeplz)
Profile   Post #: 61
RE: Questions about BDSM'er cheating - 10/22/2007 4:27:37 PM   
onthedl94


Posts: 17
Joined: 8/18/2007
Status: offline
quote:

quote:

This lifestyle is supposed to be about Trust, Communication and Respect


Funny, I thought those were really just kind of general values that pretty much apply to living life in general. I thought this lifestyle was about kink.

Damn, I guess I'm in the wrong place.


I agree with this 100%.  Whether in a BDSM relationship, vanilla relationship, same sex relationship and/or any other relationship, shouldn't all of these items apply?

I am in agreement with many other people who have commented on this topic;  I think you (OP) have other issues within yourself that you need to address which have spawned this question.  Basically, to me anyway, it sounds like this is a classic case of "A woman scorned."

But I do wish you well with your exploration of this subject, however.

< Message edited by onthedl94 -- 10/22/2007 4:45:51 PM >

(in reply to iammachine)
Profile   Post #: 62
RE: Questions about BDSM'er cheating - 10/22/2007 4:45:32 PM   
proudsub


Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline
quote:

this site's been around for 20 years?

I believe it's been only about 5 yrs.

_____________________________

proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan


(in reply to daddysliloneds)
Profile   Post #: 63
RE: Questions about BDSM'er cheating - 10/22/2007 5:48:50 PM   
MistresssAria


Posts: 165
Joined: 6/17/2007
Status: offline 		I'm poly, so whoever I date and I decide our rules on cheating (ie: go ahead & sleep with others, just let me know briefly & use protection)..........and whatever they may be, we make sure whoever we're with is aware of these rules.
But the rules change.

(in reply to LATEXBABY64)
Profile   Post #: 64
RE: Questions about BDSM'er cheating - 10/22/2007 6:01:29 PM   
Dragynsfury


Posts: 79
Joined: 10/14/2007
Status: offline 		Here we go with the bashing and absolute flaming of posters some of who are NEW.  Sheesh. D/s is a relationship like all others and ESPECIALLY for this lifestyle there should be trust.  Just another lame opinion. But it seems to be supported by lots of other sites dedicated to the D/s lifestyle.  If it is a secret it's cheating.  Period.  However, if everyone knows - embrace the love have fun. 

(in reply to MistresssAria)
Profile   Post #: 65
RE: Questions about BDSM'er cheating - 10/22/2007 6:27:28 PM   
onthedl94


Posts: 17
Joined: 8/18/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Dragynsfury

...If it is a secret it's cheating.  Period.  However, if everyone knows - embrace the love have fun. 



(in reply to Dragynsfury)
Profile   Post #: 66
RE: Questions about BDSM'er cheating - 10/22/2007 6:34:30 PM   
LATEXBABY64


Posts: 2107
Joined: 4/8/2004
Status: offline 		this is a good point but would also add if you know it would hurt someone yep

(in reply to onthedl94)
Profile   Post #: 67
RE: Questions about BDSM'er cheating - 10/22/2007 7:10:32 PM   
ELUSIVE1


Posts: 536
Joined: 9/11/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: onthedl94

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dragynsfury

...If it is a secret it's cheating.  Period.  However, if everyone knows - embrace the love have fun. 



I have always said 'it's only poly if you all know and like eachother'

_____________________________

"Words have no power to impress the mind without the exquisite horror of their reality"

*Poe
http://alt.com/blog/ELUSIVE1NC
http://users.adultspace.com/ELUSIVE1NC/


(in reply to onthedl94)
Profile   Post #: 68
RE: Questions about BDSM'er cheating - 10/22/2007 7:28:53 PM   
iammachine


Posts: 1549
Joined: 1/25/2006
Status: offline
quote:

I have always said 'it's only poly if you all know and like eachother'


Not everyone gets along with everyone else's partners, yet they respect the value of the relationship.

I agree 100%, however, that disclosure is a requirement.


_____________________________

I still hear you scream... in every breath, every single motion

(in reply to ELUSIVE1)
Profile   Post #: 69
RE: Questions about BDSM'er cheating - 10/22/2007 7:34:46 PM   
iammachine


Posts: 1549
Joined: 1/25/2006
Status: offline
quote:

quote:

quote:

This lifestyle is supposed to be about Trust, Communication and Respect



Funny, I thought those were really just kind of general values that pretty much apply to living life in general. I thought this lifestyle was about kink.

Damn, I guess I'm in the wrong place.



I agree with this 100%.


Didn't anyone warn you about supporting my statements?

I might develop an ego or something....

Wait, nevermind, too late!

iammachine
with a tongue in her cheek... but whose?


_____________________________

I still hear you scream... in every breath, every single motion

(in reply to onthedl94)
Profile   Post #: 70
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