RE: Outing the 'fakes', 'players' and 'wannabes' (Full Version)

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SimplyMichael -> RE: Outing the 'fakes', 'players' and 'wannabes' (10/22/2007 7:36:06 AM)

I am a proud player who many consider a fake and I started  out and am still a proud wannabe.

And I am a far more talented dominant than many who stalk this site and have done far more real world BDSM than a great many on this site.  My bet is that who have done more than I would often agree with me about being a player and a wannabe.

Those who worry about being "real" are most often who I think are the biggest idiots.



stella41b -> RE: Outing the 'fakes', 'players' and 'wannabes' (10/22/2007 7:51:44 AM)

Hey you people, are we in the same community or even on the same website here?

I don't know, but speaking for myself I'm coming across and finding only good people in the community or on Collarme. I share the same interests with some of them, with others I don't.

Now whether this is an unpopular viewpoint or a new concept I'll leave to you to work out.

This is to all those who've posted here (and others who think the same) going on just like the OP about all the 'fakes', 'players' and 'wannabes'.

Well maybe it isn't the 'fakes', 'players' and 'wannabes' which is the problem, but your attitude towards other people.

How come you people are so focussed on what they're doing?

Surely your own life, relationships and interests are more interesting. Or aren't they?



camille65 -> RE: Outing the 'fakes', 'players' and 'wannabes' (10/22/2007 7:53:11 AM)

In a way I don't think there are such people as 'fakes, players or wannabes'. There are some people who don't know what the heck they want so they go after everything in sight.
There are those that want to go RT but when faced with the opportunity they panic.
Some probably think if they try every catagory of person here that eventually they will find someone.
And yes, there are those who want what they want and truly don't care about the other person.

But.. none of that is fake. It is who they are at this time.

As to blocking, I just delete unwanted email (I get very little in the way of wanker stuff yay) and in the forums I've blocked 2 maybe 3 for either illegible writing or font color I have to highlight each n every time I try and read them.

Latex, I included your post here because it struck me that for a guy who goes on about how labels are misused, you listed more below than I could dream up. I don't get that. It's like you made a slot for all the people and that's where they go.
You may not have meant it in that way, but that is what I got out of your post.



quote:

ORIGINAL: LATEXBABY64

i use these things to determined a real person or not
  1. the sexual predator ( they do not want to get to know you but more how to use you )
  2. the  tourist ( they do not know if they are kinky but horny and want to try it) most people in the lifestyle by now in one way or form have found their way to here or know about it. So the phrase i did not know about this lifestyle or there were people like this out there.   Um well geezer like you never read or watch TV or goto the movies or see the news  I just do not believe it.
  3. the non committed relationship (  is more about living for the moment then long term. find these people in one divorce after another one sub or domme after another trying to find that grass is always greener person
  4. the  manipulator ( is very good controlling your feelings or thoughts but again for the purpose of selfish needs )
  5. the excuse maker(  often times can not show up when they say they will have an excuse to cover for all his or her errors
  6. the victim ( these people often put the role of i am not good enough or all of the sounded like out of thin air make up stories why they are not ready to start something  ( there whole life is like that jobs education look close there)
  7. the swinger ( is more along the lines of sexual addiction.  they live to thrill their sexual lust or desire you will not find anything serious about this type)
  8. The on line experimenter ( these people are emotionally taxing. They have read every site. every book.  they are the most empty people )
  9. the Pro Peeps ( sexual servants  ( they are there for one purpose to make money it is a business. )
  10. the Fashion Frauds ( i am fashionable kinky party person  social lite   these people are like water dry up with then sun comes out ) you will find very little to sub stain them in a long term loving relationship

there are some many forms and veriations there will always be an acception to the rule. but like most things if you trust your gut and keep a clear head you will come out ok  ( play it smart take it slow never rush.  look at their past really close )



toservez -> RE: Outing the 'fakes', 'players' and 'wannabes' (10/22/2007 8:02:35 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

Those who worry about being "real" are most often who I think are the biggest idiots.


I agree. Nothing more attractive with people jousting on the Internet about who is more real! That was sarcasm by the way!

I think people who obsess over the “fakes” and “wannabes” would be much better served if they took the time to look in the mirror and see what they were doing wrong instead of spending time in being pissed off that life, especially in cyber land, does not go exactly as planned.

My first thought is whenever I see people whether vent on the message board, their profile, journal entries and messages to others my first and really only reaction is “What makes you so special?” We all deal with it and for most of us we can handle it without any issues.

If the only people that you are in contact with always seem to be the “fakes” and the “wannabes” then it may or may not be them but I do know the biggest issue is the person pointing the finger.



LadyLynx -> RE: Outing the 'fakes', 'players' and 'wannabes' (10/22/2007 8:27:25 AM)

I vote for 'NO' on putting a section like that on the message boards.  yeah there are people that annoy me, but is that truly worth having a section devoted to outing them? no. besides, they will just make another profile. 

And the threads where the OP is ranting about fakes,wannabes and married people (or any other constant rant.) while those are annoying to, they are just venting their spleen. I would much rather they do that, then bottle it up.



xandriasboy -> RE: Outing the 'fakes', 'players' and 'wannabes' (10/22/2007 8:45:15 AM)

A very interesting exchange. Within 24 hours of setting up an account here I was contacted by a quaint young lady who was just sure she was what I'd ordered. Needless to say, I informed the board adminstrators and I hope this will be the end of it. 



LATEXBABY64 -> RE: Outing the 'fakes', 'players' and 'wannabes' (10/22/2007 8:50:51 AM)

my post was to try and give some kinda of idea of someone that would not fit into what you might be looking for. Guidelines help us make good choices  call it the consumer reports of bdsm lol also there is a melting pot of all kinds of people
but there is also a ton of who are not what they portray that is been proven.  I am not talking about two people that fall out of a relationship cauase it was not the right person from them. I am talking agenda seeking type.  A lot of this stuff is common sense  



BossyShoeBitch -> RE: Outing the 'fakes', 'players' and 'wannabes' (10/22/2007 9:04:04 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Squeakers

Is there 'really' a need for black listing others?    


Is there a need?  Sure.  Some people who are not looking for a relationship but rather a play partner, would certainly benefit from such a list.  For that matter, the same people could probably benefit from a list of recommended partners (yes, I already know that such lists occur outside of Collarme.) There could be a little checkbox questionaire form..
Hey, it could be just like the FEEDBACK forums on EBAY!!  That way, the "accused" has a public forum to confront his/her accuser.. We could see it all unfolding before our very eyes.. Popcorn sales would skyrocket!  But wait.  Maybe, just maybe there is a reason that the TOS here state "No criticism of other users"..   
As others have posted, who gets to be judge and jury?  Who gets that right?  The point I am trying to make is that such a list is purely subjective (your kink may not be my kink and all that) and it boils down to "sandbox" politics.  "Psst.. let's not play with so and so today.. He's got cooties.. ewwww.." But the next day, you could be the one with cooties...

Am I a fake? Some think so.   I know that I have been called much worse than a fake when rejecting someone here.  As a matter of fact, Michael accused me of being a man and blocked me because I was hesitant to call him for weeks when we first started writing to each other..  Thankfully,  Michael now knows I'm real *S*, and his is really the only opinion that matters to me.

I know that I would only look at such a list out of a mild curiousity and probably wouldn't take it seriously anyway..  I have my own mind and have no reason take the word of one stranger over another..



BossyShoeBitch -> RE: Outing the 'fakes', 'players' and 'wannabes' (10/22/2007 9:09:01 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: xandriasboy

A very interesting exchange. Within 24 hours of setting up an account here I was contacted by a quaint young lady who was just sure she was what I'd ordered. Needless to say, I informed the board adminstrators and I hope this will be the end of it. 


huh?



LATEXBABY64 -> RE: Outing the 'fakes', 'players' and 'wannabes' (10/22/2007 9:11:48 AM)

EBAY EBAY EBAY MUST HAVE EBAY   CAN WE LIKE SELL SUBS ON EBAY



domiguy -> RE: Outing the 'fakes', 'players' and 'wannabes' (10/22/2007 9:16:04 AM)

The fakes and the wannabe's must be dealt with.....Have you ever really considered how many people out here are totally off their fucking rockers?  A shitty computer and a shitty phone line is a very inexpensive adventure...Any and all can participate...

You fucking creepy people.....I would detest the majority of you if I hadn't have banged you already.   Out the freaks!!!  They must be eradicated!!!



RRafe -> RE: Outing the 'fakes', 'players' and 'wannabes' (10/22/2007 9:18:23 AM)

People who play games usually blacklist themselves pretty effectively.

nuf said.



Prinsexx -> RE: Outing the 'fakes', 'players' and 'wannabes' (10/22/2007 9:19:06 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Squeakers

   
    Vent done.   What do other's think?   Is there 'really' a need for black listing others?    

Didn't you people call that the Macarthy Era?
Well he got caught with his knickers down.



Prinsexx -> RE: Outing the 'fakes', 'players' and 'wannabes' (10/22/2007 9:20:07 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LATEXBABY64

EBAY EBAY EBAY MUST HAVE EBAY   CAN WE LIKE SELL SUBS ON EBAY


oh yes please
i beg



RRafe -> RE: Outing the 'fakes', 'players' and 'wannabes' (10/22/2007 9:23:10 AM)

I'm just a lowly player. The twue subbies union took away my official master card, I was heartbroken.

For about two seconds.[:D]



Mercnbeth -> RE: Outing the 'fakes', 'players' and 'wannabes' (10/22/2007 9:36:14 AM)

quote:

Latexbaby64: I am talking agenda seeking type.


LB,
I'm "agenda seeking".

I'd expect you are too. Without an agenda what happens after you succeed in meeting someone; as rare as that event seems to be for some? You need an agenda or else you have to create one on the fly when you do in fact meet. Otherwise you end up posting a tread titled; "I met someone - now what?" 

I insist people we meet have an agenda and don't keep it hidden. It is the topic of discussion that results in strengthening or weakening our desire to meet in person.

The positive "spin" on the word agenda is goal. What's wrong with having them? A goal of friendship, learning, socializing, swapping, or living 24/7 as someone's caged and pampered pet is, in another word, an agenda. I had a personal agenda prior to meeting beth of finding a woman who would had a complimentary agenda. Now, our collective agenda is to find a person or persons with agendas complimentary to ours. 

Sure there is a dark side to an agenda. A married person with an agenda to get laid, or engage in some cyber sex outside the knowledge of their partner, may not be one we'd support or encourage; however our negative value judgment isn't regarding the agenda its regarding the fact that it is hidden to the person on the other end of the experience.



bipolarber -> RE: Outing the 'fakes', 'players' and 'wannabes' (10/22/2007 9:49:09 AM)

Well, the primary problem with this is, I see new folk on here all the time. How would you differentiate between someone who is faking their way through it, and someone who is just new, and trying to fit in? (Yes, it's a stupid way to try and fit in, but you can't blame them... who wants to be the "trainee" at McDonalds, re: the BDSM community?)

Besides, after we put all the Goreans on the list, we'd probably be out of memory on the server....




chathamvahere -> RE: Outing the 'fakes', 'players' and 'wannabes' (10/22/2007 9:50:16 AM)

We agree something should be done, but what??? A ebay style feedback, hmm, swinglifestyle has such a list, maybe we should have something like that, Mods???



Raechard -> RE: Outing the 'fakes', 'players' and 'wannabes' (10/22/2007 9:55:40 AM)

This thread is so funny. Look at the total number of Collarme users and then think with the best will in the world this just isn’t going to happen. Also it will always boil down to he said she said anyway.

What would we all talk about if not fakes players and such like?[8|]

You could have all spent today talking about many other things but you all decided to come in here yet again and start talking about fakes and players.



ModeratorEleven -> RE: Outing the 'fakes', 'players' and 'wannabes' (10/22/2007 10:03:27 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: chathamvahere

We agree something should be done, but what??? A ebay style feedback, hmm, swinglifestyle has such a list, maybe we should have something like that, Mods???

The short answer is "No." The long answer is here:

Why We Don't Allow Blacklists

XI



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