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LadyHugs -> RE: Outing the 'fakes', 'players' and 'wannabes' (10/22/2007 10:19:12 PM)
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Dear Squeakers, Ladies and Gentlemen,
I will have to state, that I do not agree with any form of a Black List. All one has to do is look back through history and civilization/society; to which a mass of individuals are pitted against another mass of people and it leads to war, conflict, ethnic cleansing, death, injuries to the spirit, mind, body and or emotions--the BDSM society is just a smaller version of the national society and that is a smaller version of a global society.
I feel it wrong to make BDSM a field for competition, political struggles, popularity conflicts and the negatives to which could be endless.
There have been too many individuals who have tried to be the 'authority' of who and or who is not this or that (dominant, submissive, Master, Mistress, slave, etc) is true or not, etc. It takes on the appearances of vigilante justice where the scales for fairness are severely tipped at the disadvantage of those targeted. It takes on the appearances of a dictatorship where a select class wipes out an entire counter culture, not so much different from a 'cleansing' because they are not like the ones who seek obliterating those who exist and just want a peaceful life like any other. We see this through civilization-history in many realms. Race cleansing in African countries, in Europe in World War II, the religious cleansing' during the Inquisition and the Crusades. So many examples exist to tell the dangers of being selective as a culture and or a society/community. Yet, human kind has been charged with good sense, a sense of fairness and using far more evidence that mere personal displeasure, personal conflicts, prejudices, bias and such. We, in a general sense strive for what is right/fair/just/positive and to keep guard over what is negative and what is in plain evidence what is just a prejudice/bias of a few people.
I agree with previous postings that those 'wanting to be' have an extremely hard time and often are treated unfairly. There is often a need to be reminded that starting out new anywhere requires a chance and fairness.
There is no magic/magick potion that gives people instant knowledge/skills and the like. It requires time and first hand experiences. It takes the kindness of others to share with others, as to guide people away from mistakes and have an easier go of it. It has been sad to see where advice asked, is subjected to unkind responses and really not on the topic being disagreed but more in response to the style or substance of the responding posters. I have faith still, that there can be disagreements without being disagreeable and not making it a means of public ridicule and or a form of humiliation. It is wonderful to have Internet forums like this as to seek information independent of local or selected individual's personal opinion/view and beliefs on the matter. It really boils down to an individual's responsibility to make adult choices for what is best for them and or their relationships.
That said, it cannot be said enough. Books, writings, demonstrations, presentations, mentoring, teaching and or practices are 'individualized' and tailored to those individuals. We, in general are 'our' own captains to our destiny/goal and or happiness--not any group, any other individual(s) and or any written and oral dissertation. Opinions are like stars--there are plenty to choose from and or make. Pick what works for you--the individual.
Just some thoughts.
Respectfully submitted for consideration,
Lady Hugs
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